View Full Version : Passed up for promotion because I "lack people skills"

07-21-06, 11:07 AM
I have worked for a huge company for 10+ years and I can not seem to get out of my little dept on to better work. I finnally thought I would get this Project Managment job work directly with our internal clients. While I know I am not great at interpersonal relationships with teamates (outside my team) I PRIDE myself on my old school, customer relations skills!

I knew all the people hiring for this position and I guess my reputation of having a foot-in-mouth "abrasive" personallity (I feel so misunderstood) precedes me. Since this job is 95% customer relations (which I am job at since it requires acting) this would have been the perfect job for me. Now I know that I am truely on a black list in this company.

How can i change this perception? They litterally keep me in a dark room away from most of the staff yet acknowlege that I am really good at my gob. I think a lot of it is leftover from YEARS ago when I was younger, cockier and really clueless about my ADD.

07-21-06, 11:55 AM
It may be very possible that you are still being thought of by old perceptions, but the good news is that it can be fixed with time..

Depending on your relationship with your employer/supervisors, if its possible and you feel comfortable try addressing this with them... Sitting down and expressing your interest in broadening your skills might help them take a closer look at your current behaviors.. Also, ask them what areas they feel need improvement and be open to suggestions.. Even if you feel they are off base, just agree to work on it...

This can start the ball rolling for them to start paying attention, but be prepared you are putting a spotlight on you so be sure you can handle it.. Then i would suggest taking a short course or attend seminars on those areas... Even an evening lecture can provide you with some new knowledge, but more importantly your employer will see your committment and initiative...

Just a couple of ideas, but I wish you the best! I am sure we have all been in that place and I know its not fun to still be cashing the checks your "old mouth" wrote. :)

07-21-06, 12:28 PM
Well there are 2 options. Talk to people there you know, and get ideas.

Make sure you are taking you meds if you do take them.

And if you have that much experience and after you have tried, then maybe it's time to use it somewhere else.

I have been at my company 7 years. I faced the same thing.
I finally realized, by closing my mouth, and making it a point to think about what I was saying , and really more imp how I was saying it.
I thought out everything before I opened my mouth in meetings, out on the open floor.

I also made it a point to be a teamplayer with everyone as much as possible.
You never know who's watching, who's connected with who, very important.
I made friends in every dept. From the highest administrative, to the janitors.
It is an acting job.

I cleand up my act, and I got promoted.

07-22-06, 11:28 PM
Have you thought about looking for another job and starting over?

07-25-06, 08:26 AM
Have you thought about looking for another job and starting over?

Yes I have, I have been here so long and worked so hard to proove myself, I realy do not want to have to proove myself all over again in my 40s.

07-25-06, 08:35 AM
Any progress FIM?

07-26-06, 12:10 AM
I got passed up for a promotion for I DONT KNOW WHY! How frustrating is that? I have heard from three different people, not my boss that I have been passed up. I think that is what frustrates me the most. Why cant I hear it straight from the horses mouth? Is that so much to ask for?!

Sorry, jst had to vent a little!

07-26-06, 12:22 AM
that sucks never know, maybe they have something bigger and better in mind for you

07-26-06, 08:36 AM
I basically have the same problem butl i dont think it is so much a lack of people skills i have(the residents at the nursing home seem to love me) as much as it is a boss skills problem i have. I have always seemed to have a problem with any one in athority over me telling me what to do and what not to do.

07-26-06, 01:55 PM
I heard out through friends too, the hiring manager never told me anything. I think my customer skills are 2nd to none but I just think that I am not well liked by some people because of my flaming ADHD personality and that has given me a bad rep which precedes me.

07-28-06, 06:39 PM
I didn't get a job for the position I wanted because I didn't come off as being able to relate to people as well as another person. I didn't come off as unfriendly, just not as warm, but I am always nervous during an interview :(

09-08-06, 01:46 PM
HA They just posted up another identical position but added the following sentance to the job description JUST to keep me out: Must must strong customer and attention to detail skills." How insulting is that?

09-08-06, 09:09 PM
What a bunch of AHOLES
I hate corporate America
They can be so heartless

I feel like I am blacklisted
I got passed over for a promotion in my own department before
I am ready to go tell my emloyer to go F themselves

Master Rat
09-08-06, 09:23 PM
Look at it this way, most of us adders are superior performers compared to our counter parts. We just don't suck or kiss oss good enough or long enough. I worked in big companies for the last 21 years hating every f"in minute of it.

The best thing a motivated Adder can do for himself is to train himself to start his own business. There are tons of books out their waiting to be read and applied. Immigrants prove to us everyday to be successful all you need is strong desire and willingness to learn. You may not make it on your first business, but you will make it. I am in the process of starting my second business now.

Here comes the most important part of the message. Do not start a business in anything that you do not like or cann't picture yourself doing 16 hours a day. The start of every business is rough, so most of the time long hours are required until things smooth out.

Good Luck,


09-08-06, 11:46 PM
Yep that is me. I kick *** at the most important parts of my job, but now I have totally lost any freaking motivation since I don't see a point in staying there any longer. The only position I wanted was in underwriting, and that seems like less and less of a possibility. I see it as a job. not as a career. I have no incentive to go above and beyond. That is a bad signal

I spoke with another girl who works in the underwriting department...
The people that got the job had connections within the company. One guy's uncle was a big wig somewhere in the company, and the other one had a mom who was a super agent at a large agency

F'in nepotism

04-17-07, 08:43 AM
It's always about who you know and it's always acting - thats what persona means - wearing a mask.
So frustrating - we have to hide our real selves and be what they want us to be.