I'm in the rehab program at the moment and I haven't been coping to well. I've gone down to 2 days from 3 days but I just don't feel any better. I'm feeling like I really don't want to do this anymore. I've lost it. I've had enough of it and my life and myself. I've even asked Hubby if he wanted me to leave coz I feel so bad for hurting him by being in this state. It's like all my capabilities are failing me and I can't seem to get it back and I don't understand it. I got frustrated with something today and I just could not bring myself to ask anyone for help coz I just didn't want to talk to anyone. I ended up crying in the ladies room and hiding in there before I dealt with it. I really don't want to be there anymore and I don't know what I can do. I feel trapped. I feel like I've dug a big hole and buried myself and I can't get out.

Sometimes you can't stop sinking 'till you've hit bottom... As painfull as life is right now - things will change - don't panic. I can only offer that you will be in my thoughts - should there be a higher power that listens to that kinda thing.

Last night I felt very desperate too. I cried and felt very hopeless. But today...things that I dreaded didn't materialize. In fact what I thought was a complete failure eneded up receiving mild praise... goes to show... life always finds a way to move things forward.

Maybe we all just need to get out of the way sometimes and let life roll where it may... Somehow despite my despair I'm better off today then I was last night and all I had to do was just let events unfold. If I was a religious person, I think I'd call that "having faith".

I hope you feel better soon and a ray of hope shines into your life. I, for one, am rooting for you.

Originally posted by tudorose
I'm in the rehab program at the moment and I haven't been coping to well. I've gone down to 2 days from 3 days but I just don't feel any better. I'm feeling like I really don't want to do this anymore. I've lost it. I've had enough of it and my life and myself. I've even asked Hubby if he wanted me to leave coz I feel so bad for hurting him by being in this state. It's like all my capabilities are failing me and I can't seem to get it back and I don't understand it. I got frustrated with something today and I just could not bring myself to ask anyone for help coz I just didn't want to talk to anyone. I ended up crying in the ladies room and hiding in there before I dealt with it. I really don't want to be there anymore and I don't know what I can do. I feel trapped. I feel like I've dug a big hole and buried myself and I can't get out.

Sometimes it becomes time to get a different job.

Is that what time it seems like it is for you?

I'm not asking if it is POSSIBLE or reasonable, etc., just if it might be time.

Is the job setting stimulating the PTSD? Would other jobs avoid that?

Originally posted by why

Last night I felt very desperate too. I cried and felt very hopeless. But today...things that I dreaded didn't materialize. In fact what I thought was a complete failure eneded up receiving mild praise... goes to show... life always finds a way to move things forward.

Maybe we all just need to get out of the way sometimes and let life roll where it may... Somehow despite my despair I'm better off today then I was last night and all I had to do was just let events unfold. If I was a religious person, I think I'd call that "having faith".



"Foot Prints in the Sand"

We're here for you Tudorose.

The wheel will turn around... I know what it is like to feel squashed by reality and hopeless... but my experience tells me that if you can somehow survive one more day, tomorrow might have something you aren't expecting...

Heh, reminds me of a movie.

Man: Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say.

Woman: Always look on the bright side of life?

Man: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

:D

Tudorose: Right now is not your life....It is just right now.....Get all you can out of the rehab. I have been in rehabs MANY times....some days really sucked...others were better.....Do try to reach out for help....That is what your peers and counselors are there for.....

Don't forget to look at the big picture. Right now is just a small aspect of what your life is all about.....Things always get better....Some day you'll look back on this time -- and be grateful....Your pain will make you stronger.....

Thanks everyone. I seem to be going through one of those phases where everything is getting on top of me and my powers of reasoning seemed to have disappeared when it comes to self assessment. I might try and sleep today and see if that helps. Maybe it's the whole ADD/OCD/PTSD that makes it hard for me to see problems in their proportion. Everything feels like the end of the world but in my logical mind I know it's not but somehow the emotional feelings turn into physical sensations that are hard to ignore and rationalise. Hubby wants me to stay so I am glad of that. He said that he would be more worried & upset if I wasn't here and that the only thing that's going to make it better is me getting better. I wish that PTSD didn't have to take so long - I'm an impatient sod.

Me too Tudorose....I'm inpatient too....I want it to all work out NOW....to all be better NOW....I like what your husband says about his being more worried if you weren't there....and that YOUR getting better means "it" will get better....He sounds wise....:) Hang onto him.....:)

Yes PTSD is a long involved healing process for some of us....My suggestion is always keep "it" in the day (today).....Don't think about yesterday....don't worry about tomorrow.....

Yeah, I know what you mean. It just feels like they are pushing me stay in the work situation when at present I don't feel like I can. I got an e-mail saying that they would get me through this but I don't want to drugged any more than what I am for the sake of satisfying everyones statistics. It's hard enough having PTSD without that pressure as well.

Oh my gosh I know what you mean? Its like being trained in a new drafting language and you can't wait to go back to the same skill level you were at in the old drafting language, without waiting the month (or whatever learning curve the give) to learn it. Maybe that's why ADDer pick up skills on the job, faster than non ADDers... well for some of us.. ;)