Hi
I am a poor ADDer with depression. Recently I completed my Masters degree in computer science. I am a foreigner from Indian and I am now laden with a lot of credit card debt. Luckily I found a job 8 weeks ago when I was struggling to get out of Chico where I lived. This job fetched me a nice 37 dollars per hour and I worked hard to start my new life and I started paying off my credit cards. Well, I still have to pay my friend 2000 dollars because he paid for my moving expenses. In the new job in Arizona, I struggled against ADD, depression, a nagging roomie, and very different conditions. And just when I thought things were after all going to get better, I lost my job. I was fired a few days ago. I know that I had problems with inattentions, getting the job done on time. I was told that I was slow in "learning the new tool and another guy who joined 3 weeks earlier did a better job". So my world came crashing in a few minutes and here I am jobless and penniless, with not a single dollar for my credit card bills, my rent, my food, etc. My roomie pretends to be nice, but she yells at me, and scolds me severely because of my forgetful behaviour and charges me for not acting responsibly just because I have these ADD characteristics and that makes me look dull and no good. ****No, I am not asking money or anything. I am tired, I have no anti-depressants.My father from India has sent me some anti-deps, but the poor man does not know that I lost the job. They are all happy that I am finally settling down. I have not a clue as to how I can come up in life. My roomie is forever nagging me, how I am 36 years old, irresponsible, vacillating, and she is generally really nasty..I do not know what to do.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to find a job. As soon as you can afford it, move away from your nasty roomie.

Me :D


Hi
I am a poor ADDer with depression. Recently I completed my Masters degree in computer science. I am a foreigner from Indian and I am now laden with a lot of credit card debt. Luckily I found a job 8 weeks ago when I was struggling to get out of Chico where I lived. This job fetched me a nice 37 dollars per hour and I worked hard to start my new life and I started paying off my credit cards. Well, I still have to pay my friend 2000 dollars because he paid for my moving expenses. In the new job in Arizona, I struggled against ADD, depression, a nagging roomie, and very different conditions. And just when I thought things were after all going to get better, I lost my job. I was fired a few days ago. I know that I had problems with inattentions, getting the job done on time. I was told that I was slow in "learning the new tool and another guy who joined 3 weeks earlier did a better job". So my world came crashing in a few minutes and here I am jobless and penniless, with not a single dollar for my credit card bills, my rent, my food, etc. My roomie pretends to be nice, but she yells at me, and scolds me severely because of my forgetful behaviour and charges me for not acting responsibly just because I have these ADD characteristics and that makes me look dull and no good. ****No, I am not asking money or anything. I am tired, I have no anti-depressants.My father from India has sent me some anti-deps, but the poor man does not know that I lost the job. They are all happy that I am finally settling down. I have not a clue as to how I can come up in life. My roomie is forever nagging me, how I am 36 years old, irresponsible, vacillating, and she is generally really nasty..I do not know what to do.

It sounds like with your education and experience, finding a new job won't be a problem for you - good luck things will turn around

Don't give up! Things will work out for you. Just do what you know to do, like look for a new job and then a new roommate. Right now, it's all overwhelming and I'm sure that makes you even more depressed. But just take it one thing at a time and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF...you CAN do this. Hang in there!

If you have a master's degree you can teach at a college. You might start out at an entry level position that would be good for getting your feet wet. The benefits would be good too. I don't know what the pay would be. It shouldn't be too bad.
It would be a place that already works with people with ADHD.

X-Man

ilangocal, I am so sorry that things are difficult for you. I was feeling bad yesterday and I called a free suicide and crisis line. I called three times yesterday and they said that was fine. Because this is free it might be a nice choice for you. You are going through a crisis and the people at the crisis line know that an acute crisis is something that may need a lot of attention for a few days - so you can call as much as you need to.

I talked to each counselor for about one hour. It was so helpful. I called in the morning, the afternoon and late at night when I couldn't sleep. By the end of the third call I had come to feel quite a bit better than I did when I got up yesterday. I slept well. Today I felt rested (I had not slept for the previous two nights because of anxiety about my spending addiction.) I was able to think much more clearly about doing problem solving to get my addiction back under control. Here is the phone number you can call, it is a national telephone number and they will connect the call to volunteers that are in your town or a nearby town. You can call 24 hours a day - there are always volunteers available. The phone number is: 1-800-273-8255.

Maybe your library has some helpful books managing your life better when you have ADD. Also go to amazon.com and see what books they have there that look promising for helping you with your ADD. If your library does not have the books you want, they can get them for you, for free, by interlibrary loan. I just asked my library to get me the following book that I think might help me and you. ADD FRIENDLY WAYS TO ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE. The authors are Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau. I found out about it at Amazon's website. It looks like it has lots of practical ideas for functioning better.

I know your ADD is causing you problems now. You are obviously a capable person. You can learn to function better. It will take some time and some practice.

Hope you keep posting here.

Come back and tell us what you do in the next week.

thanks a lot. I appreciate your kind reply very very much. I am moved. I am replying to each of one of you kind souls who replied to my message and gave me the strength to bear my pain.
I will also pray and hope that you are able to bear the pain that you are undergoing urself. I will post regularly here

I look forward to hearing more from you. And thank you for your concern for the pain all of us go through!

I too look forward to hearing more from you. As I am so fond of saying when somone is honest about what he or she is going thru it may help somone more that it is helping the person who started the thread. and hearing that somone else is having the same pain as i am tells me once again mabe im not so alone afterall. thank you for that.

I'm sorry things are so difficult right now. Have you tried contacting the school where you graduated to see if they have services to help place former students in jobs -- some colleges and universities have those kinds of programs available.

Hang in there and take one step at a time.

Take care,
Scattered

BePractical - I apologize for not reading your whole response, but I did see the number to the suicide hotline in RED - and I THANK YOU for you providing that to Ilangocal while she/he is going through a rough time too. Just THANKS for giving that very important info and encouragement. Being depressed and AWAY from your family is bad.

Ilangocal - My heart goes out to you. I would VERY MUCH try to find some place to go to meet people to SUPPORT you during this time. There are free counseling services - LOTS - where I live in Massachusetts. I would HOPE and expect that there are in Arizona too. It's just FINDING them. You may be pleasantly surprised at the help that is out there when times get tough. Even just to have some "family" to listen to you and support you while you try to get yourself feeling better about your life and your future!

Try to scan your phone book for something. Like check out "Social Services" or "Counseling" in the Yellow Pages. Ooo - ALSO, go to your nearest Unemployment Office Right Away!!!! (Look up "Unemployment Office" or "Department of Unemployment" in your phone book.) THEY could provide you with information and where to find help - either to find another job, OR perhaps someone there could help you find other counseling, etc. Give them a try!! Give a LOT of places a try. Like I said, you may be surprised by the kindness and support that DOES exist in this country. (Again, it's just finding these places and being there at the right time.)

Do you belong to any religious group?? Sometimes (SOMEtimes) those places can be supportive. Anyway. I'm praying for you. Please keep us posted on how it's going for you.

Sincerely,
Sue