View Full Version : Major Depressive Disorder - A Bit About Me

03-14-03, 11:37 AM
I suffer with MDD, and have beeen told I will do for the rest of my life. I have been on and off meds since age 18 (now 24), and have finally settled with Efexor XR last year, which has yet to poop out on me!

I first started being treated for depression aged 18, but it was put down to executive stress, and it wasn't until 2001, with the assistance of my b/f that I was actuallt told, no it's not normal to be back in here again and again if it's circumstantial - you must have a depressive illness. Well duh? It took them four years to work it out what was up with me, and what I have is far more common and recogniseable than ADD. I pity you guys securing a diagnosis! I also had hypnotherapy and psychotherapy, both of whch were very beneficial at those times in my life.

Coming to terms with the fact that I was sick, and not just a miserable cow was a weird mixture of relief and horror. It took me ages to accept that this is who I am, and I am stuck with it, but I have learned to manage the illness day-to-day, and not let it manage me....well, most of the time, anyway! Every now and then I run out of fighting energy, and just let the beast kick me for a day or two.

Support from my b/f was very limited when I first 'came out' about my illness; he failed to understand it on any level, and had a very hard time dealing with me. He saved my life once when I was trying to kill myself, and for that I am eternally grateful. That was the turning point, and he made an extra effort after that to learn to deal with me better. We have had many ups and downs over the almost three years we have ben together, and have busted up more than once, but we're in it for the duration, as we have both finally come to realise that the things that made us row the most were our reactions to stuff and to each other, and were probably caused primarily by the mess inside our heads.

Which brings me full circle as to why I am here; I have always thought my b/f's thinking was a bit 'off-centre', and when he was put on Amitriptyline last year, we thought he had some kind of depression too, and thought we had cracked it. After much more reading etc however, I think it is far more likely that he has ADD, and that's what I'm hoping to find out from being here.

So that's me! I run a web community for depression sufferers, so if anyone has similar problems, please go and take a look.


03-26-03, 07:32 PM
I am both amazed and encouraged in those who have "issues" and still have the confidence to pursue a relationship with someone. I must say, you might be depressed, but there is still deep internal confidence!