I have a lot of days where I just can't get out of my own way, you know the usual, thinking of all the things I need to do, but just not being able to follow through. My problem is family members thinking that I'm just lazy and I should just get up off my butt and do what needs to be done. They think my ADD is a figment of my imagination and an excuse.

Does anyone else have this "laziness" problem? Every night I sit here thinking okay, tomorrow will be better and I'll do this, this and this and then tomorrow never comes. :eyebrow:

Well, yes... As doing what needs to be done typically doesn't overlap with the subset of activities that we'd consider stimulating, and as we are BA (Boredom Averse), it's quite logical that this would happen. I have a real hard time with this as well, and I'm sure that you won't be short on replies to this.

The "laziness" part of my ADD is a problem for me and is definitely something I need to improve and Im sure that many other ADDers think the same about themselves.

It makes me very frustrated when other people call me lazy.

I think that there is a difference between having AD(H)D and being lazy, and that is lazy poeple choose to be lazy and like being lazy because they like the easy "everyone else do it" life, those with AD(H)D spend their time thinking about what needs to be done, and when they dont follow through they blame themselves, people with AD(H)D don't like not being able to follow through and finish things and so they arn't lazy.

I wish there was a cure for procrastination.

I wish there was a cure too. I feel guilty because my kids are always referring to how I do nothing but sit on the couch. And on top of that I work at home and have been having the hardest time motivating myself to get in here and work. I go through spurts, have a few good weeks and then back in the same rut. I do get sooo frustrated :mad: when people make comments under their breath about how lazy I am and such, I just wish they'd understand. I have good intentions and want to do better, but their comments just knock me down again. :(

I'm in this kind of rut at the moment. I'm not working and should be doing some uni work.
The only project I'm actively doing is chasing down a diagnosis. That's slow-going and I'm not really doing much else.

I kinda expected that getting dx and medication would help with this. God help me if that's not the case :-(

Future, I was only diagnosed this past June and thought the same way as you, "Good, they know what it is, now fix it." It hasn't happended that way, but I am starting to see some positives on my medication and slowly getting my "channel switching" under control. I am convinced that not all of my ADD "problems" are going to ever go away, but "calming" some of them down and learning to cope with the others is helping. It's a slower process than I thought it would be, but it seems to be working for me. Hang in there :)

procrastination . . . . .never been accused of being lazy except by some one whose hyperactivity is untreated and much worse than mine. . . . .but I too am BA as HF mentions and I tend to put off unpleasent task until the last possible moment.

I have improved as I do not do this with every thing. I haven't had to wear the cleanest of the dirty in a while, I haven't made a payment late in a while(thanks to on-line and auto bill pay), dishes are washed while I can still see the sink, so I balanced my electronic transfers three days before the arrival of the next month. (so I am not perfect)

Being the hyper active variety of ADD probabaly helps me not appear lazy instead I just seem scattered. I do get pegged on my tendancy to procrastinate on some things I dislike doing (like looking for a job with better hours)

lol yep, i uderstand completely, this very moment i have written on a piece of paper all the tasks i must complete today, boring things that MUST be done, butt im being lazy sitting on the internet and doing things that arnt nessisarry, so yeah i have this also, i cant find the motivation or drive to do anything, i mean i sset out to do these thinks and i really want to but i just never seem to get round to it!

i also very disorganized and have often been called a scatterbrain and forgetfull, all that come with ADD, wooo lol!

i do hate it when people say im lazy, because thats the very last thing i want to be but somehow i manage to sort of become lazy without meaning too, id this making any sence? i know what im trying to say but im not sure if im typing very clearly!

~Maz

xXx

A lot of times, it's not only boredom aversion for me, but fear of getting started on something, becoming hyper-focused, losing track, and forgetting to do something important (like a doctor's appointment or picking kids up!) Even though I hate housework, if I get started, I don't stop until every single darn thing is done. And until I have the motivation and the large block of uninterrupted time to get something done, it often doesn't get done. I far prefer the chaos of undone things than the (often worse) chaos of partially done things.

I have the procrastination factor, the "OMG what if I hyperfocus?" anxiety-factor, the boredom aversion factor, and the "diagnosis chasing" syndrome (but its more directed at BDH these days) :o not to mention the "possibly ADHD toddler" factor, the "known ADHD adolescent in puberty" factor and the "Husband with Brain Damage" factor :faint:.

Add to that my own depression, anxiety, refusal to accept gender-role-typing, polyarthralgia in a humid state, degenerated discs in my neck, asthma and hormonal issues and you might assume I was, indeed, very lazy!

I assure you, I am dancing as fast as my mind and body will allow me too...sometimes ;).

Crazy :cool:

...the "OMG what if I hyperfocus?" anxiety-factor...

Meaning, the "I can't do anything as I might get too absorbed into it, and I have an appointment to go to or something else to do at a certain time, so I may as well just pace around for a few hours" anxiety-factor?

Meaning, the "I can't do anything as I might get too absorbed into it, and I have an appointment to go to or something else to do at a certain time, so I may as well just pace around for a few hours" anxiety-factor?Yes sir, that's exactly what I mean! It has actually happened to me in the past :o.

Crazy :cool:

I cant tell you how annoying it is when my family member's call me lazy. Ive been called Lazy since I began my public education. My mom has a saying that im FNL ( Fat and Lazy).

My mom has a saying that im FNL ( Fat and Lazy).

That's horrible, especially if she was serious!

I have said things like I don't remember every being intimate with Satan but it must have happened some time. . . . .

It took my daughter five minutes before a look of realization crossed her face. Then she asked if I was calling her the child from Hades (I simply pointed to my nose) but this was after having to go to juvie court every 22 of the month for four months straight I simply could think of no other explanation. However this was an isolated incidence and my alternative to going totally berserk!

Meaning, the "I can't do anything as I might get too absorbed into it, and I have an appointment to go to or something else to do at a certain time, so I may as well just pace around for a few hours" anxiety-factor?
OMG! I can so relate to that! And no one else understands how I feel, dang, I love this forum and finding others who can relate!!! :D

OMG! I can so relate to that! And no one else understands how I feel, dang, I love this forum and finding others who can relate!!! :D http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y92/kzrainbow/Ilovemyonlinefriendsblinkie.gif

Crazy :cool:

no really she is serious

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y92/kzrainbow/Ilovemyonlinefriendsblinkie.gif

Crazy :cool:
Crazy, you're the bomb!

Future, I was only diagnosed this past June and thought the same way as you, "Good, they know what it is, now fix it." It hasn't happended that way, but I am starting to see some positives on my medication and slowly getting my "channel switching" under control. I am convinced that not all of my ADD "problems" are going to ever go away, but "calming" some of them down and learning to cope with the others is helping. It's a slower process than I thought it would be, but it seems to be working for me. Hang in there :)
That is the problem with drugs: they only treat the symptoms. If you were to take a holistic approach then you might expect all the symptoms to improve. Lots of people take anti-depressants and never seen their energy level change for the better. There may be some people who have some benefit in this area from those meds but those people are the exception.

If you were to complain to your doctor about your lack of energy he probably would not have much to offer you. Being prone to fatigue is something I lived with for many years until I discovered the underlying problem. (I know the feeling when your family thinks your lazy.) It is a medical problem, but you won't really get any confirmation from mainstream medicine. Being lazy or having low energy is not something most doctors know how to treat. And sometimes those drugs can make the feeling of fatigue or low energy worse.

Does anyone else have this "laziness" problem? Every night I sit here thinking okay, tomorrow will be better and I'll do this, this and this and then tomorrow never comes. :eyebrow:

I am so glad that I am not the only one who is having a problem with this. I am always being chastised that I have "no follow through" or that I forget everything or I'm lazy. Now, last night our marriage counselor, who is also helping me with my ADD, was told that I am using my recent diagnosis as an excuse and that now I can just forget whatever I want and not do anything because I have this excuse. :mad:

It's very frustrating because I have not used anything as an excuse. If anything, we've talked about me being more aware of the extent of the problem that apparently everyone else has seen in me. Beyond that, I've been trying to learn more about the causes and effects of ADD as well as helping the symptoms.

I was supposed to have had an appointment with my regular doc by now where I was going to ask him about possible meds, but I had to change the appointment to next month because of work. I asked my psychologist last night for a recommendation on a psychiatrist since I would be adding anything new to my current cocktail of Wellbutrin XR and Lexapro and I'm going to try to make an appointment ASAP, but it sounds like what I am reading here that the procrastination may not be affected or helped by the meds.

Is that true?

I am so glad that I am not the only one who is having a problem with this.

I find it depressing. I'd be happier if someone came out and said, "oh, I used to have a problem with that, but then I got over it by doing X".

I have a lot of days where I just can't get out of my own way, you know the usual, thinking of all the things I need to do, but just not being able to follow through. My problem is family members thinking that I'm just lazy and I should just get up off my butt and do what needs to be done. They think my ADD is a figment of my imagination and an excuse.

Does anyone else have this "laziness" problem? Every night I sit here thinking okay, tomorrow will be better and I'll do this, this and this and then tomorrow never comes. :eyebrow: I have a bad case of laziness as well. Especially when it comes to chores, homework, etc. But, I try not to use ADD as an excuse for it; it's pretty much my own fault anyway :p

I can't even try to count all the days that I have spent in my pj's just watching tv and movies all day, my hair not even brushed because, I am actually procrastinating on even brushing my hair. I guess this is do to the fact that there is no H in my ADD, the only hyper part of me is my brain.

Then, there are the days where I decide to sew, crochet, or paint. I get really into it and feel really happy, then I look up at the clock and realize that five hours have gone by (whoops), so, I guess I will run errands tomorrow......:faint:

Meaning, the "I can't do anything as I might get too absorbed into it, and I have an appointment to go to or something else to do at a certain time, so I may as well just pace around for a few hours" anxiety-factor?YES! Are you my twin? :)

I find it depressing. I'd be happier if someone came out and said, "oh, I used to have a problem with that, but then I got over it by doing X".Okay I will try. This has worked for me a little. I set my cell phone alarm for the time I need to get ready to do my next thing on my list and when it goes off it jogs my memory and sometimes pulls me out of the trance. I have had SOME success with this especially at lunch when I start reading in my car and need to be back at a certain time. I used to ALWAYS lose track of time and be really late. Anyway, it doesn't always work because I forget to set my alarm a lot :rolleyes:

Crazy, you're the bomb! Thanks Bunny :) I do my best and that's all any of us can do.

That is the problem with drugs: they only treat the symptoms.Which drugs? What symptoms? I have heard that an antibiotic does not treat symptoms at all; instead it kills the organism making the individual sick. In that situation Tylenol and antihistamines might alleviate the symptoms.

The difference is that ADHD is not, in fact, ill to begin with.

I am convinced that not all of my ADD "problems" are going to ever go away, but "calming" some of them down and learning to cope with the others is helping. It's a slower process than I thought it would be, but it seems to be working for me.This is much more on the money, you GO Bunny! Now you're the bomb! Medications for ADHD are a tool only; they lend us some relief from the more impairing symptoms of what is a difference in brain functioning only. They level the playing field, so to speak, and we have little choice about the playing field as children (the school systems have been running the same way for ages). We do have choices about the playing field as adults, but we need to exert effort and find our own best methods of coping and utilising our gifts...hang on, I have a quote of my own...

I will begin with the main character, a man I will call "my own father". He was raised in the 1940's and '50's with a high degree of immigrant-motivated expectations placed upon him. As far as I know, since all information included in this part of the tale was told to me after-the-fact, he went off to college with the intention of becoming a mathematics teacher, since he was clearly gifted in mathematics and as a teacher, he would at least be able to find work with a steady paycheck teaching something that came to him naturally.

Factor in a few peripheral distractions named "my mother" and "sexual attraction" and you come to the point where my father found himself unable to finish college as a traditional student, choosing instead to marry the mother of his soon-to-be-born child, whom I will call "me" :D. He did finish college later on in non-traditional fashion but never did get his teaching certificate (as far as I know, anyway). That's probably a good thing!

Fast forward through several years, the birth of "my brother" and arrive at the point where my father took a job at Univac, after (from what I can glean from the information provided me) having a relatively hard time keeping jobs in places like "factories", "door to door sales" and such. Dad was encouraged by some nameless someone to apply at Univac simply because the nameless someone knew he had this undefinable ability to use his natural math skills in ways other people did not seem able. Nameless someone believed that father's skill might mesh quite well with the newly emerging job category called "computer programming"...and was correct in that belief with startling results.

In short, my father was very lucky, he stepped in the proverbial "poo", and found his niche, becoming very successful and remains to this day a valuable systems analyst for a well-known manufacturer of 18-wheeled trucks. He has at his disposal a staff of many, an expense account amounting to several million american dollars to buy software for the company that employs him, and enjoys a great deal of respect.

~~But I wonder...do they mind how much he twitches and squirms when required to endure long meetings? I know that he was unable at home to carry on even a simple conversation without standing up and pacing, or zoning out, or at the very least twitching and squirming.~~ I speculate that his behavior in meetings in classified as "quirky" since his input in the end is classified as "extremely valuable". I do know that when some system crashes at any time of the day or night, it is he that gets the call.


Crazy :cool:

I know this is a delayed reaction...I'm so bad about responding to these posts. I'm hardly ever here. Sorry!

But I totally understand how that feels. I get stressed out if I have a doctor's appointment. I used to do the same thing when we would have company. I would pace or look out the window. I finally quit doing that and now keep myself really busy prior to these things so that I don't get so stressed out.

Anyway, back to your point. Don't let that stuff that your family says upset you. I know that sounds easy for me to say, but I really do understand where you're coming from. And quite frankly, they don't. You can always love (or not love) certain family members at a DISTANCE. What I mean by that is that you can avoid them. If this means peace of mind, then do it. You really need to find some friends who are supportive to you, though, or a support group in real life. This is so important.

Some of the things one of my aunts (and mother) and (her daughters) my cousins used to do to me is publicly berate me in front of other people & other family members. They used to nitpick and everything I did wrong. They would question everything I did. They were very condescending to me. And then if I called them on it, they would try to pass it off as a joke & diminish my feelings by trying to make ME feel bad for their atrocious behavior. This went on for YEARS. I was always pointed out while certain family members would laugh at me. It really hurt my feelings and left me with a very low self esteem.

Well, last summer I had HAD it. A few things had changed for me. One was that my husband and I are adopting. I knew that I was not going to allow people to treat me a certain way anymore. After all, our little boy would model that behavior, and this was NOT okay with me. Another thing was that I had become less tolerant of bad family behavior and had set up more boundaries to protect myself. After all, we teach people how to treat us. They did their usual "thing" by criticizing me, henpecking every little thing I did...even down to the amount of food I had on my plate. I finally just laid into my aunt and told her to shut up & to quit raggin' on me & that I was sick of it. Later, when my cousin snapped at me over something petty like cutting the cake, I told her NOT to snap at me & let her know that it was NOT okay to talk to me like that. My husband saw how they were acting & was thoroughly disgusted with all of them. When I got home, I wrote them a letter telling them that they could treat me nice. Period. Otherwise, I never wanted to see them again. I know that sounds severe, but this is what I had to do for self-preservation. I have a right to be loved unconditionally. If they can't handle doing that, then I didn't need them in my life. Family or not.

Of course, I didn't know I had ADD then, but have been recently diagnosed. It actually helped that I did that. We have avoided each other since then, and I do NOT regret doing what I did. People need to be kind and compassionate. Sometimes they need gentle reminders that they're being horse's behinds. :)

Sincerely,
hips_n_giggles

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y92/kzrainbow/SmileyPeace3.gif

Happy to see ya again Hips! Missed ya!

Crazy :cool:

Yeah, that's my biggest bugaboo of all, I think. If I don't think I can finish it, I don't want to start it, and since everything takes longer than I think it will. . .

Crazy, I love that story about your father, it's very interesting and very inspiring. Knowing what you do about yourself and how your function with your ADD, you must be very proud that he has accomplished all that he has, I applaud him! :)

I think lack of motivation is something that we just need to overcome and push through. I don't use my ADD as an excuse, but I can see where it would come in handy. I'm finding that now that I've been officially diagnosed and started on medication, setting small goals and achieving them slowly, but surely, is one way to start feeling better about yourself. I'm self employed and making myself work for more than 10 minutes at a time is a challenge, so I started at 20 minutes as my goal and have worked up to being able to sit here for an hour. That is a major achievement in itself and it makes me feel good. Now, if I can just get in another 6-7 hours, it would be fantastic! :p

Thanks Bunny, dad is one great guy in my eyes. Of course I still roll my eyes that he keeps every last detail of his life, every tiny bit, on spreadsheets :rolleyes: but it works for him.

Of course I do worry that his system will collapse once he retires next year. Dad seems to have the Hyper form and I am none so sure at his age he will be able to manage adequate activity levels to counteract that. The good news is although he claims that he believes the ADHD gene came from him, and that it is not an issue for him at this time, he did mention he might ask for more info when he retires. Dad is almost 65 now but he is no fool ;).


Crazy :cool: (Daddy's little girl)

I can't even try to count all the days that I have spent in my pj's just watching tv and movies all day, my hair not even brushed because, I am actually procrastinating on even brushing my hair. I guess this is do to the fact that there is no H in my ADD, the only hyper part of me is my brain.

Then, there are the days where I decide to sew, crochet, or paint. I get really into it and feel really happy, then I look up at the clock and realize that five hours have gone by (whoops), so, I guess I will run errands tomorrow......:faint:

Substitute shaving for brushing and this is me all over.

Of course I do worry that his system will collapse once he retires next year. Dad seems to have the Hyper form and I am none so sure at his age he will be able to manage adequate activity levels to counteract that. The good news is although he claims that he believes the ADHD gene came from him, and that it is not an issue for him at this time, he did mention he might ask for more info when he retires. Dad is almost 65 now but he is no fool ;).


He'll definitely have to find something to substitute for work to keep him occupied. Chatting on these forums may work for him! :p

I can't even try to count all the days that I have spent in my pj's just watching tv and movies all day, my hair not even brushed because, I am actually procrastinating on even brushing my hair. I guess this is do to the fact that there is no H in my ADD, the only hyper part of me is my brain.

Then, there are the days where I decide to sew, crochet, or paint. I get really into it and feel really happy, then I look up at the clock and realize that five hours have gone by (whoops), so, I guess I will run errands tomorrow......:faint:
Oh I definitely have those days! And there are days when the kids leave for school at 8:30 a.m. and I'm still in the same spot when they come home at 4:00 p.m. That's when I feel the most guilty. "Gee mom, have you sat there all day?" Ahhhh, well, ummm.....:eyebrow:

me too bunny! isnt this place great :)

xXx