I feel relief. And anger!!

Why didnt someone pick up on this before? Why was I never asked the right questions. Dr's and psychs kept telling me I had generalized anxiety disorder and would prescribe pills that would only half work.

My 4 year old is being dianosed as ADHD (combination) plus OCD. OCD I have been disgnosed with myself. As I checked into her symptoms and researched her new diagnosis, it became PAINFULLY clear that I am suffering from ADD or I guess ADHD, the innatentive type. I have lurked here a bit and read some descriptions, and I have read some descriptions on health websites of what ADD looks like in an adult, or in a woman. I just dont understand how no health professional could have seen this. Certainly if they asked the right questions it would have been obvious! I do feel relived and hopeful.

I am going to see a psych. and hopefully get myself some meds. I just want the noise in my head to stop. I want to be able to finish something, and even more than finish, I want to be able to START something. I feel like an overwhelmed mess every day. I feel like a failure because I want to get so many things done, but I cant seem to make my self start because everything seems to much, I dont know where to begin. Anyway, I hope you dont mind me jumping in. I dont have a formal diagnosis obviously, but I sure do seem to fit in here!!

Welcome to the Forums Kayzie! :)

Try not to feel to angry and resentful about it!

There really is no benefit in wasting more of your valuable life fretting about what might have been, or how your life might had been if this hadn't occurred, or that hadn't happened!

If you get a positive diagnosis, then consider yourself lucky to have figured it out at all! It's the first step toward a much happier and more fulfilling life!

Some people suffer with ADD their entire lives and never do find out what the problem is!

At least you have a chance to make the rest of your life better than the beginning has been! Which is something to be extremely grateful for, not angry and bitter about! :)

Good luck and take care! :)

Peace! :)

Welcome to the group. :D

My 4 year old is being dianosed as ADHD (combination) plus OCD. OCD I have been disgnosed with myself. As I checked into her symptoms and researched her new diagnosis, it became PAINFULLY clear that I am suffering from ADD or I guess ADHD, the innatentive type.
This is becoming a very common occurance. It was thought that ADHD was something that kids would outgrow. Well, that's not what they are seeing now. Adults just built coping mechanisms to compensate for the symptoms.

It seems like you have a positive outlook, which is a great start. Get the formal diagnosis and develop a therapy plan with your doctor. For older people diagnosed with ADHD, medication is only a small portion of the complete plan. The medication will help slow you mind, but it won't undo the years of things you have had to endure. This is where a therapist can assist. Cognitive Behavioral therapy has been a big success for a lot of people with ADHD. Medication will not motivate. It will just help you stay ontrack, once you get started.

Good luck with your doctor appointment and please share with us your experience, if you would like.

Welcome Kayzie! Replace OCD with chronic depression/GAD, and make your child age 10, and your story is my story!

Crazy :cool:

Thank you for the welcome!!

I definitely intend to get some behavior therapy, and hopefully some meds. I have been on paxil and prozac and the like for GAD and OCD, but it never seemed to do a lot for me. I still felt overwhelmed and all over the place. Im hoping a combo of the right meds and some therapy might work. I am definitely at my wits end right now. My daughter has been a handful, plus I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old. Im so tired, and disorganized, and ready for some help coping, for both my daughter and myself...and did I mention Im tired!? :D

Oh ho well I know how tired feels! My oldest is 18 and due next month :eek:, my second is 17 and inattentive, my third is 10 and in puberty already :faint: along with her severe ADHD and my youngest is 19 months and showing signs of ADHD already...and hubby has brain damage and has not seen a doc about it since 1979!

I know what ya mean ;).

Crazy :cool:

Dont worry about it soo much, I think that a lot of people have gone through the same thing that you have. My Dad did not find out that he had ADD until I was diagnosed and he started learning about it then he said well maybe that is what is wrong with me and sure enough it was.

Oh ho well I know how tired feels! My oldest is 18 and due next month :eek:, my second is 17 and inattentive, my third is 10 and in puberty already :faint: along with her severe ADHD and my youngest is 19 months and showing signs of ADHD already...and hubby has brain damage and has not seen a doc about it since 1979!

I know what ya mean ;).

Crazy :cool:

Yeah, I definitley think you qualify for the label of tired!!!

Dont worry about it soo much, I think that a lot of people have gone through the same thing that you have. My Dad did not find out that he had ADD until I was diagnosed and he started learning about it then he said well maybe that is what is wrong with me and sure enough it was.
Im not worried about being diagnosed, Im tired, and a mess, and upset that I have wasted a lot of my life being unhappy with myself. I wish things could have been different. Im not worried. Im happy I may have found some answers:)

Im not worried about being diagnosed, Im tired, and a mess, and upset that I have wasted a lot of my life being unhappy with myself. I wish things could have been different. Im not worried. Im happy I may have found some answers:)
If only everyone had this attitude. :)

If only everyone had this attitude. :);) I have this attitude when I am not too tired to admit it.

Crazy :cool:

I spent 30 years undiagnosed, and was misdiagnosed from age 17 years and older with depression and anxiety. I KNEW I wasn't depressed, but would get the "well some people just don't realize it" answer:rolleyes: . Okay, maybe, but I am a happy, positive, glass half full kind of girl. I had a small stretch of real depression, I KNOW what that is, and I knew I wasn't depressed beyond that stretch. I do have anxiety though.

When I realized I must have ADHD, I went to a psychologist who still tried to tell me it was depression. "You certainly have attention and memory problems, but any deficit would have been picked up before now. My feelings are that you are depressed, and an anti-depressant would work well". :rolleyes: I've been on anti-depressants. They did help with my anxiety, but nothing else. They were a band-aid for me. Just covering the problem, but never healing it.

I found a doctor competent in dealing with Adult ADHD and he said I had a classic case. I started meds the next day, and can't believe how much it has changed for me.

I went through a period too, of just being angry and sad at the thought of how different life may have been for me had I been diagnosed at a younger age. I've come to realize though that being angry doesn't change anything. That not being diagnosed also took me in the path of what became my life, and I do love my life, I just like not being foggy in it:p . My struggles, the trials, the failures, they all have made me who I am today. So life may have been different with an earlier diagnosis, but I have no way of knowing if different would have meant better. It is what it is, so I'll just enjoy the relief that I get at this point.

I wont' tell you not to feel what you are feeling. By all means, go through it. It's a natural process, and you need to feel what ever it is you are feeling. Work through it, and then you can let it go.

I hope your new doc. leads you in the right direction!

Welcome to our forums :-)

Hi Kayzie, so glad you made it here!


I just dont understand how no health professional could have seen this. Certainly if they asked the right questions it would have been obvious!


Not to justify doctors' oversights, but (heh 'but' looks like justification already ...) ADD is pretty new in the collection of pictures doctors are taught to recognize and approach. You know if you're an interior decorator specializing in window treatments, with years of success and lots of happy clients, you're going to recognize dozens of different problems you can resolve with window treatments. You can look at someone on the street and know what curtains would make him happy. You know who needs custom work with imported fabrics, and you know what jobs you can do by hanging bedsheets from the Salvation Army over cheap tacked-on rods. (No joke - years ago I came home and my sister had done this in my living room, and it looked great.) Then you start hearing about some high-tech glass for windows and new ways of reducing heat/cold loss through windows, and it doesn't immediately fit what you've done so far. You go to a decorating conference, and the presention about high-tech window stuff seems to be more for the architects. Maybe you get an inquiry, so you sign up for a workshop. You're open to the idea, but it's not your foundation. You're still going to be referring to your tried-and-true approach, and looking for resources where you know you've had success. So when a customer has issues that are really only going to be solved with the high-tech/architectural approach, you might not recognize this immediately. When there's a huge heat/cold-loss issue, you'll probably try insulating heavy textiles and whatever else window pros do before you get too experimental.

(I don't mean the "window treatment" analogy as insulting to very real depression, anxiety and other things most of us have experienced and some of which can indeed be addressed by non-ADD-savvy professionals. I guess I could have used flooring or something else, but I was recently at a wedding where engineering students were talking about their windows projects and new approaches to age-old energy conservation problems and the interactions with window treatments.)

As more older doctors collect real experience treating ADD and younger ones learn about ADD, they're adding the ADD-picture to their collection. My flatmate's boyfriend is a young neurologist and VERY quickly recognized my ADD. (And this in a country where ADD in adults doesn't exist, officially.)

I spent 30 years undiagnosed, and was misdiagnosed from age 17 years and older with depression and anxiety. I KNEW I wasn't depressed, but would get the "well some people just don't realize it" answer:rolleyes: . Okay, maybe, but I am a happy, positive, glass half full kind of girl. I had a small stretch of real depression, I KNOW what that is, and I knew I wasn't depressed beyond that stretch. I do have anxiety though.

When I realized I must have ADHD, I went to a psychologist who still tried to tell me it was depression. "You certainly have attention and memory problems, but any deficit would have been picked up before now. My feelings are that you are depressed, and an anti-depressant would work well". :rolleyes: I've been on anti-depressants. They did help with my anxiety, but nothing else. They were a band-aid for me. Just covering the problem, but never healing it.

I found a doctor competent in dealing with Adult ADHD and he said I had a classic case. I started meds the next day, and can't believe how much it has changed for me.

I went through a period too, of just being angry and sad at the thought of how different life may have been for me had I been diagnosed at a younger age. I've come to realize though that being angry doesn't change anything. That not being diagnosed also took me in the path of what became my life, and I do love my life, I just like not being foggy in it:p . My struggles, the trials, the failures, they all have made me who I am today. So life may have been different with an earlier diagnosis, but I have no way of knowing if different would have meant better. It is what it is, so I'll just enjoy the relief that I get at this point.

I wont' tell you not to feel what you are feeling. By all means, go through it. It's a natural process, and you need to feel what ever it is you are feeling. Work through it, and then you can let it go.

I hope your new doc. leads you in the right direction!
You are right, I wouldnt be who I am now if anything hadve been different. Although, I think who I am now isnt as important as what I have now. I may not have my children and husband if things were different. I do think the ride to get here might have been nicer without my brain being on fire all the time:)

Welcome to our forums :-)Thank you :)

Hi Kayzie, so glad you made it here!





Not to justify doctors' oversights, but (heh 'but' looks like justification already ...) ADD is pretty new in the collection of pictures doctors are taught to recognize and approach. You know if you're an interior decorator specializing in window treatments, with years of success and lots of happy clients, you're going to recognize dozens of different problems you can resolve with window treatments. You can look at someone on the street and know what curtains would make him happy. You know who needs custom work with imported fabrics, and you know what jobs you can do by hanging bedsheets from the Salvation Army over cheap tacked-on rods. (No joke - years ago I came home and my sister had done this in my living room, and it looked great.) Then you start hearing about some high-tech glass for windows and new ways of reducing heat/cold loss through windows, and it doesn't immediately fit what you've done so far. You go to a decorating conference, and the presention about high-tech window stuff seems to be more for the architects. Maybe you get an inquiry, so you sign up for a workshop. You're open to the idea, but it's not your foundation. You're still going to be referring to your tried-and-true approach, and looking for resources where you know you've had success. So when a customer has issues that are really only going to be solved with the high-tech/architectural approach, you might not recognize this immediately. When there's a huge heat/cold-loss issue, you'll probably try insulating heavy textiles and whatever else window pros do before you get too experimental.

(I don't mean the "window treatment" analogy as insulting to very real depression, anxiety and other things most of us have experienced and some of which can indeed be addressed by non-ADD-savvy professionals. I guess I could have used flooring or something else, but I was recently at a wedding where engineering students were talking about their windows projects and new approaches to age-old energy conservation problems and the interactions with window treatments.)

As more older doctors collect real experience treating ADD and younger ones learn about ADD, they're adding the ADD-picture to their collection. My flatmate's boyfriend is a young neurologist and VERY quickly recognized my ADD. (And this in a country where ADD in adults doesn't exist, officially.)
I understand your analogy. It's a good one. Thank you

What country do you live in?

PS, I managed to go for 40 years before diagnosis :-) I *thought* I had ADHD for a good 10-15 years or so, or at least, the thought of "if ADHD was around when I was a bit younger, I'd bet your bottom dollar I had that"..... kind of thought :-)

if that makes sence! (I often add that.."if that makes sence" because I can tend to ramble a bit) LOL

makes sense! my husband has always said that he should have been diagnosed as a kid. Of course Im trying to convince him he STILL has it and should get a proper diagnosis. He has OCD as well as dysthymia, but I would bet money he has ADHD as well!

Do you suppose ADHD'ers attract other ADHDers?:confused:

I think I did pretty well in primary school, but as soon as I hit elementary school I started getting teacher reports that "she's not working up to potential" and stuff like that. I struggled through the rest of my school years and then spent the next 35 years struggling with depression and anxiety, which the doctor assured me were completely normal for someone raising a child. Yeah, that explained everything... bah.

When I was 52 someone suggested my granddaughter might have ADD, and like you, reading through the lists of signals and symptoms I found myself agreeing with over 90% of them. I was actually very happy and relieved to finally know there was a reason I had struggled and been so unhappy for most of my life. I'm doing so much better now, and learning how to help both myself and my granddaughter.

However, in my reading I also learned that it's very common to feel all the normal stages when you are first diagnosed... disbelief, anger, sadness, acceptance... dang what is the fifth stage?

Do you suppose ADHD'ers attract other ADHDers?:confused:
This has been a common question on the forums and it is very possibly true. My psychiatrist believes this too.

Think about it. Who else would be better to understand and be able to relate? :D

This has been a common question on the forums and it is very possibly true. My psychiatrist believes this too.

Think about it. Who else would be better to understand and be able to relate? :D
I love your signature line! Did a teacher ACTUALLY write that??

I think I did pretty well in primary school, but as soon as I hit elementary school I started getting teacher reports that "she's not working up to potential" and stuff like that. I struggled through the rest of my school years and then spent the next 35 years struggling with depression and anxiety, which the doctor assured me were completely normal for someone raising a child. Yeah, that explained everything... bah.

When I was 52 someone suggested my granddaughter might have ADD, and like you, reading through the lists of signals and symptoms I found myself agreeing with over 90% of them. I was actually very happy and relieved to finally know there was a reason I had struggled and been so unhappy for most of my life. I'm doing so much better now, and learning how to help both myself and my granddaughter.

However, in my reading I also learned that it's very common to feel all the normal stages when you are first diagnosed... disbelief, anger, sadness, acceptance... dang what is the fifth stage?
Thank you for the reassurance!! I somehow feel like I am at two stages! I acccept this. I think it is absolutely wonderful that I have a reason for being and overwhelemed, scatterbrained mess, who cant watch a whole movie without stopping it 40 times to ask my husband what happened,however I am still a little peeved that it wasnt caught sooner.

You are right, I wouldn't be who I am now if anything hadve been different. Although, I think who I am now isnt as important as what I have now. I may not have my children and husband if things were different. I do think the ride to get here might have been nicer without my brain being on fire all the time:)
Right, that's how I feel too. I'm not sure I would have met my husband, and had my kids, had I not gone the direction I ended up going, which was out of my plans, and because of my ADHD. I do think life would have been easier, and I think it would have spared the strong self esteem that I had as a child, but lost some where along the lines. It's still sad to me to think about, but boy it sure does feel great when you finally get the relief from it all:D . Wishing you lots of luck :).

I love your signature line! Did a teacher ACTUALLY write that??
Yep. :eek: I didn't realize it until I was diagnosed at 33 years old and went through a bunch of my old report cards. I'm actually glad she wrote that in the comments section. It's evidence that helps support the diagnosis. If you have access to your old report cards, it may help your doctor. You may also get a good laugh. :D

Yep. :eek: I didn't realize it until I was diagnosed at 33 years old and went through a bunch of my old report cards. I'm actually glad she wrote that in the comments section. It's evidence that helps support the diagnosis. If you have access to your old report cards, it may help your doctor. You may also get a good laugh. :DI agree Timh! My report cards were full of comments like yours which really helped make a proper diagnoses of ADHD! :)

One report card even says that I made up excuses for not doing my homework such as "The dog ate my homework!" LOL :D That one actually still irritates me though because believe it or not, my dog did eat my homework that time! LOL :D

Honestly, I probably wouldn't believe a dog ate some kids homework either! But I was telling the truth when I told the teacher that! I can even still see my dog chewing on my homework in my minds eye today! LOL :D

Oh well, Cest Le' Vie! :)

I was just diagnosed after going through some testing and I felt the EXACT same way when I heard the results. I also had IQ testing apparently during the exam and since I was a child I have always scored really high on those. Apparently I still do. The psychologist told me exactly, "All your teachers were right, you are more intelligent than most people."

Sounds great right? Not when you have spent 27 years in "the fog." I felt like such a waste. I never finished college, don't make enough money, can't manage my money, etc. I started to wonder what might have happened had someone figured this out 10 or 15 years ago. Maybe I would have been able to use this grand intelligence for something useful and I could be much further than I am today. Old resentments for the lack of support my parents gave me in just chocking it up to me being an exceptionally bright child with no sense of responsibility, organization, with a behavior problem. Might my life be better now???

But, I guess everyone else is right. I can't waste any more time blaming and resenting, wondering what might have been. At least I finally know and am still young enough to change my own course.

Good luck :)

I was just diagnosed after going through some testing and I felt the EXACT same way when I heard the results. I also had IQ testing apparently during the exam and since I was a child I have always scored really high on those. Apparently I still do. The psychologist told me exactly, "All your teachers were right, you are more intelligent than most people."

Sounds great right? Not when you have spent 27 years in "the fog." I felt like such a waste. I never finished college, don't make enough money, can't manage my money, etc. I started to wonder what might have happened had someone figured this out 10 or 15 years ago. Maybe I would have been able to use this grand intelligence for something useful and I could be much further than I am today. Old resentments for the lack of support my parents gave me in just chocking it up to me being an exceptionally bright child with no sense of responsibility, organization, with a behavior problem. Might my life be better now???

But, I guess everyone else is right. I can't waste any more time blaming and resenting, wondering what might have been. At least I finally know and am still young enough to change my own course.

Good luck :)
Yes! I too score high on IQ tests. In my heart I know I am intelligent, but being so disorganized, scatterbrained, and unable to complete anything makes me feel like an utter failure. People who are intelligent should be able to hold down jobs, make relationships work, organize their home and their lives, etc...SO WHY CANT I?? Now I know why and it is aggrivating that I have lost so much time and self esteem! As I have posted, Im not particularily happy about what I have lost, but I am relieved to be able to do something about it now.

Good luck to you as well!!:)

welcome kayzie. i got my dx after my then 3rd grader was diagnosed. i was 41.... all my life i could not understand why it was:"she's so intelligent, if she would just apply herself; not be so lazy." oh yes. i heard about how lazy i was forever.

luckily, there were some people around me who were convinced i was smart and productive and would achieve. (notably my husband... shhh!)

my grandfather, who had never heard of ADD, once told my mother when i was about 5 that i just could not pay attention, no matter how hard i tried. so, at least she knew i wasn't just lazy.....that helped.

so anyway, welcome to the forums, and try not to worry about what could have been, concentrate on the wonderful you it is never too late to become.....

my grandfather, who had never heard of ADD, once told my mother when i was about 5 that i just could not pay attention, no matter how hard i tried. so, at least she knew i wasn't just lazy.....that helped.


Sounds like your grandfather was one smart guy!

thanks for the welcome!

I went 50 years without knowing what bwas different about me. My biggest regret after finding out is that a diagnosis may have made my marriage a better place:( , but I've made a lot of progress and I'm coming out of this feeling much better about myself:) .

Welcome to ADDforums Kayzie

I went 50 years without knowing what bwas different about me. My biggest regret after finding out is that a diagnosis may have made my marriage a better place:( , but I've made a lot of progress and I'm coming out of this feeling much better about myself:) .

Welcome to ADDforums Kayzie
thank you!!

I wonder myself what would have happened with my first marriage if I hadve had a proper diagnosis. On the other hand I wouldnt have my husband and three kids if I hadve stayed in my first marriage. I guess things work themselves out no matter what. Im glad you are feeling better about you :)