:confused: im completely bewheeldered as to how im ment to get people to take me seriously:

*friends
*family
*boyfriend

i mention that it might be a possibility that i may be suffering with ADD( which may i add i most deffinately am having researched it the past month)and they brush it off, like 'oh here she goes again something else wrong with her' type attitude!

I've even e-mailed the diagnostic phychological criteria for ADD and under each heading written in depth descriptions to how they match my personality,how much more clearer can i make it?????:mad: but their reply was ' don't be so silly there is nothing wrong with you, you would know if you had ADD' lol yes i do know,why won't you accept it?

its like no one wants to admit the possibility that i may be suffering with this incase it damages their ego....i think they all assosiate it with being mentally handicapped or retarded or something?basically they seem to be too ignorant to know enough about it so they just go the easy route and so 'no dont be silly' this angers me as when i try to educate them that this is REAL and i am REALLY suffering from it and its not MADEUP they seem to take it like a child is talking to them about a stone they found at school today!ignoring what im saying, nod their head and carry on what they were previously doing, its asif i am totally invisible! so what is the point of me even being there if no one is to listen?:confused:

what am i to do? seriously i am rather wound up!

~Maz

I've even e-mailed the diagnostic phychological criteria for ADD and under each heading written in depth descriptions to how they match my personality,how much more clearer can i make it?????

You can't . . . remember members of your family may also have ADD therefore may not have the attention span to read any thing lengthy.


You are at an age where you can seek treatment on your own behalf, so their inability to accept this should in no way interfere with your ability to manage it.

Frankly when people do not want to hear what I have to say I simply quit discussing the issue with them. I can't force any one to listen to me nor can I make them take me seriously therefore once the attempt has been made their intention become evident my path has become clear.

I would seek treatment without further time and energy wasted trying to explain things to people who have no desire to understand. Trying to get them to understand, (as it is apparent by your post they do not wish to), is along the same lines as beating your head against a brick wall.

I would not bother trying any more, I would blow it off and seek my own solutions. This sounds cruel, I am sure; however, this approach allows me to use my time and energies more productively.

Good luck, I wish I had a more pleasent solution.

I agree with Tamms (thanks Sis! You musta got your meds in ya earlier than I did today, with or without donut stix).

Many members of my family do like yours do Maz. I don't try with them anymore. Life is too short to try to reach everybody anyway. I reach those that are willing to listen, try hard to determine how long and how much they are able to hear, and then move right along with what I need to do for myself and my family (means BDH and kids only).

Methinks it is time for the Bull analogy once more! :D

Trying to change another person is like trying to teach a bull to sing. It does not work and in the process you are bound to frustrate yourself and the bull! It is better to assign a bull its proper "pen" than to try to teach it to sing ;).

Crazy :cool:

My family still does not take my ADD seriously either.

I remember, before being officially diagnozed, my own PsyD (psychologist) cousin told me "Don't be silly, there is nothing wrong with you!" That same day, we were moving out of a house my other cousin (psychologist's sister) and I were sharing. I was so overwhelmed with what I had to do to get my stuff out, that I asked her to TELL ME. I was willing to do all the work, but needed someone to tell what to do sequentially.

My close relatives don't talk about ADD with me; they have not asked me how it feels, how it affects me, etc. I suffer from anxiety as well and my mother made fun of me one day because I was having problems breathing. Another day, I was having the same problem and my sister noticed and said "Oh, now you can't breath either?"

If I were to do this all over, I would not tell my family.

Lots of times, they don't want to hear it because it's scary. Try telling someone you're depressed or found a lump or might lose your job. . .anything like that, you'll get the same kind of reaction. No, everything's OK, it's just your imagination, things can't be that bad, etc. You know what, don't make it an issue, just take care of yourself. You know what's up, you know what you need to do, if they don't want to deal with it then they're just going to muck up your path to dealing with it successfully. Don't even bother saying anything except in the most casual of ways, if that. I've dealt with plenty of people who think that ADD is a myth, that ADD is just an excuse for misplacing and forgetting things, that if you say you have it you're just looking for sympathy or excuses. The heck with them. One of these days you'll have things a bit more together, they'll notice you're happier, and if they ask, then you might feel like mentioning that you've learned to embrace your ADD.

I suffer from anxiety as well and my mother made fun of me one day because I was having problems breathing. Another day, I was having the same problem and my sister noticed and said "Oh, now you can't breath either?"

Wow I am sorry this happened to you, this is sad treatment for any one to have to deal with.

My family has many short comings I will have to admit this behavior is not among them. When I read things like this I feel very fortunate to have the family I have. I guess being from a medical family helped more than I realized! (I am a third generation nurse)


My mother was the first person to mention the possibility of me having ADD. She handed me a very short book simply titled "Adult ADD", I wasn't able to get past page three until after I began treatment but carrying the book around got noticed by another nurse who happened to know a good ADD doctor, in Midland, been with him sense. (1993)

I have a sister, daughter and most recently a nephew become members here. Some times I get toooooo caught up focusing on what I don't have, after reading this I am grateful for the things I do. I have family where a majority are ADD we are accepting of each others imperfections. Want to share my family with me? We tend to collect ADDers? Already adopted one sister here; the more the merrier!

:D Adoptee reporting! New additions are always welcome!

Crazy :cool:

Wow I am sorry this happened to you, this is sad treatment for any one to have to deal with...Want to share my family with me? We tend to collect ADDers? Already adopted one sister here; the more the merrier!
Thanks so much!

Actually my mother is definitely ADD, but won't admit it to herself. If she did, it would be easier for me to deal with how she constantly and abruptly changes the topic when I'm talking to her (or even when she is talking to me!). I keep the talk to a minimum...it is getting worse as she gets old. I don't think she can be helped with ADD at age 76. Can she? Great topic for a new thread!

It is interesting how I have trouble handling ADD behavior in other people. I must admit that when mother talks to me, I am unable to keep my attention. She thinks outloud (no planning) and her syntax is messed up, as well as her choice of words. The subjects she talks about bore me to death and, besides, there is ALWAYS a radio or TV in the background - this drives me crazy!

I think mother feels guilty about passing the "bad" genes...

1) Why do you want their stamp of approval/agreement? They're not doctors and they're not you.

2) In my case, everyone was pretty ready to admit there was something wrong with me. It's like everyone realized before me. Once someone actually pulled out a medical dictionary and read over the definition of "hyperactive" with me. I should have listened to him instead of getting offended and wasting the next several years.

I don't think many of my family members took my ADD serious until all the kids started being diagnosed with ADD! LOL :D

Then I became the family expert on ADD and they all started turning to me for more information about ADD! hehe :D

This just recently started happening to me!

Unfortunately, most people either don't care, or they just don't have the time to listen to other people go on about all of their problems and issues unless it effects them directly!

When it starts effecting them directly then they are more then willing to listen and learn, or offer encouragement and emotional support!

However until then, we are most often on our own!

Good luck and hang in there! :)

Thank you everyone for your words and help! iv made an appointment with the doc and im on track with it all, looking after myself, i just feel a bit alone i guess, im 18 and i just wanted someone to understand me,the people close to me to know why i act the way i do, but owell i won't try explaining it to them anymore unless they are interested! ill just get on and do what ever the doc says is best for me!
thank you for encouraging this everyone!

im so sorry to hear that snappy cloud people sometimes don't realize how their actions can effect others!

" Wen it starts effecting them directly then they are more then willing to listen and learn, or offer encouragement and emotional support!"

Its funny you should say that! My ADD effects my mum as she has obviouse simptoms not to mention shes like my twin,along with variouse other traits we share as you can imagine living together is a bit of a struggle, neither of us are medicated.So It really effects US as a family unit! Im hoping when i get the tests through and medicated and start getting better she can see that actually gettting help isnt all that bad and she will do the same.

All the problems i have with anyone close is often something to do with my ADD, being forgetfull of important things is one of them,or being messy, or just simple things liek not being able to focus on what someone is saying,things that i cannot help, soo it does effect us all directly in that way!

they dont think anything of shouting at me or causing an argument as a result of these things (fair enough, they don't understand i proberly would too) but when i try to explain to them why i do these things......you know the story!

Anyway there is nothing i can do about their views so i'll just get on with my own life and do the best for me!

OH and crazy feet, your very right, life IS tooo short! thank you for reminding me i got a little too wrapped up in trying to get everyone to understand me......what matters is getting help!Thank you!

Thanks again everyone
i hope you all have nice days :)
~Maz xXx

I don't think many of my family members took my ADD serious until all the kids started being diagnosed with ADD! LOL :D ...Then I became the family expert on ADD and they all started turning to me for more information about ADD! hehe :D...When it starts effecting them directly then they are more then willing to listen and learn, or offer encouragement and emotional support! :)Good point, Seek.

As a matter of fact, the sister who told me "Ohh, now you cannot breathe either!" noticed that her 5 year old has the "attention span of a fly" recently asked me about books on ADHD. When I offered to lend her my Delivered from Distraction, she refused it because she wants to learn specifically about ADHD in children - still not interested in ME! She is clueless, as manifested by her statement that she did not understand how a stimulant is given, when the goal is to slow the kid down!

Another poster asked why we need other's approval or something to that effect. Now that I make the mistake of telling my family, their understanding will help me if they could see a reason for my peculiriaties and - this is the utopian part - accomodate my needs a little bit. For example, they know I cannot handle loud volume or multiple people talking at the same time, or being talked to right after getting out of bed or while the TV is on - they don't even consider that!

Cheers.

banana we taske you as you are if others dont then there lose not yours be happy with who you are dorm;.)))

Another poster asked why we need other's approval or something to that effect. Now that I make the mistake of telling my family, their understanding will help me if they could see a reason for my peculiriaties and - this is the utopian part - accomodate my needs a little bit. For example, they know I cannot handle loud volume or multiple people talking at the same time, or being talked to right after getting out of bed or while the TV is on - they don't even consider that!

thank you snappy cloud youve answered it perfectly, this is why i would just like a little understanding! that way things and life would be alot easier! neverminde!

Thank you dorm, what a lovely thing to say :) thats made my day!

Wow can I relate to this thread!

My family doesnt know about my daughters ADHD/OCD or the fact that I am positive I will be getting the same diagnosis soon. I have suffered through (and been diagnosed with) depression, GAD, OCD and panic disorder my whole life. My family made fun of me.

My mother so very obviously has ADHD and OCD but refuses help and refuses to believe anything is wrong with her. When I tell her something about myself I am being a hypochondriac. She needs constant reassurance about her health yet ridicules me when I mention mine. She has a gambling addiction. She is unbelievably irritable to the point that most people will not put up with her. We havent spoken in 11 months. Frankly I am happier for it. There is no way I would even bother telling her what is going on with myself and my daughter. What would be the point? She wont listen, she wont believe me if she does listen, and she definitely wont seek help for herself.

Im 30 years old, married and have three kids. I dont need my family's approval to seek a proper diagnosis. I dont need their approval to take meds and seek therapy. It just isnt worth it. I suspect you should just stop trying to get people to take this seriously altogether. It will be less stress on you. I know that probably isnt the solution you are looking for. We want to share our lives with family and friends, and you should do so, but I would suggest keeping this aspect of your life to yourself. At the very least until you get an official diagnosis.

There are people here all the time who will understand you and listen to your concerns and stories about life with ADHD and any other condition you may be diagnosed with. Take advantage of it and avoid the subject of your own health with your family and friends. It will often leave you more upset.

Another poster asked why we need other's approval or something to that effect. Now that I make the mistake of telling my family, their understanding will help me if they could see a reason for my peculiriaties and - this is the utopian part - accomodate my needs a little bit. For example, they know I cannot handle loud volume or multiple people talking at the same time, or being talked to right after getting out of bed or while the TV is on - they don't even consider that!
thank you snappy cloud youve answered it perfectly, this is why i would just like a little understanding! that way things and life would be alot easier! neverminde!Awww, Maz we likely won't never mind because we care ;) and we understand. And it may be easier for me to spout my advice like I do because I am over twice your age and time is running out for me. The shoe is squarely on my foot now, aye?

I am certain my father has ADHD, my mum is questionable because it is certain she has major depressions. I am 700 miles away from the both of them and among a culture I don't understand and for the most part dislike intensely.

Its all about my kids now, and me, and BDH when he is not peeving me (I happen to be peeved this morning, I am supposed to understand he cannot help the way he is but I am human too!) and I can relate very much to looking at someone else and thinking "Well, there's nerve for ya! You get to be the way you are, and ignore how I am, how handy for you!" :rolleyes:.

So are we adopting you or not? :D

Crazy :cool: