One of the things I've always felt was a personal failing in myself is starting to seem more like an ADD thing, so I wanted to throw this one out.

When I get angry or am forced into a confrontation, it's really difficult to hold my own in any kind of a debate because I begin to cry instead of communicate. It's infuriating, because not only does it prevent me from getting my point across - and I always do have one, a valid one at that - but it also diminishes my credibility with whomever is involved or witness to the episode. I wish I could stop it! I've had people tut-tut and say "Oh, it's OK, I cry all the time, too", but it's not like that. It's more like a panic attack. The me that's trapped inside the crying body is screaming out because I know I'm not stupid, I know I'm right about whatever it is, but I can't stop the body from bawling like a baby. I do hope I'm not alone on this one. . .

Faylen;

Your comments touch on two issues that we face when coping with our ADHD.

First of all, anxiety can be a big issue for some of us. In fact, anxiety disorder is extremely common in persons with adhd. It can be tough to deal with.

Secondly, we have processing defecits. We can be a little slow when we are faced with too much information all at once. It's pretty hard to focus on the issues when the harder we try to focus , the harder it gets to focus.... Even to the point where we are litteraly in a "locked-up" state and can't communicate further. This is the basis for overload. If the condition persists we feel stress, and anxiety increases greatly. For some people it can end up in an emotional meltdown of spectacular proportions. :eek: :faint:

Many times the debate has ended and I'm still trying to process exactly what is going on... I find it frustrating. Myself, when oveloaded I tend to get stressed and it can be quite unpleasant i fthe oveload continues. But, in conversdation, trypically , the overload is brief, and I simply lock up and don't get the last word in hardly ever... I'm not likey to win any debates. :)

Myself, what I have learned is that I need to manage anxiety. For some people this will require medications.. for others perhaps cognitive therapy.. and still others manage to work through it once they are aware of the nature of the problem. It varies a lot from individual to individual. :p

For the attention problems, medication is the only hope for improvement there... for me, my processing problems seem to be part of my neurology, so I have to work around it as best I can. Medication helps , but it is no cure by a long shot. ;)


ME :D

I often avoid talking about difficult things with people inperson because I know from past expierience that even though I have somtihng important to say I get emotional and start to cry. All the thoughts and things i want to say flood me at once and I can't get it out so I just break down. I think it has comthing to do the fact that most of the time I don't notice when things are really hurting me when they happen and so later on is when things come tot he surface.

First of all, anxiety can be a big issue for some of us. In fact, anxiety disorder is extremely common in persons with adhd. It can be tough to deal with.

Secondly, we have processing defecits. We can be a little slow when we are faced with too much information all at once. It's pretty hard to focus on the issues when the harder we try to focus , the harder it gets to focus.... Even to the point where we are litteraly in a "locked-up" state and can't communicate further. This is the basis for overload. If the condition persists we feel stress, and anxiety increases greatly. For some people it can end up in an emotional meltdown of spectacular proportions. :eek: :faint:

Many times the debate has ended and I'm still trying to process exactly what is going on... I find it frustrating. Myself, when oveloaded I tend to get stressed and it can be quite unpleasant i fthe oveload continues. But, in conversdation, trypically , the overload is brief, and I simply lock up and don't get the last word in hardly ever... I'm not likey to win any debates. :)


I agree with speedo. First of all, I avoid confrontation like the plague. I used to think that it was all fear and anxiety (of which I certainly have aplenty :o ), but I am thinking now that some of it stems from the fact that I am so bad at it that I am never able to get my point properly across and I always feel like I am the loser in the battle because of this. Especially when the confrontation turns from a rational disagreement to one where emotions rule and reality tends to be skewed. When that happens, I find my brain also "locking up" trying to process what is really going on in the face of what is actually being said. When I take a moment to catch a breath and think things out before I say anything again, I then often start to over analyze and have a very hard time making sense of what I am trying to say, even to myself.

It is very frustrating, to say the least.

Best thing I ever learned about confrontion came from Al-anon. It takes 2 people to fight. Once a fight becomes irrational or a screaming match, I try my hardest to walk away. If I can't I just repeat my point over and over, and focus on not getting side tracked. Now I can handle confrontations really well. Still get emotionally overloaded at times but if the above doesn't work, going for a smoothie does :)

When I get angry or am forced into a confrontation, it's really difficult to hold my own in any kind of a debate because I begin to cry instead of communicate

I did this when I was younger, and before I began treating my ADD. Some times if I am put on the spot I can began to feel the anxiety but it is much more controllable now. I try to use the energy in increase focus and think,

When being suddenly questioned or confronted I make my self say in my head “Stop and think Tammy” for some reason making my self stop and literally think those words clearly seems to work 95% of the time. I am able to slow down the emotional onslaught which improves my ability to the point I have actually won some of those debates or arguments.

One day about three weeks ago I had a supervisor decide she was going to scream and be an as*, I stopped and listened when I felt the emotions whelming I used technique above and I was able to stand my ground in real time. She wanted me to fill in some paper work blanks about patients conditions. I had already checked my calendar to see if I was even working that day. . . . .I wasn’t even in the state. . . I told her why I could not fill out the papers

she said “Well you have to explain that to the DON,”

I shot back “If I have to explain that to the DON then I can’t help either one of you I can’t write on a patients condition in Texas on a day I was in Florida this is simple common sense.”

She went on with how important it was to have this paper work done by the next day bla bla bla”

The argument was obviously born out of frustration and non-scene any way. Inside my mind I had already decided I would quite before falsifying any thing. My logic being jobs are easier than licenses to replace

My final statement was “I am not falsifying any thing for any one for any reason, even if that means loosing this job. You are asking me to lie which I refuse to do. If I was willing to lie for you what would stop me from lying to you?”

I heard her mouth snap shut, end of argument.

I was really willing to quit before lying, that was no bluff. I don’t think in her frustration the supervisor realized the ramifications of what she was asking me to do. Some one jumped her butt and mine happened to be the next one she saw so she was reacting illogically.

I used to do just like you described; fifteen years ago I would have cried . . .I do not know if the improvement is due medication, or maturity perhaps a bit of both.

My point is: you are by no means stuck beyond all hope. If I can improve any one can!

Most of the time, when it's a single issue and I know I'm right, I can hold my own. It's when one more thing goes wrong on a bad day, or a problem was caused because I didn't stick up for myself before it became a problem. It's really the emotional overload. One thing at a time, and I have the upper hand in any argument. (Send me in to return defective merchandise, and I walk out with a full refund >and< a gift certificate for a future purchase - one simple thing and I can charm the socks off anyone!) But, say it reminds me of another time when I didn't stick up for myself, or it's the third or fourth thing that went wrong that day, and my mind gets caught up in a cavalcade of personal failing. I'm just glad to hear from even one or two other ADDers who have the same problem so I don't feel even worse about it!

Yep - Emotional overload here...

Most of the time I'm OK. As was said previously, if I know I'm right I can go toe to toe with anyone.

My weakness is when I start second guessing or doubting myself. When that happens, I can feel my control (and logic) slipping through my fingers without a quick way to get it back. My wife is the master at recognizing when I reach that point and getting me out of it.

I also avoid emotionally charged environments like the plague. I can tell when people have been arguing just by walking in the room. Therefore, if I'm in a situation and the emotion starts escalating I either move up the chain of command or get out of there.

I've found that it's an ADD thing for a lot of people. Two of my three kids are ADD and both get emotional overload. The circumstances aren't quite the same, but they do overload just like their old man. Once again, my wife is the one who had to point that out to me.

David

Please tell me how to handle this emotional overload with someone that has ADHD.

Ask them, I'd say.

I've learned that I really just need to be alone, have a good cry, deeply enjoy a little self-pity, and then I feel much better. But that's me, and my husband and kids know that's how it works for me, and everything's fine afterwards.

Thank you for this thread!!! The last couple days I've been in emotional overload. Just about everything was getting me all teary eyed. Some friends were nice to me *emotional but grateful wreck* The toilet paper ran out *OMG The world is ending!!* I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who goes through this every once in a while.