So ~ it's been really hot lately across most of the U.S. and Canada, hot enough to bake cookies on the dashboard of your car or SUV according to some news reports. And, sadly, we're hearing about children being forgotten and left in their car seats in vehicles with the doors locked and the windows closed ... and they're dying.

Now I for one can think a number of reasons someone might forget that they didn't get the child out of the car, from being distracted by the cell phone to forgetting whether it was even your day to drop the kids off at day care. I don't think any of those things are excuses for forgetting and endangering a child, but I can understand being so stressed and busy and overwhelmed that it can happen, especially when the child has fallen asleep and isn't making any noise or movement at all.

I once put my granddaughter into her car seat and turned back to pick up the diaper bag or check on the dog or do something and completely forgot to buckle her into the car seat. Four blocks later I turned onto the highway and began to pick up speed. When I glanced into the rear view mirror to look at the traffic behind me I was so shocked to see my 6 month old granddaughter standing up in her car seat and looking into the mirror back at me! :eek: I am eternally grateful that I was able to pull over to the side of the road and get her buckled into her car seat without anything awful happening such as being in a car crash and her flying through the car and hitting the windshield.

A few years later I got both granddaughters into the car and made sure they were both buckled in, drove across the city and had to make a very sudden stop at a traffic light when someone at the head of the line of vehicles ahead of me made a last minute decision to stop instead of coast on through the light. Fortunately I didn't hit the car ahead of me and the car behind me didn't hit me. But it sure scared the children and it scared me so I pulled over into a parking lot to make sure they were fine and to talk to them about the importance of being buckled in and not distracting the driver. To my horror the 2 year old was squished between her car seat and the back of the driver's seat. :eek: I had moved the car seat from one car to another one earlier and had forgotten to buckle the seat into the car, although I certainly remembered to buckle the baby into the car seat. :rolleyes:

So, I can definately understand how a parent can make such a horrible mistake as forgetting something to do with their child. But I was talking to some other people who simply cannot understand how anyone could ever forget and leave their child unattended ~ anytime or anyplace. I was curious to get some opinions on a different forum, so how about it? How do you feel about forgetting a child in the backseat of a vehicle - anytime of the year?

Lunacie, where I live, it, unfortunately happens often. In a matter of minutes the interior of a vehicle can rise to a dangerous level. It is sad to think that it can happen, but caretakers, parents do forget, they don't mean to. The child is sleeping and they don't want to disturb them, or they take care of the older children coming back from an errand and get distracted, or hyperfocused, sometimes it's just a "quick in and out" and it's too late. Sometimes they are simply forgotten back there if we are out of our regular routine, like if dad usually has them at that time. These have all happened here, and pets die here all the time in cars. It's so sad. We don't intend on it happening. It is something I think should be forgiveable, to me it is totally understandable even though I've never experienced it personally. I'm sure the parents and caregivers have enough internal punishment any time something bad happens thier children. Charges are hardly ever pressed.

Children dying due to being left in a car is a sad thing indeed. I wasn’t diagnosis until my children were much older however they made themselves very hard to forget! I forgot my purse the diaper bag, and even money but children no sorry mine were just too noticeable to let that happen despite my ADD! Maybe my children being active and noisy is some sort of advantage geneticially because they didn't allow them selves to be forgotten.

Thanks for the responses. I have never left a child alone while I ran an errand, and I haven't forgotten them because they were sleeping, but I have left the kids in the car while I ducked back into the house to get some item I had forgotten. I know that even doing that is risky because I could fall and break something and have a hard time getting back to the car, or fall and knock myself unconscious. But I certainly never wanted to live my life as though I have to do everything in my power to prevent any possible misfortune. That would be much to exhausting and I would never go any place.

I'm used to kids who fall asleep in the back seat, I didn't realize there are children who have never done that. That could account for the attitude I've been seeing of "Oh, but I would never ever ever forget and leave my child in the car." If the child is awake and making noise, then it would take an extraordinary amount of distraction to forget them.

I could see it being difficult to make the choice of whether to carry the groceries in first - leaving the child in the car for a minute or two... or whether to take the child into the house or apartment and leave them there for a minute or two while getting the groceries out of the car. I've never lived in a 3rd floor walkup where such a choice was a really serious concern, only in apartments or houses where I could carry the groceries a few steps to the door and then go back for the child.

Lunacie, this made me think, as parents, if we are diligent enough, and don't make a concious choice to drown our spawn in the bathtub, we are doing OK. Things happen. Something could happen while you were away from your children, as could it while you were with them. When people say they would NEVER leave an older responsible child in the home EVER, while running a quick errand. (We have to let them go gradually, and start with short periods) What if the parent were in a car accident, (or mugged, or had a stroke or whatever) while the child was home alone? My retort is, "well, I guess it would be very fortunate he wasn't with me then." An older child would know when and how to call for help if you didn't return in a few minutes. He would also know when and how to call for help if something happened if you were there at home and something happened. Bad things happen whether we are with our loved ones or not.

Back to the topic: My brother-in-law was left behind on family vacation. 5 kids. They came back hours later and found him sitting under the tree in the front yard. Yeah, it happens.

Lunacie, I have never left them in a car, but I have forgotton to get them from school/kindy a LOT!
I withdrew my eldest from the early school year, when she was about 4 because I kept forgetting her, and the teacher would call me, and say "Tracy, are you coming to get your daughter today?"
LOL..it was terribly embarrasing

Same here Trace; I have done that so many times!

C~F :cool:

When people say they would NEVER leave an older responsible child in the home EVER, while running a quick errand

I believed because the original post was about children being left alone in a car and dying due to heat we were discussing children who were too young to be able to get out of a car by them selves. By the time a child is old enough to be left alone at home I would think that they would certainly be old enough to got out of a 150 degree car sitting in the sun.

I have forgotten which kid I left where, and have had to call around and find out. When my daughters were young their Dad and I tagged teamed. In other words one of us went to the store ran errands ect. . . while the other stayed with the children usually at home. My oldest was a good kid and could go just about any where however the twins were a totally different story taking them into a grocery store was a major undertaking.

I remember once their Dad complained I had the easy task of staying home with the kids while he went to the store, so we switched task he stayed home while I shopped for groceries. He found out being the stay at home parent was not the easy job when one is talking toddlers who can climb cribs / play pens in a single leap. When I came back from the store I found my two small children attached by a rope. . .I even have a picture of this. I asked my DH if he was out of his mind attaching my two daughters by tying a rope about the waist of both. . .(they weren't being harmed by this but they weren't happy either) . . . .His response was they kept going in two different directions and getting into stuff . . . . .duh twins . . . . . .needless to say he was more than willing to let me stay home with the kids while he went grocery shopping / run errands.

When I was a kid, my father did occasionally forget and leave me behind after little league baseball games. Now mind you, he managed to drive to the ballpark for my game, sit for two hours while watching me play baseball, talking to other parents about me and about kids in general, and still manage to forget to bring me home with him.

Fortunately, being ADD myself, I never really noticed and always thought it was cool that I got to ride home with my teammates' dads.

Hyperion, was your dad ADHD too? It sure sounds like it! :)

Well, in general I was asking about children who are too little to get themselves out of the car, although I've seen junior high kids fall asleep in the back of the car, laying over onto the sear, hard to see and easy to forget because they're being quiet.

The impression I'm getting is that no one here (so far) finds it completely unthinkable that a child of any age could be forgotten. I was really frustrated by some folks on the other forum, even though it was hardly a majority of those who posted, who could not understand how any parent could ever forget a child under any circumstances - either because they never did that or because they never would. I sincerly hope none of them ever do either, but until their children are in their teens I wouldn't rule out the possibility completely.

I actually did pretty well with my own daughter, but then she was an "only" so my attention wasn't pulled in more than one direction at the same time. Going through menopause while helping to raise my granddaughters however... :rolleyes:

I have done the things that you talked about with the c****ats. For some reason it was with child number six several times. Maybe it was because there was a seven year space between child number five and six or maybe it was because I was older and had more hormonal interference with my adhd. Or maybe it was because c****ats had become more portable and didn't stay buckled in.
I have ran that same question through my head when I have seen that a toddler or baby was left in the car. I come away without judging them. So even though I have never forgotten a child anywhere and doubt that I would, I must be able to imagine someone doing it when rushed. It seems that it happens to career parents the most. I guess they have things that occupy their brains as much as children. That part I can't relate to because my children have always been first in my head.
I still come away without judgement though because forgetting something is not something that you have control over. It is a horrible trick that your brain plays on you and can you imagine the pain that parent must live with for the whole rest of their lives?

when did car seats become a cuss word?

when did car seats become a cuss word?LOL..just then obviously...hehe :D

I was wondering what was going on there with that word...LOL

I have never left them in the car, I can't imagine leaving them in the car and forgetting them...:eek:

hehe..c****ats.. it's the word within the word, that gets edited :D

which word inside the word? I'm not seeing it and it's driving me crazy.

Is **** a cuss word? Obviously I'm going to test the theory by hitting the submit reply button.lol

ROFLMAO! I guess it is then.lol Is it a cuss word every where or just certain countries?

Now I'm going to be pondering other words that might have a cussword in the middle of it all night.

"a-r-s-e" is a British/Aussie term for one's buttocks, identical to the American term "a-s-s"

"a-r-s-e" is a British/Aussie term for one's buttocks, identical to the American term "a-s-s"Heehee well you would think it would catch the cock in your quote then.

I thought a r s e was more like saying b u t t, which isn't a cuss word.

Okay I'll stop. This is way too serious of thread to put this kind of silliness in.

I will add that I worried that my very adhd son-in-law would be the type to set the car seat on top of the car and forget. He forgets incredibly vital things to his life all the time and so I told my daughter to keep a watch out for that senario.

"a-r-s-e" is a British/Aussie term for one's buttocks, identical to the American term "a-s-s"

So much for the language F-i-l-t-e-r-s! :rolleyes:

I have done the things that you talked about with the c****ats. For some reason it was with child number six several times. Maybe it was because there was a seven year space between child number five and six or maybe it was because I was older and had more hormonal interference with my adhd. Or maybe it was because c****ats had become more portable and didn't stay buckled in.
I have ran that same question through my head when I have seen that a toddler or baby was left in the car. I come away without judging them. So even though I have never forgotten a child anywhere and doubt that I would, I must be able to imagine someone doing it when rushed. It seems that it happens to career parents the most. I guess they have things that occupy their brains as much as children. That part I can't relate to because my children have always been first in my head.
I still come away without judgement though because forgetting something is not something that you have control over. It is a horrible trick that your brain plays on you and can you imagine the pain that parent must live with for the whole rest of their lives?
Just checking the word 'class'... since it contains the word a-s-s... looks like that one doesn't get blanked. Very selective censoring? I guess my original post cleared because I separated the two words, car seat. Got lucky there, eh?

Yeah, I just don't understand (teeheehee) how someone can be so judgmental about something that is so involuntary as to forget something or someone.

I was on a trip with my ex and another couple once. I wasn't feeling so good so I crawled into the bench-bed in the back of the van and covered up with the sleeping bag for a nap. My ex stopped at a roadside convenience and he and the other hubby went inside. The other wife stayed in the front passenger seat. It doesn't take a lot to wake me up... I woke up and needing to go pee myself I opened the rear door and got out instead of crawling back up front again to get out. Well, guys generally finish quicker than women do so the guys got back in the van, my ex looked back over his shoulder to see if I was still sleeping and it looked to him like I was still under the sleeping bag so he started the van and pulled out onto the road. The other wife didn't say anything because she was zoned out or asleep or something in the front seat and didn't realize I had gotten out.

So I came out of the bathroom in time to see them pulling out onto the highway without me! I had heard about kids being left behind when parents stopped at a filling station or for a potty break, but I sure never thought it would happen to me. What a terrible feeling to be out in the middle of nowhere with no way to let them know that I wasn't in the van with them. And no way to call the hiway patrol to flag them down and send them back. I don't even know which one decided that they should check to make sure I really was asleep or to ask me if I wanted to stop someplace to eat or what, but they did realize that I was missing before they got too far away.

Forgetting my 4 year old is my biggest nightmare. I can totally understand how someone could forget their child. For me, I'm afraid I'll forget to pick him up from school (he's too talkative to forget in the car--shades of the ADD I am sure he has). I only pick him up once a week, and that day, my entire schedule is different from the rest of the week. I go into work earlier, I work in a different area, and I pick my son up from school. I have to constantly think "pick up boy, pick up boy" all day, or I know I will head home instead of to the daycare. I haven't forgotten him yet, but by the end of my work day, I've forgotten to do half my work. My poor ADD brain can only remember so much!

I think the cases where a parent forgets a child in the car are tragic, but understandable. I'm less forgiving of the "just running into the store for a second" situations. Even if I only need milk from the 7-11, I still take my son with me. Too many horror stories of carjackings with kids buckled in their seats, kidnappings, and the like. Not to mention that sometimes what you think is a quick trip can turn into a 20 minute odyssey, and it's easy to lose track of time. And in the Chicago heat, that can be deadly.

I was one of ten kids, so more than once one of us was accidentally left at a park. My mom developed a system where we were assigned a number and when we loaded into the car we counted off out loud so she could be sure we were all there.

When my first child was a few months old, my wife asked me to run to the neighborhood store and get a can of soup--but could I please take the baby with me. The store was only a couple of miles away and when I got there, I parked and hopped out. Seconds later, as I was standing at the end of the soup aisle, I had the horrible realization that I left the baby in the car. I ran out to the car and all was well with the baby, but not with me. How could I have forgotten--even for a few seconds? Eight years later, I still beat myself up over the experience, but you can be sure it has never happened again.

I really feel terrible for parents that lose a child by forgetting them in a car. I read in a newspaper of some parents who had a daily routine where the wife dropped their toddler off at day care every day. One day, however, she could not do it, so that dad had to instead. He put the child in his car seat, but when he got into traffic he was distracted and mentally fell back into his normal routine. He parked at the office and didn't remember his child until the afternoon when it was too late. Based on my own little experience and how intensely I love my four children, I can only imagine the horrible pain he probably will live with every day for the rest of his life, all because of an innocent mental slip at the wrong time.

I feel something like that can happen to any one of us at any time--in fact the same mental lapses happen to all of us some time or another. We should count our blessings each time the consequences don't happen to be disasterous.

C