View Full Version : Tired of Not Having Friends


Jett
08-13-06, 01:28 PM
I need to vent. I am having one of those pity parties today and just need people to listen.

I don't have good social skills and am basically very shy. I belong to a group but don't yet feel comfortable around the people and have trouble approaching them.

I get tired of hearing stuff like, " It takes time to make friends" or " To have friends you have to be a friend". Please nobody tell me this.. it doesn't help but makes me feel worse. I want to be a friend to someone but just don't know how to open up to people.I am afraid of socializing and the social anxiety is pretty bad unless I am going through one of my manic phases where I am feeling much more energetic and outgoing than normal. I am going through a depression right now after being up. I had been spending way too much money and eating too much as well and not sleeping that much so now it is all catching up with me.

I really wish that I could at least write to someone on here so atleast I have someone to talk to who knows how I feel.

Anybody else here very shy and has comorbid ADHD and bipolar? Even if this doesn't describe you I really need a pen pal right now. I am fighting so hard right now to keep myself from getting too overwhelmed with depression.

X-Man
08-13-06, 01:59 PM
Hey Jett

I am so glad to someone else say that they are sick of the stupid things people say that doesn't help the way you feel.
1 I acknowledge your pain and that it seems unbearable.
2 You can talk here or PM me and I will listen and try not to give stupid advice.
3 I don't know if you have a pet. I have a little dog that is my friend inbetween people I meet.
4 I'm going to stop and think and get back later so I don't say something that doesn't have any value.

X-Man


I need to vent. I am having one of those pity parties today and just need people to listen.

I don't have good social skills and am basically very shy. I belong to a group but don't yet feel comfortable around the people and have trouble approaching them.

I get tired of hearing stuff like, " It takes time to make friends" or " To have friends you have to be a friend". Please nobody tell me this.. it doesn't help but makes me feel worse. I want to be a friend to someone but just don't know how to open up to people.I am afraid of socializing and the social anxiety is pretty bad unless I am going through one of my manic phases where I am feeling much more energetic and outgoing than normal. I am going through a depression right now after being up. I had been spending way too much money and eating too much as well and not sleeping that much so now it is all catching up with me.

I really wish that I could at least write to someone on here so atleast I have someone to talk to who knows how I feel.

Anybody else here very shy and has comorbid ADHD and bipolar? Even if this doesn't describe you I really need a pen pal right now. I am fighting so hard right now to keep myself from getting too overwhelmed with depression.

Chele77
08-14-06, 07:24 AM
Jett,

I understand. I really hesitate to make friends. I have had so many issues with friends that I seem to want to really take a break from having them (accept for you guys on here). I tend to assume people don't like me or don't care about me because, so many friends come and go, they seem to find me quite dispensible. So, then, the shyness I have gets worse. You can write me whenever you want.;)
-Chele

Doug!as
09-25-06, 12:51 AM
I need to vent. I am having one of those pity parties today and just need people to listen.

I don't have good social skills and am basically very shy. I belong to a group but don't yet feel comfortable around the people and have trouble approaching them.

I get tired of hearing stuff like, " It takes time to make friends" or " To have friends you have to be a friend". Please nobody tell me this.. it doesn't help but makes me feel worse. I want to be a friend to someone but just don't know how to open up to people.I am afraid of socializing and the social anxiety is pretty bad unless I am going through one of my manic phases where I am feeling much more energetic and outgoing than normal. I am going through a depression right now after being up. I had been spending way too much money and eating too much as well and not sleeping that much so now it is all catching up with me.

I really wish that I could at least write to someone on here so atleast I have someone to talk to who knows how I feel.

Anybody else here very shy and has comorbid ADHD and bipolar? Even if this doesn't describe you I really need a pen pal right now. I am fighting so hard right now to keep myself from getting too overwhelmed with depression.

I don't think you're going to like my advice. You want commiseration and that only perpetuates negativity and misery. The sad and brutal reality of the world, Jett, is that nobody likes to be around somebody who's negative and depressed. Unless you learn to put on a happy face in some degree you'll be simply too negative for others to enjoy your company.

Think I'm being harsh? This was what I had to learn years ago. I was miserable, angry, depressed, suicidal, and nobody, and I mean NOBODY wanted to hang around with me. But a few things turned me around:

1) I decided to be optimistic instead of pessimistic.
2) I found somebody to love and serve and stopped pitying myself

I wrote a whole lot more but deleted it because I didn't want to bore you with my life story. I also wasn't sure you'd really be interested in my message.

Think more positively. Learn to like yourself. Get a pet. Find a hobby to do outside of your house that involves interacting with people. Remember that just because you feel sad doesn't mean you have to be negative. You have more power inside yourself to affect your environment than you give yourself credit for.

sammyanne1
09-25-06, 02:46 AM
eh, i can jump on the pitty party bandwagon, as my friends of 15 years told me that they don't want to be my friends anymore. I have two pets, (they're precious) and I suck at social situations. I used to have massive panic attacks at things like school dances when I was younger. So, I hear ya. Sometimes life just sucks. The goodnews is, it statistically can't suck forever. All I have to think is that I'm just an infantesmal speck of dust in this universe and nothing I do really matters. And when nothing I do really matters, the only thing that can matter is what I do. So I go through life like a big clumsy ox, knockin stuff over, and occasionally knock into the good stuff.

Meadd
09-25-06, 02:53 AM
I can understand how you feel Jett. I am Bipolar comorbid with ADD, and roller coast around once in a while in spite of my meds. Be extra gentle with yourself in your depressions. Ride the coaster on your manic episodes...

Write to me anytime if you want to talk.

Peace,
Meadd:)

Foghat
09-25-06, 03:59 AM
Jett, I can certainly empathize with having problems in social situations and it can be hard making new friends. I only have a couple of longtime friends that I really keep in touch with and even some of those are drifting away.

Heh... Having ADD can make it hard on even the best of friendships and I'm sure the bpd doesn't help much either. I'm not really qualified to give any advice but I almost can't help myself:rolleyes:. My advice is that friends will come and go... but rest assured that you WILL make friends. As for pitty, everyone needs to be assured and comforted once in a while:).

While, I'm not very good at listening:D... I read very well, and I would absolutely love to be your pen pal.

Disclaimer: I'm not good at staying on topic... so you'll have to fogive me if I stray.

Anywhoo

Doug!as
09-25-06, 07:22 PM
eh, i can jump on the pitty party bandwagon, as my friends of 15 years told me that they don't want to be my friends anymore. I have two pets, (they're precious) and I suck at social situations. I used to have massive panic attacks at things like school dances when I was younger. So, I hear ya. Sometimes life just sucks. The goodnews is, it statistically can't suck forever. All I have to think is that I'm just an infantesmal speck of dust in this universe and nothing I do really matters. And when nothing I do really matters, the only thing that can matter is what I do. So I go through life like a big clumsy ox, knockin stuff over, and occasionally knock into the good stuff.

I love your attitude, Sammy Anne! :D

Grade A
10-23-06, 03:19 PM
I won't comment on any of this, but if you just want someone to chat with pm anytime. And I will get back to you.

hope to talk with you soon jett.

Grade A