I see it like this. I imagine that this will sound familiar to a lot of you. I have always thought that if there was one work to describe me it would be the word "capable."

But, within that lies the problem. Being capable is great. BUT, here is the issue. Yes, I can do anything, I bet just like almost everyone here (fix something, figure something out, play a song on the guitar/piano, play sports, build a bookcase....or whatever). But because of my ADD.....here is how I see it.

I can DO anything.....I just cant do ANYTHING. I can go out and build a bridge but I can't go out and build a bridge. By which I mean I could figure it out but I could never get it finished. Does that make sense??? Please??? You could ask me to do anything and I KNOW I can do it and I don't care what it is. I can figure it out. I bet almost all of us could. But, I can't do it because I can't get it done. Sidetracked, loss of excitement, or whatever.

In my family life and marriage I feel like this.......I feel like that beacuse of my ADD, I don't ever get the stuff done that I need to get done, I don't remember to do the things that I need to do, and it just causes chaos and stress for my wife and family. To make an analogy to a song, I feel like all my wife sees when she looks at me is blue, gray, black and not much else because of all the stress I cause her. BUT, when I look inside myself I can see all the beautiful colors that I possess. My "true colors". And I know that is why my wife loves me is because of my true colors. I just need to find a way to let them be seen all the time. You know, Cyndi Lauper. Yes I am dating myself.

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow

hey whatwasIsaying (love the name by the way :) ),

I can definately relate to you here. Even before I knew I had ADD I would feel this way, and it's probably the most frusterating thing in the world. I always knew I could do more than I was doing, I could just never seem to do it. Especially when I would start a new website design project and would be so pumped about it, drawing tonnes of concept diagrams and bits of code, but after a week with only half the site done I'd totally lose steam. I know I could do it, i just lost interest, and it became like a chore instead of something i had lost myself in the previous week. Obviously i had the potential, otherwise i never would have gotten as far as i had, i just couldn't get myself to finish.

I've found things are improving though just by knowing about ADD and that I'm definately it. Lists are my best friend. I've also recently discovered Coffee, which has been an unbelievable god send.

Anyway, I can relate to how you feel for sure!

Hope you can find a way that works for you...it's tough, to be sure, lots of trials and tribulations, but it's there somewhere. And this site is a great resource.

cheers, and good luck!

Garet

I keep hearing ADD people have difficulty communicating their problems and feelings. I wonder how many "normal" people would understand what you mean by the following:
I can DO anything.....I just cant do ANYTHING.
To me, however, it is poetry. It is perfect in its clarity and completeness. When I read it, it looks to me like *I* could have written it.

So, in short, yes - you are not alone. Not at all.

I see it like this. I imagine that this will sound familiar to a lot of you. I have always thought that if there was one work to describe me it would be the word "capable."

But, within that lies the problem. Being capable is great. BUT, here is the issue. Yes, I can do anything, I bet just like almost everyone here (fix something, figure something out, play a song on the guitar/piano, play sports, build a bookcase....or whatever). But because of my ADD.....here is how I see it.

I can DO anything.....I just cant do ANYTHING. I can go out and build a bridge but I can't go out and build a bridge. By which I mean I could figure it out but I could never get it finished. Does that make sense??? Please??? You could ask me to do anything and I KNOW I can do it and I don't care what it is. I can figure it out. I bet almost all of us could. But, I can't do it because I can't get it done. Sidetracked, loss of excitement, or whatever.

In my family life and marriage I feel like this.......I feel like that beacuse of my ADD, I don't ever get the stuff done that I need to get done, I don't remember to do the things that I need to do, and it just causes chaos and stress for my wife and family. To make an analogy to a song, I feel like all my wife sees when she looks at me is blue, gray, black and not much else because of all the stress I cause her. BUT, when I look inside myself I can see all the beautiful colors that I possess. My "true colors". And I know that is why my wife loves me is because of my true colors. I just need to find a way to let them be seen all the time. You know, Cyndi Lauper. Yes I am dating myself.

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow
Only one word can describe what you have said....beautiful.

whatwasIsaying,

I know exactly what you mean. It is hard for me too. I am an artist, so its real fun when I am supposed to be painting and I hesitate to start because, I know I won't finish...
When it comes to feeling like your spouse doesn't see all the beautiful colors of who you are, I know that feeling too. Sometimes I ask my hubby, "Okay, just tell me three things you love about me." It may sound weird but, it makes me feel so much better. Also, when he does say things that let me know he sees the beauty in me, I write it in my journal, then, later, I can go back to it and remind myself of all the wonderful things he really does see in me.
Great post BTW!
Chele

I can DO anything.....I just cant do ANYTHING. I can go out and build a bridge but I can't go out and build a bridge. By which I mean I could figure it out but I could never get it finished. Does that make sense??? Please??? You could ask me to do anything and I KNOW I can do it and I don't care what it is. I can figure it out. I bet almost all of us could. But, I can't do it because I can't get it done. Sidetracked, loss of excitement, or whatever.

BINGO!

Give me a manual or show me how and I can do anything. :D I've rebuilt a Chevy V-8 engine from a bare engine block and a box of parts, built computers from pieces parts, performed electrical wiring, learned songs on the guitar without music, roofed numerous houses, can find galaxies/star clusters by looking at star charts and constellations, learned to ski in one day on the mountains of Colorado and achieved my Cisco Certified Network Professional Certification.

But .... don't ask me how long it took to complete a lot of these efforts or if any of them are completely finished.

This symptom is a direct reflection of the lack of "executive functions" most people with ADHD fall under. We have a lot of "irons in the fire". :D

Thanks for posting.

Wow, it is so good to know that there are other people out there that can relate!!! Thank you all so much for responding !!

I can DO anything.....I just cant do ANYTHING.

I feel more like "I can do anything ... I just can't do anything"

;)

I can DO anything.....I just cant do ANYTHING.
I can do anything ... I just can't do anything

Stop messing with my mind! Now I don't know where to put MY emphasis.

Damn poets.

;)

Okay, I just read this signature quote:

"Tim's incessant talking is wearing on all of us."

As....

TIME'S incessant talking is wearing on all of us.

At first I thought, Wow that is kind of deep, and started pondering it. Then I read it again and laughed out loud at my mistake. (And, of course, my report cards from 1st through 4th grades shared similar sentiments, so I laughed from recognition.)

--amys

I also am an artist, self-taught, with unfilled but recently discovered potential to reach very high iq as indicated by several wais-3 subtests, can understand advanced concepts and so on; but damned if I can actually accomplish in reality what I 'know' - not 'believe' are my abilities in terms of performance most of the time. I daily feel like an animal, made for the wide open plains, but instead, locked up in a cage; restricted by my inability to manifest whats inside. Frustration; anger degenerating into periodic depression, yet with strong resolve to fight and rise up again. DX'ed as fairly severe add; most likely inattentive. Failed every school subject and that in C stream. Not bad for someone supposed to be, at least potentially, intellectually gifted, going by what psychometricians have told me.

I see it like this. I imagine that this will sound familiar to a lot of you. I have always thought that if there was one work to describe me it would be the word "capable."

But, within that lies the problem. Being capable is great. BUT, here is the issue. Yes, I can do anything, I bet just like almost everyone here (fix something, figure something out, play a song on the guitar/piano, play sports, build a bookcase....or whatever). But because of my ADD.....here is how I see it.

I can DO anything.....I just cant do ANYTHING. I can go out and build a bridge but I can't go out and build a bridge. By which I mean I could figure it out but I could never get it finished. Does that make sense??? Please??? You could ask me to do anything and I KNOW I can do it and I don't care what it is. I can figure it out. I bet almost all of us could. But, I can't do it because I can't get it done. Sidetracked, loss of excitement, or whatever.

In my family life and marriage I feel like this.......I feel like that beacuse of my ADD, I don't ever get the stuff done that I need to get done, I don't remember to do the things that I need to do, and it just causes chaos and stress for my wife and family. To make an analogy to a song, I feel like all my wife sees when she looks at me is blue, gray, black and not much else because of all the stress I cause her. BUT, when I look inside myself I can see all the beautiful colors that I possess. My "true colors". And I know that is why my wife loves me is because of my true colors. I just need to find a way to let them be seen all the time. You know, Cyndi Lauper. Yes I am dating myself.

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
Are beautiful like a rainbowyes I feel like this every day. I can envison so much stuff, but actully getting the things off the ground is another matter. I am so sick of being described as have so much potental. I mean i am 44 years old, when does that potental become actual? I am tired of spinning the wheels and going backwards. so yes i really feel like this. Thank you so much for sharing this with me this morning and letting me know that there are others that feel the same as I do.

I am so sick of being described as have so much potental. I mean i am 44 years old, when does that potental become actual? I am tired of spinning the wheels and going backwards. so yes i really feel like this. Thank you so much for sharing this with me this morning and letting me know that there are others that feel the same as I do.Wow. I think I have about 50 journal entries from the past decade that read just like this. I turn 40 very soon and am also sick of "having potential." One of my biggest fears is reaching the moment of death (or finding out I have some serious illness) before I've actually achieved anything or "actualized" my potential.

I can really relate.

/amys

Wow. I think I have about 50 journal entries from the past decade that read just like this. I turn 40 very soon and am also sick of "having potential." One of my biggest fears is reaching the moment of death (or finding out I have some serious illness) before I've actually achieved anything or "actualized" my potential.

I can really relate.

/amysI am 40, Amy, and my kids keep pesting me to write The Book...I keep telling them "Its not time yet..." and it really isn't time...yet. ;)

nah ... i just can't do anything :(

I swear its a blessing and a curse to have add

I see myself in a lot of what you wrote. And I guess a lot of people with ADD are multi-talented people, it's just that we tend to not stay with things very long, and seem only to be able to focus on things that are currently grabbing our attention.

I personally
-Can play guitar, but I will never stay at it long enough to be great.
-Can Draw and Paint better than most, but I rarely '"finish" large projects
-I am good at Math and eventually passed Calculus 2 in college, but I had to drop the course and Calc 1 a few times, because of my constant tiredness and orginization.
-Know a lot about computers and currently work in the IT field. I can program games in C++ and know a few other languages. I can design web-sites and have recently learned Flash and Actionscript on my own - but before Adderall I wouldn't be able to complete the project and stay with it. I'd eventually lose interest
-I'm pretty handy around the house - but because of my fear that I won't feel good, I am affraid to start large projects
-I can communicate well - but I have had a hard time keeping friends because I fail to keep in touch and I cancel out too many times when I'm not feeling well.

Etc...

So I can understand exactly what your saying. I know that I can learn anything. There's not much that I can't learn, but my drive to stay with it and the times that I wound up not feeling well; depressed, Anxious, Tired, unable to concentrate; have gotten in the way a lot.

I always heard that in school even from my Junior High years. "Not working to Potential". I was always told that I was smart and I have always scored well on tests both written and practical - but I was also not really awake or focused. I jumped between tasks or hobbies on impulse. My organization was horrible - and without medication it still is. Many times it wasn't that I didn't want to do an assignment or homework, it was more the fact that I couldn't find where I wrote it down, or remember where my book was. As much as I enjoy the talents that I have, many times thought how I would give them up to be a master at one thing.

I'm not sure if everyone with ADD feels this way. I know that with Adderall I am more capable of staying on task, completing projects, keeping documentation up-to-date, and being able to multi-task. I just pray that it doesn't go away. I had messed up my treatment once by drinking. I hope this time around I finally make the changes I need to, to live up to my potential.

Thanks

Guess I'm the only one alone in this. I don't get it. Oh, hum....it's like a lot of things in life for me, though.... I just don't get it. LOL

I hated that "not working to potential" ahh