Hi, I hope someone can help and maybe offer an insight that I am just not seeing or possibly advice or ideas based on their own experience..

I am slowly losing any and all ability to function day by day.. I am still taking medication, saw my psych as recently as last week as well as a counselor this past Monday. I am diagnosed ADD/Major Depressive Disorder and now BiPolar is being considered as a possible. Started Lexapro recently since the doc thinks the depression is my biggest obstacle at the moment.

I am desperately trying to salvage myself but at a loss how. Family insists that they are there for support but when I try to redeem any emotional support I get "well, maybe this is better discussed with your doctor" and then followed up with the hint that I am interupting their day and activities. When I push it makes matters worse. (as a background, my mother does and has always had serious mental issues herself but that is taboo to even try to work with or around).

So, since I am fully aware and accept that the only one who is going to help me is me, I have tried to really go that route. Which in turn creates the opposite effect family wise ("Fine, you don't listen to any advice")..

So, I am aware that I am battling a lifelong problem with family issues, and it has always been the advice of both counselors and doctors alike that I really need to get away from the negative influences of my family situation..

So, about 6 months to a year ago I started to notice that I was not getting better despite meds and behavior therapy and it was possible I was not properly medicated.. Before I was "able" or really aware enough to tell my doctor I had seriously started a downward spiral.. I often don't notice when this starts because I continually think I can get it under control or its just a "bad day" which is actually not only a day..

I have addressed this with my doctor, started with a new counselor, visited the hospital, DESPERATELY want to work again, but I just don't know if the time it is going to take for the doctor and medication side of things to really start working is going to come in time..

I have lost pretty much everything and for some odd reason NO ONE takes me seriously.. Perhaps I am not explaining it right, but even the counselor had the reaction of "well, sometimes things get rough but you seem pretty together so I think you'll be fine"...

Do I need to start going to see people drooling and spewing nonsense and THEN they will say, "Hey, ok, maybe you need some help".. Sometimes I could have simply used a venting session or just to talk to help stabilize my brain.. But since I am fairly educated, intelligent, articulate and DON"T have a breakdown right in front of anyone I feel like I am just getting a pat on the head and "it will be alright, just relax"...

Is any of this making any sense? There is more, but I will break here because I need to get a drink of water and stop for now because I am starting to lose it a bit.. Thanks if anyone has anything to say, and I will be checking the boards all day if there are questions or gaps in my post..

Attainathon,
Okay, how long have you been on Lexapro? Just curious, I am on it too and I read that sometimes it can take up to two months to take effect.

I think I might have an idea about how to get people, especially your counselor to understand better. I have the same problem, when I try to explain how I feel, I get so many emotions all at once that it comes out all wrong. Do you write in a journal? I tried doing this. Sometimes it takes eight pages to get it all out, but, I feel much better. Getting my thoughts out on paper makes them make more sense. So, then, I mark the spots that really highlight how I feel and then, I read them to my counselor.

Also, this is really cheesy, but, I have a happy journal too. It is small so it can fit in my purse. I look through that book, 14,000 things to be happy about and I write the things that make me smile in this little journal, then, I also add happy thoughts of my own from time to time, when I get down, I look in there and I feel like there is a brighter side to my feelings.

I hope some of that can help. If you ever need to talk, PM me and I will respond as soon as I am on-line again.

Chele

Attainathon,
Okay, how long have you been on Lexapro? Just curious, I am on it too and I read that sometimes it can take up to two months to take effect.
CheleI started it a little less than a month ago, I did know that it could take some time so I am not counting it out just yet.. I just don't know how to survive until then I guess is where I am at..

I actually do keep a journal, or more like a book of ramblings <g>.. I did show it to a couple of members of my friends/family and I was a little sorry actually.. I think they were simply more confused than anything and seemed to very quickly want to forget that they read it.. I remember also showing a counselor at one time a brief writing of how I was feeling and she replied "Oh, I don't doubt you are feeling very badly, believe me I see it all the time".. And that was the extent of the reaction...

Thanks for the PM offer, I may take you up on that! Feel free to do the same if you have time.. :)

What? Your counselor actually told you that they doubt you are feeling very badly? WTF!!!!!! How can anyone TELL someone else how they are feeling? Sounds like you might need another counselor. I had to try multiple ones to find the right one for me.

Yeah, I never show the journal to my family, I do show my hubby, but, he is really understanding about it. I never show my friends though (I don't have any). But, I only want friends who would enbrace these parts of me.

I know sometimes, people take more than one medication for there happiness. You might want to look at some of the threads on medications, especially the ones on Lexapro to see what people are mixing it with and how it works for them.

Hugs,
Chele

What? Your counselor actually told you that they doubt you are feeling very badly? WTF!!!!!! How can anyone TELL someone else how they are feeling? Sounds like you might need another counselor. I had to try multiple ones to find the right one for me.
Sorry, did I mistype? I meant she said that she did NOT doubt how I was feeling.. Sorry..

I think the meds are the least of my problems actually, I know that is going to be a wait and see, maybe try something new, type of process. Got to keep it going, but the struggle of trying to deal until then is getting overwhelming especially when its just me and my brain pretty much 24/7. I wonder sometimes if I don't process everything they way I should when so isolated..

What ADD meds were you on and how did they affect you?
What doses did you take and how many times a day did you dose?

Tom

What ADD meds were you on and how did they affect you?
What doses did you take and how many times a day did you dose?

TomI currently take 30mg Adderall XR once daily, Lexapro 10mg once daily for the past week, 5mg Lexapro for 3 weeks prior to that..

I do pretty well on the Adderall, and have been taking it for 4-5 years I believe.. I cannot function at all without it.. It definitely helps with focus, time management and organization, actually tremendously.. I was also taking Wellbutrin a while back for quite some time in addition to the Adderall but there was no noticable effect. I had started that before the Adderall since initially it was felt I might have been suffering only from depression. Of course most of my depression symptoms lifted after the Adderall and all was somewhat well for a while..

Like I said, just this past year and after several major like "hits" (family illness, injury, personal loss, etc.) it seemed a lot of the anxiety, depression and panic from being overwhelmed starting creeping back.. Then before I knew it I was totally out of it again..

So far with the Lexapro I noticed a slight difference the first week, could have just been imagined, but now everything is in such turmoil it is really hard to say..

I'm still standing upright everyday, so that could be a sign ;)