View Full Version : Want to help my son get organized


w.a.m.h.
09-02-06, 02:53 PM
My son started Jr. High and I worry about his ability to handle this less structured environment than middle school.

He forgets to take home work, forgets to turn work in, doesn't even seem to remember what is assigned, doesn't use his planner. In short he is very disorganized and forgetful.

I know that he wants to do well, and honestly seems to feel bad when he doesn't bring his work home or makes these "mistakes". He is very bright and able to do well, but he cannot get it together.

I need some stategies!

FrazzleDazzle
09-02-06, 05:08 PM
DS started 7th grade last year, and he is a carbon copy of your DS! I am soo sorry. Just know it will probably get better. last year for us was horrible, but so far this year is llke the light bulb just went off. He didn't use the planner well either, and still doesn't this year. The teacher's don't do their part. Does he have a 504?

what might help is a study buddy, get the phone number and e-mail of a friend in each class he can call, and who can maybe keep tabs on each other in the classroom. We found a notebook this year that has 5-6 subjects with a folder inbetween, the in side and the out side, and DS loves this method. He gets it out anyway, and everything is right there. Better than one notebook, one folder, and one planner to grab each class. That's a lot! Go to the office supply store and shop together for ideas that he likes.

The best advise I can give, is don't fight him. Keep teaching him and working with him every night, going over his papers, his folders, his backpack for floaties. Every night. Just teach and show and go over it and over it an over it together. He will eventually get it. IT's the repetition that sets it in. But don't come down on him for not doing some of it on his own yet. Just keep working together. Ask his teachers to let keep you very close in the loop for assigments due and missing work. We did get at tutor too, to instill what I was teaching him at home, just so he didn't think I was nuts.

So far this year, the work we did last year seems to be paying off. He's got a better mental grasp of his work, and it's very organized.

Best of luck to you!

scuro
09-02-06, 07:18 PM
If a study buddy isn't available contact the teacher directly. ADHD kids often need that planner type person to tell them what to do when.

E-mail works great with some teachers but if not then phone....daily if need be. You can also use communication book but the worry here is that they may lose it. Stress that it must be done this way. Have some sort of mild daily reward to support this, and a consequence if it fails. Stay on top of this. Make it the focus of your first communication with him as soon as he comes home. Let him see how important it is too you...but at the same time don' t let his efforts, or lack of effort, visibly anger you in front of him. Just keep on getting him back on track. Some kids really need this to do well and they may need it for some or all of High School. Teachers also can see which parents mean business and who they need to talk too. If they don't play ball, just drop in everyday and chat the principal up when you drop in. Sooner or later someone at the school will understand and help you.

w.a.m.h.
09-03-06, 08:22 PM
I love the folder idea.

He does not have a 504. and just this year I thought of looking into that. So far all of his teachers except first and third grade have been fantastic about working through this with us. And I think we got a real gem for reading and writing (his worst subjects) this year. Thank goodness!

And thank you to all you teachers out there who are willing to be a bit flexible. You have no idea of the impact this has on our lives. Thank you Thank you!

I did find that our teacher's all have the homework listed on the webiste, which is great if he brings it home.

1kid2dogs. I am glad to hear your son has it together now. I have hope. I work at a college and deal with parents who still manage their kids problems.

We try to strile a balance between letting him firgure it out and helping and I think overall we haven't given him enough strategies. We're working on it.

JustNeedHelp
09-14-06, 05:47 PM
I love the folder idea.

He does not have a 504. and just this year I thought of looking into that. whats a 504?

Crazy~Feet
09-14-06, 05:50 PM
If a study buddy isn't available contact the teacher directly. ADHD kids often need that planner type person to tell them what to do when.

E-mail works great with some teachers but if not then phone....daily if need be. You can also use communication book but the worry here is that they may lose it. Stress that it must be done this way. Have some sort of mild daily reward to support this, and a consequence if it fails. Stay on top of this. Make it the focus of your first communication with him as soon as he comes home. Let him see how important it is too you...but at the same time don' t let his efforts, or lack of effort, visibly anger you in front of him. Just keep on getting him back on track. Some kids really need this to do well and they may need it for some or all of High School. Teachers also can see which parents mean business and who they need to talk too. If they don't play ball, just drop in everyday and chat the principal up when you drop in. Sooner or later someone at the school will understand and help you.These methods are exactly what worked for the Kid Scuro!

Ya saved me a post ;)...study buddies, and email, and I have even scanned homework and sent it as an attachment because even folders did not organize her brain for her.

w.a.m.h.
09-14-06, 10:09 PM
I think a study buddy migt be tough because of social issues. I did ask the teachers for a second copy of the tests which we have at home. Now he does not worry about forgetting his book.

A 504 is like an IEP. Children with LD or ADHD can get a modified study plan in school. I do know that much about it because we have not gone that route, yet.

He seems to be settling in a bit in some classes, but still having trouble in others.

w.a.m.h.
09-14-06, 10:09 PM
I meant a second copy of texts. TYPO!

scarlett
11-15-06, 12:24 AM
I wish I could get a 2nd copy of all DD's textbooks... partly because she forgets them and partly because bringing home 3-4 textbooks a day is killer on her back. Their lockers aren't big enough for a rolling backpack either.

Tara
11-15-06, 12:27 AM
I wish I could get a 2nd copy of all DD's textbooks... partly because she forgets them and partly because bringing home 3-4 textbooks a day is killer on her back. Their lockers aren't big enough for a rolling backpack either.
This was written into IEPs of some of the students I worked with when I was a Special Ed assistant.

Ann74
12-23-06, 04:24 PM
My son attends a middle school charter. These are some interventions the school and I came up with at our last 504 meeting:

1) He has a teacher check his agenda at the end of the day. If all information is written, she signs off on it. If not he has to go back to each teacher and write it down. He hates having to back, so this has worked out well.

2) For tests, the teacher provides him with an outline of what will be on the test. He would get really overwhelmed when she would say, "The test will cover chapter four and five." This way, he knows what concept to focus on.

3) We have a master schedule at home that I write due dates on.

4) I try to teach him coping skills that I learn in my therapy (I'm ADD as well). I think out loud while I'm organizing his binder. "Okay, let me organize this cuz it'll only take a few minutes." " This is an important paper, let me put this here so I don't forget." "Wow, that didn't take to long and my binder looks good! Now I feel better and I can relax."

I hope this helps.

Anna

Dory
10-12-07, 11:28 AM
I know i posted in the other thread about this, but this is the same problem that my son is having.... only they are starting the "unstructured" classes etc..... in the 4th grade here, which seems early to me. He has gone from being a good student who never gets in trouble to.... the kid who is failing and is always in trouble. :-(

Chicken
01-27-08, 01:13 AM
The losing things is -maddening. I know this because I have ADD and did (do) this relentlessly as a child. Now my child is exactly the same to the point that I have had to drive back and forth to school ...search playgrounds for things....you name it. It really starts around 4/5th grade and will stay through college. I often wonder if medicine would've spared me the Hell of this part of the ADD. It kills me to see my son this way. But as a sped. teacher, I know it is something a person needs to work through their own neurological system...having teachers email lessons home, principals can get you a second set of books for free if the child has an IEP (you will have to return them at the end of the yr though)...Good luck. I feel your pain.

lindsayok
02-17-08, 01:30 AM
I was dealing with this exact issue at the beginning of the year. I contacted all 5 of my son's teachers and gave them my cell number. I asked them to call me if he had any late papers or if his grades were dropping. This really didn't work until I went to the principal and told him that I wasn't getting notified like I asked. I sat down with all of his teachers at one time and we all worked together to get him on track. We exchanged ideas for keeping him on track in class and what I expected of them and what I would do to help make their lives easier. My expectations are simple: I expect him to pass 5th grade with at least a B-C average and I expect his teachers to keep me informed if this is not happening. I expect my son to be respectful and to do his work to the best of his abilities and in a timely manner. I will help him at home and make sure that if I know about the assignment that it gets done and turned in. He is now making As bs and cs. I am very proud of him.