Ever since I have made the move (maybe I should change my handle to AlbertaDude :p ), I have had a bit more success in finding and keeping my jobs. The current one I have had, I have been there for over a month and a half (longer than 75 percent of the last 5 jobs I have had), and so far I seem to be doing ok. Not great, mind you but ok.

However, I am starting to have problems dealing with the social aspect at work. The downside of this job is that it feels like I am in high school over again. Everyone jokes around a lot and plays pranks on other people. They also make fun of other people, playing on their insecurities. For the most part I can handle it, because I know its fun and games, but there is one fellow employee that I sense does it out of malice and not for fun. Unfortunately, he also happens to be my manager.

The worst part about it is that every time he is around I screw up, and feel uncomfortable. He senses this and plays on my insecurities. He also senses that I would like nothing better than to grab a shovel and smack him upside the head. He knows I have ADD (and I will admit telling him was a bit of a mistake), and he still treats me like I am retarded. The ironic thing is that once he is gone, I feel fine.

I am in the works of getting treated for my ADD. Once my concentration starts improving and I start gaining more confidence, I will easily be able to turn the tables on him, and start playing on HIS insecurities. Until then, I am biding my time, and letting him have his fun, so to speak. My question is, how can I deal with him in the meantime?

I have a job like that where often my boss is right behind me watching me write a query to make sure that it will work - usually have a deadline of ten minutes ago and one screw up will cost thousands. When that happens [it happens on a super regular basis], I try to excuse myself for about 10 minutes while I walk around the building. I think better when I walk and that gives me the chance to achive hyperfocus to accomplish the task at hand within a good time frame.
The other day, I had two people watch me write a complicated series of queries. Sure enough, I was all thumbs and couldn't come up with anything that even remotely work. Finally, they left and I had the solution written and uploaded in 5 minutes. I had to move into that hyperfocus state and couldn't do that with people watching me work.
That has been happening a lot lately. Another time this past week, I had four people standing behind me, watching me make a change because they had to fax it to the client 10 minutes ago [they 'forgot' to tell me what they wanted until it was already late; again]
"Ok, everyone go away and I will get it. Stick around and you won't get it in ten minutes but 20 and there will be mistakes". So the pack comes back in 20 minutes and I have everything laid out for them; just what they were looking for.

Intimidating is unacceptable. I am in a situation where I have an intimidating very controling female manager. She simply "does not know any other method of working or managing things with people other than her being in control, argues or acts like if I say one thing then she always has someting better to say" - or she is always right kinda attitude.

In my experience I know that no one is ever always right - in a tech job that i have - things change so rapidly - that if you are not compassionate and humanistically understading ( if you get my drift ) about events that occur. It is like she does not listen. It is also like she only listens to what she wants to hear.

To boot i am put on warnings and all kinds of thin ice bull **** that makes me feel like i have to only do what she wants or something to that effect.

Your situation sounds like a bunch of idiots. Your boss shouldnt be treating you like that you should file a greivance.

BC dude / Alberta Dude. Like you said you have regretted handing him that power over you by telling him about your DX. Could be as much to do with you knowing that he knows, and you reading the 'banter' he is giving you in that context. You need to decide whether or not it is a case of him thinking something like 'well I am not going to single him out for special treatment and treat him any different to the others', or whether he actually is picking on you. Either way, if you don't like it you should be able to ask him for a word and ask him to stop, because it affects your work and how you feel about it. If he carries on after that, then he is a workplace bully and you should keep a notebook and log incidents when he is being a sh*t. Most managers would back off, however, if an employee asked them politely to do so.

captainkirk makes a good point...ask yourself does he treat everyone this way and if he does then you are just one of the crew and it's not personal. I can completely identify with screwing up when the boss is looking over the shoulder though. That happens to me everytime someone is standing over me when I am working on something...instant anxiety takes over and I screw up everytime!

When your boss is around, are you working side by side due to the nature of the job or is he there specifically to work with you on something? If either is the case, maybe excusing yourself for a few minutes (like a quick bathroom break), take a few deep breaths to alleviate the anxiety, gain your composure and once you feel more in control go back to what you were doing. Try joking around with your boss to lighten things up a bit.

I just got fired this morning. (9/18) I feel its because of my boss ultimately.

I just got fired this morning. (9/18) I feel its because of my boss ultimately.I am SO sorry to hear that. I have been fired from many jobs because of my severe ADD. Heck, i have even been fired from what in my mind was the "perfect" job for me.



I have since gotten 'used' to my boss. I still screw up around him, and he still makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, but I am able to handle it better. It is because of three facts. One, I have seen cracks in his personality, and have started to turn the tables, so to speak. Two, since we are really short on help, they need me a lot more than I need them. Three, I am only in this job til I start to get treatment for my ADD. Once my symptoms have started to improve, I will leave to pursue my next career option. But that is for another post.....