I was born with defective knees and hips. I could never run fast and was terrible at sports. I used to dread gym class. Kids would laugh at me when losing a race to the fat kid. Then when theyd pick for teams. Id alway be picked last. Some kids liked to tease me and make fun of how I run. My joints were stiff so Id walk and run very stiff legged. It was so humilating I just wanted to cry. It took all my strenght not to.

I think the experience made me distant to people. I have a hard time trusting them. I realize that Im an adult now and need to let it go, but Im afraid it has affected my personality. Im very nervous around people. Im in constant fear of being humilatied and ridiculed.

I am so sorry you were treated that way. And shame on the teachers and administration for letting it happen:mad: . Yes, your hunch is right, what you went through could very well cause PTSD. You suffered psychological and emotional abuse for years-this is just as valid as the suffering others experience in a single, tragic event!

Please go to your doctor or counselor. You might want to start with a very good counselor and find a psychiatrist who is particularly interested in treating PTSD. Write down everything you would like to tell them. It will help you see the whole picture too.

I have PTSD-and have made significant progress. I now have fewer triggers that cause flashbacks and panic episodes. When I do experience a trigger, I learn how to handle the situation and my reaction a little better each time! For a time living with PTSD was shattering-I functioned at a very low level and lived in fear of humiliation from people, but especially from authority figures. (This is only part of my experience.)

You may PM me if you like, just click on my member name and choose-send a PM.

The good thing is that PTSD it very treatable with counseling and medication and you will eventually develop a different perspective about yourself and your life! Don't lose hope, OK? I have recovered-not cured, and enjoy life and people-I went from being an introvert due to my situation to the extrovert I always was on the inside.

With deepest care for you,
RADD

I feel like I am an extrovert too. I was outgoing before going to school. Around second and third grade something changed and I became withdrawn. I have other problems too.

I was born with a connective tissue disorder called Sticklers syndrome. Its a genetic disease I inherited from my grandmother. Along with the joint problems, I have hearing loss, sinus irregularity that gives me a speech impediment (gives me a nasally voice and it sounds like I have a cold). Also the hearing loss gives my voice an accent.

Kids would make fun of how I would talk. It made me terrified to give speeches. I hated school. Never had any friends. I was always very nervous about when I was gonna be humilated next. I pretended to be sick a lot. It averaged out to missing 1 day of school a week.

For some reason I couldnt tell my parents about what was going on or what I was feeling. I never really connected with them. Now I am 34 years old and cant hold a job. I have a degree in mechanical engineering. I am pretty sure I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. Its an extreme form of social anxiety. I cant relax around a group of people. Whenever Im around a group of people, I feel like Im about to be humiliated and ridiculed.

The only thing that helps me is benzos or opiates. None of my doctors are willing to prescribe them long term because of the potentials of addiction. SSri's dont help me. I am not really depressed. Just sensitive and nervous.

(Cliff Notes) I experienced a lot of peer rejection when growing up and it made me very wary of people.

I
I think the experience made me distant to people. I have a hard time trusting them. I realize that Im an adult now and need to let it go, but Im afraid it has affected my personality. Im very nervous around people. Im in constant fear of being humilatied and ridiculed.

Sorry you had to be treated like that, it makes me feel angy. Bullying and making fun of others is a sore spot for me. I was bullied and teased from about 7th grade to 9th. Why? Because I was shy, had braces and was about 20 pounds over weight.

I wouldn't go to the bathroom all day in fear of "them" being there. I feared and later wouldn't take gym because of the things that had been done to me.

I feared speaking in class or being called on,being noticed, this lasted long after the bulling stopped. This lasted long after high school.

At about 10th grade I discovered not eating made me lose weight, alot of weight and more ! Years of being made of for having a "fat" butt and having a "chest" now I was in control of what I looked like, so I thought. This body image thing haunts me still today.

I spent most of my life fearing people, new situations, speaking to others, being made fun of, being fat, being noticed.

I was about 39 ish when I changed, not sure why :) I just did.

Today I'm fat, I'm not shy, I like to talk to people. I still fear some stuff but I'm more likely to work through it than to avoid it. I no longer think I'm stupid and feel no one could possibly like me.

I think what is still with me from being teased is a 0 tolerance for bulling. :soapbox: and most likely some stuff I'm not aware of. ;)

Kids will and can find anything they want to use to pick on their peers and others. They are the ones with problems-think about that when the painful memories come back. Yes, they were horrible to you, but you took the higher moral ground.

I got teased for being skinny and flat-chested-moon-craters. It really doesn't matter what you are or look like, if they decide to bully you, anything will fuel them. They also laughed at me because I hadn't gotten my period yet and thought I didn't know what one was. It doesn't help when a teacher humiliates you too and you sit crying in class. Just gives them more fuel.

When it gets bad this line helps me, Don't let the b*****ds win! Don't give them the power to hurt you or keep you from achieving your goals. They are b*****ds, period.

My slight rant,
RADD

PS, if some of them could see me now-:D they would have to eat their words! I would serve those words to them on my best china! I don't mean just physical stuff either!

PS, if some of them could see me now-:D they would have to eat their words! I would serve those words to them on my best china! I don't mean just physical stuff either!


I'm with you !!! ;)