:mad: I am going to give a little background about my son Hunter. He started showing signs of defiance about 2 1/2 years old. I chalked it up to those "terrible two's". It continued and has gotten MUCH worse. He is now 7 going on 8 and I am at the end of my roap dealing with these behaviors. He started getting tested at age 3 in Florida...where I was told he had ADHD. However my son's father didnt want me to persue anything saying he was "fine". Upon entering Pre-K in NY ( also after leaving my ex) I was told that my son didnt have Behavior problems ...that I needed parenting classes. Now FINALLY I have a HUGE file of reports and complaints from teachers about his behavior. I just had him tested over the summer and was told he has ADHD and ODD. I have not gotten the final report yet...but should receive within the next 2 weeks or so. I am at a loss as what to do. I get the crap kicked out of me by my child. He is mean and violent to his brother and step-father. I can NOT go out in public without feeling like a COMPLETE ***. I have spoken to his doctor about medication and I was told "we dont like to sedate children". I am NOT looking to have my son drooling in a corner. I just want to be able to have 1 hour without the "Frantic" life I have become use to. My son goes to a school that likes to make their own rules. Their new student handbook mentions "corporal punishment", "strip searches" and even a little note about how a students haircolor can have disiplinary actions. I really need help knowing what my childs rights are. I would like thoughts and advise on medications that you might have information on. Any other information that you may feel helpful PLEASE post. THANK YOU!!!:o

this might be a place to start, if you have some patience with reading through a lot of info:

http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/ny.htm

and welcome to the forums.

Krashgirl, I am so sorry for the struggles of your family. I can't share anything about meds, but I do know of a family with an 8-year-old son with ADHD and ODD, just like your son, who was helped tremendously by the Dore Achievement Center's program. After completing the program which took about 18 months, their son no longer has these two diagnoses, is completely off his meds, and the family is doing wonderfully. There are some posts here on Dore if you do a search, or you can private message me if you would like more information, as DS is going to be starting up again in December after a 6-month hiatus.

I hope you find some answers that give your family and your son some peace.

Welcome to the forums and I'm sorry for the stuggle you're going through. I have an eight year old ADDer too, but she falls more on the anxious rather than ODD side of things, although all ADDers have their moments. Family counseling or parenting class aimed directly at helping you deal effectly with an ADHD/ODD child that is more difficult to parent than most parents can imagine might be helpful. Not because anything you did caused this, but because you have to deal with it every day and need all the support and information you can get your hands on.

There are some good books out there -- you might want to get your hands on a copy of Russell Barkley's (one of the acknowedged leaders in the field of ADHD) books Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior (this is also available as a video tape) and his book Taking Charge of Attention ADHD. If your local bookstore or library doesn't have them, you can order them from either of the sites listed in my signature space.

Take care and hang in there!

Scattered