Hi,all:

I've posted before about my 5.8 y/o son's ADHD.
Starting kindergarten has overwhelemed his limited ability to manage change, and he has quickly decompensated.

He's become frightenigngly violent -hitting us, throwing thngs at us, etc. He is in an utter panic when he knows it's time to get ready for school, And if he's told "no" , he goes on a destructive rampage. Last week he hit my husband in the face with a stick and scratched his cornea.

This is all new and horrible and frightening.

Our lives have ben turned upside down. Hours in the morning of tantrums and violence and restraining him ( I'm a therapist trained in CPI, but ohmigod, restraining your own son...).

In class, he's "just fine". Makes us look crazy, I'm sure. He has a 504 for his ADHD but doesn't need anything special *in school*. It's the transitioning that overwhelms him.

We have a great team: psychiatrist, developmental ped, as well as wrap-around sevices starting this week (in-home therapy and TSS), a social-skills training class.

Nobody's saying mood disorder/bipolar yet, though I do wonder. He's also got a r/o ODD dx, but he's not oppositional at school or with anyone other than us. Mostly, he's extremely ADHD, anxious, and incredibly unregulated.

We're changing his meds--starting Risperdal today, weaning Catapres patch in an effort to switch to Strattera (had complex tics on stimulants at age 4 and we were strongly advised to only go back to them as a last resort). He doesn't swallow pills so I haven't a clue how we'll manage the Stattera...

I write this to vent, but also to ask if any of your kids have this degree of violence when they melt-down.

When not upset, he's not violent, doesn't want to hurt us or anyone - it's where he goes in that terrified melt-down.

Anybody out there living anything like this?

Thanks for listening,
Amy

I really feel for you and wanted you to know that your child is not the only one that has these issues.

My 10yo daughter has some of the same issues with transitions but the frustration is what really sets her off. She used to get violent when in a rage (at home only; in school she is quiet and avoids bringing any attention to herself). She was getting worse and worse as the last school year progressed. It turned out that with the learning disorders and ADHD (newly diagnosed) she had developed anxiety and depression related to a very bad time at school (new school, failing grades, difficulty with school work and homework and teasing).

As soon as the anger would first start, I started calmly (this is hard) telling her that we would talk after she calmed down, giving her space (at least when I knew she was not going to hurt herself or destroy something) because my presence seemed to make things worse, then after she would calm down (sometimes an hour later) praising her for getting a handle on her anger. It was hard at first, but she did better and better until now she gets mad but does not go into a rage. Through the summer she has really changed, but school issues may start it up again. We now have a diagnosis of ADHD and ODD (with the other issues mentioned) and are trying medication to help with the school issues and she has an IEP for the learning disorders. So this may be a better year (fingers crossed) We are also on the lookout in case she has something like bipolar.

A long time ago (when she was 2), I started telling her what to expect for the day. If I did not do this, she would set up her own schedule (in her head) of things she expected to do (watch a particular TV show or watch tv all day, eat a particular food, play with a particular friend). Then when things did not happen according to the schedule she had in her head, she would get angry and refuse to do anything. This would lead to a very bad day.

I am glad you have a good team to help you through this. We did not seek much help until things got scary. Good luck.

I know how frustrated you feel....have a 6 y/o grandaughter that is extremely violent when she gets angry at home.....it's hard to deal with and I don't know what to do from one time to the next.....I've never dealt with a child that will hit you then go into screaming fits when you try to calm them down.....medications are Adderall XR and Risperdol........this is a fairly new medication regiment.....previously she was on Adderall XR, Tenex, Focalin, Depakote and Risperdol.....changed doctors because she was no better.....now this new medication for approximately 5 weeks.....some change for better, not much......

Thanks, Vickie. I needed to be reminded that we're not the only ones.

Although I usually (intellectually) know other people go through this, right now everyone around us looks so &^%$ normal- I cannot imagine that any other family on the planet had a morning like ours yesterday.

It's is just so, so hard here right now.

Each time he seems to be doing better we are lulled into complacency and then shocked that he looks so awful. We go in and out of denial, in and out of grief..I am frightened for him, for us.
If this is how he is when he's not even 6, what will he look like at 16?!


It's crazy-making that he's quiet, compliant and darling at school. I'm sure they half-believe we're making this all up. I know it's common for these kids to decompensate in the safety of home, but it makes us feel pretty crazy when we're the only ones who see the insanity.

We think/hope the new med regime will help calm him and help reduce his rigidity. He starts Risperdal tonight.


Anyway, thank you for giving me validation and I appreciate the air-time.
We're grateful for this forum.

Take care,
Amy



[QUOTE=Vickie]I really feel for you and wanted you to know that your child is not the only one that has these issues. BIG SNIP