My 7 year old with Adhd has just started second grade. I know this is a stressful time for him but he has such a thin skin when he becomes frustrated or embarassed. When this occurs, he begins to cry and cannot be consoled. He has to calm down by himself. I am glad he has the ability to calm down (it takes at least 10 min.) but it concerns me that he cannot verbalize his feelings before it gets to the point where he begins to cry. Approaching him just makes it worse. My main worry is that he will be picked on or made fun of for being a crybaby or otherwise. I just want him to be happy and it breaks my heart to see him crumble all the time. He has had at least 3 big meltdowns this week. The bus driver seems baffled by his behavior...two incidents were bus related. She isn't aware of his diagnosis. Should I tell her? He has little brother on the bus this year and I think it is stressing him out. Is the crying a common reaction for kids with ADHD or is it a normal 7 year old thing? By the way, he is gifted and has put very high expectations on himself and despises making mistakes which oftentimes seem to trigger his response.

Welcome. I would say this is pretty normal for a lot of the gifted/ADHD kids. Meltdowns of hysterical crying were pretty common for my Kid when she was younger...and they grew into meltdowns of wild anger as she got older.

It did seem to stem from the frustration at making mistakes for her when it was sobbing; and now it seems to stem from the misunderstanding she gets from other kids. She is extremely close to her gifted/ADHD group of friends and pretty disgusted with "normal" kids in general: she cannot relate to the "head games" kids play.

I would tell the bus driver. Then again, I tell everybody. I don't see ADHD as something to hide or something worthy of mockery from anyone. I have gone to bat for own kid very often and will continue to :D.

HTH!

Kids with ADHD wear their hearts on their sleeves. Medication helps.

My 7 year old with Adhd has just started second grade. I know this is a stressful time for him but he has such a thin skin when he becomes frustrated or embarassed. When this occurs, he begins to cry and cannot be consoled. He has to calm down by himself. I am glad he has the ability to calm down (it takes at least 10 min.) but it concerns me that he cannot verbalize his feelings before it gets to the point where he begins to cry. Approaching him just makes it worse. My main worry is that he will be picked on or made fun of for being a crybaby or otherwise. I just want him to be happy and it breaks my heart to see him crumble all the time. He has had at least 3 big meltdowns this week. The bus driver seems baffled by his behavior...two incidents were bus related. She isn't aware of his diagnosis. Should I tell her? He has little brother on the bus this year and I think it is stressing him out. Is the crying a common reaction for kids with ADHD or is it a normal 7 year old thing? By the way, he is gifted and has put very high expectations on himself and despises making mistakes which oftentimes seem to trigger his response.

I feel for him I was very much the same way as a kid.

I'm also a bus driver and I'd only tell the bus driver if you feel he or she is an understanding and caring who also understands ADHD. I hated riding the school bus as a kid, the sounds, all the kids, I worried every day I'd forget to get off at my stop and a few times I did due to day dreaming. I remember also feeling like crying because it felt like no one wanted to talk to me or sit with me.

Also kids say and do stuff that's not nice, that the bus driver doesn't always see or hear. The shy ones never tell me,they are the ones I watch more closely. I like to be sure I all ways speak to these children as the get on and off the bus, just a "Hi" or mention how I like their hat or shirt. I also sometimes ask these kids if they want to do a job for me like close a window or sit with someone.

I have a special spot in my heart for ADD, ADHD and shy kids ;) I wish I could say all bus drivers do but we all know they don't.

let me know if I can help

Thanks for the advice, I think I will give the bus driver a note about his ADHD and hopefully it will shed a little light on the situation for her. She seems to be caring but almost has written him up and gotten him expelled from the bus. To be fair, this was before medication. She tried to ask him if he was hurt or find out what happened but he wasn't ready to talk about it. Lo and behold, my son resolved the situation the next day on his own. I am extremely proud of the outcome and it seems that he has come out of the situation relatively unscathed. The boy who caused the crying fit, seems to now respect my son's wishes and used his manners to ask him to move to another seat instead of screaming MOVE! I am glad he wasn't made fun of or bullied due to his meltdown and the whole situation had a happy ending!

Sometimes they are not ready to open up and talk...I find that when my child comes in with a tearstained face, if I just say "Wow! Looks like something happened..." she will first respond with "I don't wanna talk about it!", and then later come back to me with her thoughts :).

I think that's good for her. Better she sort her own thoughts than let me sort them for her. If she needs advice, she asks for it now.

I too have a seven year old with Adhd in second grade, and from the description you gave, you could have been talking about my son! I try talking it out with him, I don't know if it is helping, but it calms him down. I stress that it's okay to get frustrated, but it isn't helpful to have a melt-down, I don't know how else to handle it myself. God made our children a bit more sensitive and, I think, more intelligent than most kids their age.

I have noticed stratterra makes kids more emotional, also if his meds are not working yet (he just took them,and they haven't had time to kick in) or they have worn off, or are starting to wear off that might be a more emotional time, too. I know that most meds are supposed to work for x amount of time depending on what it is, however I have noticed for my son, some work longer then suggested, while some don't seem to last as long.

Children with ADHD seem to be the odd ones out. I imagine being the odd one out would make anyone more emotional. So maybe the change of not having the same kids in his class, or a new standing socially at school might be part of it since it has been noticed mostly this year. We have had new challenges each year with my sons social life at school.

Maybe some therapy might help? They can help get to the root of the problem, and teach some social stratagies, and also help self esteme, and give positive reinforcement. I love therapy. Some people really dislike it, and think it means that they are crazy, or whatnot, but it is just extra help. With a child with special needs it is so good to have extra support, and positive adult role modles to rely on.

Good luck, I sure hope you, and your son are doing well. Jamie

I have a son who is turning 11. He used to exhibited crying but it would quickly turn to anger. He would have meltdowns or explosions. They would happen very quickly at which point he would become violent and totally outside of himself. He was not the same boy.

I read a book called "The Explosive Child" by Dr Ross Greene. Then my wife and I took a course called "managing meltdowns" The course modelled the book. My son only came for visits at the time but still had his explosions. I found what I learned from the book really helped out. I recommend it.

As for the meds, some made my son more sensitive and had plenty other side effects combined. Why put my son on something that made his fuse shorter than it already was or made him feel sick. We took him off all meds.

Eventually he came to live with my new wife and I. We were able to apply all we learned. It only brought him so far. He still had explosion just not as frequent. There had been many changes in his life. The doctors wanted us to consider meds again. I refused and put him on a natural juice that has made a very significant impact on his behavior, focus and emotions. He has been moved from a behavior class in school, and is now being integrated back into a regular class.

Doug