View Full Version : Girlfriend and Best Friend


Fawbio
09-20-06, 07:33 PM
Hey everyone...it's sad that I'm posting twice in the relationship forum, but I like to get some ideas other than my own.

Anyway, I have a problem...and it's happened before.

See, I asked out this girl I really like, and she was all for it, so we're together now. My only problem is, I don't have any classes or lunch periods with her, and my best friend has lunch and a couple classes....

She and he talk an awful lot, and she tells me stories about how funny he is all the time. They're always walking together in the halls to class together (since I'm normally goin the opposite way :(), and they have this great friendship going.

And some people even thought that THEY were going out....and since a lot of people don't know her, when I mention her name, they say "Oh that girl that hangs out with Eric all the time?"...it's really kind of upsetting for me to hear that, because she and I barely see each other except for at band practice after school and at church sometimes and stuff. We're going to homecoming together, but until then, we have nothing planned. We were going to find a time this weekend, but we have a big band thing that's going to take up so much time and we're not going to be albe to. So really, I only get to see her MAYBE 15 minutes a day.

So, to sum it all up, I guess I'm just a little jealous of her and my friend (because this same thing happened with a previous girlfriend of mine, and it didn't turn out so well)

I know he's not doing it on purpose, but he's gonna call me tonight and we're going to talk about it.

Please, what should I do?

(If they're hanging out, and I have a minute, I'll go over and talk with them, but that's very rare)

PS - My best friend also mentioned that today my girlfriend said something along the lines of "I look forward to walking to lunch with you every day" to him...:(


And she's not the type of girl that would cheat on me.

Again, please help :(

FrazzleDazzle
09-20-06, 07:41 PM
Faw, are you sure you two actually discussed being in a committed relationship together, or is she perhaps not a monogamous dater? This may be a stupid question, but if you have not out and out verbally spoken about NOT seeing others and seeing only each other exclusively, it may just be a missunderstanding. I'm much older than you, and this still happend at my age!

Or, maybe she really likes this guy as a friend only, and likes YOU as a boyfriend. I like all of my guy friends, and will not ever give them up for a boyfriend.

Either way, you two do need to talk and come to a clear undestanding of what you each want and expect so neither of you gets hurt. Good luck!

Fawbio
09-20-06, 07:44 PM
Hey, yeah we've flat out said that she and I are dating exclusively.

She even made a joke today about how someone thought she was going out with my friend and she was like "Umm...no..that would be Andrew (me)".

And I've known her longer than this guy. I introduced them actually...and I didn't think she really favored him that much over me.

And my best friend is already involved in a relationship and she knows that, so I don't see what that's all about.

Thanks for the reply...

FrazzleDazzle
09-20-06, 07:53 PM
Urgh! Well, if I were you, I wouldn't get jealous of it, and to just trust her word, unless or untill you have solid reason to not. Being unjustly jealous is not an attrative feature.

HOwever, you are justly concerned that she is spending lots of happy time with this guy. If she's just more into this guy, I'd hope she'd step up to the plate and not reel in your heart any further. I hope it works out ok for ya!

Aizlyne
09-20-06, 07:57 PM
It's a tough situation because you don't want to come off as jealous or possesive, because that could make her uncomfortable or push her away, however I think it's important that you talk to her about it somehow. but approach it in a more affectionate way.

Tell her somthing like "I wish I got a chance to spend more time with you, like, (friend's name)." Or "I miss talking to you during the day."

Letting her know that you miss her because you have feelings for her and not because you are jealous might make her think about you more and take into consideration how it makes YOU feel when she spends so much time with your friend, or when she talks about him when she's with you.

Hope this helps

sconard82
09-21-06, 12:26 AM
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I can guarantee that if you were walking in the hall with a female friend and genuinely enjoying her company, your girlfriend would suddenly pay much more attention to you between classes. The absolute worst thing you can do in a situation like this is project neediness.

Instead of worrying about how much time she's spending with someone else, focus on having a great time whenever you're hanging out with her. ADD is a huge gift. Use your spontaneity and always keep things interesting. Tease her occasionally, treat her like she's your bratty little sister. Remember how you treated girls when you were 6? Do that. Hang out with other people, enjoy life, do what makes you happy and invite her along for the ride. She's a guest in your reality, never forget that.

Just my two cents from years of learning the hard way and studying human interactions.

Fawbio
09-21-06, 08:04 AM
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I can guarantee that if you were walking in the hall with a female friend and genuinely enjoying her company, your girlfriend would suddenly pay much more attention to you between classes. The absolute worst thing you can do in a situation like this is project neediness.

Instead of worrying about how much time she's spending with someone else, focus on having a great time whenever you're hanging out with her. ADD is a huge gift. Use your spontaneity and always keep things interesting. Tease her occasionally, treat her like she's your bratty little sister. Remember how you treated girls when you were 6? Do that. Hang out with other people, enjoy life, do what makes you happy and invite her along for the ride. She's a guest in your reality, never forget that.

Just my two cents from years of learning the hard way and studying human interactions.This guy is a genious....

You should write an advice column. Thanks for the advice, man.

FrazzleDazzle
09-21-06, 08:36 PM
I do like the way Sconard worded that, and he is right on, good advice for girls and guys.

sconard82
09-25-06, 04:40 PM
So how is everything working out?

I'm glad I could help. :)

Fawbio
09-26-06, 10:18 PM
Things are perfect. I just played it cool and did my own thing but kept in sight of her...so she and i are really good now. I think she kinda understood that I was a little upset about it, and she still hangs out with him, (which i'm really cool with, because i do want my best friend and my girlfriend to get along), but she and I get our own time too...so thanks man for the advice.