So this kid has ADD and his parents are college PHD, Doctorate, MBA, you name it they have the title. So they expect him to walk in their path. But the kid has ADD and doesn't perform well in school at all even though he is exceptionally bright and everyone can see that. "He doesn't apply himself, he is lazy, he daydreams, etc". "But he's sooo smart."

The parents get so unbelievable frustrated with the kid because scholastics are their life and he "doesn't even care enough to try"? "He doesn't even care enough to work hard?" So they tear him down emotionally because all he wants to do is please his folks but he isn't "NOT TRYING" but they don't believe him.

But the poor kid is exasperated and torn down because he IS trying and he DOES care. He LOVES his parents and wants to make them happy. But he didn't even know that he forgot to study for the test or he didn't even remember that he forgot to do his homework. He doesn't even realize he is thinking about something totally different in class while the teacher is teaching. He doesn't even know. Does anyone know what I mean.

This is my life with ADD and my spouse. In her family, actions equate to love. So if you do all the things that someone asks you to, and then some, you must love them. But if you don't, then you obviousy don't care enough about your spouse to even think about them which means they aren't even important to you even though you are madly in love and would do anything for them. But like the kid, I didn't even remember that I forgot to do what ever the thing is on what ever day we are on.

Does anyone else feel this level of frustration? I mean, how do you explain this to them? I forget to do things for myself like 15 times a day. Does that mean I don't think about me or I don't love me? I mean, I don't get it. That doesn't go without saying that it isn't crazy stressful for the non ADD spouse but what do you do. I'm not on meds (which did help with focus but "threw off" our balance as a couple if that makes sense) so I make lists but then don't even remember that I forgot to look at my list. I am down to writing all over my hand or arm the important thing that I have to do.

Hi everyone. Please help with some input and it will be greatly appreciated !!