Hi guys. I've only posted here a couple of times, so I'm still a newbie. Forgive me if I ramble, but I guess that's part of ADD for some of us. :D

I'm 33 years old, married with one wonderful daughter. I was diagnosed with ADD last October, with less hyperactivity. About 28 % for memory which I believe. I currently take no meds. (I was scared away by the side-effects and a minor heart issue would surely flair up with the stimulants of some) I mainly take Omega 3, EFA's, and some others things, which helps somewhat. I may eventually try the non-stimulant med, but right now I simply can't afford it.

I've been dealing with this stuff for most of my life. I also have social anxiety. Which mostly is manageable, and I can interact mostly, but sometimes come across as weird. For the most part I'm a friendly, nice guy, and have a fair amount of friends. I like people, so that makes the SAD all the more upsetting.

I've recently decided to go back to school after working the usual string of dead-end jobs. Finding my place, or where my passion lies is a bit of an obsession. Regardless, I'm back in school and trying to deal with that. My master procrastination is starting to come back and here and there skipping school and putting off homework and studying. I'm doing much better than in the past, but it's tough as I'm sure most of you know. I've also meant to notify the disability Dept. at the school of my ADD just in case. But so far I've put this off and forgotten. At least one teacher is starting to give me trouble because I didn't read over the syllabus good enough and now it's a month into it. I am reluctant to throw out the ADD card to everyone, because frankly I don't think most of them understand or grasp the scope of this thing. Needless to say I'm frustrated after dealing with school.

Also out of work. Been trying to find more, and have an interview next week, but this has caused great strain on our finances as well as our relationship. My wife is very understanding most of the time, but sometimes seems like she doesn't even know I have ADD much less know what it is. I hate to have to bring it up from time to time, and mostly I just don't. I still get the speeches from my parents and wife at the age of 33 about how I need to try harder and so forth, and they are all well aware and supportive. lol I can only imagine how a stranger would take me discussing it with them.

I've made it part of the way through Driven to Distraction, but like the title always find something else to read or do. heh It's somewhat helpful, at least to put things in perspective, but it doesn't give me the support i need. I would love to enter some sort of counseling or support group, but I frankly can't afford it and have no insurance. I think that will change soon, but as of now, I can't.

I truly want to pull out of this muck and reach my potential. I'm tired of thinking about myself, worrying, and being ****ed off because I've wasted much of my life. I'm ready to do something fullfilling and something positive. I've allowed negativity, anger, and cynicism to take over a very nice, and at one point happy guy. I don't want to give up, but it seems like an uphill battle sometimes. I'm not going to give up, but I just need some direction.

What did it take for you guys to get going? What steps helped you the most? Do you ever truly make it out? I know there is no solid cure for ADD, but I also know it can be managed and beaten into submission for many. What do you guys recommend? Any feedback, similarities of experience, or comments on what I've written would be most appreciated. Thank you again for listening to me ramble on my life.

Daniel

I take a combination of the generic forms of wellbutrin (buproprion) and tenex (guanafacine). It costs about $20 a month for both meds (without insurance).

Beyond that I try to make sure I get plenty of sleep and I try to eat right (more or less).

Overall, my symptoms are much better than without the meds. I do wish my attention were a bit better, but it is much better than it was, so I guess I need to be happy with what I've got. The nice thing is that I have very few side effects. The tenex makes me a little sluggish sometimes, but I can reduce my daily total dose a little when I need to and it seems to work out okay.

Me :D

Hi Daniel,

You said you were a "nice and at one point happy guy." What happened that changed that.

Life, and all the frustration of trying to deal with social anxiety and ADD without knowing what was wrong with me. That turned into anger in general, cynicism, and now I can tell you about 100 ways that something can go wrong, opposed to what can go right, as an example. Feeling of loneliness when trying to figure out what was wrong, and no one understanding. I still get the lack of understanding even today. hehe That's some of it I suppose.

D

Well, I guess we all have good days and bad days. Sometimes it all seems pretty overwhelming. Didn't mean to come across as a whiner here. heheh It would be nice if one could deal with just the ADD though, and not the other strange things to accompany it like my Social Anxiety.

I was diagnosed with depression/social anxiety/agoraphobia about a year and half ago. Went through tons of anti-depressants that never helped. Ended up on a high dose of sedatives which work great for anxiety/agoraphobia but i was nowhere near a functional person. My doctors were as confused as i was and the general feeling was anti-depressants just were not for me. One day on a forum i read about inattentive add and brought one of my doctors a bunch of information on it. He was skeptical at first, the man runs a clinic for poor and homeless people so he's skeptical anytime someone brings up a condition that involves taking controlled substances.

Just the other day i was talking to him and he told me "three different people came into my office today telling me they had ADD, guess how many of them actually do? None, you're one of the very few if not only person i treat thats the real thing".

Anyway, we eventually did start treatment with stimulants and it was like night and day. I was able to sort of function, sure i still have anxiety but its managable. So right now im just sitting here wondering "where do i go from here?", its like being asleep your entire life and waking up suddenly. Its confusing and sort of disorientating, the possibilities seem limitless and daunting.

So yeah, dont give up hope there is a way out and it will eventually happen.

D.B. ,

Thanks for that post. I appreciate your frankness about your own experience. I guess we all need to hear it from people going through the same stuff sometimes. I understand what you mean about waking up and being lost. It's taken me a long time to get to where I am now. I first found Social Anxiety by accident on the internet. Not knowing it had a name, I was determined to figure out what was going on. And then, after reading the symptoms I was shocked that it matched me almost completely. The same with ADD. My mother, being a teacher, read some random literature that was passed around and it got her to thinking about me. After she mentioned it to me, I said nahh, I don't have that. I suppose at the time I was thinking hyper-active kids, and similar things. Then, as I began to read more and more I was again shocked. The diagnoses just clenched what I already knew.
Most of what I have is manageable, but I still obsess about my weirdness as viewed by others. I feel like a walking dichetomy. First, I have a enormous thirst for knowlegde, which is probably common with ADD, anyways, I have a great desire to learn many things, but find it hard to focus long enough to make it past a beginner level. Second, I love talking to and meeting new people, but I still have this Social Anxiety that freezes my brain to the point of not thinking of anything to say. It's madness. Knowing what I should do, but not having the motivation to do it, or being so distracted you can't. Even now, I was going to clean up a junk room, and take an online test, and study, but I've wasted most of the day away randomly surfing the web. Just ****es me off sometimes.
But all my ranting aside, if you haven't had any luck with your social anxiety I have something I purchased you may find beneficial. Not sure if they still sell them or not, but message me privately and I'll be happy to give you the info.

Sincerely,
Daniel