View Full Version : Feeling alone


AndreaPurple
10-09-06, 10:22 AM
I've been feeling very lonely lately. My husband supports me, but that's the only support I get. He's wonderful and all, but because he doesn't have ADD, he just doesn't totally get it.
I was only diagnosed 3 weeks ago and I just started realizing I had ADD a few months ago. I was put on Welbutrin 3 weeks ago and so far it is not doing anything good for me. Quite the opposite really, I have been so irritable and the past couple days I've been feeling pretty depressed. I've had days like this before, so the depression itself is not unusual, but for me it usually only lasts a day and it's gone. Well this time it's sticking around. I go back to the doctor a week from today, I just hope I'll be ok till then, I want to stick it out with these meds until then and see what he suggests. At this point I really don't want to go without meds, I've done that for the past 37 years and I am tired of being this way. I'm tired of being labled as lazy, unorganized, unmotivated, irresponsible, etc.!!
I am just feeling so crappy and so alone right now.
I live in MA, north of Lowell, close to the NH border, does anyone know of a group near by or is there anyone in my area who would like to chat. I think what I really need right now is someone who totally understands what I am going through.

Crazy~Feet
10-09-06, 03:55 PM
Welcome Andrea :) there are many people here at ADDF who understand just how you feel. You are in the right place, dear. I have little support myself and this is my online home.

AndreaPurple
10-09-06, 04:44 PM
Thanks Crazy Feet!
It helps some to know I can come here, but honestly I just really need a girlfriend right now to talk with on the phone and stuff. My closest friend right now is a guy and he gets the whole ADD thing and is soooooooo supportive and is great to talk to, but he's a guy.
You girls know what I'm talking about, right?
It's a girl thing.

speedo
10-09-06, 06:08 PM
Tell the doc that the wellbutrin is causing anger. By now you should have had some effect, so maybe it is time to discuss something new with your doc.

ME :D

VisualImagery
10-09-06, 06:11 PM
AP,

You are adjusting your diagnosis. You will go through the stages of grief while actually being glad for the diagnosis. It is a mixed up time emotionally! It is easy to feel alone when you have ADD-or any disability. Other people have a hard time understanding differences. So many of us know and understand exactly what you are feeling.

You are very open about you life and struggles and I thank you for sharing. It takes a lot of courage to be honest and transparent!

I am 52, and was dx'd @ 4 years ago, on meds 2.5 years! On the right dosage, about 3 months!

We are here when you are lonely!
RADD-Becky

speedo
10-09-06, 06:35 PM
I went through several stages of accepting my adhd.

First , I was concerned because I did not know what was wrong with me. After I went to my MD and he diagnosed me with "Add-like symptoms" and placed me on medication, I then went through a period of being fascinated with ADHD. I read everything I could about it and was like a kid with a new toy... mostly because I have a curious mind.

After the newness wore off, I realized that I had a disorder that was very real, and that it was not going away, ever. For about a month, I was quite depressed.

Eventually I rebounded and decided to do what I could about it. I educated myself about adhd. I sought out a psychological testing and a formal diagnosis. I explored all of the various possible causes for ADHD symptoms , and ruled them out one by one. This was a time for me to learn about my strengths and weaknesses.

I went to therapy. I discovered that I had other disorders than just adhd, and accepted the fact. After I got a formal diagnosis I sought out a psychiatrist to treat my adhd. I started on new medications, and things got better.

Now, I'm at a stage where I am in a "maintennence mode". I am caring for my adhd, with the help of my doctor.

From the first tenative diagnosis to now has been about a year and a half. It seems a lot longer...

It takes a long time to sort all of these things out... and the process is onging.. it never really stops.

I still have adhd, I still have my share of problems, but I am living my life, with all the usual ups and downs that people with our neurology have... life is not too bad at the moment.

Me :D

AndreaPurple
10-09-06, 09:30 PM
Thank you all! You are all so nice here and have made me feel so welcome! I am so glad I found this place, I am learning a lot here.
I am now realizing, after reading the replies to this thread and another I posted, that I am in the greiving stage, I didn't know anything about that until I came here.
Thanks again!

EYEFORGOT
10-09-06, 10:23 PM
Well, I'm a New Englander, a re-transplanted Connecticut-ite. pm or e-mail me anytime.

Girlfriends and Sister-Chicks are vital to our sanity!!! Go for a scrapbooking night, (or host one once the kids are in bed), join a community theater (thespians are notoriously unstable both mentally and emotionally, trust me), volunteer for something, anything, even if small that can get you meeting others and have "you time". We need something inspiring to bring out the passion in us all, it makes our lives more colorful and happy.

AndreaPurple
10-10-06, 10:07 AM
Well, I'm a New Englander, a re-transplanted Connecticut-ite. pm or e-mail me anytime.

Girlfriends and Sister-Chicks are vital to our sanity!!! Go for a scrapbooking night, (or host one once the kids are in bed), join a community theater (thespians are notoriously unstable both mentally and emotionally, trust me), volunteer for something, anything, even if small that can get you meeting others and have "you time". We need something inspiring to bring out the passion in us all, it makes our lives more colorful and happy.
I have a really hard time making new friends, I am pretty shy. It's funny, I am just now realizing that all my very closest friends I made through school when I was younger and when I was older they were all through work, coworkers. I am not a social person, not because I am a snob, but because I just don't have the confidence. I am afraid that I will make a friend and not be able to meet their needs, it's happened to me many times already. I am just not a thoughtful person, being spoiled as a kid and having parents and 3 siblings doing everything for me, I never learned how to do things for myself, therefor I am not much help to others. There wasn't a lot of affection in my house, never heard I love you from my dad, and rarely from my mom.
I'm in therapy and working on these issues and I just started meds a few weeks ago, still waiting for them to kick in. So hopefully I will overcome some of these fears, but it will take time.

fasttalkingmom
10-10-06, 09:17 PM
I live in MA, north of Lowell, close to the NH border, does anyone know of a group near by or is there anyone in my area who would like to chat. I think what I really need right now is someone who totally understands what I am going through.

Hi Andrea, I'm Paula 43 married with 2 daughter's ages 16 and 11. I'm closer to Salem Mass. which is kinda in your area.

Lowell is about a 35 min. drive for me. Not sure what kind of help that is to you.

I had the some kind of troubles with the well.

fasttalkingmom
10-10-06, 09:28 PM
Well, I'm a New Englander, a re-transplanted Connecticut-ite. pm or e-mail me anytime.

I didn't realize you lived in my area of the world....cool ;)

AndreaPurple
10-11-06, 08:01 AM
I didn't realize you lived in my area of the world....cool ;)
Hey, maybe the 3 of us should get together!!! LOL
I'm half kidding, I just don't know when I'd have the time, but who knows, maybe we could make it happen.

EYEFORGOT
10-11-06, 10:12 AM
I just moved back. I've been down south for the last 12/13 years. Now I have to get rid of my southern drawl.

Crazy~Feet
10-11-06, 01:53 PM
I just moved back. I've been down south for the last 12/13 years. Now I have to get rid of my southern drawl.When you get rid of yours, can I get rid of mine? Please?

And now back your regularly scheduled thread. I am hoping Andrea feels more supported today :).

AndreaPurple
10-11-06, 02:25 PM
And now back your regularly scheduled thread. I am hoping Andrea feels more supported today :).

I feel a little bit better today, I was really depressed for 2 days, I think I just had too much on my plate with just finding out I have ADD, starting a med and to top it off, I got my "you know what" the other day!!

peridot
10-11-06, 02:40 PM
Have you ever noticed how the "you know what" always comes at the most inconvenient time? Especially if your period is, like mine used to be, ADD and couldn't keep track of a 28 day schedule (or a 33 day, 52 day, 19.5 day etc.)

Whoops, just noticed this was the Massachusetts thread. I went to college in Vermont about 6 miles from the Mass border, does that count?

AndreaPurple
10-11-06, 05:03 PM
Have you ever noticed how the "you know what" always comes at the most inconvenient time? Especially if your period is, like mine used to be, ADD and couldn't keep track of a 28 day schedule (or a 33 day, 52 day, 19.5 day etc.)

Mine is exactly the same!! Mostly it's longer then 28 days but lately it's been 26, 27. Yeah, ya just never know for sure when it will arrive!!

Whoops, just noticed this was the Massachusetts thread. I went to college in Vermont about 6 miles from the Mass border, does that count?
It's ok with me!!:)

VisualImagery
10-11-06, 05:32 PM
"You know what" can really mess you up! So can forgetting your Estrogen Replacement Therapy-but it is not like You know What, thank goodness, Hysterectomies are nice, by my What was Hell for too many years!

Glad you are better. I had a bad day yesterday-friends on the forum really helped me! Just knowing someone is there and cares-even if they can't change a thing, is a precious thing! Don't forget that the next time you have a tough time! They come and go and sometimes sneak up on you when you least expect it.

And you are a server-my kudos! It is a hard job! Do you love it? Or dream of doing something else?

RADD

AndreaPurple
10-11-06, 06:47 PM
"You know what" can really mess you up! So can forgetting your Estrogen Replacement Therapy-but it is not like You know What, thank goodness, Hysterectomies are nice, by my What was Hell for too many years!

Glad you are better. I had a bad day yesterday-friends on the forum really helped me! Just knowing someone is there and cares-even if they can't change a thing, is a precious thing! Don't forget that the next time you have a tough time! They come and go and sometimes sneak up on you when you least expect it.

And you are a server-my kudos! It is a hard job! Do you love it? Or dream of doing something else?

RADD
Thanks Radd, I do appreciate this place and all the caring people here, who know what I'm going through.
Yes I am a server and I do work my butt off. I do NOT love it! It is only what I can do for now, the money can be good (although not always) and you can't make that kind of money working a min. wage job which is all I am qualified to do (never went to college). Yes, I do dream of doing something else, either something with computers, not sure what, or dietition/nutritionist.