Hi just need some input from others on what is going on in my world!

First, my sons ped. is not "up" on ADD and our family dr. as well. They have some knowledge but not enough, like what I read about in here. We have been referred to an ADD specialist but my husband has only been able to see him twice and my son once!! Still waiting to get back in!!!!! Could be months!!

I really liked his knowledge of meds and what is his optimum goal in using them (helping ADD symptoms in all aspects of daily life, not just school or work!!) and how to help the ADDers deal with their symptoms. We haven't got that far though.

The meds my son are on don't seem to be helping him at home (teacher says he is fine but this is a new teacher and he doesn't feel comfortable yet)
I want to try new meds but his ped. treats me like I am some kind of pill pusher wanting to tranquilize my son!!! He is only concerned with school.

I went to our family dr. in tears of frustration asking for some kind of help. She said she doesn't know enough about the meds for ADD so she can't help! I am so frustrated in talking to people who truly have no idea what it is like to live with an ADDer (or 2!) Told her that I felt I wanted to leave home etc, then she started asking me about my past etc,etc,(nothing extreme from anyone else I know) for her to conclude that I have deeper issues than just dealing with a son and husband with ADD and I should see a therapist!!! Well I said I would if I or we could get in to see an ADD therapist. She told me that it isn't important about the ADD!!!

I wanted to reach out a smack her!!! She doesn't get it!!

We had an appointment with my sons ped. and I was telling him how the Concerta (changed from Adderall) wasn't helping with alot of symptoms like organization,eye contact,etc at home. He said "If he isn't having problems at school then its fine!!" I said that the Adderall at least was helping with them! He said that we can't go back and forth from Adderall and Concerta!! I expressed the importance of the meds working at home and he didn't care. Then I told him I am at my wits end! I am feeling I want to leave home! He then said "I need counselling and this is what my sons problems are about!!"
No, the ADD is what is causing the problems!!!!!! And I am trying to get the symptoms reduced so I can help him!!!But I can't if his symptoms are making me crazy!!!!!
He has only tried Dexedrine, Adderall and now Concerta and he says I have to just pick one and stick with it and oh well !!!!! They all worked for a while with different side effects and amounts of helping with symptoms.

But I guess all this venting is to ask if anyone else (non-ADDer) feels that they are the ones that are treated like they are the problem!! I can't help but feel like I am banging my head against a wall trying to make people understand what I am going through having to be the one to deal with it all and try and keep my sanity!!!
Any comments would be appreciated!!
Thanks mrs A

See if you can get heavy buy-in from your husband. Has he read some of the good books (Driven to Distraction, etc.) and does he really believe it's a problem for him? Even if he doesn't, he needs to be doing this for his son. You already know the state of knowledge about this in the medical field is just awful. Some people don't "believe" in it....hahaha. We're in a big city and finally found a psychiatrist to give my husband drugs to try, but he really had to go to a psychologist for counseling. He's had ADD for a long time and needs therapy. We're both going now. Obviously you need to find a good doctor somewhere (my cousin with ADD lives in Baltimore and goes to someone wonderful at Johns Hopkins) -- but I think it needs to be your husband out there doing battle. I"m so sorry you have to go through this and we all can understand your frustration. Don't give up!

I completely understand your frustration. I feel like I am alone in this same battle all the time. I don't think until other people walk a mile in our shoes that they will ever get it.

Upon my urging, my husband was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 38. Now, he's had this his whole life, but no one else has ever bothered to think anything is wrong with him. His mother, who lives about 200 miles away, lends no support to my efforts to help him increase the quality of his life. Her exact words are "well, I don't see that side of him". Well, of course not! You only see him for a day or so 7 or 8 times a year. I feel bad for him that his mother can be so ignorant. So of course, I am sure....at least I feel like it...that she and the rest of his family blame me for all his problems...his depression, anxiety, anger, etc. It must all be me.

And my husband also tends to play the blame game alot too. Sometimes he is on board with getting treated, other times he thinks it's all BS. So, I have no idea what he thinks of it from one day to the next, or if he'll stay in treatment, and be consistent with his meds, etc.

What I have learned is to forget all those people. I don't even try anymore to get support from them. I rely on my friends that believe me, and I rely on counselors, and this forum, and I am trying to find a local support group.

You will drive yourself mad trying to get 'unbelievers' to understand. There are plenty of people out there that get it. Hopefully you can get your husband to understand as well. There are plenty of books out there to help too. And feel free to vent on this forum. Good luck!

Thank you both alagirl and KMwife!! You words are appreciated and it truly does help when you here that there are others out there going through the same things! We don't have any support groups here for non-ADDers. There was but I spoke to the lady that ran it and she said the turn out wasn't there. Too bad for me! but talking with her did help me calm down. My husband can't read books! He just gets lost and doesn't have the patience which is unfortunate but its the ADD thing, I understand that.
How long have you both been married for? Just wondering because we have been together for 23 years now and I can believe it!! Actually its only been the past 2 years that have been the absolute worst. He changed his career to management! Much more focus needed so less is for us at home.
Hope to be able to "talk" with you again. Seems like we live similar lives!
Thanks
Mrs A