View Full Version : ADHD/ODD Tunnel... Is there an end in sight?


JudesMc
10-17-06, 10:45 AM
Hello good people!
I am a mom of two children with ADHD, one who also has ODD. that would be my 10 year old son. you will be hearing a lot about him Im sure.
He is actually the reason I searched for this kind of forum.
He has always been a difficult challenge, since birth. A very unhappy baby. He has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD in thelast year. Yep meds were given Risperdol for ADHD and Seroquil for sleep disorder. After a few months of increasing the meds to adult dosages and the refusal of the DR to change the meds he is unmedicated. I saw no change in the child while he was medicated and the Dr didnt want to try any new meds.
Of course the ODD magnifies his problems. The professionals he sees can only suggest inpatient care. Im not ready to go that way. We have tried and still trying behavioral modification. Some days I think we make great strides others I feel I have gone 2 miles backwards. He is very violent with his younger brother, disrespectful to all adults, does not care a bit about school. He has been stealing things that matter to people but nothing of interest to him. It is thought that he does this stealing thing to get even in some way with the person because he only steals from people he doesnt like. Is the only option inpatient care?
I feel like Im at the end of my rope. Any suggestions wil be greatly appreciated.
Judy

Ladie_Oz
10-17-06, 10:17 PM
Please know that you are not alone! My daughter at the age of 10 sounds like she could be your son's twin. At 10, her diagnosis was ADD & ODD. I too have been at the end of my rope many times. She was also disrespectful to all adults and physically abusive to her brother. We tried everything with her... medication, therapy, behavior modification, rewards systems.. you name it. Inpatient is not the only option, but please remember that it is an option. Around the age of 12 or 13, my daughter started running away. She started carving things on her body. She became increasingly violent with her brother and had pulled a knife on me. I was afraid of her to the extent that I would rig the bedroom door at night with cans that had coins in them so it would make a lot of noise if she came in my room while I was asleep. The therapist suggested inpatient treatment for her. It was a very difficult decision, but for my son's safety and mine, and also for my sanity, I let them admit her. She was in the hospital for 35 days and they were able to take her off of the meds she had been on and had found some that worked better for her. They added bipolar to her diagnoses. They also involved the family in her treatment by having family sessions once a week. When she got released and came home, things were alot better. She continued to go to therapy for a year after she got out. Of course we had our good days and our bad days, then about 3 years later, she quit taking meds and things got really out of control and worse than ever before and she ended up hospitalized again - primarily because of cutting herself. She was hospitalized for almost 6 months that time and was given a couple more diagnoses. Since then she has been doing alot better. She has learned how to deal with things in a more productive way. She can still be very defiant and oppositional.. sometimes over nothing.. She is 22 now and she has her own apartment and a full time job, so I would have to say .. there Is light at the end of the tunnel.

scuro
10-17-06, 10:47 PM
The best place for any behaviour kid is in his own home and his home school. That is not always possible but it is the best place. Monitor him as close as possible, keep him busy, watch for free time and transitions...try not to take him out in public. Most importantly, hire or look for help from friends and relatives. It's like a two person job and you need to recharge your batteries two.

JudesMc
10-23-06, 06:02 PM
Thank you so much for the responses. Ronnie my 10 year old hasnt cut himself or anything like that yet but has many times stated that he hated himself so i fear that the day will come that he does start to hurt himself. He is now under the care of yet a new therapist. Seems in this area they want to discharge them from treatment before they are truely ready. She is pushing hard for inpatient treatment for him and I just dont know that Im ready to throw in the towel so to speak.
and yes there are many nights that I crawl into the tub and cry. Im a single mom and the father doesnt recognize the challenge. In fact he says nothing is wrong with either of the boys. He isnt around much, maybe once a month for a couple of hours so what does he know. I do have a friend that tries to help but she doesnt understand that you cant just spank him and expect he wont repeat his actions. More times than not, when given a spanking he is worse than he was to get the spanking. I dont know that I said that right i hope you understand what I meant LOL.

I just started seeing this new guy... his name is Chris... he came to the house on Sunday for the first time to meet the boys and Ronnie was horrible I was so embarrased. Of course Chris has heard what a difficult time I have with him via phone but the way Ronnie acted just mortified me. I just wanted to crawl under the floor and disappear. Chris of course was an angel about it but I wanted to just die. I shouldnt have to go out of the home to enjoy the company of someone. But that is how I felt on Sunday. I want to share my friends with my children... but I felt like running away from home.

You guys have a great evening!!
Talk soon!
Judy

JudesMc
10-27-06, 02:02 PM
What am I gonna do?
the other day ronnie was just fine, everything was going fine. Then like the change of the wind he was horrible!! I didnt see it coming. I am usually in tune to what triggers him. But this time I dont know It was as if something evil entered his body and went wild. He told me he hated me he went off on the fact that my new male friend was coming over for dinner and called him a freak of course my friend was on the phone at the time and heard what was said. I really dont know what to do.
After that outburst I called his spe#$ donner (bio-father) and asked him to come get him for a while. He of course said he didnt have time and couldnt get him this weekend either.
To make matters worse... as if they could be... I am trying to quit smoking. Big huge joke... my nerves are shot!!!
I am still trying to find something anything to praise him for but it is getting harder and harder. He asked me last night why we didnt have son mother days any more. My answer was too quick. I said because i dont want to. I shouldnt have said that. But its the truth. I dont everytime I try to have son mother days it is a battle. It is harder to have a good time with him than it should be. I shouldnt have to search as hard as I do for something possitive in a person. He takes our son mother days and turns them into a war. Id rather do nothing. I am so not looking forward to Halloween. another battle zone coming up. Thats all I can see. I use to get so excited about Halloween and taking the children around the neighborhood. I do not want to take him. It will be like last year. He didnt want to go to the houses I chose he didnt want to say thank you he was rude. He punched his brother in the stomache because he got to the door first. Whats up with that... who cares who gets to the door first? I just dont want to subject myself to that... of course I will.
I NEED A BREAK FROM THIS KID!!!!!!
He got into trouble again at school. He isnt like other kids getting into fights no... he steals. he takes things that dont make any sense. He took a sweat shirt that was too small for him. whats up with that?
Good grief!!!!
I am suprised I have any hair left on my head.
thanks for listening
Judy

scuro
10-27-06, 08:56 PM
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26290&highlight=barkley+positive

Check this thread out. Lots of evidence based strategies for raising difficult ADHD kids. Hang in there!!

JudesMc
10-28-06, 10:41 AM
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26290&highlight=barkley+positive

Check this thread out. Lots of evidence based strategies for raising difficult ADHD kids. Hang in there!!
Thanks Scuro Ill go right now!!!
Judy