I have been somewhat overwhelmed with what I have come to call a "Mental Cloud". Throughout my life I have always been told I have great potential; I still have a very clear memory of a discussion I had with my 6th grade teacher. I would generally get anywhere from Cs to As on my report card and usually get higher scores on tests. One day during the school year the class took a professiency assessment test and once the results were in my teacher was very suprised as I scored in the 98th percentile (Which was somewhat contradictary with my school preformance as I generally never completed homework assignments, etc.). This event would repeat itself throughout my life; The most recent example would probably be a few years ago when I was taking my highschool SATs in which I scored a 1200 with no studying and very little sleep the day beforehand. I came to this forum to see if I should get diagnosis after seeing very mixed results after returning to college after a 1 year break (My studies are very hit-or-miss; I either get an A in the class or outright fail). I've often heard and even made poked-fun at the amount of over-diagonsis when it comes to ADD; So I am now finding it very ironic that I may be diagnosed. After doing some research on symptoms of Adult ADD I have found myself with the following list:

(Bold = A very strong convinction / frequent occurance, Not bolded = (un)/common conviction / once in a while or semicommonly, Italics = Rare conviction / rare occurance)
Horrible memory
History of not living up to potential in school or work
Short attention span, unless very interested in something
Lacks attention to detailTrouble listening carefully to directions
Frequently misplaces things
Skips around while reading, or goes to the end first, trouble staying on track
An internal sense of anxiety or nervousness
Impulsive Spending
Lying or stealing on impulse
A prisoner of the moment
Poor organization and planning, trouble maintaining an organized work/living area
Chronically late or chronically in a hurry
Often have piles of stuff
Easily overwhelmed by tasks of daily living
Poor financial management
Chronic procrastination or trouble getting started
Starting projects but not finishing them, poor follow through
Inconsistent work performance
Enthusiastic beginnings but poor endings (When writing)
Chronic sense of underachievement, feeling you should be much further along in your life than you are
Chronic problems with self-esteem
Sense of impending doom
Negativity (Over the past year I have forced myself to be positive, so I am unsure of how to rate this)
Feeling of demoralization or that things won't work
Trouble sustaining friendships or intimate relationships
Trouble with intimacy
Tendency to be immature
Avoids group activities
Trouble with authority (Being an adult I have learned to deal with it)
Tendency to worry needlessly and endlessly
Tendency toward addictions
Switches around numbers, letters or words (This is something that has started to happen somewhat recently but not very frequently; My mother does this extremely often)
Poor handwriting, often prints (I have adopted a neat handwriting somewhere around Middle School by forcing myself to take the time necessary to make things neat)
Test anxiety, or during tests your mind tends to go blankFalls asleep or becomes tired while reading
Difficulties falling asleep, may be due to too many thoughts at night
Difficulty coming awake
Periods of low energy
Frequently feeling tired
Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time
Often loses things needed for tasks and activities
Often talks excessively (Situationally)
Often blurts out answers before questions have been finished (Situationally)
Often has trouble waiting one's turn (Situationally)
Often interrupts or intrudes on others (Situationally)
uncontrolled arousal
feeling overwhelmed
unwilled tuning-out
quick anger (When I am criticized)
pressured rapid-fire speech, seemingly random and aimless hopping from one topic to the next
procrastination - difficulty starting tasks
insecurity and self-esteem issues because of unmet high personal expectations
high achiever, even overachiever, but with poor self-image because of beliefs that more could be accomplished if not for disorganization
Often called lazy and unmotivated.
tends to be quiet, shy or withdrawn
social skills problems
unaware of time
Makes mediocre grades or all A’s
Has short-term and working memory problems
Emotional Ups / Downs
Listening the same song over and over again till you dont like it anymore
talking to yourself
problems confiding in others

(The above criteria was taken from http://www.oneaddplace.com/ & http://www.addforums.com)

The more I read about the symptoms and other people's stories the more and more I feel like this may be the cause for a lot of the problems that I have encountered in my life at one point or another. I've generally been standoffish when it comes to taking actions on this type of thing (Ie: If I'm sick I'll just wade it out instead of doing to a doctor) but I am at a crossroads in my life; I'm 21 and attending a college that I know is below my standards. I want to lead a fulfilling, successful, and rewarding life; I have aspirations of becoming a doctor but with the above symptoms it seems like it is a pipe dream. Should I get diagnosed? Will getting a diagnosis be detrimental to my collegic and professional aspirations (I've been thinking of making an appointment with a neuroligist as to avoid it seeming like a mental-health issue). I am egarly awaiting a reply or two. Thank you for taking the time to help me out.

I have no authority to say if you have ADD/HD or not. All I can say is I sympathize with you because I am too going through this (not knowing for sure yet). I have not been to the doctor, actually I have been putting it off for so long now. I am going tomorrow, can't take it anymore, have to get help and I feel like I know enough to be able to have a conversation with the doctor about ADD/HD.

If you are not ready to go see a doctor yet, just browse around and post your feelings and thoughts here on the form, you should get a good response. Ever since I found this site, it has given me strength. (thank goodness for the internet for this reason at least).

A lot of people just need that extra push to help themselves sometimes. Good luck to you.

Kidotakon, this is so great. This is like getting to look at myself 20 years ago and give the advice I {wish, oh, do I wish} someone had given me, if anyone had known much about ADD back then. Only I didn't call it a mental cloud, I called it a brain cloud or fog. :) Our test results are very similar, and your challenges sound oh so familiar.

SO here's the deal.
1) You have ADD (or similar condition), or you don't.
2) Whether you have ADD or not,the things you feel might be symptoms of ADD are affecting your life and keeping you from being what you could be. Right?

So there are two approaches to a solution: One is pursuing a diagnosis or treatment. (You may be able to get help without actually going for a dianosis. I'll explain that in a minute.)

The second is getting the tools you need to make your life what you want, whether it's ADD or not. If it's ADD, normal time management / motivational stuff won't do much. You have to get specialized. Trust me on this one.

Your other issue, of course, is privacy and how this will affect your future opportunities.

My advice?
1) Do what you're doing--learning about ADD is great. You'll be getting a good sense one way or another about whether that's your problem. Check out Lew Mill's website at www.millsconsulting.com (http://www.millsconsulting.com/). It will answer your questions about why a person might seek therapy for ADD, what they might work on, what to expect... and how to do it long-distance if that's your preference. His "articles about adult ADHD" practical approaches and philosophical perspectives will give you a lot of info if you're trying to decide what you want to do about ADD.
2) Pretend for the moment you definitely have ADD and get started using ADD-friendly techniques to get control of your scholastic life and motivate yourself on the hard and boring stuff. You'll benefit even if it turns out you don't have ADD. "ADD-friendly ways to organize your life" by Kolberg & Nadeau is a real eye-opener as to what you're up against if you do have ADD, along with great techniques to work with your challenges. This book is especially good if you're high-IQ, chances are your ways of coping with any limitations you have are too complicated (brilliant, maybe:), but what the ADD'er needs is easier.) It's a fun book, easy read.

Now about privacy. Some people prefer to self-pay rather than have information sent to their insurance, which may contribute info to a national database. I really don't know if that's a realistic concern or not. If you go to a neurologist, 2 things might happen. 1) If you're bright and they aren't skilled with ADD, they might not recognize it. 2) They might recognize it just fine, and you still have a diagnosis of ADD. Whether that carries less stigma if diagnosed by a neurologists than a psychologist/psychotherapist, I don't know. Some people are diagnosed by their GP. Hopefully anyone whose options have been limited by a diagnosis will speak up here. But if you're diagnosed with ADD, you don't have to tell the whole world.

But look at it this way. If you have ADD and you don't get it diagnosed, it may not ever matter if you had been to a 'mental' doctor or not. Your ADD may limit more than the 'stigma' ever could. Your opportunities may just... not happen, at least not like you had hoped, when maybe a simple med or a some behavioral adaptations would have let you excel. OR... you could go to the doctor and find out you don't have ADD, in which case you can dump this whole project and get down to working on what you really do have, which could be some really simple non-brain-related thing. Avoiding a diagnosis might be kinda like deciding not to drive because you might have an accident.... you're overlooking the possibility of freedom and the foundation for a more successful life.

You have the option of just hiring an ADD coach. Skip the diagnosis, get the assistance. Or going to a therapist for behavioral coaching on a specific skill (getting your assignments done on time, for instance. The Mills Consulting site has a list of specific skills people might ask for help on.) But a good therapist is going to at some point make a diagnosis if you have ADD.

Now about the matter of a 'mental' illness or disability. I admit that's a tough pill to swallow. Here's what will make you feel better about it: educate yourself about the physical causes. To some people it sounds better to say "my brain doesn't process glucose like it should" than to say "I have ADD." Your choice. But check out the section of the forum for ADHD/ADD scientific discussions and look for articles or research projects. One of the threads lists this AWESOME video http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1756566292420454238&q=ADhD&hl=en Ok, so it's LONG. But it has a lot of information you won't get easily except from an ADD medical specialist.

From experience I need to tell you this: You're smart, and you can probably fake it or make things fall together at the last minute when you have to, but doing it that way means your energy is going toward maintaining, not toward moving ahead. In the long run, not good. You fall too far behind. If it's really ADD, eventually you will wish you had just dealt with it. :soapbox: Ok, end of soapbox.

All my classmates knew I had a brilliant future. And all those kids whose goal in life was to beat my test scores,... well they did have brilliant futures. Their decisions affect people's lives, university branches, even the global econonmy. And me? Well, diagnosis is the door that opens the possibility of retrieving some of what might have been. Life is good. What I do is rewarding and important. But it's very limited compared to what it should have been, thanks to that frustrating 'mental cloud' you mentioned.

Best wishes with your life. Congrats on recognizing where your life could be better and doing the research to make it happen. Let us know how it goes!

Thank you very much for your post. This is my first posting here on this board. I am 30 now and just realised a few years back that I have ADD without hyperactivity. It was more of a self diagnosis and had to approach three senior docs before they confirmed my condition.

My father is a doctor but he completely missed this diagnosis.I am a doctor myself but I struggled my way through medical school.

All these years of feeling guilty for underperfomance have disappeared but I do feel a bit handicapped.

As of now I have not started any medication.I am trying to find out an alternative medicine approach to handling but I really feel ****** with myself and my dad for not diagnosing my problem early enough although the signs were quite 'palpable.' I was accused time and again of being disinterested and lazy while the truth is it was plain inattention.

Will post more in coming weeks until then thank you for this lovely forum !!

Ciao

Rahul