Is it easy for you or is it hard? For me? It's a nightmare, I know what I want to say.. its there but it never comes out. It comes out in the context of a 3rd grader or something, and this really effects me socially...PPl think im really stupid or somethings wrong with me. I think its partly b/c i cant carry on 1 train of thought while speaking...so i just stop. But even when I can, its like my vocabs limited and i make really wierd mistakes and flip every. Like i said i tlk like a kid. I HATE IT. If you guys have similar or have done anything to improve or something, drop few words of advice or expirence
thanks
Wonderland

Hello Wonderland

Yes I can relate. I have a hard time with spoken words, I reverse somethings I say, my vocab seems childish when I speak too. this causes me a great deal of anxiety. Waiting in lines drives me up the wall too..oops off topic.

I just have a hard time trying to get what is so simple in my mind out of my mouth.

Advice? I find that if I pause for a few moments and really think about what I am going to say before I say it helps, as long as I am not in a anxious mood, or feel like I am on a stop watch to speak.

Best of luck, you are not alone, a lot of people here to help maybe you will get some better advice. Hang in there.

Is it easy for you or is it hard? For me? It's a nightmare, I know what I want to say.. its there but it never comes out. It comes out in the context of a 3rd grader or something, and this really effects me socially...PPl think im really stupid or somethings wrong with me. I think its partly b/c i cant carry on 1 train of thought while speaking...so i just stop. But even when I can, its like my vocabs limited and i make really wierd mistakes and flip every. Like i said i tlk like a kid. I HATE IT. If you guys have similar or have done anything to improve or something, drop few words of advice or expirence
thanks
Wonderland
Me too!
I stumble over my words and end up saying a lot of things like "like" and "ya know" and "i don't know" and it drives me crazy, I feel like a teenager or something. I've always been this way and I think it's one of the things that makes me feel so stupid. I guess there are times when I think I'm not really that stupid, but mostly I think I am because I have such a hard time putting together thoughts.
When I write things, letters or whatever, I end up writing it out or typing it out usually, then after I reread it, I end up totally rearranging it. It just seems so jumbled and all over the place. I get everything I want to say out there, but it's just a mess. As a matter of fact I just rearranged this paragraph, ah the irony!! LOL That's just how my thoughts are, all over the place.

My mind is always slightly out of sync with what I'm saying, so that I sometimes feel that I have no idea what I'm actually saying at the time that I'm saying it. I've thought it before I say it, but by the time it's being uttered, I'm not in the same place mentally.

I have this issues sometimes as well-- when I have these moments, I just plow through whatever I'm saying--even if I've flipped words, or forgotten to say half a sentance because I'm on a tangent, I've realized that it's easier to continue the flow of conversation if you just get over that small bump, and keep talking......not rambling, but instead of just stopping mid-sentance (which is the natural and easier thing to do), just carry out with your though even if you can't craft the perfect sentance..... this trick really helps me, and also keeps me confident when I'm speaking.

I find talking really hard as well.

I know what I want to say.. its there but it never comes out Me too, like I know what I want to say but it comes out comepletely wrong and nothing like what I meant.

and this really effects me socially...PPl think im really stupid or somethings wrong with me I feel like that too, when I'm trying to say somethig important or trying to get my opinion across i say it all wrong and because my mind is thinking of so many things i try and say it all at once and what comes out sounds really random and weird to the other person.

I searched about this problem a few weeks ago and this is what I found:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluttering
It's called cluttering, I don't know if anyone has heard of it. It's exactly what I do, it might interest some of you who have problems with verbal communication. Heres a quote:

A clutterer described the feeling associated with a clutter as:

It feels like 1) about twenty thoughts explode on my mind all at once, and I need to express them all, 2) that when I'm trying to make a point, that I just remembered something that I was supposed to say, so the person can understand, and I need to interrupt myself to say something that I should have said before, and 3) that I need to constantly revise the sentences that I'm working on, to get it out right. (Reyes-Alami)

Another clutterer wrote on an Internet support group:

I just seem to rush through the words, and often slur words together and/or mumble—and as a result I often have to slow down, concentrate, and repeat myself.

There's links on there somewhere about stuttering and speach processing as well if anyone is interested.

My mind is always slightly out of sync with what I'm saying, so that I sometimes feel that I have no idea what I'm actually saying at the time that I'm saying it. I've thought it before I say it, but by the time it's being uttered, I'm not in the same place mentally.
Wow. Thanks--that's the perfect description, and I'd never really put that together before.

I find myself rephrasing and restating a lot because I'm not really certain if what I said matched what I had in mind. Or trailing off into vagueness when I should be wrapping up my point, because my mind is too busy backtracking to keep looking forward.

Oh, yeah, another thing that drives me nuts--

I'll tell someone about an event and not completely identify the people involved or distinguish which "he" I'm talking about at the moment, or leave out background that I don't realize they don't know. People just look more and more puzzled as they try to follow.

Doesn't happen when I write, just when I'm speaking. The only other people I see doing this on a regular basis are in 7th grade or younger. I know I'm not an idiot, but it sure makes me feel like one when people have to stop me and ask a bunch of questions to figure out what I'm talking about. What is it about ADD that causes this stuff?

Wow, interesting you guys...good advice. And thanx boone 4 the link. Since Im still young I was thinking i might be able to do something to overcome it, and so I have been working on vocab and practicing it but honestly...Nothings happening and its discouraging. Have you guys heard of an expressive language disorder? I fit alot of that criteria, with an extremly low vocab suposidly but its found in kids who r like autistic or somehting...
Might be because I was in my own world. Completely detached from reality for most of my childhood. I dunno...
~Wonderland

Yeah it is funny I can sit and do crossword puzzles because I like they way it makes me think, and I am pretty good at it, but the written and verbal is hard still.

Its like I can be ok when I am on my own, but when I am talking to someone or writing something someone is going to read, I always end up saying I wish I had/hadn't said it like that. We shouldn't beat ourselves up about it. Thats my problem, I am too hard on myself.

But now that I am on here and typing more and talking more, I am slowly beginning to feel more confident.

Little off topic ...oops

I wish this were a verbal forum; it would save me a lot of time. I speak very well. I have a good vocabulary and I can articulate complex ideas easily.

What hinders me verbally is poor access memory and anxiety. Anxiety can affect my speech -- I ramble. Sometimes when I talk about something, I can impressively pull ideas and facts out of my brain with alacrity; other times, I can't remember my own name.

My weakness: writing. This very post is an example. I write and rewrite. I see omitted word(s), words I thought or said, but that my fingers forgot or I wrote a homonym. I try to speak aloud what I want to write so that it might flow smoothly, but even this approach founders on the shore of my cerebral reality.

Writing just exhausts me. Reading ain't much better: slow, tedious, at times with little comprehension. Adderall seems to be helping with some of this.

We're all different in the same boat.

SL

i don't have problems communicating via writing or speaking. its my strength. my best friend however has adhd as well and she is exactly like a lot of posters here with verbal issues. in fact, i find that i can translate for her perfectly. when she tells me how she feels about her relationship with her boyfriend, its almost as if she uses me to expound her own feelings..
through the years she has actually 'borrowed' my brain and i've written break up letters/emails for her, email responses and currently she wants me to write her boyfriend a letter about the problems they're having b/c she knows if she speaks it will come out all wrong.
its frustrating watching someone struggle with this,
it frankly reminds me of my childhood. my mother is korean and when i was very little i had to translate for her and my younger brother.
its just ironic that i'm still doing this, excepts its my best friend now.
sometimes i really wish i could be her mediator/speaker with her other friends and family b/c she gets into a lot of tangles b/c of inability to speak for herself.
her mind blanks out i guess and the wrong things come out.

I hit me after my last post. Even though I have good verbal skills, I am a muddled thinker. Ideas, phrases, quips, can come quickly, but my intellect is desultory with thoughts constantly competing for each other.

An odd mix indeed.:eyebrow:

SL

the faster ou talk the easier it is to get everything out...

the faster ou talk the easier it is to get everything out...Actually, that's true. My sister is so busy with her two kids and soccer mom life, that when we do talk, I talk too fast trying to get everything out before she has to go.

talk too fastIhaveseeenmanyADDERSdosimilarlymaketheirpoints inminimumtimejumpfrompoint
topointasifthere'snotomorrowconveywhat'simportanti n10%thenumberofwordsw
hich'dnormallyberequiredtomakethosepoints - effectivelyportraytheshapeofthe
ADDermindbytheirtrainofthought

a h h h ! ! !


A--D--D



:-)




{breathe}

how did I read that with ease?