Hello,

I was just diagnosed with ADHD yesterday; as a dyslexic this was not a shock, just unanticipated. So I've been thinking as to how ADHD may have been effecting my life up to this point and have to ask..

Does anyone else feel that no matter what they say, how they say it, or despite how much thought is put into your own words (and type!) that you still can't get others to understand what you mean? Even when those you are speaking to have known you for a LONG time??? From simple comments to conversations?

It seems as though I am often saying things the wrong way; that I am often misinterpreted. And often, when people understand what I have said, they pick up extra meanings in my words that I did not intend (I don't know how to ellaborate).

I don't usually blurt things out.. I only interrupt people unintentionally (that is SO embarrasing!!!). I try very hard to think about what I say before I say it, to avoid these misunderstandings; but they still happen a lot. Sometimes these misunderstandings are BAD, sometimes they are only over small things not even worth correcting; but either is still very frustrating.

Also, does anyone else feel that, in certain situations, they 'slip' into immaturity and start acting like an idiot? From time to time, this happens to me and I don't realize it until something bad happens. I usually act 'my age' (if there is such a thing as 'acting your age'!)- a very reserved 22-year-old, but every now and then I don't; to my great and lingering embarrasment.

I'm wondering if these problems of mine are just 'my problems', or if it they are related to ADHD- or if they're just from dyslexia (maybe all three are correct!). Does anyone else with ADHD have these problems? If so, any luck in overcoming them?

I'm even nervous about joining this forum for fear that I could eventually offend someone without meaning to!

These have made me choose to become a bit of a recluse, partly because past encounters have made me fearful of future interactions, and also partly as a method of 'damage control'.

I've also lived with my boyfriend for 5 years; and such misunderstandings are even common with him- sometimes daily, even hourly! (Though I know that's common in relationships, anyway!! :) )



Sorry my post is so long! If anyone could offer their thoughts, I would really appreciate it! I'm happy to find a forum for discussing ADD. Thank you for reading!

Hey,

Big (I think...) said I was ne of the most chronically misunderstood people around here...

So guess my picture goes by the definition of chronically misunderstood?

Smile for the nice camera... click.

I have involvement in at least three current threads that are composed, after my involvement, almost entirely of miscommunications!

Good luck. i guess you aren't alone... < grin and bare it >

I am constantly misunderstood. It used to be a big issue in my life.
And a constant irritation. I don't take it as personal anymore. It also seems it isn't happenning as much. I think it's cause I let it go fast now. Or perhaps I am just a clearer communicator. It still happens a lot though. But it doesn't hurt as deep.
Also my choice in friends seems to be consistantly on a higher level than say 10 or more years ago, so as they seem brighter emotionally. They may not be attaching their own personal agenda to what I say?
Subtlemuttle what do you mean; acting like an idiot, can you give an example? I act like a idiot constantly, but I feel mostly humbled by it, I think. I am not sure if humble is the right word.
Maybe it is ny way of forgiving myself for showing my idiot side to others?
j9

I have this problem, also have the interrupting people inadvertently one. A thought occurs to me and leaps directly out of my mouth before I stop to think that they are already talking...

Subbtle,
I am in the same boat as you. I cannot seem to say what I mean. I also interupt and finish sentances for people. It drives my wife crazy when she stops to take a breath and I complete her sentance for her. I also have noticed I have been doing it at work too. You are not alone.

Subtle, I'm on your side. ADD me to the group.

I get paid to write. I can talk up a storm and speak ad-lib before audiences with no fear. But in personal, one-on-one or small group conversations, I am terrified that I will be misunderstood. I have been in the past, even by my family growing up. I have nightmares about it sometimes.

And I interrupt, too. I try not to, I know I shouldn't, but I do. Maybe the response coming my way shows the speaker has mistunderstood me?

Anyway, I think that the more we dwell on it, the more tense we get, and the worse it gets.

Thanks. It's good to know that others share this; though for all of us I hope it gets better. Janine- glad that it has, at least a little!

I agree that sometimes people attach their personal agenda to words that are said- but it's a fine line trying to figure out later if it was my tone or body posture or wording instead.

I'm having trouble remembering my most recent big whoops (except one, but it's too personal). My memories are often fleeting and I don't always remember what I need to- when I need to.

When I slip into immature mode (though it's VERY infrequent) I just don't know what I'm doing or saying and am unaware of my surroundings- so remembering those in detail is really difficult. They usually involve very stupid, inappropriate or senseless commemts made in an anxious or manical fasion; or talking REALLY loudly, or bouncing around.

I have a twisted sense of humor; so often I'll find something that's truly appauling and devastating- but there is just one tiny thing about it that I find absolutely hilarious or can make a joke about in my head. And start laughing out loud in the wrong place- wrong time.


My most frequent, annoying social trait:

Someone will try to carry a conversation with me, and my responses will consist of mostly umms and ahhhs and long pauses of silence: then I forget what the person was saying and I sometimes make myself ask, "What were you saying?" Which makes them think that I was ignoring them. If not, I just muddle thorugh and try to say something along the lines of what I THINK they were talking about- which can almost be worse.

Humbling is the right word for me.

Sometimes I act really silly on purpose- because I'm rather good at making a fool of myself and don't mind making my friends and family laugh at me when it's intended. That's okay!

I'll try not to dwell on these- at least not negatively! Hopefully constructively.


Thanks a lot!

I blurt things out at times and all of the above. Not long ago I met a fellow who asked me out. I could of cared less at first, but I took his card, and we talked. He seemed nice and was attractive.
Earlier that evening I had been discussing with two girlfriends that I missed having a sex life. Well I said to him as we parted, I guess I'll give you a call, it would be nice to have sex again. Jeeeez I thought to myself how embarrasing. Anyway when we got to know each other better and were talking about our first meeting he didn't recall me saying what I said. He turned out to be very ADD himself.
Janine

Originally posted by janine
I blurt things out

...

Well I said to him as we parted, I guess I'll give you a call, it would be nice to have sex again.

... were talking about our first meeting he didn't recall me saying what I said. He turned out to be very ADD himself.
Janine

I bet he was:
1) better off for having spaced it out
2) really sorry he didn't catch that at the time!

[chuckles] :]