Hi, this is my first post here. I have not been diagnosed as of yet, I go to the psy in a few days. My friends/husband have jokingly said to me in the past that I had ADD. I didn't think so, but I had struggled with anxiety and drepression. Once i found out my Father had, and still struggles with, ADHD, i knew it could be a possiblity. Once i started reading all I could, taking self-tests, reading some more - I had my ah ha! moment. It all made sense to me. I can go back to different times in my life, big things to little things, and it's like wow, i'm not crazy, I actually may have this! I dunno, it was almost a relief to know that there may be a way to help myself. So I've made the necessary appointments and i'm ready to get help!!! For myself and my family. (I know I drive them crazy too) SOOO, I tell my husband that I'm going and why I'm going, and he was kind of making fun of me I think. Like "Dont flip out at anyone in the elevator" Tell your dr you want to committ suicide...he thinks I just want the meds, which is completely untrue. Although I will admit I do self medicate with liquor. I'm not a drunk, but I do have a drink every night to help me sleep. I want help - I want to feel better - it's just getting to the point of not being able to function at work or at home arggghhh!! It could also be that he's scared for me too - but it hurt me the way he reacted. I was just curious if anyone else had to deal with that? Thank you for reading and sorry if this is all scrambled. ;)

I'm sorry you are feeling like your husband is making fun of you. It could be that he is scared and trying to make light of your situation. You are on the right track. If you can, sit down and tell him "When you said. . . , I felt . . . " Be completely serious and don't play a blame game. If you can't talk to him this way, a therapist may be able to help you at some point to be more open.

The main thing is to keep your eyes on the prize. Get the diagnosis 1st, see if you can get your husband to learn more about ADHD and tell him what you really need from him. Be specific, guys don't know what you want. "I need you to hold me / or I need you to read this article, I need you to understand, ....."

Good Luck!

What she said. After being on medication for some time, one of my most treasured revelations was that I wasn't the only screw up at home and at work. :D Treatment of any kind changes the dynamics in even the best of families.

Myahamoment: Don't feel bad, I was telling my mother in law about me being diagnosed with adhd, and my husband starts cutting up saying "thats why she forgets to finish everything mom, shes just not all there."

After that I ignored him until we got home, and very bluntly told him that it was something I would appreciate if he would not make fun of. That I was just learning to deal with it and last thing I wanted was people poking fun at me. After I explained that what he said although he didn't mean to, hurt me, he quickly stopped.

He told me it was the only way he knew how to deal with it, and that it was easier to deal with when made light of.

I hope my situation helped you a little. Hope things get better!

Scuter Puter what an excellent post and a good way to handle the situation. Men or human's don't know how you feel until you tell them. If some one's intentions are unclear I simply ask them.

*smiles* Thanks. I had to learn the hard way, its easier to be forward when dealing with feelings rather than beating around the bush. Especially with men. Love my husband but he doesn't get the subtle clues lol. =D

Love my husband but he doesn't get the subtle clues lol. =D


Yea men as a species in my experience do not get hints at all!

When I was first Dx'd my husband starting making comments about "the little voices in my head". The first couple of times I didn't say anything but that 3rd time I told him "If your not careful your gonna hurt my feelings" (along with that shut up look) and fortunately that was all it took for me. I really think he just didn't know how to feel about it or how to react and that was just his way (making light of it) of dealing with it. But it's all good now. :D

I feel that the general public has a hard time accepting this disorder----including my wife. i've been begging her to read something like "delivered from distraction" or something equally as good/informative, but it's like she doesn't care. i want her to understand why i do certain things. i wish she could live in the foggy nascar race that my brain is in everyday, just for one day. she'd go nuts! :eyebrow:

We're also pretty sensitive. I went to a lecture a month or so ago and the doc had a name for it even -- "rejection sensitivity dysphoria". (Dysphoria means bad feeling). Maybe it comes from our beating up on ourselves for so long thinking "maybe I am just lazy and stupid". I know when my spouse gets even close to saying "just try harder" I really feel like I want to snap.

So now when anyone says anything that feels critical I just shut up and slow down and ask myself as clearly as I can "do they mean harm, are they just clueless, or am I making more out of their words than they intend". She usually isn't intending harm and to jump on her would be to overreact. Instead I try to explain (more, again) about what is going on in my head.

My husband is sort of doing the same thig about me visiting this web site. He is acting like he's jealous and I don't get it. He even went so far as to comment that I might be chatting with some guy on the net:confused: (can you believe it?)

He knows that ADD exists in my family and my son (his step) was diagnised in 1995 yet he acts like it's just a matter of pulling up your bootstraps and get on with life. It reminds me of the "Just Do It" Nike commercial.

He comes from a very hard working blue collar family where people judge you by how much money you make or how productive you are. So he doesn't understand that ADD is a chemical/biological disorder and that people who have it aren't just lazy.

I just had to get that off my chest. I wish things were different:(

My husband is sort of doing the same thing about me visiting this web site. He is acting like he's jealous and I don't get it. He even went so far as to comment that I might be chatting with some guy

I have been there done that bought the t-shirt own the factory. In time they do seem to adjust. I have even invited partner to join if he is so worried, this it is after all a public site. My partner is probably hyperactive ADD and could use much of the information here, but they do have spousal support for partners, spouses that do not have ADD themselves.

The problem is his insecurity not your ADD.


He knows that ADD exists in my family and my son (his step) was diagnosed in 1995 yet he acts like it's just a matter of pulling up your bootstraps and get on with life. It reminds me of the "Just Do It" Nike commercial.

Judging other by ones own ability not very nice nor is it very wise.,My man did this also then I announced from now on I was going to judge him on his ability to give birth, length of his labor, tolerance of period pains and bloating, and attitude during PMS. Naturally he can’t do any of these things being male.

We are all different period end of story. He can’t give birth because of the way he is designed I can’t not be ADHD because of the way I was designed. Accept me or free me those are his choices belittling me is a non-option.

He has a non-enlightened notion of ADHD and the idea of him having it horrifies him because he doesn’t want to be “brain damaged”. . . . .okay brain damage came up with how many inventions to make running his business easier and more efficiently , a damaged brain came up with how to hold a tie-rod end onto a ball joint using bailing wire at 2:00 am saving him over $400.00. Until ours fell off while we were drive 60mph I had never seen one before. I have pulled his butt out of ???? situations if I were brain damaged he should be so lucky.

One day he wanted a hot dog and didn’t want to get a pan dirty so he sticks his hot dog on the end of a long fork the kind used to turn chicken and stuck it over the open flame on our stove. Turned out like those cooked over a camp fire. I told him that was a real ADD thing to do. He told me it wasn’t ADD like it was innovative. . . .innovative happens to be a part of being ADD. . .. how do you think I come up with the ideas I do, from bailing wire fixes to inventive ways to repair stuff, the idea of pulling your trailer out of the mud using a ratchet, a strap and 4 pieces of ply wood, to using flat tires for goose neck trailer security. Ever tried to pull off a 18 foot goose neck, loaded with 120 pallets with four flats?



Not all that is wrong has to do with ADD, some things that are right maybe just as effected by you being ADD. A secure person does not need to belittle others because they have short comings, after all every one has flaws weather they are ADD or not. Being flawed is attached to being human.