" Your on top of the world, you finally have words to describe wut you've been through your entire life, and you are ready to move on. Easy right. well..... I feel like after this whole process of "getting help" that i just feel stuck again. Stuck in a miserable rut, although the meds have helped me so much they don't take away that internal itch that I constanly feel about not living a trulely fufilling life. I want to fly, but I can't figure out how to leave the ground. I want to succeed.... I want prosperity...... I want clarity.... but when I look in the mirror I see the excact same girl I saw yesterday. I see all of the false hope smeered over pain. I see her desire, and her shattered dreams and I wish I could help her but I am stuck and don't know how to. Shall i compare this feeling to a leapard behind bars. " The leopard, is filled with strength and pride, but he can't reach his full potential because he is stuck behind those miserable zoo bars. He sees moving things ( people) outside these miserable bars, but they are so foreign to him, their hapiness and amusment is soooooooooo unheard of , because all he can see in his world are those intimating metal bars that haunt him every day. And every day he see's these metal bars his dreams are shattered bit by bit, he can not do anything, he has no answers, he is stuck behind unhappiness for what seems like an eternity." That lepard and I share so much in common, and i wish i could find someway out of this life, that feels like blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa but I don't know what to do or where to go.

Can anyone relate to this stuck feeling?

Is this the typical ADD feeling after and before getting treated?

Any advise?

Feel free to respond!!

I also have/had this feeling of being trapped, but i don't know what I want to do, the metal bars are stopping me to but I don't know from what. I have know idea what I want and can do in my life and my brain won't let me start anywhere. I am only comfortable in routines, even though that is what is causing me anxiety too.

I hope you are currently getting help with this, as am I.

Good luck. Sorry my post wasn't that long, got distracted.

I think I am in this period of my life where I either want " to get out" and experience the fun and exciting life I've been missing for so long or hide back in that cold and dark hole which brings me comfort but not satisafacation. I want to be safe and happy. But it's not working. I want to hide and be released from the pain that I feel, but I really need to face it and move on. I know what i need to do, but i don't want to do it because it will not and cannot give me the security that I feel i need. I really don't want to be more uncomfortable then I already am, but I think I must if I really want to live a worth while life?

sugestions????????

Well first what do you want to do?

and if you know, is your life situation able to let you do it, or is your disorder the only thing holding you back?

I think I am in this period of my life where I either want " to get out" and experience the fun and exciting life I've been missing for so long or hide back in that cold and dark hole which brings me comfort but not satisafacation. I want to be safe and happy. But it's not working. I want to hide and be released from the pain that I feel, but I really need to face it and move on. I know what i need to do, but i don't want to do it because it will not and cannot give me the security that I feel i need. I really don't want to be more uncomfortable then I already am, but I think I must if I really want to live a worth while life?I know so much how you feel. It's hard to push your boundaries because you've got to step out of your comfort zone, and every time you do that you risk failure. And you don't know what's out there beyond the bars. So it's a choice between comfortable misery and the unknown. The unknown could be great, or it could be worse than what you've got now. At least you're used to what you've got now, right? It's so much easier to take risks when you have no other choice. But when you have to give up comfort and security to take risks, that's a whole different thing.

Maybe reframing your current situation would help. It seems comfortable to hide, but does that dark hole ever really make you happy? Or is it full of regret for the things that you wanted to do but were too afraid to? Like the frog in the pot of water, maybe you don't realize how bad it is now because you've gotten to this point so gradually, and you're so used to it. Maybe you don't have a choice. You just have to get out there and live, and stop worrying about how to do it. I remember when I was learning to rock climb, I'd get stuck at a certain point, and my ex would call up to me and tell me what to do, and I'd tell him "I don't know how to do that." And he told me not to worry about knowing how, just do it. You learn how by doing it. There's always a risk you'll fall, but the odds of staying stuck if you don't take the risk are 100 percent.

Thank you for the advise,
"I don't know how to do that." And he told me not to worry about knowing how, just do it!"
That's my problem! When I don't know how to do something I degrade myself and give up imediately,and I feel that I will be happier if I just stop and go back to my "hole" of regret. I am so critical of myself that I fail to see other options, I am so covered in my self doubt of " just not getting it" that I become stuck in a heavy parlyizing emotion puddle that prohibits me from from "moving on". I think your right, sometimes when you don't know how to do something, you must first agknowledge that this is NOT THE END, there is still a hopeful journey in front of you, you can always take action, there is always hope, you just can not let your negative self talk cover the many oppurtunites that lay in front of you.

Thanks for the new insight, I feel more hopeful, I am still scared , but atleast I know now that I have the ability " to take action."

I think it's weird how your thoughts seem so much more scary when they are racing through your head. However, when you really just get them out to the world, or even just write them down somewhere they don't seem half as bad.

That's why I am so grateful for forums.

They are simply a tye of " pain releiver" in them self!

Stargirl, I'm so stuck in that rut too. I just feel there's so much more that I can do with my life. But, the drive, direction and overwhelming challenges stop me. I have trouble dealing with life's daily challenges, how can I tackle larger tasks?! I just get overwhelmed and stand still. That just gets me nowhere. It's just the thought of trying to manage my ADD that's sooo overwhelming.... It's easier to stay still but I'm not happy.

I am on a journey my question is

Have I arrived yet?

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~ ~*~~~*~~~*~~~*



My point is simple. If you do not know where you are going how would you

#1 Know which direction to take or weather or not you are presently going the correct way. Even if you pulled over to ask for directions one must have a destination .

#2 Know how you are going to get there, Where one is going goes a long way to determining how. Driving may be the best way to get across town but may be a poor choice for going across the street or to the next continent.

#3 Know when you arrived.


The rut feeling for me normally means I lack a specific direction. I want to progress but have failed to be specific as to my designation. Setting a specific reasonable destination will go a long way toward being able to answer the three questions asked above. It normally eliminates the stuck feeling because I have a way of seeing my progress.

This in my opinion is this is pretty common especially for those of us who are adults before being diagnosed with ADD. As children we failed to learn how to make specific goals for our selves never mind how to make a plan. The medications help quiet our brain and allow us be able to control our direction of focus, and increases our attention span; however they can not make goals for us nor can they draw up a travel plan or evaluate our progress. Those are non-pharmaceutical necessities to long term treatment of ADD.

If help is needed in making specific goals obtaining the services of a coach my be a great benefit for those who have the resources to do so.

Hope this helps.

I need time to read and re-read this thread before prividing any meaningful comment..

My first impression is WOW!

My second reaction is to pull out of my library my copy of Illusions - Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach.

My third reaction is WOW !!!

I'll need much time to compose my 4th reaction....but I bet you can guess it will begin with WOW.

I also need to call my Psych MD who made the diagnosis 4 weeks ago, started my on Adderall XR and tell him the word I have been trying to find to describe myself is RUT.

Wow,
Andy

Wow Mead, that was a great insight. I think you're absolutely right.

Thank you MEAD for your insightful response I copied and pasted it to word document, I intend to put into better use, and hopefully it will help be to better direct my focus. I think it is very important to have a plan, because without one, you will have no direction to go when all hell breaks loose. One quote I have that reminded me of the importance of having goals/dreams was one that my mother gave me a month ago by Namoleon Hill. He said, " cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children or your blueprints of your ultimate acheivemetns."
Without having these dreams all human beings will be lost, we must stay true to our selves, and our dreams even when are faults seem more important!! I hope I will be able to stay true to this quote , but anouther weakness of mine is easily being inspired and motivated one moment and then unmotivated and mentally self destructive the next. How can I mantain this inspiration and motivation all the time even when my life is not currently where I want it to be? Is this shift in emotion caused by ADD, if so what can I do to prevent it?

Can anywone relate to this feeling of high hopes one moment and shattered hopes/ depletion the next. Has anyone experienced the wonderful energy and exceleration that makes life so worthwhile only to feel like a walking zombie the next moment? Or been so close to reaching the life that they've dreamed of, only to suddenly go through minor changes in their life bringing them back to the same place they origianlly were, " stuck in a rut"?

This rollar coaster of good shifts and bad shifts has been my life for the past year. It has been very been very painful and has given me a lot of confusion about my self worth in general. I believe it has also contributed to my fear about going into new sittuations.

Can anywone relate to this feeling of high hopes one moment and shattered hopes/ depletion the next.
I think so. A couple of years ago I got the diagnosis, along with a huge surge of understanding and hope. I really did think I was just lazy and stupid all those years. And then, after a couple of false starts, got the meds about right. Now I can stay on task for hours at a time --- not all day, and not every day, but a LOT better than before. That's such a huge, positive change. But then I realize that I still can't choose which task to stay on, and it's only rarely the most important one, and I'm still letting people down daily. Then I feel like I really haven't moved that far. Still in the same old rut. Sag, sigh, s!@#. But that feeling passes as well. Sometimes I can make my way past it by slowly and thoughtfully thinking about how far I've really come. Building a gratitude list -- counting my blessings -- whatever.

SG, I hope there are times when you don't feel shattered, and you can remember those times and build on them and that they become more frequent as time goes by.

Can anyone relate to this feeling of high hopes one moment and shattered hopes/ depletion the next. Has anyone experienced the wonderful energy and exeleration that makes life so worthwhile only to feel like a walking zombie the next moment? Or been so close to reaching the life that they've dreamed of, only to suddenly go through minor changes in their life bringing them back to the same place they originally were, " stuck in a rut"?

I have this experience as well. The terms used in books that referred to this as an ADD trait are emotional or passionate.

Life is full of ups and downs for every one. I think ADD increases or tendency to react.

The only advice I have here is pretty dry but effective, I use a short phrase to remind my self

The phrase is “This too shall pass”

When I was down the big fear for me was I would never feel any differently. When as a child and I made a funny face, Some adults would say “Your face is going to freeze and be stuck like that for the rest of your life” I was afraid my mood was going to freeze in the down position and get stuck. . . . then I remembered how five minutes ago I was having a “high” moment and it passed so will this low one. All I have to do is wait another five minutes. :rolleyes:


rrreality check . . . . . . .

The good feelings and the bad ones generated from simply living life pass, unless we are suffering from a depression or are really stuck due to lack of goals we probably spend equal time in both. The thing is when we feel bad about ourselves time feels like it passed more slowly, and as humans we tend to remember the negative more readily because we focus on it more intensely. Combine the slow passage of time, the heightened focus and the better re-call it is easy to see why many come to the conclusion their roller coaster is down more than up. . . .it is normally only a perception thing.





This roller coaster of good shifts and bad shifts has been my life for the past year. It has been very been very painful and has given me a lot of confusion about my self worth in general. I believe it has also contributed to my fear about going into new situations.

It is good to reflect upon the past bad idea only as a lesson to prevent a real rut by making the same mistakes over and over .It is good to look at our mistakes long enough to learn from them, acknowledge our feeling about it and move on. Holding onto regrets any longer than the lesson and reaction require is rarely a productive thing. Feelings are some thing that should be experienced yes but part of repairing a low self esteem is learning how to feel down, or bad about a mistake with out getting down on yourself for the feeling and / or the mistake. . . . .

Some where I read:
A mistake is simply a sign that some one tried to do some thing.

Feeling down for weeks at a time in a way that effects your ability to function may be an indication of a more serious problem that should be brought to the attention of a health care professional. Depression is real and should not be ignored however brief periods of feeling low are pretty normal even for those who do not have ADD.

Some many negative connotations are attached to ADD in the name of “understanding the condition” or more directly “science” that there is a tendency even by those of us who have it to attach every negative feeling or occurrence to having ADD. Even non-ADDers do stupid stuff, make bad decisions, and have ups and downs.

I have a daughter who is bi-polar as well as ADD Every time she had a blue feeling or was happy her Dad attached it to her bi-polar. One day my daughter got sick of it and finally told her Dad

“You know every happy mood isn’t a mania every blue day isn’t a cycle of depression . Dad not every change in my mood is due to my bi-polar. Those of us who are bi-polar have regular feelings too.”

I found that to be very insightful for a 19 year old girl and she is exactly right. The same little sepal applies to ADD We have normal feelings to every day events and not all mood changes or silly mistake is due to the ADD. Besides being ADD isn’t all bad there are some good things about it as well. . . . .see the flip side of ADD goes a long way toward healing that diminished self esteem by giving us some thing to focus on besides all that is wrong.

I am here I am listening. I am in the same situation. Trying to get a grip on the days, weeks and months that are just slipping by with no imprint.
All these feelings started happening AFTER I was diagnosed. (at 40) Maybe ignorance is/was bliss?
After the initial euphoria of the meds and the incredible surge of productivity the bar was set. It was set really high. A big part of my problem is I can’t let go of that.
I find myself measuring my days by how productive they are. I can’t imagine anything more self defeating or downright ridiculous for someone with ADD.
I have to shake this,

Mead said something about emotion and passion.
These were two of my signature traits prior to meds/diagnose.
Now it's nothing, nada and I miss it!
It was a roller coaster but at least I felt engaged.

MEAD..... I appreciated you advise on just letting the emotions pass by.... sometimes they are good and sometimes they are bad...... I found it powerful because when we are sad are lives are not nessecarily bad, infact some times they are rich and colorful, however we often fail to see those positive things because we are so focused on how terrible our lives are. By accepting that those negative feelings are only natural, we can move on and not give that one negative thought complete control over ourselves.

By accepting that those negative feelings are only natural, we can move on and not give that one negative thought complete control over ourselves.

Having negative thoughts about our negative thoughts that produce more negative thoughts sounds like a vicious cycle of negative thoughts to me.

Being able to see the gloomlies as being just as natural as basking in clear skies and sunshine allows us to suspend assignment of good vs., bad. I look at my moods as being neutral simply existing, The feelings them selves are not good or bad(right or wrong), how we choose to deal with these emotions is what assigns them a category.

God, you guys are good!

Having negative thoughts about our negative thoughts that produce more negative thoughts sounds like a vicious cycle of negative thoughts to me. Get out of my brain! :D

I had a realization the other day, that the biggest thing I beat myself up about was my lack of confidence. Ironic, huh? Or maybe not. The cycle goes like this: I feel unsure of myself and that leads me to do or not do something (usually not do something), and I get all dejected over that and say bad things to myself. So over time I just get more and more negative about myself, until something good comes along that I can feel proud of. My counselor talked about this, how I shouldn't let my self-esteem hang on day-to-day events, which it usually does. I think I am getting better about it, but it feels like I've got a long way to go.

I have not been able to articulate my thoughts as well as some of you, but thank you so much for the words of wisdom. I came across this thread by chance and it hit home more than you know.
Over the past year+ I have become completely bored and disgusted with myself, my lack of direction and passiveness. I was avoiding certain people and projects and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach was getting more and more frequent.
Keeping busy with a routine gave me an excuse not to push myself.

Reading your posts made me have a “light bulb” moment as Oprah would say.
It is all perception. All I have to do is change the way I was looking at things and my whole life was different.

Your posts gave me the energy to take action.
It sounds so silly but for the last few days instead of making lists of a million things that I SHOULD do, I came up with one thing I had been avoiding and told myself if I just get that one thing done it I can call it a good day.
Sunday my husband and I spent 2 hours in the garage getting rid of the last of our junk leftover from our move 3 months ago.
Monday I called my Dad for the first time in months.
Today I will vote and meet with an employee I need to have a little talk with…
Again it sounds so silly but just keeping a promise to myself is powerful enough to start the ball rolling.

Yesterday, I felt so good that when my husband called in the evening and said he’d be home in 10 minutes I asked if a colleague he was with wanted to join us for dinner. It just came out of my mouth; my house was not clean I had made nothing special for dinner. Entertaining has been a big deal for me; it is not “routine” and it takes all sorts of thought and planning. As I am sure you can imagine, it does not happen very often.
My son's friend and his father ended up joining us as well.
It was a great evening, it was pretty simple to “get over” myself and enjoy.

Once again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

As my yoga instructor once said “all the gifts the universe are yours for the taking IF you have the courage to let yourself take them” or something like that.

Wow!
I found your post very powerful, I am so glad that this thread, gave you a " light bulb moment", and I defiantely do not believe it is a coincidance that you stumbled upon it. I strongly believe that once we have a dream or a goal the universe will help us to acheive that goal. In the " Alchemist" , Paulo Cabduel described that while we endeavor on the journey to accomplish our " personal legend" ( DREAMS), we will receive omens that lead us in the right direction. Omens are little lessons that occur in daily life that help use to basically stay on track. I truely believe that this thread was an omen for you, and I am positive that if you continue to follow you goals like you have, and overcome the many obstacles that try to distract you with dignity, YOU WILL LIVE A HAPPY life, and perhaps even give omens to others in the process. To me having a ADD is just an obstacle to my personal legend, it is my responisbility to learn and overcome these obtacles. Everyone has these obstacles, it is purely how you choose to deal with these obstacles that will determine your sucess. You are NOT a lesser person for having certain weaknesses!!!! NEVER FORGET THAT!Even when it seems on certain days that " everybody else has it", forget this feeling because they too have obstacles.

I defiantely agree with the fact, that emotions are not " good or bad", viewing them as neutral is the safest thing you can do. Elckart Tolle, in his book " The Power of Now" describes how, " we have down cycles and up cycles" in our lives, although it is nice to have those up cycles we can not grow forever, if we did we did we would become monsterous.
Sometimes these down cycles can last for weeks and even months, but it is necessary that we have them to develop compassion and wisdom for our future. Also it is critical that we do not let our "ego's" overreact to these down cycles, we must accept them as a part of life and move on, and we will eventully climb our way back to the good cycles. Looking back I realize that my negative emotions have blinded my for so long, and have done so much to my self worth, I think that this self awareness is the first step to " moving foward."

THANK YOU TO EVERY ONE WHO HAS REPLIED TO THIS THREAD!

I think I know where you might be coming from...

So here I am, I've got the help and I've got the meds. I (mistakenly) expected that with a few quick pills suddenly 20 some odd years of procrastination, lack of focus, and disorganization would also melt away. I feel guilty that I still procrastinate, although no where near to what I was doing before.

Although I'm not exactly in the same place as I was before, I'm still "hanging" around so to speak.

As I learn more about ADD, I'm beginning to understand that medication is but one slice of the whole pie. I still need and will probably always need some kind of help to get myself organized and all together.

You will get to the right place. Be sure of that.

As I learn more about ADD, I'm beginning to understand that medication is but one slice of the whole pie. I still need and will probably always need some kind of help to get myself organized and all together.

How very correct. Medications make some things easier maybe even a few things possible.

What medications do and don't do can be hard to understand at first. It can be even harder to explain. One time I was trying to explain how medication didn't make me organized but merely allowed me the ability to access this already present talent.

I used the following analogy:

Before medications I could see the car in the drive way from the front porch. I could actually get to the car but didn't very often because there was a bunch of tall weeds and thorn bushes between me and it. When I did finally arrive at the car I was often to tired from fighting the weeds and thorns to really go any where or do any thing.

Taking medication was much like some one chopping down the weeds and thorn bushes. I could get to my car so much easier and faster, so when I did arrive behind the wheel I felt more motivated to going places in it.

Although the person who mowed down the thorns and weeds enabled me to reach my car easier the decision as to where I was going to drive my car was still mine, Chopping down the weeds and thorns didn't suddenly give me the ability to drive, my driving skills were either present or they weren't. Getting rid of the over grown some times painful brushes simply made my access the vehicle a lot easier, the rest was up to and with in me. One last thing to remember with this analogy the more I drove my car the better I became at it the more comfortable I got with being behind the wheel of my own abilities.

The Medication acts as one who mows down the grass and thorns, the vehicle is your brain. The more you steer it the more comfortable you will become. No one in their right mind would go from some one who rarely drove to being a race car driver without a bit of learning experiences in between. The same goes for modifications in your life.

I hope this helps.

I know it is hard to branch out and take a chance! I had been in the same spot. But after my mom died, I realized that life was way too short. She was only 53 when she died and I decided that when I am 53, I don't want to look back and say "I should have....". I just go for it. It is hard to take that first step out of the "comfort zone" but it really is worth it. You will have some bumps along the way. But always remember, you ARE a smart, wonderful person! Don't put yourself down because you attempt something or want to attempt something but don't do it right. Do you think Da Vinci was born with a paint brush in his hand? It takes time, but believe in yourself! It is hard now, it was for me, but I am SO glad I took that step!

Thanks Mead, your words actually were very helpful!

Yes, I defiantely agree that it is important to believe in yourself if you want to get on track!!! Many times we make up excuses for not being able to go where we want, becasue of our disabilities etc., however many times it is our thinking that is most disabling. It is our negative self talk, that keeps us hiding from what we want most. I believe if we can reiforce ourselves with positive self talk rather than negative self talk, we can start making huge leaps towards what we want. The only catch is that making this shift can be very very hard, it is so hard to change what we are use to, because we thrive on comfort, we want to stay the same and keep our " old ways" even if they aren't good for us. We want to isolate our selves from the world, even when the world holds endless posibilites that we are hungry for.

I am reading this book entitled, " GET OUT OF YOUR MIND AND INTO YOUR LIFE." And it explains that rather than wining the war in your mind, you must leave the battle field, you must basically get out of your mind. The author uses the agnology of wearing yellow sun glasses. If you want to see why your world is so dark, you must adjust the sun glasses so that they are sevral inches away from your face. By doing this you will see that the world is dark because the glasses have shades on, the darkness is an effect of the sunglasses. Thus, you will come to the realization that the world is not really dark, it was just that way when you had the glasses on. If we take this agnology and use it in our daily lives we can also come to the realization that " our negative thoughts" are merely shades, we need to take off those shades and observe how they work. Although, we can never get rid of these thoughts, by observing them we gain much more control over our lives and can eliminate the damage they do to us, we can then create thoughts that are positive.

I am reading this book entitled, " GET OUT OF YOUR MIND AND INTO YOUR LIFE." And it explains that rather than wining the war in your mind.....yellow sun glasses. If you want to see why your world is so dark, you must adjust the sun glasses so that they are sevral inches away from your face. By doing this you will see that the world is dark ... come to the realization that " our negative thoughts" are merely shades, we need to take off those shades and observe how ... eliminate the damage they do to us, we can then create thoughts that are positive.Yes, and you need to get in touch with your material "make-up." You are not made up to be a "routine" kinda gal.

You have to squirm about. I know adopting many Yoga principles and practices into my life has been greatly beneficial. And also, maybe more education wise, realizing that I have Da Vinci's gene has given me some sort of feeling that I'm not alone.

You are the hands-on type. We have much in common.

Life, in general, is pretty hands-on. The more engaged, the better for everyone. Gosh, I need to read the yoga sutras.

Now ADD may need a dash more of the physical, aerobic involvement. That's why adopting things from Yoga lifestyle is so cool for me.

You'll see that after Yoga for, time varies, that it can improve symptoms of ADD/HD.

iTunes has podcasts. They have free yoga vid-casts, daily. A show called Yoga Today for beginners. I think iTunes is free, find iTunes @ apple.com

Example of Yoga experience:

Actucally, today was very good class for you.. We practiced on breaking through any barriers that might be holding us back. Incorporating the physical body is quite necessary, I'm learning.. 'specially for ADDers.

In Yoga, you focus on movement and breath. Perfect for ADDer, because it is FOCUS. The trick, and this makes studying yoga useful, is to focus on this necessity of breath and movement in everyday tasks.


Steadfastness is also necessary, and I think meds will help this aspect.. ADDers inhernetly lack in this steadfastness (as others lack in other areas), that may be why they feel stuck.

Yoga helps me make improvements to many areas of my life, but I do still feel stuck a lot.

This from yoga.com, I'm sure if you're interested you'll find many articles which you will find interesting.
http://www.yoga.com/ydc/enlighten/enlighten_category.asp?section=9


Here is an example of how meditation techniques can help simplify our life, taken from a correspondence:
I am a pre-med student. I took Kundalini Yoga for athletic credit in high school. I also suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder. I did not realize until after graduating how much of an effect the active nature of Kundalini Yoga had on my condition. The chanting, rhythm and energetic exercises engaged my mind and body allowing me to remain focused during the Yoga. I had problems with other forms of Yoga. Kundalini often left me with a mental clarity that I have not experienced anywhere else, not even when I take my medication! Kundalini Yoga has been so special to me!

After all, is not a life of simplicity ultimately a life of contentment. So if it is walking, which massages the internal organs, or something else that gives you that peace, give it to your Self on a regular basis.

From Wallace Stegner's All the Little Living Things : It will hardly do to confess out loud, in this century, what it took to content us. We walked, gardened, read. We simplified feeling.

Awareness of what helps us simplify and then doing it is all it takes!!


But, the drive, direction and overwhelming challenges stop me. I have trouble dealing with life's daily challenges, how can I tackle larger tasks?! I just get overwhelmed and stand still. That just gets me nowhere.
prescription: Yoga, cultivated and practiced regularly throughout life (even in small portions) lead to a great difference (mentally, physically)

I have been self medicating with exercise since I was 17. Running seems to be the best. There is something about the rhythm of it that ties my brain and body together and the results seem to last a day or two.
I do yoga a couple a days a week as well. My studio has recently added a Kundalini class. I will give it a try.
I have to admit that the only reason I tried yoga was because I had an injury and couldn't do anything else. At first sticking it out in a 90 minute class was a nightmare for me. Fortunately I had/have fantastic teachers who intuitively seem to say they right thing at the right time. I learned more about myself in those first few months of struggle than I can put into words.
Two years later I still look at my classes as a treat, my time to be quiet with myself that never seemed possible before. Running, well that is a chore but one of the few things I am disciplined with.

Sounds like a lot of us are here.

I'm in a pre-successful ADD med treatment phase, struggling through the irritating trial and error with meds.

That aside though, I have always wondered why others seem to know how to glow when I could not. Every positive lifestyle change never put me with them. Not working out. Not good friends. Not a good job. Nothing. What else is there to do?

What I've found most helpful is see what other people do. Let them help bridge the gap between the uncomfortable unknown and the dull comfort zone.

Not necessarily mimic people to a tee (we don't wanna stalk!). But I get great ideas of things to try from friends and co-workers. Maybe a new hobby. Maybe a side job to pull in money. Maybe some of the advice you get here at ADDF. Something to fill that gaping hole of emptiness we all sometimes feel.

I had a reality check in my early 20's that caused me to get out of a dead end job and pursue my new career, and also bartended part time which did wonders for my social life. It was nothing short of a revelation. But as I guess us ADD'ers get, the newness/excitement of it wore off. So today I chase the next steps.

Think Mead hit on knowing direction. Sometimes it's quite difficult to figure out which direction to go and why. When you're stuck with this choice, I think it's OK to look to others to help enlighten you on what paths may hold something of interest to you, or even better - some paths you didn't even know existed.

Dunno if that helps any, but I always try to remember that while we all like to think we're unique, every little thing we are or do - someone has probably been/done it before us. Build a portfolio of those things by seeing what others do in their life.

I feel like I'm a big 'ol compilation of some of the best (and in some cases worst!) things I've learned from others.

That aside though, I have always wondered why others seem to know how to glow when I could not. Every positive lifestyle change never put me with them. Not working out. Not good friends. Not a good job. Nothing. What else is there to do?...

What I've found most helpful is see what other people do. Let them help bridge the gap between the uncomfortable unknown and the dull comfort zone. Stratdude, that part about 'glow' hit something I've wondered about over the years.... are you inattentive ADD, or hyperactive type? Just curious. Are you talking about the vivacious, lively, purposeful spirit some people have? Some of my 'glowiest' friends are hyperactive ADD, and while they may be vague where they're going in the long run, they're lighting up the world on their way to wherever.

I always figured it came down to energy, both mental and physical, along with knowing where you're going. Or, in the case of some of my less directed friends, the 'journey is the adventure' view. Inattentive ADD is the natural predator of energy... at least, that's been my experience.

That part about learning from other people--it's what I do too. There's a lot you can't learn from untreated ADD parents, so you have to find role models. Then there's the 'non'-role models, people I recognize as caricatures of parts of myself, and it's a great way to observe yourself from another perspective and be motivated to change.

Even as a kid I was looking at other families' lives and figuring out the history of why they were how they were, kind of as a roadmap. Or hearing people's ideas and decisions and waiting to see how it turned out for them. And then there's the 'pretend as if'... how would it feel to feel confident? How does it feel to be someone that can put others at ease? It was a game I played with great success in my 20's, and it really helped identify feelings or directions that were getting in my way.

[QUOTE=meadd823]
The only advice I have here is pretty dry but effective, I use a short phrase to remind my self

The phrase is “This too shall pass”


Dry yes but so true and actually comforting. I use it too for myself and my children.

Stratdude, that part about 'glow' hit something I've wondered about over the years.... are you inattentive ADD, or hyperactive type? Just curious.


I'm still learning about all this, but I believe I'm the inattentive type. Certainly no hyperactivity in my world.


That part about learning from other people--it's what I do too. There's a lot you can't learn from untreated ADD parents, so you have to find role models. Then there's the 'non'-role models, people I recognize as caricatures of parts of myself, and it's a great way to observe yourself from another perspective and be motivated to change.

It's one thing I've found puzzling that others don't do more. With so many people out there that likely can show us the results of a given experience before we take the same leap, why not take advantage of that?

I feel like I started way behind when I was young (elementary school years). But when I started learning what people's actions did for them (socially, professionally, etc), I did my best to follow the good, and avoid the bad. Lotsa talk on this board about over-analysis of people.....seems like one of the real positive ADD skills we get. :rolleyes:

Many times we make up excuses for not being able to go where we want, because of our disabilities etc., however many times it is our thinking that is most disabling.

Exactly. . . we do have things that we struggle with area that are not so grand however we also have areas where there is great potential. However it doesn’t do us any good to have talent or potential if we never attempt to exercise it. Focusing upon all that is wrong without acknowledging what is right is wasting what we have focusing on what we do not. . . thus we literally think ourselves into becoming that which we fear most. . .




I learned more about myself in those first few months of struggle than I can put into words.

How important of a point you have made here Vicki although I am pretty sure even you are unaware of just how important. . . because this one sentence has stated more than many books combined. . .

There are those who see ADD the disorder and others who see ADD the difference. . . even for those who see ADD the disorder and feel it has nothing good to offer Vicki has shown this is untrue.

Even if ADD is really responsible for all your bad traits and posses nothing good, good can still come from having or being ADD. . . (pardon the global mind here please.)

ADD causes us to struggle in some areas more than most folks, thus the frustration with these traits. The journey is often more important than the destination. . .

Not only am I ADHD I also have dyslexia. Things that come easy to many like telling the difference between their right hand and left, knowing the names of establishments just by reading the sign and having at least a small clue which direction is north are impossibilities for me that I may never master. . . I have been struggling all of my life. . . being hyperactive ADD and dyslexia meant school was a nightmare in kinder-garden. I have been tested and do have what is considered a high IQ but a lot of good that does when I can’t even communicate the ideas I have. . .

Sense they do not let one drop out of school in the first grade I had no choice but to live with my “handicaps” in a world full of people who thought I was stupid and often made fun of me. . . .

I have a brother who has a high IQ and absorbs information as fast as it can be presented. He has ADD also but is not as hyperactive. He doesn’t have dyslexia it seem he got both my directional abilities and my spelling ones. . . he never had to struggle in school. . .

At 18 he was in jail and I was in nursing school. . . apparently ability and intelligence had nothing to do with it. . . the difference I believe was in my ability to struggle through the hard times learned at an early age. When life began to resist him he didn’t have a clue what to do and didn’t want life to be hard. He is 22 and is still running from hardships life presents to us all. . .

I got further younger because of the journey of hardship that began before I was in the first grade. . . it is when we are struggling that the greatest opportunity for growth is occurring. . . if ADD make us struggle more than it is in a sense a good thing. . . never expose your muscles to resistance they will wither and die the same goes for life . . universal laws apply universally!




Think Mead hit on knowing direction. Sometimes it's quite difficult to figure out which direction to go and why.

In all honesty it is the picking of one direction that is the most challenging. . . I always want to go so many at once. I have boredom aversion like every one else here and I guess if I could find one thing and stick to it for 25-30 years that would be good however I have not mastered that ability any more than I have mastered the ability point which way is north. . . from any location on the globe. . . I do however have several abilities and add to the list every couple of years . I have been a nurse for the better part of 24 years, I have also roofed, recycled, unloaded trucks, worked in construction companies, drafted, waited tables, and partnered in a business(to list my hobbies would make this post too long). . .I know the things in a job that I can not handle (micro-managers, moronic head games, liars, thieves, mean people). . .




Lotsa talk on this board about over-analysis of people.....seems like one of the real positive ADD skills we get.

Agreed. . . although I am hyperactive I can also analyze people I just do it while in motion. . . people are external stimuli any and all external stimuli grabs my attention however because I am hyper and plain spoken I am often thought of as being without a social clue (many social rules are BS). . . one would be surprised what other people reveal when they think you don’t get it. . . I find it odd that most never realize that just before the political office explosion I am like gone. . . they just think I wiggled off at a good time but in reality I saw it coming. . .and moved.

Wow we have got some insightful people on this one!
Thanks Mead for tying it all together for those of us to impatient to read it all carefully.

I would not trade my ADD for anything,
I was undiagnosed until 40. I am now 43
Somehow life seems harder now that I "know"
What do you think about that?

[QUOTE=charonshanti]Stratdude, that part about 'glow' hit something I've wondered about over the years.... are you inattentive ADD, or hyperactive type? Just curious. Are you talking about the vivacious, lively, purposeful spirit some people have? Some of my 'glowiest' friends are hyperactive ADD, and while they may be vague where they're going in the long run, they're lighting up the world on their way to wherever.

I always figured it came down to energy, both mental and physical, along with knowing where you're going. Or, in the case of some of my less directed friends, the 'journey is the adventure' view. Inattentive ADD is the natural predator of energy... at least, that's been my experience.


Another flash; this energy thing I get it!
I am hyper, my mother undiagnosed inattentive, anyone else experience major problems when those 2 extremes clash?