Prelude - I'm not sure this is all just about my ADD. In fact I'm sure it's not. So many of my other ADD traits have improved, but I have one major area that is a struggle. I just need some feedback and hope that like-minded people will be able to help.



I stand at the edge of a deep dark hole. When I look down into it, I cannot see the bottom.

I don't need to, I've jumped down the hole before. I know that the fall is exhilirating.

I know that the fall makes me feel awake and alive.

But I also know that the bottom is dark and miserable.

The bottom of the hole is the worst place you could ever be, and I'm not even sure I would survive it this time.

Last time I jumped, it was all new. I didn't know what to expect from the fall or the landing.

I didn't know about myself, or why I wanted to jump.

I truly thought that there was something better at the bottom.

Now I know it's not the case.

Yet still, I feel this pulling. Like someone is grabbing my ankle and pulling me into the hole.

I feel the pull and struggle against it. I know I can keep up the struggle, but there's a part of me that doesn't want to.

You see, I remember the fall and how great it felt.

In my heart and in my mind, I don't want to jump.

It could change my life forever and not for the better.

But my will is weak and the pull is so strong.

Does anyone know how to strengthen my will?

Rid myself of the pull?

Walk away from the hole altogether?

My grip is weakening and any help will be greatly appreciated.

imagine that the two poles are the peak and trough of a wave moving forwards =>=
~~~~~~~
... movement in vertical and horizontal planes ...
... and that each switch therefore indicates progression
- now imagine a slinky describing a wave in just the vertical plane - that isn't you - you may feel that way - but not so - with each bounce you get closer.

SB, so it's all just a matter of perspective?

Sleepwalker, I really felt a connection with your writing. Awesome.

It really sounds a lot like depression, or bipolar disorder to me. :eek:

ME :D

I can relate to Sleepwalker, except that I would perfer the dark and miserable bottom to the deadness I have felt for so many years. BTW I am DX'ed with Inettentive ADHD and depression.

It really sounds a lot like depression, or bipolar disorder to me. :eek:

ME :D
I have a history of depression, no question about it. But, I am being treated and don't feel what I recognize as depression. The darkness is not necessarily meant to represent depression however, the consequences of jumping in will certainly lead to depression.

I am at a fork in my life. If I can stay strong, I will be happier in the long run and will be able to say I did the "right" thing. If I give in, I risk everything (my family, my job, my pride, my sense of self). It seems like a no-brainer when I read that sentence. Why is it so dang hard???:confused:

not enough information

Why is it so dang hard???:confused:It's the nature of the beast?

... just ... ->- ->- alongside perspective - are two of those words which're kinda' used to suggest the general sentiment underlying 'suck it up and blow it out' 'buttercup' - not this angle - but perhaps (instead) the looking glass viewed in Zach's (326) choice of signature ...
'in a world of malformed analogy - perspective is everything'

- my post - more making Speedo's post (noting my use of choice of 'poles') - alongside SOS's ->- need a little more information.

However from a bpI,II cyclothymic with SAD - (at least in the past) - the pattern which sleep is describing sounds like the real unwelcome physio-/- and not patho-/- physiological switch [which *however* does escalate to explain the hyper to hypomanic switch underlying mental disorder].

So 'hyper' kinda' rocks - 'hypo' kinda' sucks ... but importantly - not suggesting that sleep has an issue with mood swings or any formal disorder involving switches - but that the human mind has cyclothymia built in - a bipolar switch which - *we* ~feel~
- the experiential perspective of the switch being switched ... being of emothional lability
- however the switch being accompanied by a kinda' logical dance by the pattern within which knowledge is represented within our minds.

Imagine a bunch of beans strung together with a real thin wire - sat upon the skin of a drum - being beaten with a stick.
boing. boing. boing.

Or maybe a buncha beans strung together (as above) - however sticking on the surface - when the individual specific bean locates its beanie-home.

The ADDer has a unique perspective when it come to the mind.
The ADDer also has a greater tendency towards being wrenched out of current rrreality into rrReality more real.

Wrenched is the word - we have no real choice in the process - it occurs without conscious intervention - with conscious awareness subcomponent of mind as commentator in the process - this basic idea is permeating into med literature now - and I seem to remember was described in the issue within which the article which Nova recently referenced from 'Scientific American - Mind' ... current issue - seem to remember.

And putting the above two together - of actually viewing the whole process in action - of feeling the apprehension and the actual switch in mental states which accompanies the process.
And of feeling the depths of 'hypo' and (also) - the ecstacy of the 'hyper' when in that other place.

For fear that I'm writing at a tangent to sleep's question - just to terminate by - the pattern which we observe of ... underlying cyclothymia - two states - bipolar states - reflects other aspects of our environment - check out night and day - the waking and sleep states. Importantly - the Xdian where X may be infra ... circa ... {and others} ...

Often an expression of the lust for life expressed in the 'hyper' state - can be witnessed by the feel of the 'hypo' state - as unreal - as if one is asleep - strolling through life asleep above the stage of consciousness - in the hypo state -

- one might say

sleepwalking {perhaps)

sleepwalker?

... the good news though - and forgive me for writing this after all of your posts lmn --- I promise I won't haunt your nights in Scotland with similarly ... ... ...
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=349170&postcount=158

... now close your eyes - click your fingers or heels together thrice - now open your eyes - to the interface between the monochrome and the yellow brick roads - ahead yellow - behind black and white - perspective (that too) ... since it's the interface between the monochrome and the yellow brick road{}

[{...the journey's more important than the end or the start...}]

I have a history of depression, no question about it. But, I am being treated and don't feel what I recognize as depression. The darkness is not necessarily meant to represent depression however, the consequences of jumping in will certainly lead to depression.



I am at a fork in my life. If I can stay strong, I will be happier in the long run and will be able to say I did the "right" thing. If I give in, I risk everything (my family, my job, my pride, my sense of self). It seems like a no-brainer when I read that sentence. Why is it so dang hard???





It would be nice to have more information but I can really relate to this statement and kind of understand what you are getting at since I am going through a similar situation.

*disclaimer* I will try to provide some of my personal thoughts to the best of my ability however I am still trying to work a lot of things out myself.



There are two things that really called out to me in your posts. The first is that like myself, it seem like you have the feeling that there is something missing in your life or emptiness so to speak. The second thing is being able to say the “right” thing.



By outside appearances most people would think I have a good life. I have been married about 13 years to a wonderful caring person. I also have the sweetest daughter you could ever want and a decent job that pay’s fairly well. But you know what? I hate the life that I have (or at least unable to enjoy it). I should be very content however mostly what I feel is emptiness. I was diagnosed with ADHD and dysthymia a few months ago at age 36. I am currently taking meds and undergoing marriage counseling with my wife with very little improvement. In the mean time I have been doing a lot of soul searching and the biggest thing I have realized so far is my life has been defined by trying to do the “right” thing. This may sound noble but in my case I fell into the trap of going by what others felt was right. This caused me to neglect most of my wants and needs, be afraid to express my true self, and marry someone even though it did not feel right to me at the time. Like I said, I have built a fairly nice and stable life over the years but it really feels like I am living someone else’s life.



I still have many things to sort out, but I do know I will have to do what feels best to me if I want to reach any degree of contentment. I am trying everything I possibly can to save my marriage and enjoy the life I have but at some point I will have to move on if things do not improve for me. This may not sound fair to my family but if continuing to live in a bad situation because it’s the “right” thing to do will only lead to further depression, destructive behavior, and even suicide. All of which would hurt them more than divorce.



Hopefully I am not rambling on and this is helpful in some way. I just sound like you need to do a lot of soul searching and discuss things with your counselor and your family to try and figure out what you really want in life. Then try to achieve what you want or need with as little disruption as possible. If you have any questions feel free to ask. :D

I am at a fork in my life. If I can stay strong, I will be happier in the long run and will be able to say I did the "right" thing. If I give in, I risk everything (my family, my job, my pride, my sense of self). It seems like a no-brainer when I read that sentence. Why is it so dang hard???


ADD= B.A. = Boredom aversion ya wish to spark up zee ole life, The feeling of wanting to be any where but here even if here is where you should be according to the social book on proper responsible adult behavior. . . . . . .but it is NOT stimulating enough.

I see it more like leaping off a cliff. The ride down is way cool,. The huge splat at the end that is a major buzz kill. . . . . . .add variety to your life.



In the mean time I have been doing a lot of soul searching and the biggest thing I have realized so far is my life has been defined by trying to do the “right” thing. This may sound noble but in my case I fell into the trap of going by what others felt was right. This caused me to neglect most of my wants and needs, be afraid to express my true self, and marry someone even though it did not feel right to me at the time.

What my life is missing is living. . . . . .I am half standing on my feet in the chair while I write this is that normal. . . . .no not really although Gary has gotten used to my abnormal just as I have adjusted to his . . . . what I need is motion, movement, wiggles and squirms. Sitting, reading and typing boring….reading to music while sliding around in my chair more interesting. . . . .I don’t slide out into the floor nearly as often think my balance is improving.

Under arousal seeks more arousal (closer than one may think) In other wards life needs more living because life can boring the snot out of ya. . . .much like SB suggested.

to the interface between the monochrome and the yellow brick roads - ahead yellow - behind black and white - perspective (that too) ... since it's the interface between the monochrome and the yellow brick road{}

Boredom can be a perspective thing. . can be perceived as many other things and/or can be changed by adjusting perception. . .the perceptual error is often what we choose to use as excitement (thus the splat at the bottom of the cliff)

My suggestion is instead of jumping off the bloomin cliff one may find hang gliding equally exciting with out the painfully sudden stop.


Perspective ------>attitude------->actions = hmmmm life, (cliff jumping or hang gliding!)

My suggestion is instead of jumping off the bloomin cliff one may find hang gliding equally exciting with out the painfully sudden stop.Yoh Baby!

Often an expression of the lust for life expressed in the 'hyper' state - can be witnessed by the feel of the 'hypo' state - as unreal - as if one is asleep - strolling through life asleep above the stage of consciousness - in the hypo state -

- one might say

sleepwalking {perhaps)

sleepwalker?
...the dreamers are a'wakin'...
Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.

Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection;
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

[Linkin Park][Papercut lyrics]

ps ugottit


Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices?
A face that awakes when I close my eyes

I've heard them calling my name.
A face ... It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within

Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
A face that laughs every time I fall

The voice might be one and the same.
A face ... with a voice in the back of my head

I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
A face which watches every time I lie (And watches everything)

It's something that I'm s'posed to be.
a face in me ... You've got a face on the inside too
Points out all my mistakes to me ... Yours to you too.

Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection;
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
The face inside is right beneath your skin

The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
The sun goes downI find myself inside of me
The sun goes down
I find myself within
The sun goes down
I awaken from the darkness
{without}
The sun goes down
Reconciled {my position} - alone within

By the way sleep - life as an amalgam of multiple 'journeys' between these poles
- is represented by my signature ...

...{++}n...

... is an important idea to me, to ADD, to man - the journey being represented by n transitions between + && + ... ... ...

Moderator weeeeeeing whilst hang gliding between two cliffswhoosh!

ADD= B.A. = Boredom aversionWhere boredom is a representation of insufficient mental stimulation - where mental stimulation is not necessarily borne through thought about deep and meaningful things - think stimulation as plain old neurones goin' pop - or in slightly more revealing language - neurotransmission.

Sitting, reading and typing boring
….reading to music while sliding around
Sitting, reading and typing <<<neurotransmission<<< than reading to music while sliding around

One might call the ADD mind - a hungry mind ...
One might call the ADD mind - a hungry mind
Is there an echo in here?
Is there an echo in here?
Where's ADD forums subsection "unexpected ADDF echo reporting"?
Where's ADD forums subsection "unexpected ADDF echo reporting"?grrr!!!
woof!!!

Aha :-)

Prelude - I'm not sure this is all just about my ADD. In fact I'm sure it's not. So many of my other ADD traits have improved, but I have one major area that is a struggle. I just need some feedback and hope that like-minded people will be able to help.

I stand at the edge of a deep dark hole. When I look down into it, I cannot see the bottom.

I don't need to, I've jumped down the hole before. I know that the fall is exhilirating.

I know that the fall makes me feel awake and alive.

But I also know that the bottom is dark and miserable.

The bottom of the hole is the worst place you could ever be, and I'm not even sure I would survive it this time.

Last time I jumped, it was all new. I didn't know what to expect from the fall or the landing.

I didn't know about myself, or why I wanted to jump.

I truly thought that there was something better at the bottom.

Now I know it's not the case.

Yet still, I feel this pulling. Like someone is grabbing my ankle and pulling me into the hole.

I feel the pull and struggle against it. I know I can keep up the struggle, but there's a part of me that doesn't want to.

You see, I remember the fall and how great it felt.

In my heart and in my mind, I don't want to jump.

It could change my life forever and not for the better.

But my will is weak and the pull is so strong.

Does anyone know how to strengthen my will?

Rid myself of the pull?

Walk away from the hole altogether?

My grip is weakening and any help will be greatly appreciated.
I really do like what you've written here. I guess I'm pretty simple minded because I don't understand most of the other replies here, but you know what my first thought is when I read this, "addiction." Not necessarily drugs but some type. I couldn't help but think about my own trouble quitting smoking.

It may not be something this simple. Maybe that it's a whole lot deeper but that's just my first thought.

Hey Sleepwalker,
Hang in there.... I know that dark hole calling you. It calls to me too. Wow...is all I can say. Don't let it make the choice for you. You stand strong and talk out loud to yourself. That may "wake" you up and realize you are in a "dangerous" situation.

...funny thing with addiction is that we all know about it - and yet few venture into the territory of how not the pharmacology - but the experiential perspective in on addiction - that overwhelming desire at cost to all in its wake.
Just eeems to me that underneath the neuro/experiential mechanism(s) for all out addiction will fall - on the one side - a graded set of emotions - taking in feelings as inocuous as the feeling which equates to 'kinda' like - I guess' and on the other side (just barely on the other side of the line) - 'not sure that I really like' ...
So - imagine a wave - with depth of positive desire and depth of negative desire.
Imagine a wave - then - with the desire to satisfy the addiction - defined by the despair felt at the worst point of being unable to satisfy that addiction.
And then a whole buncha' other emotions as borrowed from these - the only difference magnitude and context.
So mild happiness - with that exact same feeling as one satisfies the addictive desire.
omg ->- cig#1 + alcohol#3 -<- in the pre-lil'guy days ...
Once again then - reiteration of ...{++}n...
...except it's all smoke and mirrors.
No coinidence - exactly the same -
great call
noting hare and tortoise, runninl8
... Imagine then a bipolar mechanism which underlies addiction.
Emotion.
Thought.
2 poles.

... so why 2 poles?
Think man as an environmental construct.
Or mind of man as an environmental construct.
And then just about the biggest thing in our lives.
~The humble wave~
+......+......+......+......+......
...+... ...+... ...+... ...+... ...+...

my first thought is when I read this, "addiction." Not necessarily drugs but some type.
I think it is an addiction. It is not drugs, although I suppose it could be if I wandered down that road. That addictive personality has always been a huge part of me. I believe that my ADD has something to do with my all or nothing approach to everything. I have started read on addictions. I appreciate everyones comments and support.

And so you know......

I took a step into the hole

I haven't fallen in completely

I am still holding the edge with my hands

I know I can still pull myself out

My grip is getting weak

I am trying to stay strong

Hey sleepwalker, I just happened to read your other post before this one, so if I'm correct, are you thinking of cheating on your wife agian?

If that's your issue, perhaps you should talk to your counselor asap BEFORE you cross the line....because judging from your previous posts, it doesn't seem like you were happy with the end result of your affair-- and niether was your wife.

For the time being, you may just have to take yourself out of the situation where you meet this other girl.... seriously, the thrill of an affair may be what's getting you, but are you really prepared for everything after that? Will you be able to look your wife in the eyes and simply tell her you have an addictive personality, and that's why you did whatever you did? Are you prepared for the "thrill" of hurting those you love and dealing with the consequences? People make mistakes, and can be forgiven once....it gets harder to do that if you create a pattern.

I'm sorry if I'm being a bit harsh, but I just want to put it bluntly--your thrill for a few days could possibly be somthing you regret for the rest of your life... and if you don't stop for yourself, at least think about how your actions could change the rest of your wife's life--regardless of whether she stays with you or dumps you, you will scar her for life.

If you keep wanting to cheat on her, perhaps there is something you need to fix in your marriage-- I'd suggest you work on that first.

I may have been completly off the mark here, but I was just going by one of your previous threads... so my appologies if what you're talking about is not an affair.

Sleep...,

If this doesn't help, please disregard it. I don't really know what you're going thru exactly, but I do have tempting "dark holes" of my own.

Heres what i'm learning (hopefully).

I always choose the hole. I never really fall in.

The holes no good man.

The more you choose the hole, the more the hole becomes your definition of reality, and you forget what the surface ever looked like. Things get twisted, and you end up more and more isolated, alone, and dead because you chose the familiar self-centered darkness instead of the unknown light.

The surface is a lot better. The risk is worth it.

The more you choose the surface, the smaller the hole becomes, until eventually you will hardly remember it.

We can make good choices. If we make bad ones, its because we chose them.

It may not seem like it, but you are still free not to choose the hole.

You are not trapped! You are free!

Choose well friend.

I know you can.

Lunar.....

Sleep...,

If this doesn't help, please disregard it. I don't really know what you're going thru exactly, but I do have tempting "dark holes" of my own.

Heres what i'm learning (hopefully).

I always choose the hole. I never really fall in.

The holes no good man.

The more you choose the hole, the more the hole becomes your definition of reality, and you forget what the surface ever looked like. Things get twisted, and you end up more and more isolated, alone, and dead because you chose the familiar self-centered darkness instead of the unknown light.

The surface is a lot better. The risk is worth it.

The more you choose the surface, the smaller the hole becomes, until eventually you will hardly remember it.

We can make good choices. If we make bad ones, its because we chose them.

It may not seem like it, but you are still free not to choose the hole.

You are not trapped! You are free!

Choose well friend.

I know you can.

Lunar.....
You have no idea how much it helps. You are exactly right. Sometimes I don't feel like I have the choice, but I really do. I already know what choice I want to make, now all I have to do is stick with it. The world is full of holes with a variety of things in them. I need to, no I WILL, avoid this one. I can only hope that the hole gets smaller as time goes on so that it gets easier.

Thank you!

Sleep..,

I'm glad it helped. Writing that helped me too.

The holes will get smaller and our life will get better as long as we resist the easy way out. I guarantee it;).

Lunar....

You have no idea how much it helps. You are exactly right. Sometimes I don't feel like I have the choice, but I really do. I already know what choice I want to make, now all I have to do is stick with it. The world is full of holes with a variety of things in them. I need to, no I WILL, avoid this one. I can only hope that the hole gets smaller as time goes on so that it gets easier.

Thank you!It will get smaller! The temptation will diminish as time goes on. You hang in there, ok? Your wife must love you a lot!! Now, get out of that hole so you can look her straight in the eye and be proud. Good luck, Sleepwalker.

What hole???

Yeah for me!:D

I'm guessing you've passed a milestone from your last post.

Congratulations Sleep... !!!

Lunar..

But my will is weak and the pull is so strong.
Does anyone know how to strengthen my will?
Rid myself of the pull?
Walk away from the hole altogether?

Interesting. I saw this thread for the first time just now, thus got the dynamics of it evolving. Addiction or substance abuse was my first thought as well. Turns out maybe it's sexual addiction? Maybe I'm way off, but you were a bit cryptic.

I know that hole.... I've jumped in it. My general sense when I did it was that as I fell, I reached wayyyyy back and up and gave god the finger. "F*** you, I did it again!!!, I win!!! You didn't get me!!!". But there was a definite thrill each time.

I haven't jumped in that hole for some years now. I'm not sure that it is even still there. But I'm not looking for it, so it's a moot point.

The quoted lines attracted my attention. The only way I know to walk away from these holes is through the process of "recovery". I know the way recovery works for me, but there are other ways. Perhaps this is an avenue to explore?

hey sleepwalker, I just happened to read your other post before this one, so if I'm correct, are you thinking of cheating on your wife again?

You want to really face a challenge? Allow her the same luxury , let her play by the same rules you are. Can you handle that idea? If not then you are cheating and lying to yourself even more so . Oh it will probably destroy your marriage any way but at least you won’t be a liar or a cheat. It will be different very different. . . . . How good are ya really? Can you survive facing the stark naked truth. . . . it ain’t easy but it is honest. . . the honest survive the roller coaster ride the liar dies by their own head . . it is the hard and fast, drowning in a blaze of ka-boom but the honest the exciting the ADHD way. . . . if it is the physical you choose to go it will take your mind on one heck of a ride. . . .better be good darn good. . . at being secure in who you are.

Cheating is when one partner wants to play by one set of rules and failing to tell the other thus a liar. The cheating comes from excepting the other person to play by another stricture set of relationship rules . . .that you have chosen to ignore. . . you are pretending to be a person when this is practiced and this sort of pretending is for weaklings who can’t handle the reality of . . . their own insecurities.

Thanks for that confirmation there I just read between the lines Is it the lack of excitement the desire to engage in the pursuit. . . . then you are just jumping . . . jumping off of the cliff of life. Ask thy self how many times do ya got to get burn by the fire before you learn not to place your hand in it. . . . .


You need excitement fine but find one of a healthier kind, Begin by facing the need. . . . and dare to ask why! What do you get out of it? How else can you get it. . . . without being a liar. . . . . no connection with life long partner? I understand! Want that deep inner connection?. . . I know and I also know that it can happen without the cheating. . .. . . . no physical contact needs to happen . . .no vows need be broken . . . . . hang gliding. . . souring . . . hello. I know at least one other in this discussion knows what I am saying here because they have been there done that tooooo.




Addiction or substance abuse was my first thought as well. Turns out maybe it's sexual addiction? Maybe I'm way off, but you were a bit cryptic.

Hmmm I think I knew, other wise this thread would have been moved to the substance abuse section. . .




But there was a definite thrill each time.

Nothing like a nice ride on the winds of the soul . . . . your wife will hurt from another affair in the beginning . . . .but she will be over it before you are . . . what goes around comes around . . . . . reap what you sow. . .universal laws apply universally. Ya can’t sour if you are weighed down by guilt and bad “karma”

There is more to us than the physical urges, perhaps your urge is a result of a failure to explore that which lies beyond the physical side of life. . . explore the mind from the sky. . . . you won’t be alone!

Once I recognized the difference between the need to be who I was designed to be and the cheap imitation of physical affairs I have gained the ability to walk right over the whole without falling in . . . I can be standing with in feet and never cross the line . . . simply because that is not who I was designed to be. . . . I am no liar. . . to win the battle within self . . .to rid one self of delusion and live by use of the mind . . . the connection of that mind . . . . . nothing more elating than that. . . . to be. . . truly free. . . . competes with and last longer than the “Oooo”! Oh yea !

Just an idea or two for you to ponder.

Mead

You point out all the rational aspects of why not to jump in whatever hole it is that is actually under discussion here, and those are really important. I don't want to discount your post, or detract from it. But maybe there is another side to the discussion. Why do people knowingly do self-destructive things? It's often physical addiction, where the brain/mind just isn't the dominant part of the picture. A lot of people seem to think it can involve some diffuse moral laxness (people are on the street because they want to be, or they're "too lazy to get their sh** together": there is a societal facet as well - not going there right now).

But, since this is the forum we are in, let's consider a really hard cause-and-effect connection to ADD. Anything that happens with sufficient intensity can help one grab hold of the nozzle of the firehose of attention. I think this is why some kids can really settle down and focus on schoolwork with the earbuds in and the music cranked, but without that additional sensory load they can't read through a problem -- been there myself. Why a high proportion of skydivers have ADD. It's that reaching out for anything really intense just because it's intense, because that mitigates the ADD. And that craving for intensity lets people cross some moral boundaries they otherwise wouldn't. Boundaries they are fully aware of. (I'm sure y'all will let me know if this is a crock.) You'd want to make sure the ADD was being treated optimally, then see what remains of the impulsive tendencies, especially those that are self-destructive or harmful to others.

So-- sleepwalker, maybe you should think about jumping out of an airplane instead of down your metaphorical hole? [[[[Sleepwalker, in all seriousness, your initial post was pretty dark and haunting....if there is real self-destructiveness involved I hope you are getting real help with the real issue....not with a metaphor for the issue.]]]]

I don't want to discount your post, or detract from it. But maybe there is another side to the discussion. Why do people knowingly do self-destructive things?

Destructive behaviors are often a result of being in search of. . . .a better feeling than we have at the moment the destructive behavior began. . . we are looking for fulfillment or relief from the internal pain . . . it doesn’t matter what sort of addictive behavior we speak it is all driven by a desire to change the way we feel – this is one things I know; it was a very expensive lesson I do not let it out of my sight.


I do not see how you could possible discount my post. You just said the same thing but differently using a physical suggestion instead of a mental one. . . however I do wish to point out here that the need is perceived in the mind so it is my suspicion that the answer is also in the same mind. . . literally.





Why a high proportion of skydivers have ADD. It's that reaching out for anything really intense just because it's intense, because that mitigates the ADD. And that craving for intensity lets people cross some moral boundaries they otherwise wouldn't.


We have needs that are often misinterpertated by us as physical when in reality they are emotional or mindful. How many spouse have affairs looking for not only excitement but a connection deep with in. The excitement makes ADDer feel more connected thus the brief illusion of finding an answer when what has happen is an addition to the problem because the drive behind the need was never addressed. . . the person failed to look inside as to the why . . . name the feeling one wishes to escape . . . .then take the time to really look for an answer from with in. . . .the answer lies inside of sleepwalker the best any of us can do is to awaken the answer that is already there.

In reality the disconnection can only be reconnected from within our selves. Saying the same thing differently To feel excited to is to be connected this can be obtained in healthier way. Weather we are hang gliding in meditation, or hang gliding in the physical either will prove more productive than cheating on a spouse.

Weather we are hang gliding in meditation, or hang gliding in the physical either will prove more productive than cheating on a spouse.
Right, absolutely, wrong is wrong no matter what the motivation. So my suggestion to go jump out of an airplane was more real than not. Which reminds me...... I've been thinking about my parents, looking to see if there is a genetic link to, and source of, my ADD (neither has been diagnosed, but in hindsight there are some very familiar things). And this jumping and hang glidiing talk has reminded me of one of my mother's favorite sayings ... "go jump in a lake". I always thought it was just a way to avoid swearing, but maybe it's more. Sure would be an appealing way for an ADDer to break out of one space into another.

My mother always told me to run around the block. . . a time or three. . .

Hey Sleepwalker, How's life going for you? Haven't seen you in a while.... Hope things are going well!
The WFH