I have a problem with the fact that I do not like to make simple decisions. I will give you an example.

Today I wanted stew for dinner, so when I went to the grocery store I was overwhelmed by all the choices, and this happens to me a lot. Then I don't want stew anymore I want pasta, meat and veggies, etc....

In short this causes me anxiety, and I am like "what is wrong with me". I never understood the people that can have their meals planned out all week, or just people with simple plans in general....I wish they could teach me their secret, or I wish I could trick my mind into just making a decision. It is the same all the time.

Then I end up spending to much on groceries, go home and don't eat anything. I do this a lot ...oh yeah I said that.

Another is going to the movies, its like the more choices I have the harder it is for me to decide. Then most times I don't end up doing anything. Then I feel bad about it, like guilty about myself ya know, like what I am not doing, and what I am capable of doing.

P.S. I still don't know what I am going to eat. Drinking a tea right now. lol

I guess this is just a rant.:o

All comments welcome.

I was going to mention indicisiveness on here once, but for some reason I never got round to it. I have a big problem making simple decisions too, it's really frustrating sometimes not only for me but for people waiting for me to come to a decision!

Sometimes I just prefer other people to decide for me because otherwise I'll be trying to decide for ages and will never get anywhere. :rolleyes:

Is this common with ADHD?

It's common with *me.* I *have* to go into a store with a list most times. There are too many choices, and then choices on top of choices (like, X is healthier than Y, but I have to do 47 steps to prepare Y, and I just remembered that Z recipe calls for cornstarch, which I don't know if I have, and I really need a protein source for that anyway, and I'd like tofu, but then I'd have to be home the whole weekend to change the water every day...at this point, I usually end up buying a bag of Fritos and going home :))

It's common with *me.* I *have* to go into a store with a list most times. There are too many choices, and then choices on top of choices (like, X is healthier than Y, but I have to do 47 steps to prepare Y, and I just remembered that Z recipe calls for cornstarch, which I don't know if I have,
That is me too, I get home with half the ingredients and have to go back to the store, which I don't do because I get distracted, and then I don't feel like making anything.

Boone1- I also rather people make the simple decisions for me, because I find it too hard on my own.


I really should write a list, and sometimes I do but, I forget it on the kitchen counter or something.

I'm extremely indecisive... perhaps I'm worried about making decisions too carelessly?

yes, this could be the problem with me too. I do this at restaurants too. I go with friends or family and they are all waiting for me. Or if I want to be quick I just get what I had the last time, no fun though. Never try anything new. Some people call me boring and that bothers me.

With the restaurant thing, I just don't want to order something and be dissapointed if I don't like it. Like I feel guilty about not going with my routine.

So yeah, I am very carefull, therefore causes me to be extremely indecisive.

I would have replied to this sooner but I couldnt decide if I should or not!! hehehehe:D

I hate making decisions and I do the same thing in the grocery store, trying to decide what to get to make and then if i decide on chicken, well then I have think about how to prepare it!!!:eek: This is why I always put off planning meals, then I run around like crazy at the last minute getting everything together. :faint: People don't seem to understand when I say that deciding on what to make for dinner is more than half the battle for me, once I know what I am making, it's all downhill from there! Just like Grade A, I also don't understand how people plan out there meals for the week all the time. I have done it with the help of my husband on occasion, but I couldn't do it on my own. I am constantly asking my husband what "he" wants for dinner.:D

Yep sounds like we have a lot in common. If I lived by myself I could swear I wouldn't get anything done. And probably starve or live off of chips and junk.
He doesn't help sometimes too because I am on the computer in the living room and he is in on the computer in the den, and its like 9:00pm...and he comes out and says..."what about dinner" ughhhhhh

IToday I wanted stew for dinner, so when I went to the grocery store I was overwhelmed by all the choices, and this happens to me a lot. Then I don't want stew anymore I want pasta, meat and veggies, etc....Yeah, I was getting to where I HATED shopping because I would come out drained and unhappy. Took me a long time to figure out why.

Same thing for me--it's definitely the overwhelm of too many choices. So if I don't need something from a particular aisle, I don't go there. (Of course, if there are 4 things on one aisle I still have to go there 4 times because I go for olives but actually get the tomato sauce... ARGGHHH. Store employees have been known to comment on how many times I've been through the aisle they're working on.) When I'm done with my list I leave.

If my ADD is particularly bad I deliberately shop at a smaller store, and pare my list down to essentials. Or I'll shop at a store with fewer choices, even if it's larger--at club stores don't have to choose between brands--you either like their brand of canned corn or you don't! And I don't have to figure out how many to get, either, because they come in a pack, and if there's 8 in a pack, that's how many you get. No-brainer. (The decision, not me. Well, there are times I feel like a no-brainer...:p )

And if I actually have to decide between stew or pasta at the store...well, one choice is ok. Two of those choices and I'm fried. That's when I start coming home with too much or nothing at all.

I just can't go to the store and browse. "ADD-friendly ways to organize your life" suggests making a standing two-week menu of quick dinners and just rotate through it. That's what my husband has been suggesting for years too, but it just seemed like a cop-out. I only recently realized that following a 2-week rotation would give me more variety than our meals now (which at least half the time is what I can think of to make last-minute. Not much variety there.) It's taken me two weeks to actually fill in a two-week ADD-friendly menu--shouldn't that be easy?!!!-- and I figure on my good days I can fill in with something more creative. Now I just have to follow through....;)

yeah so needless to say ,guess what I had tonight, after all the grocery store crapola....

Chicken nuggets and wedges lol, nice fast no-brainer lol

Of course, if there are 4 things on one aisle I still have to go there 4 times because I go for olives but actually get the tomato sauce... ARGGHHH. Store employees have been known to comment on how many times I've been through the aisle they're working on.That's so funny! Sometimes I feel a little embarassed because I make so many trips back and forth across the store. It always seems like if I forgot to get something, it's on the other side of the store. And then once I get over there I realize I forgot something else, and of course it's back on the side I was just on. Back and forth, back and forth, and usually with the squeakiest cart they've got. :p

I have gotten into the habit of making lists, which makes everything less stressful. A lot of times I buy more than what's on the list, but at least I don't forget as many things. I started making shopping lists for my mom when I was about 14 (she's a terribly impulsive shopper and takes forever to go through the grocery store), and then continued to do that when I started doing the shopping for us when I was 16. I got out of the habit for a while, but I try to keep a running list of things I need in my day planner now. Then when I go to the store I can just grab it and take it with me.

"ADD-friendly ways to organize your life" suggests making a standing two-week menu of quick dinners and just rotate through it. That's what my husband has been suggesting for years too, but it just seemed like a cop-out. I only recently realized that following a 2-week rotation would give me more variety than our meals now (which at least half the time is what I can think of to make last-minute. Not much variety there.) It's taken me two weeks to actually fill in a two-week ADD-friendly menu--shouldn't that be easy?!!!-- and I figure on my good days I can fill in with something more creative. Now I just have to follow through....;)This is such a good idea. I like to be creative with my cooking, but it takes so much longer and is more stressful that way. If I can find time to do this I think I'm going to. I have at least (for the most part) gotten to where I make bigger meals on Tuesdays so we'll have leftovers on Wednesday, when I have a night class and don't get home until 8 or 9pm.

I can't decide if I'm indecisive or not! :eyebrow:

Actually....

I'm so indecisive.....that I don't even get to go to the grocery store anymore! I came home one to many times with like 5 bottles of bar-b-que sauce simply because I couldn't make up my mind which one to buy, so I just bought them all!

I'm so indecisive.....that I have 6+ years of college simply because I can't decide what I want to be when I grow up. (I'm 43 years old)

I'm so indecisive.....I have a subscription to consumer reports so I can just go out and buy whatever they say is best!

I'm so indecisive.....that my fiance had to wait 10 years before I finally proposed!

I'm so indecisive.....it took 30 minutes just to write and then re-write this post, before I finally just gave up and hit the submit button! (BTW, It's a good thing they have a 30 minute limit to edit your posts, otherwise I might still be editing this post a couple of hours from now!!!) :D

Peace! :)

I can't decide if I'm indecisive or not! :eyebrow:

Actually....

I'm so indecisive.....that I don't even get to go to the grocery store anymore! I came home one to many times with like 5 bottles of bar-b-que sauce simply because I couldn't make up my mind which one to buy, so I just bought them all!

I'm so indecisive.....that I have 6+ years of college simply because I can't decide what I want to be when I grow up. (I'm 43 years old)

I'm so indecisive.....I have a subscription to consumer reports so I can just go out and buy whatever they say is best!

I'm so indecisive.....that my fiance had to wait 10 years before I finally proposed!

I'm so indecisive.....it took 30 minutes just to write and then re-write this post, before I finally just gave up and hit the submit button! (BTW, It's a good thing they have a 30 minute limit to edit your posts, otherwise I might still be editing this post a couple of hours from now!!!) :D

Peace! :)First, we must do something about that 30 minute edit time limit!
Second, what a OFFENSIVE post :mad:...

...oh, wait, I forgot to count: one, two, three, four....

OK, all better, sorry :D.

SL :)

I'm so indecisive.....I have a subscription to consumer reports so I can just go out and buy whatever they say is best!
How is the stuff that you buy from this list? Up to snuff?

...I never understood the people that can have their meals planned out all week, or just people with simple plans in general....I wish they could teach me their secret, or I wish I could trick my mind into just making a decision. It is the same all the time....
Had to laugh at this! A LOOONNNGGG time ago, I worked for the most on-point/organized person I have ever known in my life! She was a great lady, but organized to the point of bizarre.

So, I'm doin my secretary thing...and her husband calls, frantic. He HAS to talk to her! I couldn't find her, but offered to write a message and walk through the building searching for her. His message, I kid you not, was 'Burger King is having two for two dollar whoppers today, and I need to know if we can have that instead of the planned meal for tonight. I need to know ASAP so I can make sure to change my route home if it's OK." I took great pride in my professionalism as I stiffled the overwhelming chuckles bubbling inside me as I took the message, relayed it, then got to call him back with the approved deviation from their MONTHLY menu!

While ADHD isn't a picnic all the time, I'm EXTREMELY glad I don't live so rigidly that I can't allow for some spontenaity.

As for grocery stores...I have learned I gotta take a list, or I shop like a kid with $20 bucks and no parents for the weekend. And I keep a pad of paper on the fridge so I can write down stuff I know is needed as I run out.

lol Yeah I have to remember to keep a list...

Trying to keep a list since I could write (serca 1982) lol

I'm fortunate enough, to live in a country, where I'm able to choose among the variety of options available, to me.

The beauty of it is, that during the process of 'catering' to 'everyone', by having so many options available, I'm also included in this process.

I have related, in the past, as to how deciding between 12 choices, or making a 'hurried' decision can trigger anxiety...for whatever the reason.

And once in a blue moon, I still relate to that anxiety, lol !

I now, only try to worry about making the 'right choice', for really important matters, in my life. And that is never something I do in a 'hurry'.

Grocery ingredients, restaurant menu options, movies available...etc.

Those are things I consider insignificant, and if I don't make the 'right choice', or choose hastily, they're not going to be deterimental to the wellness, of my mental health.

There was a great post on here, that referred having to make decisions, amongst the many choices available.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=190292#post190292

". . . I never understood the people that can have their meals planned out all week, or just people with simple plans in general....I wish they could teach me their secret. . . "


I realize that most people will find THIS opinion of mine pretty EXTREME - but I can't stand it that people even HAVE this whole "dinner" thing in the first place. Like the flippin' "THREE MEALS" each day, AND ALL at the same time, day after day . . . and you are expected to eat ONLY CERTAIN kinds of foods, in CERTAIN amounts - and eat "so" much at a time (or, I guess you call it a "sitting"). Ugh!! I HATE THAT!!

I hate having it be decided WHEN I would like to put some food into my body, how many TIMES this should be, WHERE it should happen (like ALL TOGETHER at ONE table - en masse . . . ).

To me - EATING is similar to emptying your bladder and bowels: IT'S A VERY PERSONAL & PRIVATE MATTER!! Nobody tells you WHEN to go to the toilet, HOW many times you can go, WHAT you must "dispose of" in the toilet, in what proportions and at what time . . .

Am I weird? :eyebrow:

Sue

P.S. Yes, I'm single.

No not weird ...just your opinion.

I have to agree with some of what you said, I eat when I am hungry..period.
When invited to other people house I tend not to go most of the time, except if its my parents, and they don't care how much I eat and if I eat at all for that matter.

So, I tend to decline dinner offers.

First, we must do something about that 30 minute edit time limit!
Second, what a OFFENSIVE post :mad:...

...oh, wait, I forgot to count: one, two, three, four....

OK, all better, sorry :D.

SL :) :) I'm so indecisive....that I can't decide if I like you or not!! :)

I'm not absolutely sure (Indecisive :) ) but I believe we are suppose to count: one, two, three, four....before we submit the post, aren't we? :)

Your so ornery! :) (I'm not indecisive about that!) :)

Note: Extra effort was made to include as many happy faces as possible...

So, I'm doin my secretary thing...and her husband calls, frantic. He HAS to talk to her! I couldn't find her, but offered to write a message and walk through the building searching for her. His message, I kid you not, was 'Burger King is having two for two dollar whoppers today, and I need to know if we can have that instead of the planned meal for tonight. I need to know ASAP so I can make sure to change my route home if it's OK." I took great pride in my professionalism as I stiffled the overwhelming chuckles bubbling inside me as I took the message, relayed it, then got to call him back with the approved deviation from their MONTHLY menu!
This is truly scary. What I want to know is this: is she organized to the point of bizarre because her husband is severely ADD and needs the structure, or is he that way because she's so controlling? I've read a lot of ADD'ers wind up in controlling relationships because it's just easier to put it all in someone else's hands.

Between the two, I'll take our old dinner routine....'what'dya want for dinner?' 'I dunno, what do you want for dinner?' 'I dunno, oh, here's some chips... nachos sound good?' 'We don't have beans.' 'Ok, well, tortilla soup?' 'Yeah, that sounds good. Want me to scramble some eggs with that?' 'No eggs.' 'Oh, yeah, forgot to write them on the list when we had this same conversation yesterday.':rolleyes:

Seriously, it doesn't sound like it but the two-week rotation (as much as I have worked out) is actually freeing me up for more creativity. Including the creative choice of crumpling it and throwing it in the trash if I want. So far so good.

How is the stuff that you buy from this list? Up to snuff?I believe so. However if you think about it, how would I really know if it wasn't "up to snuff?" I mean I never buy any of the other stuff! :)

BTW, where do you suppose the saying "Up to snuff" came from?

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snuff1 (snŭf) http://content.answers.com/main/content/img/pron.gif

v., snuffed, snuff·ing, snuffs. v.tr.



To inhale (something) audibly through the nose; sniff.
To sense or examine by smelling; sniff at.
v.intr. To sniff; inhale.

n. The act of snuffing or the sound produced by it; a snuffle. (LOL @ snuffle :D )


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snuff2 (snŭf) http://content.answers.com/main/content/img/pron.gif
n.

The charred portion of a candlewick.

tr.v., snuffed, snuff·ing, snuffs.

To extinguish: snuffed out the candles.
To put a sudden end to: lives that were snuffed out by car accidents.
Slang. To kill; murder.
To cut off the charred portion of (a candlewick).
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snuff3 (snŭf) http://content.answers.com/main/content/img/pron.gif
n.

A preparation of finely pulverized tobacco that can be drawn up into the nostrils by inhaling. Also called smokeless tobacco.
The quantity of this tobacco that is inhaled at a single time; a pinch.

A powdery substance, such as a medicine, taken by inhaling.
intr.v., snuffed, snuff·ing, snuffs. To use or inhale snuff.

idiom: up to snuff Informal.




Normal in health.
Up to standard; adequate.
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Yes, the stuff I have bought using consumer reports was "Normal in health"! hehe :D

...

I'm so indecisive....I won't even vote! LOL :D

Today is your voting day right? and thanks for the thorough meanings of "snuff" quite entertaining :)

To indicisive to buy anything are ya! lol

To indicisive to buy anything are ya! lol Good one! :D

When they start allowing us to vote online, then I will start voting again!

Today is your voting day right? Yes :(

you bad boy seek! Nah just joshin ya.

YOu should write the gov't about that, and while your at write the Canadian gov't too. lol:)

I can't stand waiting in line for food, much less vote?

Note: Extra effort was made to include as many happy faces as possible...THANKS :mad:...

THANKS :mad:... LOL :D

Solarlife and seek!

watching your posts cracks me up heeheehee

Solarlife and seek!

watching your posts cracks me up heeheeheeYOU KEEP OUT OF THIS :mad:...

one, two, THREE, FOUR.....

Oh, thanks, Grade A

SL :)

Lmao....

Lmao....me too :D

Sheesh, I only have to make one of two choices when it comes to dinner: who is gonna put the meal in the microwave or which restaurant you wanna go to?

Sheesh, I only have to make one of two choices when it comes to dinner: who is gonna put the meal in the microwave or which restaurant you wanna go to?if it wasn't for clif bar's, i'd starve to death...

no, really

if it wasn't for clif bar's, i'd starve to death...

no, really
Oh hey, I hear ya. When I was out in the field taking pictures all summer, I lived on power bars, clif bars, etc. I always have some in the car, in my desk, camera bag, cause I eat like a horse.

I always have some in the car, in my desk, camera bag, cause I eat like a horse. Like a buffalo too?? :D

Like a buffalo too?? :D
Yes, i'm actually a hybrid animal: half buffalo, half rabbit-on-crack
;)

Rate my post guys/gals? pwease

Rate my post guys/gals? pweasewe don't want to hurt your feelings :rolleyes:

ahhh thats rotten Solarlife:(

thanks for rating my thread :)

No problem today, my cooworker picked the place to get lunch...so I didn't have to decide what to eat.
I try to bring my lunch most days, so I have no other choice.

I have the same problem. I drive my husband crazy. It takes me hours to find something to wear. For example....I put two different shoes on at a time and then ask my husband which shoe and when he picks I want to know why he didn't choose the other one. I use to be really bad but my therapist said to only allow my self to pick between 2 different things and once I decide which one I have to force myself to accept it. Changing my mind is no longer an option after that. He said to ask myself "What is the worst possible outcome if I make the wrong decision"

He said to ask myself "What is the worst possible outcome if I make the wrong decision"
Aha! now that is some good advice...don't sweat the small stuff right. Hmmm now to apply that in my real life :p

I have the same problem. I drive my husband crazy. It takes me hours to find something to wear. For example....I put two different shoes on at a time and then ask my husband which shoe and when he picks I want to know why he didn't choose the other one. I use to be really bad but my therapist said to only allow my self to pick between 2 different things and once I decide which one I have to force myself to accept it. Changing my mind is no longer an option after that. He said to ask myself "What is the worst possible outcome if I make the wrong decision"
I used to sit there looking at my clothes and think, "millions of people get dressed everyday and look ok, you're a bright girl, you can do it too." Finding out about ADD was such a relief....!

I had to pare down my wardrobe and start thinking of my clothing as specific sets when I purchase. Otherwise I was constantly late. Shoes still get me sometimes. And I only have 3 ways to fix my hair... no experimenting if I have to be somewhere, because that gets me in trouble every time.

And like you say... what's the worst thing? Well, besides looking like you got dressed in the dark:rolleyes: ? Most of the decisions that get me are small stuff, and my husband's good at putting into perspective.

The one that's getting me right now is where to go for diagnosis... I've changed appointments twice and am thinking about changing again.... I guess therapists who work with ADD must be used to it!:eyebrow: Just seems the initial diagnosis is so important, and there aren't a lot of clues out there to who's good and who isn't. My ADD won't be textbook obvious to an inexperienced doctor.

The one that's getting me right now is where to go for diagnosis... I've changed appointments twice and am thinking about changing again.... I guess therapists who work with ADD must be used to it!:eyebrow: Just seems the initial diagnosis is so important, and there aren't a lot of clues out there to who's good and who isn't. My ADD won't be textbook obvious to an inexperienced doctor.
I am worried about the same thing! I got a referal from my GP for a phycotherapist. But I have an appoitment Friday and that is all I can think about.
Like you, my ADD wont be textbook obvious either. I am taking the Amen test that I took, with my 85% score, so at least we will be able to go over it and discuss it but I am really nervous. I am always worried, they won't get me...why should they no ever really did.:eyebrow:

I suck at keeping appointments. The other day I was sitting in the waiting room at my therapists office and he comes out and says "What are you doing here? Your appointment is not until tomorrow". I didn't believe him. He had to show me his appt book. I wrote down the wrong date I guess. Another time I had a baby shower on sunday and a birthday party Saturday of the same weekend and I confused the dates and I show up at a Country Club with a baby shower gift looking for the party. The manager even started helping me look around and then he finally said lets go check the book and then I found out that the shower was the next day!! I was supposed to be at the birthday party not the shower! I felt so dumb!