Any and ALL comments welcome, and appreciated.

Since this ADD thing has become part of my life, I have been trying to pay attention to things I do or say that are ADD behaviours.

Of course, this makes me think(and bf has said this too) that because of eveything you have read about ADD, you are subconsciously acting out these behaviours in an attempt to understand what/why you are the way you are.

I mean this is plausible.. and I really dont want to believe this.. expecially when I think back to my child hood, and growing up things i would or have done that can be considered ADD....but then I second guess myself and think, no EVERYONE does that, its NORMAL.

Anyways, what was I saying..

Alright, so I noticed that (well before this) that I have a details problem, I dont pay attention to details all that well. Then recently I discovered that I have a HUGE problem with finishing things I start, books, video games, hobbies, etc, etc.

Then just yesterday I realized that I cant finish projects either. There may be like the smallest parts left to FINISH it, and I just cant seem to summon the energy or motivation to complete it. I know I will feel good once its done, but, the getting it done is so hard.

Because of this, I am handing in my assignment LATE, again.... and I still have to finish these small things... ugh I just dont want to.

How can I get past this hurdle?

How many times do you guys wonder (or been told) you are making it up, or subconsciouly doing it to yourself ? (ADD behaviours)

How can you tell what is true or false?

Thanks

Then just yesterday I realized that I cant finish projects either. There may be like the smallest parts left to FINISH it, and I just cant seem to summon the energy or motivation to complete it. I know I will feel good once its done, but, the getting it done is so hard.

This comment will be of absolutely no help, but I find it interesting that you feel this way. I have had this mindset my whole life -- I rebel at finishing any project -- largely because I'm always unsure at point to draw the line and announce, "Finished!"

I find myself thinking "Well, I've cleaned the bathroom so maybe I should clean the bedroom. But if I'm going to clean the bedroom I may as well clean the kitchen and then I should take notes on that book from the library but to find that I'll have to go downstairs and then I really should rewrite my comments and" and at that point, I stop cleaning the bathroom because I can see no end in sight and I simply can't stand the immense list of things that really ought to be done. Why start when you can never finish? Why finish one thing when that means you'll just have to do something else.

The only relevant comment I can make is that I've had this problem and I was only dxed 3 years ago.

hey thanks for your reply.

I havent been diagnosed ADD yet, like I havent taken any assessments or anything, it has just been my and my psychiatrist that suspect that I have it, and its only really been about 3 months for me.

So this is all kinda new to me.

Its hard to put that line between what is normal, what is just normal insecurities, and what is disorder behaviours.

I have trouble determing if its "all in my head" or not.

Plus I dont really know any real ADD'ers besides these forums.. so I can compare myself.

where am I going with all this? hmm....

Im not sure if it is like I dont see any end in sight, maybe more like I have so much trouble just getting what I do get done, done. And then if I stop without finishing.. it is even harder to get back to it, because I have already forced myself to do that much, and it seems like I hit a limit to how much I can make myself do that work.

make sense?

The thing is, I'd always known that I had difficulty with these things, just that it had always been referred to as just being general learning disabilities. All of the usual skills tutoring had just not worked, and unfortunately a lot of people just assumed that I was lazy, so it was a relief to finally have a diagnosis.

I don't think that I've ever stopped and wondered whether it was real or not. Maybe there were one or two times when I'd been on meds long enough and there might be a stretch of time where I wouldn't have any serious difficulties where I might question it, but I think the vast disparity between my IQ scores and grades, combined with the exceptionally messy state of my living quarters was enough that it wasn't really something that I second-guessed. The immense difference in organizational abilities between on-meds and off-meds was also a major factor in convincing me (and everyone around me) that this was the right diagnosis.

I even remember when I first started taking meds, I wound up finally being able to organize my room, really understanding things like the order of cleaning, y'know, pick up the trash, then put the laundry in the hamper, then put the books on the shelf, separating the textbooks from the novels, etc. So later on I invite some friends over to have a few beers, and I'll always remember the look on W's face when he walking into my apartment and saw that it was clean, his jaw practically hit the floor, and all he said was "I'm not a doctor or anything, but I really think that you should keep taking this medication."