Are any of you depressed or not social and have noticed people you know from school or work avoid you when they see you in the street?

ALOT of people I know avoids me. When they see me on the street, they walk somewhere, pretend they didn't see me, or even cover up their face! I feel useless. No one likes me. I hate my life

Welcome to the forums. . .

When I feel bad about myself I tend to take every thing negatively and personally. This much depression as expressed in your first post should probably be brought to the attention of a health care professional.


It isn't you the person people avoid but the depression. . .people that are depressed project a certain body language that some times makes them seem unapproachable. Many reading this post may feel at a loss for some thing to say so they don’t respond. This has nothing to do with your core being or even your personality but it has to do with the depressive tone.

This sort of thinking for any length of time is not healthy for you, please seek professional help if you have felt this way for ten consecutive days or longer. . . I bet the person hiding under this dark cloud can be good company and a great friend.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist for a couple of years and it doesn't help me at all. You're right. People do say I'm not a happy person and I don't smile much.

Are any of you depressed or not social and have noticed people you know from school or work avoid you when they see you in the street?

ALOT of people I know avoids me. When they see me on the street, they walk somewhere, pretend they didn't see me, or even cover up their face! I feel useless. No one likes me. I hate my lifeloner,

I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I feel like two (or more) different people: 1) insecure, ugly, unloved; but sometimes intelligent, liked, social. It all depended on my mood.


One thing I discovered since taking Adderall was that many of my negative social feelings (i.e. I hate my job, people suck, I suck, people are staring at me, people don't like/avoid me) disappeared on the medicine.

I realized that the things/people/places that I disliked and wanted to run away from were really nothing but my mental anxiety that needed a focus and a name.

I don't know your history, loner, but since you're posting on an ADD forum you're looking either looking for answers or have been diagnosised with ADD. What you are describing could be anxiety which your brain is labelling "bad loner," "nobody loves loner," etc.

If after two years you've gotten no real help from your psychiatrist, I'd find a new one.

You're obviously depressed, but some of it sounds like social anxiety which can cause depression; or ADD.

meadd's right -- talk to your doctor (find a new doctor) and talk about ADD and/or anxiety as the cause.

Medication might help more than therapy for depression/anxiety. It did for me.

Has your psychiatrist ever suggested it?

If you feel like your work with your psychiatrist isn't helping you, it may be an indication that he or she simply isn't the right person for you in a therapeutic relationship. It might help to seek out a different person. As far as people apparently avoiding you, people sometimes choose to do so because of their own insecurities. I'm glad you were able to find these forums however, there are a lot of great people here, in a wonderfully supportive and positive environment.



I have been seeing a psychiatrist for a couple of years and it doesn't help me at all. You're right. People do say I'm not a happy person and I don't smile much.

Medication might help more than therapy for depression/anxiety. It did for me.

Has your psychiatrist ever suggested it?
I have tried all kinds of medicines.

Sounds like its time to find another psychiatrist. I know it is frustrating when you are not getting the help/support you need, but don't lose heart. You can find it.

I'd really suggest interpersonal therapy or group therapy for this situation. It would help a lot for social and interpersonal skills.

I've done interpersonal therapy myself, and it is very useful. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_therapy

Group therapy is very good, too, for skill building. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_therapy

A lot of a person's common behaviour and rel'p patterns are re-enacted in group therapy, so that things can be noticed and addressed.

Alternately, ask your doctor/therapist to be honest with you about why s/he thinks this is happening.

Have you heard of the JOHARI WINDOW? (t is a model of interpersonal awareness and blindspots.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window

I find that psychiatrist visits do not help with skill-building, really. They are more into identifying true mental illness, not social skills training issues.

I hear you having "distress" (normal for ADHD and anxiety), but that in itself is not necessarily "mental illness". :)

Dear loner,
If you've tried meds without success, then getting a new pdoc would be a good next step. As QueensU Girl suggests, group therapy might be an idea. Then you'd get some direct feedback about others' responses.

Not only would the group thing be a way of people like yourself who struggle with social issues help you with the things you are having problems with but it will give you the chance of helping them.

Some times it isn't the help we are given that is the therapeutic part but as a strange side effect when we help others often we begin to see our selves in a new light. Not only will you be able to get honest feed back from them about yourself, you will be able to offer objective observations to them about their issues. This also helps . . . .

Two years is a long time for treatment to have no effect especially if the medications are being taken as prescribed.

Loner, I used to be a VERY, VERY big jerk. I would fight at the drop of a hat. I was a very miserable, very rude and very mean person. I was the stereotypical bully you see on T.V. I had an extremely tough life at home and tried to soothe my emotional sores by projecting my hate, confusion and insecurities on other people.

So, as you can guess, people definitely avoided me. Despite my hard as nails emotional shroud, I wanted to be liked. I was just not raised properly. I wasn't raised like other people, so I behaved completely different from everyone else, unintentionally making my self a pariah.

As time went on, my desire to be a better person slowly made me a more approachable, pleasant person to be around. People now admire my quirky, random and unpredictable personality. I still have VERY many personality hang-ups and, at times, still have my "bull in a China shop mentality," but I am very much a work in progress. I like myself a little more every year of my life.

The reason for my rant is that you are asking the right questions. You realize there is a problem and want something different. This alone, in my estimation, makes you a very good person. You're just probably rough around the edges, as was I.

So, my advice to you is this: Focus on positives and not negatives. If your in a situation and are getting flustered, try to remove yourself from the stress and objectively try to find something positive to focus on. Be the "glass is half full" kind of person.

Be yourself, even if you get mocked a bit. This helped me immensely. It's easier to be genuine being yourself than trying to behave to your idea of what the norm is.

Lastly, you probably need a little taste of success. Once you start being more positive and see people respect you more it makes being pleasant a lot easier.

These may sound cliche or overly simple, but over time you can reprogram yourself to be a much more lighthearted and enjoyable person.

I think you may possibly be apathetic in life now (as I was) and that could possibly supersede medicines effectiveness. It is kind of like mind over medicine.

I NEVER divulge personal info. on message boards, but reading your post reminded me of myself so much.

I really wish you the best and continue seeking help from every avenue possible and you will, most definitely, baby-step your way to a brighter future.

I hope I don't sound preachy.

Have a very safe, very happy Holiday season.
--Morbid

Loner, many people just don't understand depression. I think a lot of people believe you can *just snap out of it* .
It may just be their way of dealing with it themselves, and not a personal reflection on you at all..the *sweep it under the carpet thing* so they don't feel bad themselves when they see you, and they don't know what to say or how to act

hugs, and I hope you feel better soon