Ive heard that a lot of a.d.d people have a very strong understanding of a lot of people. like they have a wire to tap into peoples emotions. Thats what i read in driven to distraction. And i think with me its really true. Im a VERY strong believer of my morals, whats good and right in this world. Often gave money straight to the poor instead of charities. And at one time i wanted to join peace core. Im also big into animal rights.

Anyone else, like this? To where they understand peoples situations more than people without add can? To where they almost feel what the other person is feeling?

i think a.d.d people would make the BEST actors and actress. tap into roles easier.

I'm like that sometimes. But at the same time, I'm just as likely to totally miss all of the subtle bits and get it all wrong. It's a big source of trouble for me.

ME :D

I believe I have this trait as well. However, over the years, I have had to learn to temper my reactions to people and their emotions until I learn more. Like I do in every aspect of my life, I tend to overreact. Also I sometimes read more into people than is really there.

Like all of the "positives" that come with our particular neural makeup, this sensitivity or insight isn't truly a good thing in our lives until we learn to harness it. To risk sounding like a comic book: We must learn to use our powers for good. This goes for all the extraordinary things we may be able to do: hyperfocus, our energy and enthusiasm, multitasking abiliy, creativity, and elevated intelligence (which is useless without motivation and work ethic).

Make sense? Or am I out of my mind? (more than I usually am?)

HI ColorScheming

I am extremely empathetic, almost too much so. I am usually able to sense how others are feeling, especially if they are down.
But on the other hand there are times I totally misread everything and make a big deal out of something that wasnt there and then I react to how I saw things but not how they really were and thats usually a recipe for disaster.

I can usually tell right when I meet someone what kind of person they are, I am rarely wrong. It may take some time for the true colors to come out, but in the end I was probably right.

As far as animals, omg I am so crazy for animals I honestly truly feel I must have been a cat in prior life (hehe) because I become attached to an animal in like 2 seconds, like if I see an animal on the street I become sort of sad inside when I walk away from it like we were bonded. I bought a chinchilla 2 yrs ago, my son and I, and we brought it home, right away my husband made me bring it back (I went oout for hamster, got carried away at pet store) and I cried alot, and it was so uncalled for that the pet store employee actually mentioned the fact that I only had the chinchilla for like 1 hour so how could I be so upset. Weird

I dont know if its an ADHD thing or just a personality trait that you have and also happen to have ADHD. Many people are empathic and kind and thoughful, etc, that arent adhd and vice versa maybe?

What is the saying, wearing your heart on your sleeve? Is that what fits here?

-A

Yes, i also tend to misread things. But i also kind of USUALLY have a feeling when someone is Screwing me over. Which sometimes ignorance is bliss. I wish i didnt have to find out that i was right. And then there are on occasions when i really truly was blind to the most obvious of things like you said.

welcome to ADD
:-)

OOOpsy and did I mention ...?...

~yes~

Religion and Race cries

judgments are made
more by proxy
hearts start to fade
blood losing its vitality
- de-sired
- destroyed

- desperation
our society decays
or am I ascending?
with each passing day
or am I flying?

minds are closed
or mine opening wider?
truth left unexposed
or truth be told?

there are few who truly care
more by the day
but unfortunately they are rare
for now

... already though
now's
no
longer

no more

less

For the sake me being argumentative :D
One can be empathic and act on this 'information' however they wish. I really don't want to come across as too bitter, as I'm in no way trying to snark at you or anything.

Linking empathy with morals and a drive to act on 'injustices' doesn't sit very well with me. I find it comes to me quite naturally, to suss out and understand another person's nature roughly in just a small amount of contact. If I care to take more effort and time, whether disagreeing or not with their actions I can come to understand why they may act or react in a certain manner. This isn't a perfect method, sometime I completely miscalculate someone.

On that note, I'd hardly say I have a strong set of morals or sense of justice(at least the kind that are socially accepted as such). I admit I'm a selfish person, I could just as easily manipulate with knowledge and I can just as easily not care. (I'd also like to see opinions of other people, who don't have ADD and how well they rate their empathy)

Damn, I sound like a prick. But point, a) in my opinion, empathy has little to nothing to do with sense of justice or morals b) "Justice", "Morals", "Right and Wrong" vary hugely between indviduals, cultures, countries etc.

Sorry, I've probably come off as really horrible, or trying to dig at you or something nasty like that. Not my intention.

*stirring up conversation, yo*

For sure! See my post ..seeing people for who they are fast.

I find my intuition to be very intune, although sometimes I have been wrong, its human nature, but most times my gut is right. I am a very empathetic person. I care deeply for others, and their trouble become mine. I can almost feel their pain. I take part of the hurt on myself. hmm almost like Froto & Sam "lord of the rings". I am a very kind person, but when people take advantage, I clam up. The jaws of life would have a hard time getting me to open up again. I guess that is why I have such high intution, for letting people into "me" so-to-speak.

I am also an animal lover, and have a soft spot for elderly people. They are so wise and I love listening to their stories of days-of-old :)

... in my opinion, empathy has little to nothing to do with sense of justice or morals ... I'm really fond of the idea of the mind as a logical structure.
~[kinda' like a computer operating system]~

Have quite a liking for morality being a consequence of logic - perhaps even the word for logic when looking through the eyes of man
~[look no further than Spock - the very embodiment of logic and morality]~

Am taken by the idea that communication fails unless we share a similar logical structure - each of us different instantiations of the same structure - a simplification of RRReality
~[information conveyed in conversation >>> information content of the words used in conversation]~

Am rather one for the notion that empathy represents a form of super-communication in which the empath reads in even more than the
"information conveyed in conversation"
from above
which is alread ">>> information content of the words used in conversation"
?perhaps? making it ...
>>>>>> information content of the words used in conversation
in the empath {ADDer} ...
~[exploring empathy as the ability to pick up on aspects of the other individual - needless to say - not contained within the linear semantics of his or her speech]~

Would like to offer my held opinion that the reason for >>> in "[information conveyed in conversation >>> information content of the words used in conversation]" is exactly the same as the basis for our logical structure of mind (aka morality)
~[or that the roots of morality and empathy are the same - two aspects of ourselves which arise by virtue of a single and common root to these two high level human experiential functions]~

:-)

dunno' really

:-)

I've always had a pretty high degree of empathy, and while it is certainly a benefit at times -- I've never had a girlfriend complain that I was a poor listener, or never thought about her feelings, or had poor communications skills -- it can be a problem as well. A good example is in my relationship with my wife, I tend to have very fuzzy personal boundaries in terms of where I begin and end and where "we" and "she" exist. I find it almost impossible to be happy (or even content) if she is upset, stressed out, or otherwise in a negative emotional state. I tend to take on much of her emotional state... I feel like I can only be happy if she's happy, and if she's sad then I'm sad too.

"Fuzzy personal boundaries" was her term for how I am affected by her emotional states. She gets worried about me when I'm upset and she is definitely to see me being happy, but her concept of self doesn't seem to bleed over the way it does for me.

Of course, that's the case in most aspects of my life. There's no such thing as "personal life" and "work life" for me. If I'm upset or preoccupied with something in my personal life, it severely interferes with work; I can't just focus on work to forget about personal issues the way some people can. Likewise, if I'm extremely unhappy about my daily experience at work, then it's almost impossible for me to be happy in my personal life as well.

a) in my opinion, empathy has little to nothing to do with sense of justice or morals b) "Justice", "Morals", "Right and Wrong" vary hugely between indviduals, cultures, countries etc.



Besides appreciating the original poster for bringing up the topic, "A-B" - I appreciate your comments about the subject very much, and I do believe that I understand what you're getting at, and I do agree with you.

I also am very helped by Keldryn's sharing his "fuzzy boundaries" experiences. I relate to that very much with my relationship with my sig. other. But I think that HE (my significant other) has an even WORSE time with "fuzzy boundaries." I always have to tell him, "Please don't YOU be upset, this is MY problem."

Sue

HI ColorScheming

I am extremely empathetic, almost too much so. I am usually able to sense how others are feeling, especially if they are down.
But on the other hand there are times I totally misread everything and make a big deal out of something that wasnt there and then I react to how I saw things but not how they really were and thats usually a recipe for disaster.

I can usually tell right when I meet someone what kind of person they are, I am rarely wrong. It may take some time for the true colors to come out, but in the end I was probably right.

-A
Very similar to me.
You ever notice how people even strangers seem to start telling you about their problems and personal issues?
Happens to me all the time...

Damn, I sound like a prick.

Not wanting to be argumentative but I disagree, you do not sound like a prick. You do not agree with a particular point of view but presented your perspective respectfully.

You get enough people in one place there will be diversity which to me is like a way cool thing. With diversity comes difference in opinions. . . I can handle that!
If we were all exactly alike man would that be a really big drag; if each of us had the exact same perspective on every topic what would we have to post about, there would be little to discuss.

With that being said. . . . .

Linking empathy with morals and a drive to act on 'injustices' doesn't sit very well with me.

If I stand up will it help? - okay so I double as a smart a**, you look like some one who can handle a few off the cuff remarks. . . .I shall be expecting a few in return. . . .no one has to be empathic to know what I am thinking I say what is on my mind straight out. . . .

I also have some internal impressions which come from ????? who know really. . .my brain has a mind of it's own. . . some times this mind knows things without me really knowing how I know them. . . . it happens with people yes I often know things about them but for me it is usually more like a feeling. To some I am drawn to even those few get along with I can normally like modulate my projection with out really changing the me inside. . . .others people create and aversion or repellent feeling, as if they are toxic to me. . . not necessarily bad people just bad for me. Others are neither good or bad they simple are. . . . .

I have done things out of the blue like looking on someone else's cell phone to see who has called even though this is some thing I would normally never do. . . .in 1.5 years prior I had never invaded this person privacy in the 1.5 years sense I have never had the notion to repeat the same action. . . I pick one number out of twenty-five other unknowns. . . . . . . did the same with computer cookie short time prior. . . . these notions were on target and on time. . .and not things I normally do I am not a suspicious person nor am I possessive one. . . my timing and accuracy was seen as some pretty scary stuff to one who fails to understand. . . these things just happen!

So I know things as well,not just about people but about other stuff also. Some times the knowledge is factual other times it is actions taken that I wasn't present for but I know they occurred. I have communicated with those who are unable to converse, they are in a vegatitive state, it is a knowing that I know.

Being empathic and have a strong sense of morals is linked together in my world as well. If I can feel another's pain and I cause them pain then I have caused myself pain as well. Yes this knowledge can be used to ones advantage and a very efficient and effective weapon how ever weapons are not needed unless one is engaged in a battle. . . by the time I am pushed to this point of battle what happens or what is said is 99.9% of the time well deserved. I do not go out of my way to harm others I will try to avoid conflict that is harmful if at all possible. However I will not run and hide, I refuse to be afraid.

I do tend to speak up for what I believe to be right. Being unable to remain silent when some one is being treated unfairly or if favoritism is being practiced is also a spark that ignites my sense of injustice. I do tend to be as direct and to the point when dealing with injustice as I am any other time. . . .

I do not claim this as truth for every one not even every one with ADD but I have found among my fellow ADDers others who travel in the same world I do. . . and I feel a specific deep connection to them and they to me. There are others who are also ADD that disagree or do not understand I accept them as they are for their world is as right to them as mine is to me. . .

If one shares a similar mental makeup to another - one will read the same sorts of things into situations as the other.
If one is empathic - one will perhaps be able to pick up on the feelings of others in a given situation - beause one might feel similarly.
To feel similarly - one must share a similar set of values - for instance if your friend's dog is sick - and you do not like dogs - there will not be a connection between you and your friend on this example level.
- one ?must? share a similar set of values -
Morals are values.

I'm just wondering though whether it is the individual who feels similarly - or the individual's own projection of their friend's reaction to a stimulus which results in empathy?

What does that mean?

Do we feel sad if the friend's dog is sick?
~or~
Do we associate?
friend = dog lover
and
dog = sick
with
friend =<= sad.


They're different.

In the first case one is assuming that one's friend would react the same way as you would - which tends towards truth as values for the two individuals converge

... in the second - one has a representation of the other person - and embues meaning onto some gesture based on the individual's knowledge of their friend.

Is it possible to empathise ~deeply~? if you absolutely would *NOT* feel the feelings of the other - the guy you're empathising with - in that esact same situation - with sole difference - that the situation has you as subject.

...other alternatives though?

if I was asked to give a short description of how empathy feels - it'd kinda' be like an apparent
'telepathic transfer of emotions'

I wonder whether that idea has mileage.

Listen to the description 'I could feel his rage' 'His fear was tangible' 'You could cut his mood with a knife'...
... imagine if emotions had form - were like waves - could be felt like we feel the waves of light from the sun - could travel over and enforce their form upon the emotional waveform of the observer [the observer's emotional state] ... ... ...

feel calm when you're around calm people?
or aroused when around the aroused?

... certainly - I can feel others' emotions.
For me - I feel the emotion regardless of context - whether or not I know context.

Now - tendency towards this kind of receptive state surely would assist empathy - would allow one to actually feel the feelings.

However I couldn't call this form of transference empathy - maybe semantics - but I think that empathy has some component of both feeling and understanding (previous post) - where the understanding validates the feeling as appropriate ... and doesn't trivialize the problem.

I guess I'm saying 'hearts and minds' in unison make for the deepest empathic response.

I don't feel like reading this whole topic, but Robin Williams is one of my favorite actors and commedians because he uses his ADHD to his advantage in a lot of his routines. He's really animated and spontaneous.

imagine if emotions had form - were like waves - could be felt like we feel the waves of light from the sun - could travel over and enforce their form upon the emotional waveform of the observer [the observer's emotional state] ... ...

The above for me . . . it took me a good while to learn how to perceive another’s emotions without adopting them as my own.



However I couldn't call this form of transference empathy - maybe semantics - but I think that empathy has some component of both feeling and understanding (previous post) - where the understanding validates the feeling as appropriate ... and doesn't trivialize the problem.

The feeling usually leads to the understanding although I can pick up on other people’s feelings and not understand why they are experiencing a particular emotion, I simply know it exist. I can understand why some one is having and emotion and even perceive it without necessarily feeling the same way myself. . . yet I can still perceive their emotions . . . this used to create conflict within me thus I had to learn perceived emotions do not have to be adopted they can be run on another track separate from my own emotions.


Extremely negative emotions with malicious intent are the most difficult for me to not react to. Normally when some one is extremely negative it takes conscious effort to keep myself from being sucked into their negative patterns. Malicious people are the most difficult for me to be around I either want to avoid them completely or shatter them via exposure. . my reaction to maliciousness is almost instinctive and the hardest of all for me to deal with. by remaining separate from.

Giving individuals who are open and free of ulterior motives draw me like a magnet. . .




I guess I'm saying 'hearts and minds' in unison make for the deepest empathic response.

Agree 1000%. . .

Oddly enough the song now playing is Alan Parson’s Project “Eye in the Sky” (http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/alan+parsons+project/eye+in+the+sky_20005307.html ) a rather interesting timing. . . .

I don't feel like reading this whole topic

Many people with ADD cannot read the entire thread before posting however it is customary to read at least the initial (or the first post) so that replies offered are at least remotely connected to the topic being discussed.

Posting randomly is not appropriate. We all have ADD and mishaps do happen or topic connections deviate from the norm; which is why most of the moderating staff also have ADD, thus increasing our chances of being able to detect the connection. . .

Some times people will have multiple browsers open and accidentally post a reply to one thread when they intended to place it on another thread. I have done this myself and it was embarrassing. Should this happen feel free to private message one of the moderators of that area and ask to have the mis-placed post moved to the appropriate thread. When making a post move request please do indicate where the accidental post is and where it was meant to go.

According to the initial post the topic of this discussion is =



Ive heard that a lot of a.d.d people have a very strong understanding of a lot of people. like they have a wire to tap into peoples emotions. Thats what i read in driven to distraction. And i think with me its really true. Im a VERY strong believer of my morals, whats good and right in this world. Often gave money straight to the poor instead of charities. And at one time i wanted to join peace core. Im also big into animal rights.

Anyone else, like this? To where they understand peoples situations more than people without add can? To where they almost feel what the other person is feeling?

If this is not a topic of interest please feel free to begin a new thread.

***Any concerns or questions regarding this moderator note or staff actions should be private messaged directly to staff, this will prevent further disruption of the discussion. Thank you.***