View Full Version : What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?


Tara
03-16-03, 05:25 PM
<table border="0" width="475" align="Center"><tbody><tr> <td width=27%><font color="#440066" face="comic sans ms"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1886941343/" target="_blank"><img src="http://livingwithadd.com/everybody.jpg" border="0" alt="What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don'T?: Social Skills Help for Adults With Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (Ad/Hd) a Reader-Friendly Guide by Michele Novotni, Randy Petersen (Contributor), Richard Dimatteo (Illustrator) "> </a> </font></td> <td><font face="comic sans ms" size="3" color="#440066"> This book offers great suggestions for social problems asssociated with being an ADDult. It addresses some very basic social skills and some more complex ones too. <B>(2000)</B></font></td> </tr>
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Wheel1975
11-03-03, 08:22 PM
It seems to me that she is guilty of "begging the question."

The original sense is of a logical fallacy, of taking for granted or assuming the thing that you are setting out to prove.

By page nine she says "Take care of your personal responsibilities." Well now, that would be quite profound, IF IT WEREN'T THE PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Where do these authors get off beeging the question as if that were a useful or helpful thing to do?

Then on page 12, "Often in the rush to get ready for wok, you may not leave enough time for personal hygiene matters such as brushing teeth or showering. ... So make time to press our clothes, yada yada yada.

Who can "make time" after it is too late? The "loss" of sufficent time is only rarely from not having "left" enough. It is usually from having too much, and filling it too well with other things, or any combination of scores of other lead ins equally poorly served by "making time" after it is too late!

At the end of the book, addressed to others, but really! Never say "I told you so. You should have done it my way. Etc." What happened to REALITY?

Wheel1975
11-03-03, 10:15 PM
Let's look at page 43.

...
but if you care about someone, you want to send the message, "What you say is important to me." YOU WANT TO FOCUS YOUR FULL ATTENTION ON THEM.

[ed. Says WHO?!]

Many people with AD/HD find it incredidibly difficult to focus on only one thing at a time. Many find it painfully slow and boring to just sit and listen to someone talk while ideas and sounds are dancing in their heads.


PPLLLEEEEEEASE! What is "reciprical" about this? What PAIN do they endure? What is fair in this construct?

NOTHING.

jimmmaaa
11-04-03, 12:10 AM
So David, tell me what you REALLY think about this book :)

Wheel1975
11-04-03, 08:38 AM
It is great. But that doesn't excuse these flights of fantasy!

ferrette1976
11-04-03, 10:39 AM
I agree. I own this book, but only paged through it a few times due to my reading problem (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1914). But from what I've read, I feel like I am being talked down to. Like I didn't think of these things before! :rolleyes:

waywardclam
11-04-03, 11:58 AM
Hmm, that decides me NOT to buy it. I was going to, but I have changed my mind.

Wheel1975
11-04-03, 12:43 PM
I'm only on page 43.

But really, "Answers to distraction" had NO ANSWERS, in my view, just recapitulation of the questions. Maybe "validation." Neither of those qualify as "answers" in my judgement.

Do they send their books past "hot heads" like us before they publish? I consider myself "no BS" on the subject. Am I wrong?

Wheel1975
11-04-03, 12:51 PM
Besides, begging the question is probably only vauguely conceptual ortholganal.

She ended by saying that it was essential to do what was a problem by not having done it.

Or that doing what had not been done would prevent future occurances of the problems that result from not having done it.

What advantage does that offer?
What makes it possible AFTER being told that that is different from before hand? I see no difference!

In 12 Step programs the definition of insanity is "doing the same things and expecting different results!"

Does she really think that it is NEWS that we have to:

"Take care of your personal responsibilities."

That may be a wonderful conclusion, but wasn't the identified problem: failing to take care of one's personal responsibilities?

So where does that get us?

tau·tol·o·gy (tô-t?l??-j?)*Pronunciation Key
n. pl. tau·tol·o·gies

1.
a. Needless repetition of the same sense in different words; redundancy.
b. An instance of such repetition.
2. Logic. An empty or vacuous statement composed of simpler statements in a fashion that makes it logically true whether the simpler statements are factually true or false; for example, the statement Either it will rain tomorrow or it will not rain tomorrow.

There are pages in the book I do not disdain. Check it out from the library. If you see stuff you want to remember, buy the book and book mark it!

I just don't understand why these authors think this is NEWS?

Wheel1975
11-04-03, 01:29 PM
Originally posted by ferrette1976
I agree. I own this book, but only paged through it a few times due to my reading problem (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1914). But from what I've read, I feel like I am being talked down to. Like I didn't think of these things before! : rolleyes :

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Sometimes strange puntuation i put in, like < grin > doesn't work because some part of the system is trying to interpret it instead of printing the characters! I discovered the "eyes roll" when I qouted it!

: )

Wheel1975
11-04-03, 01:31 PM
It is very well laid out. It is keyed with stroies and text identifiable, so i can skip what i want. (though some text makes reference to the stories... a little glitch in the separation scheme!)

It just needs some content and presentation reality checking. IMHO

jimmmaaa
11-04-03, 03:32 PM
All I have heard really makes me want to buy that book!

Uh, not really. :)

Wheel1975
11-04-03, 04:01 PM
Well, then people who liked what they read and want to share need to pony up.

I think she does a better than average job of circling what the problem is, if you are willing to give her a little stretch room for not being ADHD herself.

MMx2
03-04-04, 04:56 AM
I had to respond... i think i may have insight as to why it feels as though this book doesn't seem to give any real answers...ie...depth to problem...

IMHO... believe adhd is an incomplete diagnosis...being said by someone whom has researched the research or lack of.. for over nine years...all which led me to these conclusions...

I am an author too..the adhd autism connection...the answers may surprise you but I am told they make alot of sense when you look at it..i found this site because of the comments someone posted about my book...I am thankful they were a little more encouraging than what is here

I hope it helps to understand why

I welcome comments

Blessings
Diane M. Kennedy

Energizer_Bunny
07-23-04, 04:58 PM
Well I just purchased the book. And have not had a chance to read it yet. May take me a while to get through it, but I will let everyone know what I think. Somone once said that before they buy a CD there has to be at least 3 good songs on the CD. Well, maybe the same can apply for a book...........there has to be at least 3 good things that you get out of a book to make it worth reading........

But I will let everyone know.......

olga
02-18-05, 01:26 PM
I read it cover to cover several times. It is EXTREMLEY helpful particuarly if your ADHD strikes you in the social arena. Mine does. I have no other problems with being places on time, or paying bills on time or organizing. But I'm hyperactive in all aspects. We miss the social cues, and we're not good listeners, among other things and Michele Novotni points this out and explains ways of counteracting this in great detail.

Outtherechica
03-20-05, 12:30 AM
I'm reading this book right now. It has helped me tremendously I feel,because it clearly pointed out things I haven't realized.:) :D :) :cool: ;) She explains things in detail and in an easy to read format. She doesn't use big words that you have to pull out your dictionary to use (at least not very often). I feel I have improved socially from it.



*



I do agree with you on how it is written.

Michele talks down to people with AD/HD as helpless,immature,and cluess:confused: to life. Although she tries to be nice, it's clear she doesn't fully see people with AD/HD as people.:rolleyes: She sees us as a disorder and she is writing
to help the needy and make her feel good. If that's not the case, then she clearly thinks she's better . :eek: Something is wrong .It enrages me. I don't appreciate the tone of it at all. :mad:

lotsofconfusion
03-22-05, 03:20 AM
This is true. I've also read this book and felt that I already knew most of this social behavior stuff. I've never really had any social problems (in adulthood anyway). Then.... I met my boyfriend who makes me feel like I'm missing many social cues! Well, aparently I am but can't figure out what they are! Luckily he is very patient with this!

chinato
03-22-05, 12:13 PM
I recently won this book on an ebay auction. Lots o f mixed resposes on here! Will update you with my opinion asap