Crazy~Feet
11-24-06, 10:52 AM
Method One: Peeling grapefruit may prevent eye pain
Locate the bag of grapefruit which your husband has placed in the garage for safe keeping. (i.e.; He hid it from you.)
Find a dull knife to keep your grapefruit safe.
Begin peeling the grapefruit with the knife over the plate you will be eating the grapefruit from.
Notice (after you have already finished peeling the grapefruit) that the pith (that icky white stuff) is thicker that you first thought it was. Try again.
Yelp with surprise when you get squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice.
Wipe the juice out of your eye.
Chop the grapefruit into pieces.
Grunt as you attempt to cut out the center pith.
Sigh when you realize that most of the grapefruit was cut out with the pith.
Pour the juice that the grapefruit is swimming in off of the plate.
Fish the grapefruit out of the sink.
Wash the grapefruit.
Put the grapefruit onto a plate that isn't sticky.
Eat the grapefruit, resolving to allow your husband to enjoy the rest of the bag all by himself.
Method Two: Not peeling grapefruit guarantees eye pain
Locate the bag of grapefruit which your husband has placed in the garage for safe keeping. (i.e.; He hid it from you.)
Find a dull knife to keep your grapefruit safe.
Cut the grapefruit in half.
Place the grapefruit on a plate.
Cut around the pith and in between the grapefruit pieces with the knife. (This is supposed to prevent future eye pain by making the grapefruit easy to extract with a spoon.)
Yelp with surprise when you get squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice.
Wipe the juice out of your eye.
Get a spoon from the drawer.
Position yourself at the table, the grapefruit in front of you.
Begin spooning the grapefruit out of the peel.
Yelp with surprise when you get squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice.
Wipe the juice out of your eye.
Move the grapefruit onto a different position on the table and try again.
Yelp with surprise when you are squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice.
Wipe the juice out of your eye.
Decide that you prefer drinking grapefruit juice that arrives in a can.
Locate the bag of grapefruit which your husband has placed in the garage for safe keeping. (i.e.; He hid it from you.)
Find a dull knife to keep your grapefruit safe.
Begin peeling the grapefruit with the knife over the plate you will be eating the grapefruit from.
Notice (after you have already finished peeling the grapefruit) that the pith (that icky white stuff) is thicker that you first thought it was. Try again.
Yelp with surprise when you get squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice.
Wipe the juice out of your eye.
Chop the grapefruit into pieces.
Grunt as you attempt to cut out the center pith.
Sigh when you realize that most of the grapefruit was cut out with the pith.
Pour the juice that the grapefruit is swimming in off of the plate.
Fish the grapefruit out of the sink.
Wash the grapefruit.
Put the grapefruit onto a plate that isn't sticky.
Eat the grapefruit, resolving to allow your husband to enjoy the rest of the bag all by himself.
Method Two: Not peeling grapefruit guarantees eye pain
Locate the bag of grapefruit which your husband has placed in the garage for safe keeping. (i.e.; He hid it from you.)
Find a dull knife to keep your grapefruit safe.
Cut the grapefruit in half.
Place the grapefruit on a plate.
Cut around the pith and in between the grapefruit pieces with the knife. (This is supposed to prevent future eye pain by making the grapefruit easy to extract with a spoon.)
Yelp with surprise when you get squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice.
Wipe the juice out of your eye.
Get a spoon from the drawer.
Position yourself at the table, the grapefruit in front of you.
Begin spooning the grapefruit out of the peel.
Yelp with surprise when you get squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice.
Wipe the juice out of your eye.
Move the grapefruit onto a different position on the table and try again.
Yelp with surprise when you are squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice.
Wipe the juice out of your eye.
Decide that you prefer drinking grapefruit juice that arrives in a can.