Hi,

Well my husband is wanting to try and read about his ADD now and all the books I have read have not been "easy" enough or what he can keep on reading.

I think because he is a self-teaching kind of guy, he would benefit from some books on how to cope with certain aspects of his ADD disabilities. The biggest is how to communicate!!!

Because I have been more interested in learning about what it is and what is does I have not been so interested in how they can help themselves as it would be a waste of time for me!! He would NEVER listen to me.

I know it would be best to get counselling or coaching or go to an adult support group that has guest speakers but right know this is where he is willing to start. Yes this is such a great thing!!!! Finally!!!!!:D

Any suggestions for him???

Thanks
mrs A

The one that jumps out at me is What Does Everybody Else Know that I Don't by Michele Novotni. It's about Social Skills for adults with AD/HD. It has a very ADD-Friendly set up too.

WOW. I'm so happy for you, Mrs. A!

Ummm... does he already know anything about ADD? As in, what it really does to the way you think, specifically?

I'm working on the What Does Everyone Else Know that I Don't and it promises to be quite helpful. Unfortunately, I also think it's condescending. If that's likely to tick him off, I'd reserve that for the second book. It also has kind of a 'workbook' feel.

I'd also reserve it for a second book if he's not already familiar with how specific ADD traits are manifest in him. It's one thing to acknowledge that ADD affects your life, another to admit specific ways your brain isn't working right. You'd know him best, but I'm wondering if recognizing the specific mechanisms of ADD in other areas of his life first may be easier than in such an intimate area as communication, and therefore less likely to be refused or denied.

If he recognizes problems with organization, being on time or other time management, handling bills, etc., or if creative appeals to him, ADD friendly ways to organize your life is {excellent}. Personally I find it even more ADD-friendly than the above book, and it's a really good way to start recognizing specific ADD challenges in your life; it's non-threatening, incredibly informative, and gives you stuff to use right away, and opens the way to see how the same challenges could affect relationships.

The other one that gets consistently rave reviews is You mean I'm not lazy, stupid, or crazy? It's next on my list.

And under no circumstances get the 10 simple solutions to Adult ADD for him unless he really, really can't read anything longer...it reads like Hints from Heloise and ranges from the superficial to the appalling.:cool:

Mrs. A, I found some stuff in a CHADD magazine that answered some of the questions you've seen me posting about communication... I recognized your husband in one of the vignettes, and myself and my husband in another. Anyhow, I don't want to take your thread astray here, so I'll post later in another section...

Thanks so much for the information on these books. I will have to "review" them first before him though as he could get bored and frustrated and give up on the first one!! He was the one that wants to try to learn how we can communicate more effectively. That seems to be our biggest issue. His defensiveness and inability to focus on what I am saying instead of what he thinks I am saying or how he takes what I am saying.

Its a start and all I can do is help him try to find the ways to learn.
I am interested in the last part about the CHADD magazine thing you were talking about. If you wish to PM me on that or let me know the section of your post that would be great!!!
Thanks
mrs A

My personal favorite is "Delivered from Distraction". With the clear understanding that it's OK to skip around. I found it to be straightforward and educational. No b.s. and light on the "here's how to cope", "fix yourself in 3 easy steps" fluff.

A relationship book that I liked was, "ADD and Romance" by Halverstadt.

My personal favorite is "Delivered from Distraction".

"Answers to Distraction" same authors but written in a way that allows the reader to skip around in the book. . . written the way ADDers tend to read.

Yes thought about Answers from Distraction. I don't know if it has the "things to try when..." because anything that was in the books I have read that was directed specifically to the ADDer I skipped over as I tried giving him some ideas and he just let it go in one ear and out the other. Doesn't like "me" telling "him" what to do (I think thats how he takes it) No matter how I say it. I know he couldn't get through Delivered from Distractions. He needs like a manual or check list. He was a mechanic for many years and can follow the manuals etc or how to books only for specific things.
I was just wondering if there was some kind of book that has suggestions to try for specific types of ADD difficulties. I know now what works for one definitely may not work for another.
Thanks for the suggestions.

Does your husband read anything just to read? Newspaper, fiction, email, back of cereal boxes...

Ok, I take back what I said about 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD. It has the virtue of being short. The section on social skills is probably the best part of it. It has a short paragraph each on 'Let people know when you are switching tracks.' 'Acknowledge when you interrupt.' 'Be aware of your voice modulation.' 'Know when a conversation is ending.' 'Repeat back what someone has said.' (to make sure you got it right.) 'Use the hula hoop test.' (for conversation distance.) It's pretty simplistic, doesn't get into the holes ADD creates in information flow like What Does Everyone Else Know That I Don't?

You said you have a son with ADD, right? It occurs to me you might do better looking for books appropriate to teenagers, might be easier for your husband to get through. It's just part of ADD to get impatient with wordiness sometimes.