I hope this belongs in the right forum, I do apologize if it does not.


My entire life I pretty much knew that something was different about me. I was always very smart, and could not apply myself. My entire life, I was written off as a "slacker". Not so much by my friends, they knew that I cared about school and that I was a responsible and good person (they had no idea about my grades though). My parents are another story. They truely are amazing people, and have helped me quite a bit on my road to finally being treated for ADHD (this was only one month ago). However, because being recently diagnosed with ADHD...they still kind of hold the slacker/irrisponsible stigma to me. Whenever I would complain as a younger child about any issues I had, they would pretty much dismiss it as I were crying wolf. My problem is this, I have just recently came home (semester is over at university) for a few weeks to stay with my parents. This is the first time they have seen me on my ritalin and while I am being treated for ADHD.

The past few days have been just grueling for me. My dad and I are at eachothers necks alot, and this is quite unusual. Although, my dad does have a tendency to snap (if anyone has ADHD it is him) and we end up going back and forth quite a bit. I find myself getting annoyed at his pestering and the fact that hes always breathing down my shirt about school/girlfriend/job etc. I mean, I just found out I had ADHD not too long ago, this is all sooooo new for me. My parents do not have the slightest clue as to how the mind of an ADDer really works. My mind goes about 10 miles a minute and the last thing I need, is to be told the same thing about 10 times in a row. I have tried to explain to them that ADD isn't just the lack of attention, it involves everything from impulsitivty, hyperactivity, social situations and my thought process.

Now, all I get are comments about me snapping, being grouchy, less enthusiastic....and of course I get asked "are you okay?" every hour. I personally feel great on ritalin, yeah I have had a few not so good days on it, but overall I actually get things done and I do them well. They are obviously used to seeing the always happy go lucky ADD son that they have always known, but that me is out the window. I no longer hold grudges, and I don't blow up or get mad anymore. Now that I am being treated, I actually want to do well, I strive for challenges and I like responsibility. My temper is so much more even, and I really don't get bothered by anything - except constant pestering.


This post isn't just a rant though. I really need to know if anyone has had this experience, where their relationships changed with people after they began treatment. My parents simply do not understand how my mind works or how I feel inside, and when I tell them they simply credit it to exaggeration. Perhaps there are some good articles that explain the mind of somone with ADHD, and things that aggrivate/provoke them? I really don't know, my parents were always there for me while I was getting diagnosed, but after treatment the support has seemed to have dropped off the map.


I apologize for the long post, it was written in the heat of the moment. Thanks in advance to anyone who reads!

There are some ADHD simulations at this site (there are others on the web as well):
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/misunderstoodminds/attention.html

Also, since you have only been on meds for only one month, you may not yet have the optimal dosing schedule for your needs. Look at the times you have difficulty (or others around you see issues) and discuss them with the doctor. Your parents may be seeing the changes when the meds leave your body, with the return of the symptoms and possibly them being worse for a short time (rebound). It is not unusual for others to see the changes that you do not.

They may also see that you act "normal" some of the times and not others (when the meds are worn off), and do not understand that the effects are only there when the meds are in your system. Others may see effects in you that you will not notice, as well. I see my daughter doing wonderfully in school (no more failure), and the minute she struggles with anything I start to worry. This is silly, everyone struggles sometimes, I am just more sensitive to her issues (even when they are not issues).
HTH

They are obviously used to seeing the always happy go lucky ADD son that they have always known, but that me is out the window. I no longer hold grudges, and I don't blow up or get mad anymore. Now that I am being treated, I actually want to do well, I strive for challenges and I like responsibility. My temper is so much more even, and I really don't get bothered by anything - except constant pestering.
I found myself slightly more irritable when I started methylin (ritalin generic). It's got to be hard for your parents too to see a different person than they know how to relate to. And see that you're growing a different direction, which you would at this stage of life anyway even without ADD entering the picture.

Plus it's easy for family to feel that meds are all, that once you're diagnosed and get meds that's done & taken care of. And you should be all better. Clueless, often not their fault, but still clueless.

Any chance that your dad is ADD? It would help explain the pestering. And if you've had to live with that while you didn't know about the ADD, it would be extra irritating now that you know. At least it would for me.

I've always gotten along with my family but I've found it's a lot better if I stay on meds when I'm home with them. Except some of the nonsense doesn't fly any more, I'm recognizing it now. Any chance that you'd actually do better off meds while you're with them? And only to be considered if that's comfortable and not damaging for you.

If your mind is still racing the dosage may not be high enough.

Thanks for the helpful replies Vickie and charonshanti.

I do believe that I am on the maximum dosage, I take 20mg of Ritalin S.R. up to 3 times a day. I find that it's hit or miss, some days I feel insanely focused and really clear/calm. Other days are foggy and not so good for me, but I do understand that everyone has good days and bad days. I think the one symptom of ADHD that drives me nuts, is my "6th sense". I know that many people with ADHD feel they have this, but I have this ridiculous ability to anticipate conversations and to finish other peoples sentences. With that said, coupled with my dads nagging (it really wouldn't suprise me if he had adhd) I have such a low tolerence for people "babying" me or treating me like a 6 year old. Despite my parents knowing that I have had a high IQ all of my life, they certainly give me no credit and act as if I don't understand the concept of priority. I feel that this prevents me from moving forward, and only adds to my anxiety. I have found though, that since being on Ritalin I have less tolerence for B.S. and for those who patronize me.

I do agree though, the general cause of this is lack of education. As far as most people are concerned, anyone with ADHD is written off as a "slow, lazy problem child". Well, if people only know how much more active our brains were, maybe they would give us a bit of appreciation. Not to forget that many people with ADHD are gifted and brilliant.

Now, I think it's time for me to go take my ritalin. I forgot how difficult it is to write even a simple forum post without being medicated.

This post isn't just a rant though. I really need to know if anyone has had this experience, where their relationships changed with people after they began treatment

Yes this happened to me. My ex-husband had a habit of being controlling which I didn’t notice until my ADD was being treated then it drove me nuts. . . which is why he is now my ex!




My parents simply do not understand how my mind works or how I feel inside, and when I tell them they simply credit it to exaggeration.

Next time they ask if there is any thing wrong maybe mention that when you do try to explain to them what is bothering you they simply dismiss it as exaggeration. . so you fail to understand why they are asking . . .in other words I would want then to quit asking me this question or listen to the answers. . . one or the other. . . I am pretty rational when on medications and things like this catch 22 become obvious and yes serves to irritate me after a while.




I have found though, that since being on Ritalin I have less tolerance for B.S. and for those who patronize me.

Then your dose is more than likely fine(IMHO). . .I will tell you like I once did my daughter who after beginning Ritalin got annoyed because her friends were talking down to her . . . She asked why they were doing this I told her “They have always treated you this way You simply didn’t notice before. The few times you did notice this behavior your brain simply “traveled else where”. . . now your brain does less traveling and things that didn’t really annoy you before will become annoying. . .because these occurrences now stick better so you notice them more than you used to”.

While this decreased tolerance for BS was also my experience after beginning my ADD medications ,when it comes to those who have been supportive during your diagnosis it is a good thing to keep in mind that your treatment is not only an adjustment for you it is also an adjustment for those who love you. Your parents have had less time to adjust to your ADD treatment then you have so give them time . . . it is okay to express some of your frustration as I suggested above with the repeative questioning / dismissing the answer thing but do so lovingly. . . you are lucky to have parents who were supportive and they deserve a little patience. . . they need time to adjust just as you did. I think now that you understand why, tolerance will be a little easier. . .

Hope this helps . . .

You said you believe your dad has ADHD and statistics tend to support the fact that ADD/ADHD have a degree of inheritance. I'm wondering if your parents aren't possibly projecting their feelings about their own ADD/ADHD on you.