My 12-year-old son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 4 years old, depression when he was about 7, and ODD a couple of years ago. Things started when he was around 18 months old. He became increasingly defiant and aggressive toward others. (He even used to bite himself, leaving welts on his arms, when I would leave him in his room so I could take a shower.) He was kicked out of numerous daycares and preschool centers. Once he entered school he was suspended several times per grade level and was constantly having notes sent home about his behavior. We finally began homeschooling him about 2 years ago.

He does not know how to read people, either their body language or their facial expressions. for instance, he will jump right in and start rough-housing with a group of children, even if he has never met them before, without asking (which makes them think he is nuts). He is very hands-on with other kids and does not understand when enough is enough. He gets angry and frustrated easily (sometimes over inane situations). He lies constantly (even about small things), has been caught cheating on his schoolwork, teases his younger sister almost constantly, has started stealing, is becoming more verbally aggressive when angered and seems to have no remorse for his behaviors.

He is currently grounded for 2 weeks for stealing a cell phone (supposedly from a donation box). We have tried numerous rewards/consequences for his behavior, along with time-out, grounding, having his allowance reduced, etc. Some of the problem lies with us not being consistent. I tend to forget that he is being punished and do not remember until after he has been allowed to do something. Or, I reduce the punishment for good behavior, feeling guilty for punishing him in light of his changed behavior.

My MIL suggested I look into support groups to find help from other people who have been there, or are currently there. He is currently seeing a Christian psychologist, but not sure if there is any progress being made. I am at a loss as to how to deal with him.

Any help anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Candice

Dealing with an ADHD child can be difficult.

Two thoughts come to mind;

First, is he currently being treated for his ADHD ?

Secondly, if he is being treated for ADHD and the medication does not seem to work, then perhaps it is time to review his treatment and/or diagnosis.

Also, have you and his doctor considered the possibility of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) Since the current treatment strategy seem to be failing ?

Me :D

He is currently taking 50 mg of Zoloft, 10 mg of Focalin, and a B Complex vitamin daily, along with Claritin, Advair and Singulair for allergies/asthma. We seem to have gone through all of the medications (ritalin, adderal, concerta, etc).

He seems to do okay as far as concentration starting about 30 minutes after he takes his pill in the morning and it lasts about 8 hours. After it wears off and before it kicks in he is bouncing off the walls and getting into everything.

I will check out the PDD. I think someone mentioned this to me years ago, but I guess we never researched it.

Thanks,
Candice

The thing that makes me wonder about PDD is the lack of eye contact and the lack of empathy, along with the inability to read social cues. The fact that meds help the attention , but the behavior does not improve also suggests that something might be going on.


ME :D

He does not have trouble making eye contact, he simply does not know how to read other people. He does not pick up on verbal or non-verbal cues in social situations.

He does off the wall things, like climbing on the craft table to lie down, and swinging the vacuum cord in the air in front of people's faces. (He recently took a hammar and screwdriver outside and attempted to carve his name into the brick on the outside of our house.) He just does not think about his actions and seems unable to control any impulses.

He is highly distracted, and even now at 12 years of age has trouble completing more than one task at a time. If I give him a list of 2-4 things to do (like take a shower, clean up bathroom, make bed and get dressed) he invariably forgets one or more or only halfway finishes several of the tasks. I have tried writing it down for him with step-by-step directions for him to cross off, but it does not seem to make any difference as he puts the paper down somewhere and gets distracted by something else.

He also has a very hard time keeping his hands to himself and is constantly touching other kids (pushing, rough-housing, wrestling, grabbing). I cannot leave him unattended for any length of time for fear of what he will do. He seems to enjoy making other kids squirm and be uncomfortable.

Candice