Greetings my fellow ... i came here for the last light of hope, and i wish i have found the right place to post.

for all these years, I am really really sick, desperate, and hatred of myself due to being an ADD(or maybe more than that, some other psychological problems)...

my problem mainly focus on being a constant and extreme "thrill seeker", my f***ing brain has constantly forcing me to seek everything NEW, nonstoppable, and throwing away everything else(that considered old/known). I felt exhausted fighting with it. well, i did nothing illegal, up to the moment, but this problem has GREATLY caused severe life problems and limiting my potential.

in terms of accomplishment, i'm not that bad. i'm 19 years old, holding a bachelor's degree and currently in a good MBA program. however, instead of focusing on studying hard and socializing with people, i am always in an uncontrollable state wasting tons tons of time on all those stupid things, here's a few examples that I do everyday:
1. DOING every puzzle, and stupid IQ TESTS. (i knew my subconcious mind is just want to prove myself to myself, but it's really endless and wasting time)
2. for lots of hours wandering on the internet, clicking on every funny/stupid/new/wierd/exciting links
3. compulsively goto supermarkets without buying anything and then felt regret, but still repeating that very soon
4. trying all kinds of new games
5. eating tons of food despite of being already very overweight
6. escaping mandatory classes, knowing the severe result yet still doing that compulsively
7. totally unorganized, never wash clothes till they smell so bad ...
.....
even one hour before final exam, without reviewing a single page, i still wanders on internet, or reading some non-studying books, or having fun with friends, and just can't control myself.

Up to this, you might think that i am just a very typical stupid and lazy guy living without goals. but i am really not, i wish i am, so that I wouldn't be so painful. To the opposite, i have set lots of ambitious goals(such as being very successful entrepreneur) for myself, i have made lots of plans to be accomplished and corresponding actions. Everytime, the moment i set these ambitoius goals and make detailed plans, does make me motivated, very motivated. nontheless, it never works for me longer than 3 months, sometime just a few days or a few hours. then I want to seek NEW funs.

I am very certain, that with this kind personality, i will fail in every field, nothing can be achieved. I realized my problem many years before, and never stop to change myself. i listen to Anthony Robbins, practice NLP, and lots of motivation books. but really, they just work for a very short period, then i back to the old thrill seeking mode....

Would anyone here tell me is this all caused by the ADD? or is it some other kind of mental illness? how can i overcome myself??

thank you so much!


a desperate patient

Yes, it could be due to adhd. There are likely to be some other problems too, but only a doctor can say for sure.

see your doctor
Me :D

in terms of accomplishment, i'm not that bad. i'm 19 years old, holding a bachelor's degree and currently in a good MBA program.
:confused: :eek: Wow, I guess you have accomplished a lot in life already. I would see or seek your/a psychiatrist for official diagnosis. Sounds like you may have other things besides ADHD, which is secondary to other primary diagnosis's.

Well I guess when it boils down to the "big picture", things tend to be unclear. You'll notice things that you feel humiliated about being oblivious to especially when the majority of society learns these things at age 4, and you have a 158 IQ. Time management??? Not a clue and even worse no inhibition of anything

hi mspen, thanks for your reply. but i don't get your point at all. what do you mean ?? and what is the age 4 and 158 iq thing you talked about? ididn't mention anything about that in my post.
would you please explain??

claudius,

I've been down the same road of getting motivated and using all my focus and obsessional energy in some single minded goal -- only to have it fade away and be replaced by a new and improved goal or obsession. The vicious circle is maddening.

I'm 42 and finally got medical intervention for my ADHD (& probably anxiety/OCD, too) about 3 months ago. The change has been amazing. I wish I had gotten help twenty years ago.

ADHD can explain your symptoms but a differential diagnosis can assess if it's that or something else or that and something else (comorbidity). Do yourself a favor and get help for whatever it is. Life's too short.

Sorry I was a bit ahead of myself there... If you have ADHD and you start on one of the stimulants and respond well to them, you seem to have an "awakening" in some sense that allows you to see certain behaviors that are previously either denial or you were oblivious to and often they are immature childish actions that even "smart" people have no sense of, oftentimes, like in my instance, there's a whole brain function (inhibition here) that seems developmentally dormant or non-existent. And that is ADHD in my eyes I am clueless about structure because I happened to be "AP and Honor roll" so I was the exception and that would explain how a full scholarship to the Berklee School of Music can quickly change fate into a 7 year jail sentence for assaulting someone.

Sounds like a lot of ADD-type behavior to me, but a competent doctor can save you a lot of trial-and-error frustration by looking for co-existing conditions (or unrelated medical conditions) so you can work on the whole shebang at once.

Some ADD minds have trouble initiating action unless fueled by crisis or stimulation-seeking behavior. Very poor attention is offset by periods of intense attention, often on non-productive but comfortable things. Likewise with the eating--ADD minds crave stimulation and have addictive tendencies, so that's a possible explanation. ADD messes with your memory and time awareness in subtle but damaging ways. If it's ADD, a lot of these will become manageable or minimal with meds and/or learning how to create structure in your life that your brain will go along with.

Anthony Robbins, NLP, Harvard book of time management, Franklin Covey, a ton of other books... sounds like we went the same routes. Learned something each time but it wasn't sustainable long-term. The book "ADD-friendly ways to organize your life" does an excellent job explaining why conventional time and organization techniques don't work with the unconventional ADD mind, and what to do about it. It was the first time I read a time management / organization book and knew I could do it, knew it was sustainable, finally understood the mechanics of how my best-laid plans went regularly astray--and what to do about it. It was life-altering. Almost as life-altering as meds. I've found the two together to be an amazing combo.

ADD often is accompanied by co-existing conditions. IMO (completely not professionally grounded here) it would be very surprising if ADD didn't create depression, OCD, social anxiety.... By all means get a competent medical opinion ASAP, I doubt you'll regret it. Understanding your own behavior and getting control of your life back is one of the greatest highs there is. Pursuing treatment for the wrong disorder just isn't nearly as satisfying as getting help for the right one.;)