Hi Everyone,

This seems like a slow forum, but it's appropriate for my question. I'm 34, male and have been diagnosed with a bunch of different things: ADD (inattentive), Social Phobia, Restless Legs Syndrome, mild Obstructive Sleep Apnea and have some OCD traits. Of all of these, Social Phobia is probably the most dead-on diagnosis. I mean, I had every single symptom beginning in Middle School. Anyway, I've gotten better as I've gotten older and with different SSRIs. Public Speaking is still paralyzing, though.

To try to make it short, I believe ADD and Social Phobia have a lot of conflicting symptoms. Specifically, I was wondering if those with both Social Phobia and ADD tend to internalize the impulsive aspects of it to avoid perceived ridicule and embarassment. In other words, I feel the need to blurt things out and finish other people's sentences a lot (and I do when I know the people I'm talking to) but at the same time I'm afraid to embarass myself, so I will hold it in when I'm around people I don't know well. It's actually quite annoying but maybe it's a good thing in a sense.

Anyway, I put together a list of some of the manistifations I've found could fall into this realm of impulsivity and/or outward anger for the Social Phobic. They all display inherent ADD traits but are "safe" for Social Phobics. Please add to it and/or comment, I'd love to hear what others have to say about this:


Eat, Drink and/or Smoke very fast - I've been told by many to "slow down and enjoy your food" "You're inhaling that food" or "you're finished with your cigarette already?" I've tried to slow down to be more "normal" but it's not easy. It's not that I'm starving or really thirsty or dying for a smoke either.
Inability to say "no" to co-workers when asked to do something - From what I've read, this is fairly common in those with ADD. Wanting to get out of a social situation quickly makes this worse.
Eat when I'm not hungry - I have a tendency to grab handfuls of candy out of people's "community" candy bowls at work. I will eat them very fast and finish them before I even know what just happened. I'm sure this is fairly common for a lot of normal people.
Driving - I've never felt that I'm a really angry guy in general. In fact I have been told I'm quite laid-back on the outside. But get me in my car and I have absolutely NO tolerance for anyone else if they're in my way. I tend to drive fast, but not excessively so compared to most in this area. But if someone is going anything below 10 MPH over the speed limit in the left lane I can become very angry and frustrated. When people don't pay attention to a recently-turned green light or take their time in making a turn (especially left turns when the arrow is about to go away) I will growl or curse about it under my breath or to my wife if she's in the car with me. Never could bring myself to act on the urge to scream at people but I will give evil glares as I end up passing them. Probably a pretty common thing in a fast-paced metro area among the general population as well but to what extent?

Similarly, I am very intolerant of having to walk behind a person or group of people who are moving slow or taking up the supermarket isle when you're trying to get by. Happened a lot when I worked in New York City on the crowded sidewalks. I would get angry at old women walking too slowly and holding me up! I would never put myself out there and make a comment though for fear of "all eyes being on me." Probably a good thing in the case of the little old ladies!

Buying lots of stuff - for me it's books - especially teach-yourself type books on new web technologies. Also, computer/video games, computer programs, gadgets, some new thing that sparks my interest, etc. If it weren't for my wife keeping an eye on the finances we would be broke. Worst part is, I never end up finishing the majority of books I buy. A few of the video games I will finish but they have to be really engaging.
Starting on a new creative idea - such as writing a book or script for a sitcom, creating a web site or thinking up a new way to make money. This stuff can consume me for a while. I have a lot of good ideas and they're on my computer - somewhere - maybe. Sometimes I'll find and re-visit them and my interest may get sparked again, only to die away a few days, or hours, later.
Checking message boards/e-mail very frequently - doesn't matter if I'm at work and have a million things on my plate, I have to check for new posts and e-mails several times a day if I'm zoning into a topic. Funny, cause when I have phone messages or have to actually speak to someone I avoid them at all costs.
There's a lot I'm forgetting, but these are a few things that come to mind.

I have all those "symptoms" too... Except for driving it makes me mad when people go more than 5 mph over/under the limit. Especially during Winter like it is now...

Currently I believe I have ADD and SAD. I have not been diagnosed or anything, but I am 95% sure I have both of these.

Wow, you sound almost exactly like me. Hyperactive and impulsive go together in the ADHD diagnosis, so as long as you have the hyperactivity symptoms, you don't have to be necessarily impulsive. I have been diagnosed with both ADHD-C and Avoidant Personality Disorder, which is really just another name for social phobia. On the outside, I am very inattentive and hyperactive and very occasionally impulsive, which probably is the same for you. I also internalize the impulsiveness most of the time although it does slip out once and a while.

Something that I find interesting is that you say you have mild OCD type traits. If it has anything to do with perfectionism, then you can consider that kind of like the metaphorical bridge between the ADHD and social phobia. Don't quote me on this, but this is basically how it works. The ADHD mind constantly goes through changes between hypofocus and hyperfocus and during the hyperfocus phases, a desire for perfectionism is often present. If social interactions are being hyperfocused on, if the ADDer is criticized, he will hyperfocus on the imperfections in himself leading to an unpleasant feeling which is then connected with social interactions. The more this happens, the worse it becomes, and eventually, the poor ADDer starts to feel socially inept and the social phobia develops.

What a great topic. I can relate to everything you guys have said. This has helped me so much.

I know I'm almost a year late on this one but, I'll weigh in.

I have ADD(inattentive) and Social Anxiety as well as some OCD tendencies. I suppose stress is a common thread through these.

Anyway, I think from reading your post, that you have two things. Nervousness and fear from certain situations(social, etc.) and impulses from ADHD and OCD tendencies perhaps. Both can go hand in hand or play against one another.

I find that I want to ramble a lot and I do more and more(seems the older I get) when talking with friends or those I feel comfortable with. That is plain human nature to unload on friends and family and be more reserved with strangers, etc. Of course, with social anxiety we are even more reserved than the average person and with ADD/ADHD some of us may be more excessive. I guess basically I am saying these are just variations on normal behavior and to some degree most people experience these from time to time. Again, I'm not trying to downplay our experiences with SAD.

Like most with SAD I have an unreasonable fear of rejection and scrutiny from people. I have a very good sense of reading people and feel I'm generally right about people I meet(not always but, many times). That being, this gut feeling gets muddled alot by my paranoia that people don't like me or are talking about me. It's terribly frustrating and annoying. Makes me second guess myself alot too.

Anger in driving is something I get as well. But, if you'll notice, more and more people claim this as well. I can only speak from myself but, mine comes from life-long frustrations and negative thinking which have manifest into outbursts of anger. This is a tough one for me to deal with. I have realized though that it can be consciously controlled although, its tough to do. But, not a lost cause.

I check my emails a lot as well and randomly surf the internet. I think this is because my mind is generally racing and I can simply switch gears along with my mind online. Easy distraction for me.

As far as starting things and not finishing them or coming back to them, I was recently given great advice about this. I was at a career counselor who claimed she had trouble with this and other ADD-similar problems. She said it was a good thing for her to put it down and come back to it. It she got bored or distracted, instead of getting mad at yourself or worrying about not finishing, simply go to something else and come back at your leisure. Many times I have found that it helps me edit my work and even come up with new ideas I hadn't previously considered. It's not a bad thing at all. Trust me though, I always want to keep working and I get pretty annoyed with myself. But, this process is one that many people (writers, creatives) go through and ADD aside, it's fairly common in the creative process I think.

D

I have ADD, social phobia, mild ocd symptoms and major depression. That is a very good point/observation about how the impulsive aspects of ADD are internalized and 'repressed' by the social phobic for fear of humiliation. This hits my thought process right on the head. Often times the sudden impulse to say or do something inappropriate will throw me into a major panic attack even though I catch myself and don't say it. Then I get intensely angry and frustrated, and majorly depressed because I feel so socially inept and unable to communicate. Adderall helps majorly with this for me but it brings on its own set of major negatives.