I'm the mom of a ADHD seven year old (who probably has a comorbid condition as well), a "normal" two year old (both boys), and married to most likely ADHD (he keeps saying that he things he has it, and should look into getting tested, and never does :rolleyes: ).

So my problem is this, I deal with my husband so much better then my son. I'm way better at not letting his mess, and forgetfullness get to me, and yet I'm constantly counting to ten, and loosing my temper with S. I'm thinking it may be because it looks like S is also bipolar (getting evaluated in Jan), so it's not just the ADHD I'm dealing with, but....I don't know. I'm trying not to be too hard on him, and still trying to treat him like he's normal. I don't want him to start using this as a reason to slack off, espcially since he is so very smart (above grade level in just about everything). It's just so much easier to deal with an adult, but I know it's killing our realtionship.

To top it all off, I'm near paranoid about what this is doing to the younger one. With all the time spent on S, I'm just waiting for the resentment to start from B. And it's just so easy to look at B and thinkg, "This is how it should have been. This is what a normal child is." It's so not fair to either one, and I'm trying my best to not let that influence my actions tword either.

I'm just so stressed about this whole mess, and there are times I don't know how much longer I can keep it together.

Please tell me this isn't just me.

It's not just you. You are doing fine. Keep it up. :)
both of my kids are disordred, the oldest has bipolar, and I have adhd as well. It was never boring in our home, to say the least.

Your little one will be fine, "normal" kids remain normal, even when exposed to disordered siblings.

Bipolar disorder can be a handfull, but it is treatable and life can be good. In the near term, life can be a lot like a chinese fire drill. Hang in there as best you can. :p

The young ones are a handfull when they are disordered, but they learn as they grow older and things get better.


Me :D

You may be able to deal with your husband better because as adults, we have learned coping skills for ADHD. Most adults go undiagnosed for many years. Chilren, especially 7, are still learning. Do the best you can! It is hard. I don't know how I would do it if I had a child who was ADHD. I really feel sorry for my parents and what I have put them through in life!

It's just so...*argh* I swear I would have a better time convincing my front door to open on comand then I can getting S to put his shoes away. It just feeels like too much at times.

Hang in there-- I'm sure I drove my mom nuts by daydreaming all the time. Also, don't think of your older son as the one who's not "normal." There are no real categories-- everyone's different, and it may not be such a great way to devide your two kids-- normal and not normal. I understand that you were just trying to explain the situation to us on the board, but I'm guessing your son may also be picking up that you think he's not the normal kid. And taht has to hurt for a 7 year old.

Have you done any counseling on how to deal with your son?

Good luck, and remember, this too shall pass :)

Have you tried 1,2,3 magic? It's worked wonders on my ADHD 7yr old son. Highly recommend it.

We've also had success with positive feedback. I give him a quarter that he keeps in a special treasure chest when he does the right thing.

It's all about start or stop behaviours. Start gets a reward, stop gets a time out. Starts are more positive, but you start with an equal number of each and don't try to do to many at the same time.

Hope this helps

We've tried it. It didn't work. I'm almost positive at this point it's not just ADHD. And I never say that he's not normal. I know kids can pick up on it, but I really only get that way after one of those days. I know it's not fair to S.

Bipolar is definitely treatable and meds make a huge difference.

It's just so...*argh* I swear I would have a better time convincing my front door to open on comand then I can getting S to put his shoes away. It just feeels like too much at times.I feel your pain! My 3rd daughter (ADHD and bipolar) was a full 7 years old before she learned the concept "We close doors behind us when going in/out" :o yet she has a genius IQ.

What Miss Apple said is true, bipolar is definitely treatable and the methods for coping with ADHD have been tested and sound policies for a long time :).

As for the neurotypical child, maybe you can approach it as a learning experience for the boy? Teach him tolerance and patience for those not like himself? Perhaps he will one day decide to be a mentor or coach for ADHD people, its a nice thought anyway....

And hey, be glad your DH is compliant to the degree that he is able right now! My BDH is disordered due to a traumatic brain injury he had as a child, and he is a trucker so meds and treatment are just not an option right at this point in time (new company). I have an easier time getting my ADHD KIDS to move their shoes than him :rolleyes: and let's not even discuss how many socks he loses letting them lay around now shall we? ;)

Good luck to you all and keep us posted as you go along. We have a great group here to support you when you feel you need it.

I'm just counting the days until Jan 12. That and hoping they call and are able to get him in early.

Have you tried 1,2,3 magic? It's worked wonders on my ADHD 7yr old son. Highly recommend it.

We've also had success with positive feedback. I give him a quarter that he keeps in a special treasure chest when he does the right thing.

It's all about start or stop behaviours. Start gets a reward, stop gets a time out. Starts are more positive, but you start with an equal number of each and don't try to do to many at the same time.
Can you please explain 1,2, magic? Is it a book or treatment method? I work with visually impaired boys and one will not put his shoes away. Being visually impaired, he can never find them of course. So tired of alternately tripping over, and frantically searching for his shoes right before school. :p Also work with a totally bllind 6 year old who found a place to keep his shoes the week he moved in. We all always know where his shoes are. ;)

Hi,

try this link http://www.parentmagic.com/

Hope this helps.

Bipolar is definitely treatable and meds make a huge difference.
You know, I'm not worried that he's bipolar (my sister is). Honestly, I'm almost hoping he is. That is something we can deal with. If he's just ADHD, with nothing else......I don't know what to do then.

Lady Lark, I have seen untreated bipolar in a child and untreated ADHD in a child. The intensity of untreated bipolar was nothing like my experience with ADHD. Either way, I'm glad you are able to get in to see the specialist.

You and me both. :D I'm just trying to hang in there until we do get in.

Just remember to breathe, Momma. :D

Deep, calming breathes, while I count to ten, twenty, thirty, fourty......

Seven more days! Seven more days and *fingers crossed* we'll know what's going on.