So awhile ago I wrote some posts about my issues and attitudes about my baby bro.
I don't know how to add the links for those posts so here's a quick run down:

-he is my half brother

-my stepfather took off w/ him when he was 5 yrs old and my mother, other bro and i hadn't seen him in 14 yrs

-i found him by researching on the internet and calling his extended family

-i quickly bonded w him over the net/phone and invited him to live w/ my family in houston, he was floating around doing nothing and living with his girlfriends family.

- he's 19

- after a year and half i recently asked him to move out b/c i'm pregnant and he just moved out a wk ago or so

the issue?
the entire time he lived with me there were issues, i'm 31 and he's 19 so go figure right? i'm a mother and he's a slacker who only cares about getting more and more tattoos on his body so yeah it isn't suprising that we don't see eye to eye.
he's a good guy, nonviolent (are my standards so low for teenage boys or what? he doesn't smite his enemies whoopie he gets a star for not being in prison) he is a kind person generally, he doesn't act like a jerk
he's completely a slacker
so i'm REALLY angry
b/c he called my best friend up today and asked her if he could score some XTC

my best friend is this very cool type woman, she parties as i used to do pre child, she's very tolerant and open minded

this infuriates me. i'm not an uncool person ok? most ppl think i'm in my 20's. except i have a mortgage and i'm a parent and married, i go see live music all the time, i do think mary jane is an ok substance and i use it when i'm not pregnant but.........
don't hit up my best friend for drugs!!!!!
does anyone understand why this would anger me? infuriate me?
and she tells me not to say anything.
its happened a few times before, where she would call me and tattle that my baby brother has called her and just totally did something that i find ridiculous and then she tells me emphatically "Don't tell him i told you this"

why would she care if i tell him? he's my brother not hers
why does she bother freaking telling me if i'm not even 'allowed' to do anything about this?

i'm sooooo ****ed!!!!

am i out of line for this?

She's put herself in a tough spot and is playing both sides of the fence. She should have told your brother no and not to ask her again. I would tell your friend not to tell you anything else about your brother unless it's a life or death situation. She needs to decide whether her loyalty is you or your brother. It's not fair that she is putting you in this position either. If she were telling you out of concern it would be different but she's not because she's telling you to keep it a secret. I'm not sure what her motive is but it's not a nice one. Your brother is an adult and while he may make decisions that you don't approve of, there is little you can do about it except tell him how you feel. If I were you and this was happening with my sister, I would tell my sister to be carefull who she trusts and not give any more info. Your brother is confiding in someone he thinks he can trust. She is betraying his trust over and over and he doesn't even know it. Then she turns around and dumps it on you and you are expected to just stand there and hold it.

Are you angry because you feel this is a bad reflection on you?

thanks for the replies...
casinowife the person my bro is asking for drugs is my best friend not my sister, she's older than me by a couple of yrs and my baby bro is 11 yrs my junior. i think she's just leaving the door open b/c she wants to be perceived as 'cool' vs someone who is over 30, is responsible and doesn't take teenage drama seriously. she sometimes pursues things that are really too young for her. she has this dream that she'll never age or not be cool. i'm trying to make her understand this is not a bad thing: growing up.

stratdude:
i am not angry b/c i feel this is a bad reflection on me, that my bro asked my best friend for x, i'm angry b/c he has no business asking my personal friends for things like this. if my friends decide to do any favor to him whatsoever its b/c he is MY brother and they feel like they should help him, i personally feel that if he is going to be pursuing this kind of junk then he needs to ask one his million friends on myspace or someone else. it would be one thing if he tried to call me b/c he was stuck on the side of the highway and i didn't answer my phone
but then there is the question of appropiateness in relationships and boundaries.
i wouldn't ask one of his friends for advice on my sex life, for drugs or a ride.
HELLO!
so i don't think he should be asking my friends. does that make any sense to ANYONE out there?

i wouldn't ask one of his friends for advice on my sex life, for drugs or a ride.
HELLO!
so i don't think he should be asking my friends. does that make any sense to ANYONE out there?
Definitely. I follow some common unwritten life rules, especially in regards to respecting other people. And it's frustrating when I see others not follow them.

You're in a tough spot. You've got a 19 y/o bro doing what many 19 year olds do, feeding the "I'm still cool like I was in my younger years" desire of your friend. They're each others worst enemy, and don't even know it.

And then in comes you, the more mature and responsible friend/sis who they probably view as being the "un-hip" mother figure.

I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd be cautious on how you're delivering any suggestions/comments/etc. back to either of them. As soon as they adopt any sort of "she's nagging" perception in a given conversation, you've lost them.....devaluing anything point you're trying to make. Maybe find a more gentle way to deliver a message. Your goal is for them to a have self realization moment that gets them to change.

For your friend, that may be a guilt trip re: enabling your bro (and more importantly and harm in doing so). Again, not from you telling her point blank, but from you leading her in a very subtle manner down the path of self realization of that.

For your bro, that's tough. A 19 y/o head is hard to get into. I remember being 19 (I'm 29 now) and how stubborn I was too. Again though, he needs to convince himself of the positives in changing his ways, not necessarily hear it point blank from someone. Maybe help guide him in seeing the positives that come along with "growing up", and that there's still plenty of fun to be had (with far less risk!).

My self realization moment occurred around that age. An ex-grilfriend called me at work to tell me how much of a loser I was (I kinda was). Not sure how or why, but it hit me REALLY heard (and I have really thick skin). I got hell bent on proving her wrong, and when on a rampage - got in great physical shape, aggresively pursued a well paying career, and becoming a better person all around. It worked.

The best of luck with your situation, and keep us posted!