View Full Version : It's Christmas and....


Skully
12-17-06, 04:38 PM
I miss my mom. She died on January 27, 2005. Last year I was in a fog. This year, I can clearly see everything. Her and I used to decorate the Christmas tree together. The Christmas tree is still sitting in it's box in the living room. I just can't get motivated to decorate it.

Anyone else in the same boat? Really missing someone for Christmas?

Crazy~Feet
12-17-06, 04:56 PM
Setting up the tree this year was a collosal waste of time. Between the baby and the kittens the thing is just trashed :( and looks so...ghetto! BDH is so peeved he wants to just toss the tree and get a prelit chumpy next year, but I think that would ruin tradition for the kids. I dunno, he may be right....

I am bummed beyond belief that I will be unable to see my new granddaughter for the holidays. Its such a blow having to run my youngest two kids all over Hell's Half-Acre in the space of two days :mad: so that all my in-laws can see their grandchildren...just seems so ironic to me.

Nice idea for the thread msam. I am sure many of us will have some venting to do.

SolarLife
12-17-06, 05:38 PM
I lost my mother to cancer on September 11th, 2002.

She personified Christmas: the meticulous decorations, the smell of fresh baked bread and chocolate chip cookies, the handmade present tags, the Christmas music...

Christmas has not been the same without her. With time it's gotten easier but it will never be the same.

spacemania
12-17-06, 05:46 PM
I'm sorry for you guys *Cries*

SolarLife
12-17-06, 05:50 PM
I'm sorry for you guys *Cries*Thanks Sweetheart.
(((hugs)))
SL :)

Skully
12-17-06, 06:45 PM
My mom died from lung cancer. It is such an unfair disease. She was only 53. Thanks spacemania!

SolarLife
12-17-06, 06:47 PM
My mom was 55. Breast cancer.

Grade A
12-17-06, 07:11 PM
YES!! I was the same, I was very late this year putting up my tree. I had no desire to decorate it, and it also set in the living room for weeks.

We can all relate a little this time of year, especially losing loved ones, and it is supposed to be a happy time.

Hang in there!!

((Hugs)) to all of you having a difficult time this Christmas. :)

A'

I miss my mom. She died on January 27, 2005. Last year I was in a fog. This year, I can clearly see everything. Her and I used to decorate the Christmas tree together. The Christmas tree is still sitting in it's box in the living room. I just can't get motivated to decorate it.

Anyone else in the same boat? Really missing someone for Christmas?

xstarchildx
12-17-06, 07:30 PM
I miss my mom. She died on January 27, 2005. Last year I was in a fog. This year, I can clearly see everything. Her and I used to decorate the Christmas tree together. The Christmas tree is still sitting in it's box in the living room. I just can't get motivated to decorate it.

Anyone else in the same boat? Really missing someone for Christmas?
My heart go's out to you! i'm sorry you lost your mum! why not decorate the tree yourself and think of all the good times you had to-gether, i'm sure she wouldn't want you to be sad!

Skully
12-17-06, 09:59 PM
I think we need to get a new tree. We got a fiber optic tree the year my mom was diagnosed with cancer. My mom and I traveled all over the place looking for just the right tree. It was one she always wanted.

PeaceIn
12-18-06, 01:27 AM
Yea, my mom died of cancer in 1999. I miss her terribly! We have some ornaments with her picture on them that are hung on the tree. It still is a hard time of year for me. I cry every morning when alone in the shower. No kids to interupt, my own private time. It gets crazy though. We will be going to visit family the day after Christmas out of state. I am dreading it. We haven't spent holiday time with them since mom died. It has been so much better staying here with hubby and kids. We will be staying in a hotel so we can have a safe non-alcoholic place to stay, free of tension. Thanks for starting this thread, I understand the difficult time the holidays can bring. What have you decided to do with your tree?

BlessedLady
12-18-06, 10:54 PM
You aren't alone.....I really don't know whatelse to say. The Grieveing Process is a very individual thing.

My son died suddenly in Aug 2003 at the age of 24. I had 6 kids & they were all grown, well my youngest was almost 18, when he died. The Holidays that yr were very difficult.....and even though they aren't quite as difficult as that first yr, they are still difficult.

I think that when it's someone like a parent or child. you know someone that you were with everyday, every year, for either all of your life or alot of yrs that it just makes it somewhat more difficult in ways. As oppossed to maybe a Grandparent or older adult like aunt or uncle that were a Major part of the Holidays & made them the Special thing that that always were.....but they weren't a part of you day to day life on a continueing basis. Does that make any sense ? It's really hard to put some feelings into words & this is one of those situations.

Try and be Good to yourself during the Holidays. And don't worry about the things that you don't feel like doing. They are your feelings and you have every right to them. And don't allow anyone to tell you that you "need to snap out of it" or " the way you feel just isn't normal after this length of time." To begin with I don't believe that anyone that has been in your shoes, o rather ones similar to them, would ever say that because they "do know how it is."

If your Mom had a favorite Charity or Loved animal or maybe books. See if maybe you can volunteer a few hours during the Holidays. It might help a little with how much you are missing her by maybe helping you feel closer to her by being around the things that she Loved/Loved doing. Also you might want to check & see if there is a Support group for those that have lost Parents/Loved Ones. you might not want to go on a regular basis but right now it might help to be around others that understand how you feel.

I Hope that you can find a way to feel at least a little better. You will be in myThoughts

BlessedLady

Swede63
12-18-06, 11:13 PM
Just want to say I wish I could give you all a big hug. I hope you find some peace in the new year.

SolarLife
12-19-06, 01:36 AM
My son died suddenly in Aug 2003 at the age of 24. I had 6 kids & they were all grown, well my youngest was almost 18, when he died. The Holidays that yr were very difficult.....and even though they aren't quite as difficult as that first yr, they are still difficult.Losing a mother was difficult but losing a child, I can't imagine. A client of mine lost her 40 years old on September 7 from a rarely detectable aortic rupture (the same thing that killed actor John Ritter).

She's "adopted" me as her son and I call her mom. She's so sweet but how his loss shook her family.

BlessedLady, I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks Swede63 & xstarchildx for the warm thoughts...

fasttalkingmom
12-19-06, 12:27 PM
It's been 4 years since both my Grandmother's died (same year) I miss them both this time of year.

BlessedLady
12-20-06, 10:16 PM
Losing a mother was difficult but losing a child, I can't imagine. A client of mine lost her 40 years old on September 7 from a rarely detectable aortic rupture (the same thing that killed actor John Ritter).

She's "adopted" me as her son and I call her mom. She's so sweet but how his loss shook her family.

BlessedLady, I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks Swede63 & xstarchildx for the warm thoughts...
SolarLife,
Your kindness is Deeply Appreciated. His absence is always felt.....even though it's not often talked about. I think that the girls don;t want to upset each other or me, so they say nothing. I must admit in an attempt to not upset them, I seldom talk about it with them. But, I'm Blessed to have a few close friends that I can talk to about it.

BlessedLady