View Full Version : Conversation and relationships


loserinamailbox
12-21-06, 10:10 PM
I'm brand new here but am excited and hopeful that I might perhaps find some help with some of the things that I struggle with.

I've had real issues with conversation most of my life. I consider my lack of communication skills to be the worst part of ADD. For friendships I am normally fine. It's often a bit awkward, but not too bad. Now when it comes to guys, that's a completely different story. I can talk to them as friends pretty easily, but once I can tell they are really interested I can't say one single thing, and if they are looking into my eyes I can't make myself look back no matter how hard I try. I can't open my mouth. This makes them annoyed with me and thus they leave, crushing to pieces every time, because they don't realize that it isn't under my control, that I want to talk, I want to be the one for them but just can't show it. I can't keep living like this anymore, I'm way too sick of it.

Anyone else have this problem? I'd give anything to make it go away. Anything I have. Anything that helped? I am on medication and it helped a bit, but not an amount of significance. Tia!

pedalpounder
12-22-06, 01:57 AM
Sounds like you get nervous and choke up when you're interested in a guy. Sometimes it helps to get the hard stuff out of the way. If you know he's interested, suggest he accompany you for a date (that doesn't involve talking) like a movie

~boots~
12-22-06, 02:07 AM
I am pretty much like that too..I suck at conversation, unless it is personal stuff we are talking about..like to friends etc..as soon as it turns to *specific* things, I'm lost.
I am finding learning more general knowledge is giving me better skills..and I can tlak about things without a blank look on my face

pedalpounder
12-22-06, 02:16 AM
do you guys also generally try to control the conversation, since following someone else's is more diifficult?

loserinamailbox
12-23-06, 12:20 AM
I can never think of anything to say. It's not that what I think of is not good enough, it's just that I cannot think of anything at all. I used to drift off and think about other things and then realize that the person is there and be like "Oh!" Now I am on medication and I don't drift away like I used to, it just becomes really really awkward. I like it a million times better when they dominate the conversation, but I also don't like loud people so it gets tricky when they're quiet as well.

pedalpounder
12-23-06, 12:31 AM
I had that problem when I was younger. I always felt like I had to say something, but never could. For me it was because I was scared of being ridiculed, cause the way I think and hence converse is really, really weird and demented. One day I stopped caring and it really opened me up. It can still be awkward with some people though. Don't worry though, you'll end up finding someone you like and likes you back that you feel comfortable with

loserinamailbox
12-23-06, 06:28 PM
Unfortunately I believe that I have already found this person. I guess my first post should have read "guy" instead of the plural. He's managed to tolerate me for a year and still always comes back just as strongly. I just wish I had some type of pill that would give the ability to hold conversations with him, or perhaps find some way to allow him to read my mind. My, life certainly would be made at least one hundred times better *sigh*.