View Full Version : Attention Deficit Disorder Foundation Services Wanted Poll #1


healthwiz
12-20-03, 09:23 AM
Please answer these questions to help identify services Adults with ADD need. Thank you, Jonathan

Please post details about your experiences either receiving or not being able to receive or difficulties obtaining these services.

Thank you, Jonathan

waywardclam
12-20-03, 03:28 PM
I have a lot of trouble answering this because the more I look at it the more I think that ALL of these are important things to have assistance for.

And part of the problem will be the different locations around the world that this 'foundation' would be in. In my area of Canada, for example, assistance with many of those educational issues are offered free and paid for by the government. In other areas they are offered but cost hard cash. In other areas there is no assistance at all... and in some schools, no assistance is even allowed. Does the 'foundation' then supply its own counsellors, direct you to existing ones, or pay for existing ones, or all three depending on location?

Some additional crucial things IMHO:

Credit rating recovery/preservation services

Parenting skills services - both for parents of ADD kids and ADD parents of ADD and non ADD kids

Medication services - advice, alternative approaches, funding, availability

Advocacy services - lobbying the government for more beneficial ADD support laws, opposing laws that will make life more difficult for those with ADD

Computer/PDA skills services - many people with ADD in their lives are not connected to this forum

Others I have thought of but forgotten since I began this post. :(

Really, anything that has a subcategory here at the ADD forums would be worthwhile looking at as a possible area that such a comprehensive foundation would deal with.

And... may I humbly submit... I love the idea of this... but is this not more than we can chew? Unless someone out there IS independently wealthy,or an expert on getting gov't grants, and hasn't told me about it...

biker
12-20-03, 03:50 PM
I aagree with WW. I could use a lot of help in all these areas. Right now I am getting that help through my therapist and meds. I think a key to this whole thing would be getting socieity to understand ADD. Then as they became educated then that would open up avenues for help with ADD issues. It is very hard for people who do not have ADD to understand it.
Jim

healthwiz
12-20-03, 08:05 PM
I have interest from outside the ADD community in putting a foundation together to help Adult ADDers. I hope I am able to return to them with some form of feedback and data that sounds positive and worth investing time into.

I am trying to provide that data by first formulating what adults need and want, and then determine whether they are able to get those needs and services met. Those that are not readily available, the goals would be to expand availability. More information is all that is needed now.


Before a selection of services can be targeted as needed, people have to provide data as to what is deemed important. Later, of those services that are needed, people will rank those in importance in future surveys, and rank them in terms of available access. From there it can be determined which services are needed most, based on importance and on availability. Those would be the first services that would be considered as a first step in the direction of helping Adults with ADD.

I fyou don't mind, answer the poll and if applicable then click on every service if all of them are needed. This poll is denoted as #1 because it is assumed that a #2 with all your recommendations will come out too...and a #3...etc. I have found that there are many gaps in services needed versus services provided in my area of Florida. I need most of the above services too, but that doesn't mean I know whether all ADDers could benefit from the same things I need, so feedback and filling out the poll is very helpful in determining what ADDers need.

Thanks for your help.

Jonathan
:)

healthwiz
12-21-03, 02:30 PM
Early results are already intersting!

Keep voting.

A vote from every member would be nice!!!

smooch
12-22-03, 11:32 AM
Perhaps the Admins could send a email message out to all members, active or not, inviting them to vote in this pole?

smoo

healthwiz
12-22-03, 11:45 AM
Good suggestion Smooch :)

Admins? ...

Andrew
12-22-03, 11:55 AM
While I think this is certainly a worthwhile topic, we also wish to respect our members. E-mails for things other than ADD Forum-specific announcements would be considered SPAM by many.

The best thing I can offer, at the moment, is to "stick" this thread at the top of the section.

Hopefully if we are able to raise enough money to switch to Version 2 of the ADD Forums, things like mailing lists could be opted in to, etc. by topic. (as a future feature)

healthwiz
12-22-03, 12:19 PM
Hi Andrew. Can you do that, stick this at the top of a section? I think that would be a great help.

:)

Jon

Andrew
12-22-03, 12:21 PM
Done :)

healthwiz
12-22-03, 12:22 PM
Thank you!

:)

Jon

healthwiz
12-22-03, 08:27 PM
Hey everyone

Just want to remind members to fill out the poll.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3537

The results are really showing some differences between low concerns and high concerns.

About 71 views so far, but less than 10 poll replies so far. Thats a little better than 10% so far. I know we can get a better participation rate in doing our own exploration of our needs. Or do we need the non-ADDers to research us? With the non-ADDers we might get stuck with results and attitudes we are not happy with.

:)

Jonathan

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3537

waywardclam
12-22-03, 11:53 PM
I've viewed it five times so far, but can only vote once, just to point out...

healthwiz
12-23-03, 02:12 AM
True Wayward. No way to know for sure how many times people have actually viewed it.

But I still want to see a higher number of votes!! lol

Thanks

Jon

Garry
12-24-03, 10:24 AM
I see all the things as something that an ADD could possible need help with

but the one crucial thing that I dont see which is

Assistance to help a ADDer recognise that there is a name for the beast that has plauged them all their life.

Is not recognistion and acceptace of the so called disorder the biggest stumbling block to the whole situation.

I myself recognise that I could use help in most of the areas if I want to try and make myself fall into the mould that society tries to put everyone into.

If I had learned what I know now at an earlier age

and concentrated

on what I do best

as opposed to trying to learn how to do things that do not interest me

then my time would have been better spent

These are all things that WE can really use and appreciate proper help, but only if there is a true need, not becuse society demands that we can do these things

as an example ,for myself per say

Don't waste your time trying to teach me how to SPELL
Teach me how to use a spell checker

and then spend the rest of the time helping me to DISCOVER what my STRENGTHS are, and then HELP me to figure out how I can use them in life to make a living and exist in the world

in my humble oppinion


Once I could put a name to the beast,
My life made more sence,
Once my life made more sence,

Then I took the time to seek out help, with the issues in life that really caused me heartache.

I now avoid, or hire assistace, with the areas that dont interest me!!!!
_________________________________________________
an old saying



When the student is ready

Then the teacher will appear

healthwiz
12-24-03, 12:16 PM
Very good points Gary. Some of what you are referring to is career choice assistance, which for an ADDer would mean going through testing to determine strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, interests and non-interest areas, and from there be able to make some recommendations as to which fields provide an opportunity for that person.

I'm convinced that ADD is not actually a disorder but a gift, and that the real mission is in Developing Self-Actualized ADD Adults. by taht I mean that ADDers can be developed into highly functional human beings who operate mentally on two planes, one on the plane that relates to the general and practical concerns of everyday life, and the other on the plane of the inventor, genius, creator, developer, thinker, resolver, solver. If ADDers realize first that they have a gift, and it is expected that they be cruising around the stratospheres some of the time, then they will be able to accept much easier the idea that they also have to come down into earth mode and yes- pay the bills and clean the house. At that point I believe ADDers will be a happy bunch. ADD needs to be recognized as a form of brilliance and thought energy, rather than a disability, and it must be accepted that ADDers have a harder time learning the daily stuff if they are not given the development in the areas of thinking. ADDers could then be given a little more training than others - preventitive medicine - in the areas of social awareness, making friends, scheduling, organization, cleaning up, career counseling, etc.. - more than the average kid gets. At the same time, they could be receiving some type of education extras like a class that lets them develop the inner inventor and do independent research on areas of interest. I think the bulk of an ADDer education should be with his/her classmates, but there is not reason why there cannot be a couple extras in an ADDer day.

These are just my preliminary thoughts.


Thank you Gary for adding your supportive and thought provoking comments!! More input like yours is needed!

Jonathan

Wheel1975
12-24-03, 01:25 PM
Originally posted by Garry Lawton


If I had learned what I know now at an earlier age

and concentrated on what I do best

as opposed to trying to learn how to do things that do not interest me

then my time would have been better spent


Exactly so.

sleepzalot
12-25-03, 10:20 AM
I have no doubt that we all at some stage either did or still need help in probably all of those areas, depending on how fortunate we are regarding locally available support.

For me, this forum has been THE greatest help I have received.

This forum has provided a cohesion of like minded and like challenged individuals. We all share similiar problems and similiar difficulties to overcome.

What this forum has provided which probably most ADHD addults still need is a central place where we can recognise as a common trait those things we used to go through life thinking were just unique to us.

My vote therefore goes to a foundation which can create and maintain AWARENESS of AdultADHD, a central repository of information, and of course, a link and access to this most excellent forum.

The repository would contain the learning points that have been built up over the many threads here which have been illuminitaing at times, and heartbreaking at others.

I would like to see it as not-for-profit so as the maximum number of people could benefit from what is learnt.

I would also like the foundation to be active in exploring ideas. Some ideas would be where a number of people notice that doing something a particular way is of benefit and a proper study could investigate how this may be applied to other ADHD adults who experience the same problem but have yet to identify their own solution.

I think also that Jonathon is on the right path with the multi-plane view of the ADHD person and would like to see some exploration of this. I spend most of my time in this area these days and is an extremely illuminating area of interest.

If possible, it would be nice for an International view be considered so that peopke in as many countries as possible could benefit from the knowledge gainded and developed.

So my suggestion would be as follows:

1/ Agree foundation agenda - Understand and improve the lot in life of adult ADHDer's (or something similar).
2/ Identify focus areas. Suggestions include medication, education programs, awareness programs, coping skills, relationship skills, communication skills.
3/ Identify research areas. This poll would be one research area, another might be the hunter/farmer theory and another might be the Russell Barkley theory. Maybe the multi-plane genius option could be researched. (I'm sure there are plenty of ADDers who would vilunteer to help do the research).
4/ Provide a co-ordinated and cohesive reference point and repository where access to information on ADD/ADHD could be garnered. There is so much to understand and it would be great to point someone at just one place.
5/ Develop a few quick goal scorers to develop momentum. A semi-professional ADHD "test kit" (psych test, time/space test/messyness test etc) that could be taken so that those with ADHD can be more easily recognised. This just an idea that may prove too hard but I think it can be done based on how I was tested.
6/ Identify at a State and federal level the programs that may help or hinder support for adult ADHD and arrange for the necessary lobbying to best help the cause of adult ADHD.

Thats my 2 cents.

Sleepz

healthwiz
12-25-03, 12:35 PM
Wow Sleepz ` I'd say you are awake! Thank you for some excellent commentary and developing your thoughts in such thorough detail. That type of assistance is greatly appreciated and needed. Your feedback is so appreciated.

Keep it coming; keep thinking it through.

Jonathan

healthwiz
12-25-03, 12:46 PM
By the way, I will be making a #2 poll with all your suggestions for areas we need help in, and letting people vote in that pole too. So we need more suggestions for services we might benefit from so I can have 20 to put in the next poll.

Thanks

Jon

healthwiz
12-25-03, 02:02 PM
Very revealing patterns regarding what is really most universally important here.

Hoping for more votes.

Jonathan

healthwiz
12-27-03, 11:17 AM
Hope you all had a nice holiday. Visitors and members, please make your vote heard. Complete this fast poll, indicating the services you think would be the most helpful to offer ADDers. If services you think are needed but are not listed, post the other services you think are important.

We are getting more votes, but we still need more. The more votes, the higher the validity becomes. We want to hear from everyone who has ADD/ADHD.

Thanks!!

Jonathan

Garry
12-27-03, 05:03 PM
Id like to comment on the item with the lowest score todate

Interior Decorating Assistance (creating comfortable, attractive and useful living environments)

The one comment I have to this is perhaps the name is decieving

Interior Decorating Assistance


Were the bracketed part is of more value

(creating comfortable, attractive and useful living environments)

As I call it making a home ADD friendly

Lots of shelves where there are no doors to hide whats on them large counters to have many things laid out on display so its easier to find or use things ect

healthwiz
12-28-03, 12:49 AM
Thanks Gary. I think you are correct about rephrasing. I personally voted yes on this, because I feel I need help making a home comfortable and attractive and ADD friendly. I may rephrase the question. Does anyone else think rephrasing it would help? Thanks for input.

Votes are increasing, more needed. Thank you!

I find the results interesting already.

Jonathan

Garry
12-29-03, 04:43 AM
Thanks Johnathan

It took my wife and I a long time to understand the principal behind this.
She remebers where things are and if there hidden from me then I forget where they are.

So we arranged the house so that she has her area (90 %) of the house and I have 10 % (my computer room and workshop)

Im allowed to keep it in whatever state works for me

Working well

healthwiz
12-30-03, 12:51 PM
Out of 20 items, there is not one item yet that has received 100% vote. Some items have had as high as 80% agreement and some items have had as low as 20% agreement. No items have received 0% agreement.

Continue voting, causing validity to rise, and we will see if more voting differences continue to emerge or if voting trends blend together.

Remember, all visitors who have ADD, as well as all members who have ADD, are invited to vote. Please vote!!

Thank you

Jon

healthwiz
12-31-03, 04:32 PM
Please keep voting. I know there are more than 15 people here capable of voting. There are thousands of members here and it would be nice to see a 100 votes on this poll, to really determine what services are MOST needed among ADDers.

Thanks for your help.

Jonathan

Wheel1975
01-01-04, 09:44 AM
Jonathan

There is a book i heard an interview on, the subject of which was "Why people don't vote."

It sounded like a very interesting book... i wish i could remenber the title or author for you. perhaps someone else is aware of this book.

I know it is frustrating, but "relax" or "give it up" you can't make people vote (I don't thikn) but you can frustrate yourself trying!

Good luck on getting the participation numbers you wanted. (anyway!)

waywardclam
01-01-04, 12:44 PM
I heard in France a while back they considered making it illegal not to vote because so few people were going out.... they called them the "boredom elections"...

healthwiz
01-01-04, 04:59 PM
Well, I appreciate the empathy! and I appreciate the 16 votes so far. Its already showing that there are big differences in perceived needs, where some 13 out of 16 people voted for 1 service (I won't tell which one so I won't skew the poll, but you can see it yourself by simply voting!). Next to that, there is only one service that got 12 out of 16 votes. This shows that the services listed have a high degree of difference in perceived need - or people woudl simply vote for them all. The lowest one still got 3 out of 16 votes. None got 16, 15, or 14 votes. What are the two top services voted for? See for yourself, vote!!

Remember, we are trying to get 100 votes! :)

The unflappable vote motivator!

Jonathan

healthwiz
01-05-04, 09:31 PM
We re up to 17 votes, and there is only one service that received 14 votes, guess which one? Have to take the poll to know! It only takes about 30 seconds to take. See what other people want for services, maybe some services you never thought about or maybe get additional validatation for services you do want.

100 vote goal, 83 votes to go!

Jon

healthwiz
01-06-04, 01:42 AM
100 vote goal, and 83 votes to go.

Jon

healthwiz
01-06-04, 07:46 PM
The ADD Voter will never get any legislation through! They don't vote!

Come on - prove me wrong - rack up 100 votes here! There are a thousand plus members, can we get 10% to vote?

Please try!

Jon

healthwiz
01-06-04, 11:07 PM
How about assistance finding things, like keys, wallet, the other shoe, and eyeglasses? Does anyone need that service?

I kid you not!

waywardclam
01-06-04, 11:12 PM
Hell YEAH!

[/StoneCold]

SubtleMuttle
01-07-04, 12:03 AM
Thank you, Healthwiz!

I voted about a week ago; should have responded then because now I don't remember what I selected! But I'm sure I selected everything but Interior decorating, Being on time (I've gotten much better, still fly by the skin of my teeth but that's okay) and intimate relationships (or I think I don't need that one ;) )

How about including in one of these forms of assistance an educational program that regularily updates (in one place, and I know that's being done here to; but I'm talking about a database of publicised findings) on the latest research, from various diciplines, on AD/HD and it's most common comorbid conditions and associated LDs? To better educate us about our own psyiology and whatnot. That way when we go for professional help we will have some knowledge to take into the doctors office with us to 1) keep us from paying our doctors to educate us about our 'conditions' (not that that would be bad, but I've been mislead by medical doctors before) 2) give us someting to better judge the quality of the help we choose to recieve. Silly? I'm starting to do this on my own and feel a bit overwhelmed! Despite that there's apparently little out there to dig into!

I want a personal secatary. Not just any secretary, a real intimidating brute, "GET TO WORK!!!!!" How about the AD/HD mob- we'll scare the heck out of each other for motivation!

How about intense training that will teach me to ALWAYS put my cell phone and keys in the same place every day.

Draga
01-07-04, 12:24 AM
Well to be honest I never have had asssistance in any of those...I have to learn to deal with my own but if you could tell me where i could get that kinda help you an PM at anytime...I am nieve about such things. Thank You!

Wheel1975
01-07-04, 01:25 AM
Buy a box at k-mart... plastic with a lid, dump your phone and pockets into it. one out in the house, one by your bed. Stuff goes in,

this system broke down when i appropriated the box for another purpose, temporarily .

Is everyone laughing?

Yep. i need to dup that ohter junk out STILL and put it back to the job it did well!

SubtleMuttle
01-07-04, 01:53 AM
I am not laughing!

I will get something for the bedside; I have a really cool bowl made out of a tree root (it's big) that I recently set up by the front door. Now I have to program myself to remember it's there; because when I walk through the door I'm usually trying to remember something else! We'll get there; for me it's a matter of repition and reminders! I think I'll set up a temporary sign: dump here!

Wheel1975
01-07-04, 03:51 AM
Just use the dead halt method.

Come to a dead halt at the door.

Confirm where you are going, then without moving, check the bowl... then start moving again.

The dead halt method.

healthwiz
01-07-04, 05:45 PM
lol - I love the dead halt method. I will remember that!

Unconsciously, that is what I do, cause I always know if I don't stop at the front door and pause and think, I will probably leave something behind, like the key to get back in the house!!

So DEAD HALT at the door!

Thanks Wheel

:)
Jon

healthwiz
01-07-04, 05:47 PM
Yahoooo !

We got 23 votes now!

Only one item came up with 19 votes, and the next closest only has 15 votes.....so what are these two services that everyone wants?

(this is a family show kids!)

Vote and find out!

Jonathan

SubtleMuttle
01-07-04, 06:10 PM
Dead Hault!

I just did it! Yipee, it worked! Wallet and phone in bowl, and I didn't forget to let my dog back in! Thank you!

How about a navigational service? ;)

Wheel1975
01-07-04, 07:51 PM
I'm glad "Dead Halt" worked for you.

Another satisfied customer!

I might be able to work that up (navigational service...) I worked out a custom system for myself, but I imagine I'd need clues about you for a really worht while suggestion.

healthwiz
01-08-04, 02:33 AM
Thats great Wheel - saved another person with the ole' DEAD HALT!!!!

:)

Weeeee are up to 25 votes!!!!

Yes, ADDers are starting to turn out everywhere and vote! We will be at 100 in just 75 more votes! Go babay go!

Jon
:)

healthwiz
01-08-04, 02:36 AM
Out of 25 votes, only one service got 20 votes and the next runner up got 17. You might be surprised to see which is the #1 service needed. I don't think #2 will surprise anyone.

Jon

Wheel1975
01-08-04, 08:04 AM
Originally posted by healthwiz
Thats great Wheel - saved another person with the ole' DEAD HALT!!!!

:)

Weeeee are up to 25 votes!!!!

Yes, ADDers are starting to turn out everywhere and vote! We will be at 100 in just 75 more votes! Go babay go!

Jon
:)

Usually teaching or problem solving involves starting at the begining, (regardless of where that really is... that is starting at the REAL begining regardless of where one would like to start)

acheiving orientation (getting un lost)

and synchronizing.

For the ADHD loss of signal, loss of orientation, loss of synchronization are the largst practical problems.

DEAD Halt serves many of those all at once, for many people.

Brianne
01-09-04, 01:51 AM
Some of these thing do not apply to me yet for I still live with my parents at age 24 but do not pay bills. Though I know that in all areas there seems to be lack of help in some form or another. Something I have gotten some help with some of these but end up doing better finding my own way cause what works for them just does not for me. My biggest problem is finding someone to help motivate me in staying consistant with things. I mean some try to motavate me but end up making some comment about how I was before or how they get tired of reminding me then my motavation disapears and the cycle starts once again. *sigh*...........Why can't people learn to be helpful without making you feel guilty? I mean I just don't need the remarks. Just a simple thank you for trying would be enough to help me press on without complications.

healthwiz
01-09-04, 03:36 AM
Sounds correct to me Brianne. The guilt just does not work for anyone. most people rebel against guilt, and when they don't rebel against it it causes all kinds of conflict in some other way. And then the assumption is that you were not doing the best you could do. If you could do better you would!

The best system is to learn how to motivate yourself, and to learn to do so without feeling guilty when you don't succeed at getting something done as well as you wished. The only thing that is important when you are your own motivator, is knowing you gave it a reasonably good try. It doesn't have to be Herculean each time, it can just be reasonable effort, and to know that within yourself. Then you feel good each day, even if not all goals are accomplished...knowing you tried.

Thats my secret to not getting all guilty about all the things that don't get done. I don't go into denial, I know I need to do them and want to do them, but I can cut myself some slack because I know that each day, well most days, I give it a pretty good try. Soem days I don't try at all, and thats ok too; I can live with that. Most days I do try.

Make sense?

Jon

healthwiz
01-09-04, 03:40 AM
Hey ! 27 votes! And the top item got 22 votes and the 2 runner ups got 18 votes each. So think about that the 2 runner ups got 18 out of 27 votes, that is only 66% who need those 2 items. Now 22 out of 27 is 81% who need that service! what is that service?

Vote to find out!

We are looking for 100 votes, 27 down and and we have 73 votes to go!

go ADD Voters!

Jon

Wheel1975
01-11-04, 11:45 PM
Don't confuse self recognition with need.

Sometimes they are similar, sometimes not.

healthwiz
01-12-04, 12:45 AM
True...should be "perceived as needing or wanting".

Jon

healthwiz
01-12-04, 09:12 AM
We are at 28 Votes and still need more voters! Please check the poll and vote. 100 ADD ADHD Votes are needed!

TY

Jon

healthwiz
01-13-04, 01:55 AM
29 Votes...71 to go!

Jon

healthwiz
01-15-04, 10:59 AM
30 votes! 70 to go!

Garry
01-17-04, 12:23 AM
Grin are you by anychance hyperfocused on getting 100 votes and when you finally get them you might have forgotten why you wanted them

healthwiz
01-17-04, 03:40 AM
Yes, I'm hyper focusing, and No I won;'t forget. I know this project is worthy!

Thanks for the laugh!

Did you vote?
31 Down, 69 to go! Here we come 100!

Jonathan

Brianne
01-28-04, 11:48 PM
I would love to vote but I am still having trouble getting it to work. Its being worked on though so I will when its fixed. :D

Brianne
01-29-04, 12:12 AM
What you said makes sense Healthwiz. For me its just hard because I still live at home. Yes, I am at the age where they can't say as much to me as they once could but at the sametime I still live under their roof. I will ask for help with getting me motaviated because ..............well this summer I hit an all time low. I got to the point I could not do it alone. My negative inner voice had taken over because all I seemed to be hearing was how disapointed people were in me. I was disapointed in myself too. I didn't need others reminding me I had growing up to do. I just needed patients and support to find myself again.
All I asked was that instead of telling me everyday what I do wrong or didn't do, letting me know what did right and noticing what I had got done. Even if I only got one thing done to me was better than nothing because of how I was feeling inside and out. That will motavate me to do even more eachday. I am an adult now I know when I do something wrong or forgot to do it at all. No I am not a know it all now that I am older............I just don't know why people feel the need to dwell on my mistakes like I don't see them myself at all so they need to be told to me.
I told my parents my self esstem was already low enough and even though I shouldn't let what they say get to me so much at the time I was so low I couldn't control it like I should have been able too.
That was this summer. Its somewhat blown over but I know my parents are just taking a step back because they are too busy. It will start again I know. Only difference now is that I am not as low as I was.
I seem to do better when no one tells me anything at all. For 3 years my parents have been trying to get me to make the next step in my life by either going back to college (if I choose to) or building off the degree I already have. I had bored exams to take. Never did pass them but I know thats not what I want to do though they pushed it. I tried my hardest to even got back in therapy to help me out (even though we didn't have the money at the time money wasn't the concern cause I was starting to scare me and everyone else with how low I was getting). Now that they have backed off and I am able to let them know what I really want to do. They kinda talked me into what i went to college for before. They finally get that they pushed that too hard. I am slowly but surely on my own picking myself back up. I wish the pushing from them didn't get to me so. It does though and I have tried to tell them again and again..............Look how much more I get done and how much more proud of me you seem to be when I take it in my own hands and do what I want to do. They may not like my decision at first cause sometimes (though I don't think they relize it) they think I won't be able to do certain things because in the past it was hard for me before being diagnosed. They should however, know by now even if its hard for me when I am determinded nothing stops me. They see that but still don't get it and the cycle goes on and on..................if I had the money and a roommate I'd get out of here. I love them to death but I need my independance. And they still think I don't know enough to do this well on my own. Funny when I do things on my own I suprize people everytime with what I can do.

healthwiz
02-10-04, 12:17 AM
Your Irish Proverb says it all. Living at home doesn't! It seems to me that you already understand that and are thinking how to get out of living under parental watch. As soon as you do, you will probably blossom again. Life goes on, even after a career change or a loss of a career.

One word of advice though, ADDers tend to have a hard time sticking with things, especially education, since it requires immense focus. If you were coming to me for advice, my advice would be to grab whatever degree and whatever board licenses were available to you, take whatever tests you can, and get credentialed in whatever you can be credentialed in. Then you can have the option to throw it all away. Right now you don't have the option to throw it all away, because you have not finished it, so the choice is not really a choice at all. At least give yourself the choice by finishing what you started. You have recognized your anger at being pushed into doing something, you have expressed it too. But the fact is you did all the work already, its a little late to decide not to finish the board exams unless you want to punish yourself and your parents for making a mistake. The mistake was already made, they pushed you hard, and you resented it. Let bygones be bygones, learn from your mistakes. And go finish your board exams! That way you and your parents can both walk away from this experience, no matter how difficult or egregious, as winners, even if serious mistakes were made.

I know all about egregious anger at parents, and I have learned it is not worth throwing it all away to keep the parents from winning, because as they lose I lose. You can both be winners, and then you can claim your emancipation, without ridicule or criticism. Right now, since you are not finishing what you started, you are only lending validity to their egregious statements. There is only one way to win, and that is to let you both win, accepting the mistakes and all.

Just an opinion, based on my own life experiences. If it does not apply to you, you have learned a little more about me, so don't take it personally.

Jon

healthwiz
02-21-04, 11:00 PM
35 votes! Interesting results! We are looking for 100 votes; can it be done?

Vote!

Jon

Garry
02-22-04, 12:19 AM
You are 35 % of the way there

Thats an impressive improvement over the last time I scanned this thread

healthwiz
02-22-04, 12:39 AM
Hi Gary!

Yes, the votes are arriving, though slow! lol! But persistence is the mark of a tried and true ADDer. We will make it!

Jon

healthwiz
02-28-04, 02:42 AM
Do you know what 28 out of 35 voters say ADDers need? I do! Vote and find out too!

Jon

Nucking_Futs
02-28-04, 07:09 PM
I honestly think we need more assistance in maintaining a positive attitude toward's ourselves...Without being able to love and accept ourselves other's will not be able to follow suit. Without a proper "cheer squad" so to speak other goals i.e. organization cannot be acheived. But, this is only my opinion.

pembroke
02-28-04, 11:08 PM
i need help with getting that chip off my shoulder - you know - the everyone is always talking about me and how stupid i am chip...

Garry
02-29-04, 01:47 AM
Well if they are going to talk about you anyway then we might as well do and be really stupid so they can really talk about it cause we all know that we aint stupid in any way shape or form

just aint very organized or linear

We are what we are and we love ourselve despite our limitations or our ADDvanced abilities

Nucking_Futs
02-29-04, 02:32 AM
Judit I happen to love that chip on your shoulder.

waywardclam
02-29-04, 02:36 AM
I had a chip on my shoulder but I got hungry and ate it... :D

healthwiz
02-29-04, 10:46 PM
24 out of 38 people needed something I thought they needed.
22 out of 38 people needed something I thought they needed.
22 out of 38 people needed something else I thought they needed.

...and then..... more people than ever, in fact ... 31 out of 38 people ..said they actually needed this other thing, something on the list because I thought some people would need, but it turns out that most people say they need it.... even though it was no where near the top of my list, and it really surprised me!

Thank goodness for polls!

Jon

healthwiz
02-29-04, 10:51 PM
Nucking, Pem and Garry, we are all talking about the same thing, the chip removal, the cheer squad, and the loving our selves. And it is amazing you all say it in different ways but essentially mean the same thing. I believe, as I have now for a long time, that ADD includes some kind of remission of the ability for the brain to process emotionally powerful data. It therefore lingers, and causes great distress, even years later, giving symptoms much like post traumatic syndrome, which happens to include a lot of symptoms like ADD.

I offset this tendency by attending 3 hours a week, 1 night a week, of psychodrama - processing lots of emotional data.

Jon

Nucking_Futs
03-01-04, 01:36 AM
healthwiz,

How do I put this. For me the good that is said about me is overridden by all the bad thing's. I have no clue why I find it easier to hear the bad then the good maybe it's my genetic makeup or maybe I just haven't heard enough good that I think everyone is lying to me. I ride myself pretty hard for even minor mistakes; but, take comfort in knowing I am not the only one.

And I do have PTSD (had a funky childhood) so at times my ADD is worse then other's just depend's on how many of my trigger's have been tripped up. And there are some emotion's that are better locked away. lol

Hug's

waywardclam
03-01-04, 02:21 AM
ADDers are traditionally people who overemphasize criticism and ignore compliments... :(

Garry
03-01-04, 06:49 AM
We have spent a lifetime being criticized and condemned for doing things that are normal for us

We have spent a lifetime being talked about as being bad because linear thinkers are comparing us to themselves and being criticized for not being like them

We have spent a lifetime hearing this and have grown to believe them

If you tell a dog he is bad enough times for doing something he will shy away from it

We have found a home where we are accepted for what we are and even though we may be told when we are bad by our fellow peers we are told in a nice way and given the chance to learn and redeem ourselves

__________________________________________________
My remaining life is short but I have, and the only regret I have is that I didn't have access to the forums much sooner

__________________________________________________

My Statement

If we can help to steer 1 or 2 ADDers in the correct direction to learn "How To deal with the 95 % of the population that suffer from LTD (Linear Thinker Disorder)

And then in turn those 2 people that we help, Help 2 people,

and so on and so on

We can make a difference

We may not be around to see it but we will know

____________________________________________
We have walloped in self pity long enough because that is what we were made to believe is our destiny

And I say we are now standing up and learning !!!!!

We will be heard

We will be acknowledged

We will be accepted

I will not just lie still ( in my hyper mode Grin) and be walked upon anymore

_______________________________________________

I could be looked upon as being radical in the Linear Thinkers Mind
and I don't disagree

But I am not violent and I will not be hushed up ever again

I have to go to work in the L.T. World now but I go to work knowing that I am ADD

I think Different
I do Different
Because I am Different

AND I AM PROUD OF BEING WHO I AM

-------------------------------------------------

and I'm babbling again

Thank you all for being here and being my brothers and sisters

Garry

healthwiz
03-01-04, 02:19 PM
Originally posted by Nucking_Futs
healthwiz,

at times my ADD is worse then other's just depend's on how many of my trigger's have been tripped up. And there are some emotion's that are better locked away. lol

Hug's

well, this paradoxical statement is just the Freudian evidence, that deeply sealed emotional traumas continue to rise from their supposed locked places, and interfere in day to day relational tranactions. Its when I got sick of the irrational interference from depths I had forgotten, that I finally decided to face the monsters head on. Now the symmetry between the depths and the upper chambers of my heart and mind, are not so disimilar.

Jon

healthwiz
03-01-04, 02:28 PM
Originally posted by waywardclam
ADDers are traditionally people who overemphasize criticism and ignore compliments... :(

to me, and in my thinking, this is further evidence pointing towards a neurological issue in the area responsible for emotional processing. It is an emotional processing task to filter criticism, which is part and parcel fo being in the human condition - if you don't think so, try being President (any president), and still function under the weight of national criticism, international criticism, local critisism, personal criticism, and family criticism. Why is it that some people can filter the criticism and move on with their lives, and other people can't? Its like the child who can't hear the teacher but hears the erasor and the papers shuffling. The focus is in the wrong loci, and in emotional processing, we shoud be able to hear the positive affirming comments and boost our egos enough to maintain self esteem, while filtering out the critisisms, realizing there are many possible reasons why that critisism was given, why it might be invalid, biased, or not impartial. Yet, by and large, as you say, it seems ADDers don't do that well with criticism, and by and large, don't boost their self esteem sufficiently with the positive evidence, and by and large hang on to those chips on the shoulders for many years. So by and large, I believe there is an emotional processing deficit going on here. This leads to several problems, including problems growing up, because we may still be dealing with so many unresolved emotional conflicts in our minds that attending to today's issues may be close to impossible to do, rationally.

Any thoughts on this idea are appreciated. Does any of this ring a bell of recognition for anyone?

Jon

Nucking_Futs
03-01-04, 02:31 PM
Jon,

I completly understand what your saying honest I do. But, I have a full time job, a part time job, three kids (2 of which are ADHD also), husband, 2 dog's, 5 cat's, countless fish, house work, yard work. I'm not really sure I have the time it takes to fully analyze myself right now. And I do not hide any of my childhood trauma's mentally I have come to term's with them I just am not sure if I were to find a way to let the "emotion's" they invoke out if I would ever be able to stop. It's so hard to explain. Call me chicken!!!! lol

But, your honesty is refreshind and appreciated.


Gary,

Your not radical your loved and I"m honored to call you a brother. So, two ppl is all it takes huh? I think I can do my share and probably a little more. HUGS

Cherity

Nucking_Futs
03-01-04, 02:35 PM
Your last post definatly ring's a bell with me. But, I intend to learn from history and not repeat it. I have maybe gone a little far with the compliment's as my daughter thinks she is "ALL THAT" lol but, I think children have the right to hear when they are good or special as well as when bad behaviours manifest. It's my theory children themselves are NOT bad it's the behaviour's that are bad. I tell my children when a rule is broken or they are being thoughtless. I love you but that behaviour needs to go. Their therapist calls it positive reinforcement and since we have been using this method I have noticed my children do not have such a hard time with criticism. But, then I'll let you know for sure if it worked in about 20 years. lol

healthwiz
03-01-04, 04:44 PM
NF...sometimes our parents teach us by showing us what not to do. That is a form of teaching too! If you don't repeat what your parents style was, and come up with a healthier more communicative, more loving style, that builds character and self esteem at the same time, and everyone is a winner, including the people who you had to do the opposite of!

I had to learn to not do what my parents did, and I ;ook at that as teaching too. Beleive me, ther was a lot of teaching there! hahgaha

That does not abay the need to resolve one's own stuff, but it sure stops the stuff from flowing downhill.

Thank you for your open comments.

Jon

Nucking_Futs
03-01-04, 04:53 PM
lol I do have a problem with being too open I tend to shock other's who have had no experiance in such issue's.

I do think your right about growing beyond your lesson's so to speak...I think if every generation repeats the process my great, great, great, great, great, great grandkids will be pretty decent parent's lol.

About settling my emotional issue's...The biggest urge I have is too scream which is totally unlike me I'm a quiet person by nature. and I am afraid I won't stop once I start that is why it's something I probably won't persue myself. But, do not take my lack of interest in screaming as a (hmmmmm what's the word? lol) form of denial I face all of my issue's head on and have come to terms with them and for the most part have moved on. I'm just afraid to scream. lol

healthwiz
03-01-04, 05:11 PM
NF..any other info you want on where and how to scream, contact me via private. Think about this concept: You can not scream forever, but you can forever want to scream.

Jon

Nucking_Futs
03-01-04, 05:14 PM
D*MN I hate it when you make sense!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know maybe let me think about it. Yeah maybe your right it's gotta beat drowning.

redletterruth
03-03-04, 02:28 PM
Screaming is GREAT!! I did it in my truck with the windows rolled up. I knew someone would see me mouth open and face clenched but I didn't care. Most of the times when I wasn't just screaming to scream, I'd scream at God. I fired him all the time and hired a God that was a little more on the ball- (read :"on my side") Futs- you do stop,,,sometime :)

Nucking_Futs
03-03-04, 03:45 PM
I think I know that I had to of screamed sometime; it's more this morbid fear someone will see me or hear me there is no way the average person ADD or not is going to understand why I need to scream and if I tell them they give you the same look it makes me sick to see ppl think I need pity. Give me a break pity did not get me were I am today.

Whoa major ADD time here I"m sorry healthwiz I turned something good that you are doing into something about me it was honestly not my intention to be so selfish.

Ya know Red you can scream at me anytime you need to. I'm ADD I learned how to let it in one ear and right out the other. lol

redletterruth
03-03-04, 04:04 PM
Naw, the only one I feel ok about screaming AT is God-- he's plenty big and he can take it,,,,,,you i would neer scream at...HUGGS

Nucking_Futs
03-03-04, 04:07 PM
AWWW GOLLY *blushes*

healthwiz
03-04-04, 12:49 AM
My gosh! The poll is at 51 responses!

Time to celebrate!

Jon

healthwiz
03-05-04, 01:12 AM
Any chance of getting a few more votes? We are at 51 votes. Goal is 100!

Jon

healthwiz
03-05-04, 10:16 PM
Oh yah! 52 votes! 48 to go!

Oh yah, go those ADDers!

Jon

healthwiz
03-06-04, 10:02 PM
Still 52...48 to go... We will get 100 votes!

Jon

healthwiz
03-10-04, 08:54 PM
Hi folks

This poll, which once had less than 10 responses, is the original little engine that said "I think I can, Ithink I can"...and now it is actually at 52 votes. The goal: 100 votes...which will lend a greater reliability to the poll. Anyone out there who has not voted yet? Please throw your vote on this little engine!

In the process of voting, you get to find out what 36 out of 52 Adders say they need! And it is not sex, and not chocolate...so what is it?

Vote and see!

Thanks

Jon

healthwiz
04-05-04, 04:36 PM
We have now gone to the 2/3 mark, and the homestretch is in view --- 100 votes! 66 down, 34 to go!


Jonathan

nnamelet
04-11-04, 05:28 PM
I recommend an additional category:

Inability to follow through on tasks and goals. This is the one that destroys jobs, careers, achievements, financial stability, relationships, and joy in life. It may be the mother of them all.

Regards Warrior

neuroangel
04-16-04, 07:44 PM
It's really good what you're trying to do here.

I need help with holding down a job, and I'm not really sure how that can be helped...but some of the others on the poll would be great too. I need to work on my note taking and study skills. I need to keep things organized for classes. I need help with just general time management.

There's supposed to be help at my school for the disabled, so I am going to look into that. Again, it's great what you're doing here. I hope things start getting better for those of us who really struggle.

Cyndi

neuroangel
04-16-04, 07:52 PM
I've tried to vote three times in the past two weeks and I keep getting: The action you have attempted could not be performed as your session appears to be invalid. Click the below link to attempt this action again with a new session.

What do I do? Please PM me, I might forget where I posted this...

Thanks,
Cyndi

healthwiz
05-29-04, 01:18 AM
This is amazing, 15 more votes and this poll does what no one thought it could, reaches 100 votes.

healthwiz
05-30-04, 10:08 AM
If you want to know the results on the ASSISTANCE people with ADD are voting for, as those things they need most, check this survey. The results are at first surprising, and after you think about them, not surprising.

prumont
06-01-04, 07:27 AM
In general we add'ers need cognitive behavioral therapy of various sorts. My family & partner have helped me with all the items listed over the years. I still recall the time my partner suggested it would be a good idea to put the car keys in the same place every time so I would not lose them. It had never occured to me before that!

healthwiz
06-09-04, 10:11 PM
Good point Pru. Keys have to be in one place, on the hook, when I come in the door.

Is there anything not on this list or not on the other two lists, that you or anyone can think of that would be a helpful area of assistance?

FtLaudWolf
07-23-04, 10:22 AM
Looks like you've got your 100 votes! I think I was 103 actually.

Being a Florida resident myself, healthwiz, I would be certainly interested to find out about how the Foundation is progressing. I also have grant-writing connections if needed.

healthwiz
08-27-04, 02:09 AM
Looks like you've got your 100 votes! I think I was 103 actually.

Being a Florida resident myself, healthwiz, I would be certainly interested to find out about how the Foundation is progressing. I also have grant-writing connections if needed.

We certainly did pass the 100 mark! wow! Yippee!

I appreciate your offer of assistance. I have been off track a couple months due to illness in my family. I'm excited by these poll results. Aren't they amazing?

Thanks for your help Mr 103!

Take care and lets stay in touch since you are local in a way!

Jonathan

Blondiex46
10-11-04, 08:55 PM
sorry couldn't read it way to many things on the page, part of the disability

healthwiz
01-11-05, 01:25 AM
I hope people will keep voting in this poll, and the 2 similar polls that followed.

Thanks!

Jonathan

healthwiz
02-27-05, 01:56 PM
Wow, the little train that could... this little poll once strained to get 10 responses, yet soon will reach 150. I have to thank addforums for an environment that allows this to happen!

:)

Jon

healthwiz
07-09-06, 04:17 PM
There are probably a lot of new people who have never seen this poll. If you have never voted, please contribute to this body of knowledge.

Thanks!
:)
Jon

healthwiz
07-09-06, 06:01 PM
This poll has been on-going for over 27 months (started in March 2004!). The results are interesting to anyone with ADD/ADHD. Respond and check out the results yourself. This really lets you know what ADDers need most.

There are probably a lot of new people who have never seen this poll. If you have never voted, please contribute to this body of knowledge.

Thanks!
:)
Jon

KarenPA
07-31-06, 07:04 PM
Very wise Jon. I wish I had read this 20 years ago :p

healthwiz
07-31-06, 09:29 PM
Hi Karen,

Thanks! Please let me know, share, what you liked about it? Did something in particular help you? I've always loved this poll. It let me know I was not that different from most ADD folks!

Thanks

Jon

KarenPA
08-01-06, 07:28 PM
One word of advice though, ADDers tend to have a hard time sticking with things, especially education, since it requires immense focus. If you were coming to me for advice, my advice would be to grab whatever degree and whatever board licenses were available to you, take whatever tests you can, and get credentialed in whatever you can be credentialed in. Then you can have the option to throw it all away. Right now you don't have the option to throw it all away, because you have not finished it, so the choice is not really a choice at all. At least give yourself the choice by finishing what you started. You have recognized your anger at being pushed into doing something, you have expressed it too. But the fact is you did all the work already, its a little late to decide not to finish the board exams unless you want to punish yourself and your parents for making a mistake. The mistake was already made, they pushed you hard, and you resented it. Let bygones be bygones, learn from your mistakes. And go finish your board exams! That way you and your parents can both walk away from this experience, no matter how difficult or egregious, as winners, even if serious mistakes were made.

I know all about egregious anger at parents, and I have learned it is not worth throwing it all away to keep the parents from winning, because as they lose I lose. You can both be winners, and then you can claim your emancipation, without ridicule or criticism. Right now, since you are not finishing what you started, you are only lending validity to their egregious statements. There is only one way to win, and that is to let you both win, accepting the mistakes and all.
I did throw it all away, years ago. I never had the clarity of knowing what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I pursued my degree (only an Associates, but still several years of my life part-time) and got credentialed. I worked for several years in the field, grew more frustrated over time and when I was laid off, I couldn't think of going back to that field. I was out of work for nearly 2 years and finally took anything that came along. I am now out of work again (got in over my head and was fired).

I was not diagnosed ADD until after losing my most recent job, but all of the frustration and feelings like I was incapable of functioning at times, it makes sense to me why I was having so much difficulty all of my life.

I do wish I had your above advice many years ago. I may have been able to go on in the career I had chosen.

I've had a lot of increased frustration in the last few months, but once diagnosis came and I was able to understand some of my behaviors, I have been able to see that they can be changed, that it's not "just the way I am". These forums have helped me so much. You guys were all there when I was at my lowest. It's still hard working my way out of the "hole" I've dug for myself, but it is such a relief to know there are people out there to vent to. People who actually understand what I'm going through.

You (ALL) are doing great work.

Well, I guess I've gone on long enough.:soapbox:

Thanks,

adhdmomw/bipo
08-16-06, 10:21 PM
Hi I wish I had seen this site YEARS>>>>>>> ago I am a mom with Bi-Polar/ adhd. I was not diagnosed until approx. 2 years ago. (ADHD is a side effect of Bi-polarisim)(Who knew) I have two boys who are extreme ADHD!!! Both were diagnosed at the unheard of ages of 2 and 4. This was when you couldn't be "ADHD" until you were 5. They have been on meds for years. Life without meds for them. NOT!!! I myself am learning to function "normally" without my meds. I do well most of the time summer time is the worst. My husband is also ADHD. (HA come live with us if you want some fun!!! ) Fortunatly we have made it 14 years come this Dec.I just wanted to let you know this is a great place and will be visiting more often. Thanks!! Is there anyone who can relate???? I always need someone to bounce my thoughts off of. Thanks Again Keep up the GREAT work.:rolleyes: :cool: :eek: :faint: :eyebrow: :) :o :D ;) :p :mad: :confused: (could be me at all Times)

~Ødd~Scr~θθball
02-20-07, 10:38 AM
Wow! what a neat poll. It's a little late for me as far as Career and School help is concerned and because of the Dyscalculia, I don't see much advantage to learn Budgeting and Check book balancing unless there is someway to overcome the way too many mistakes we Dyscalculiacs make in simple/not so simple math calculations. Sometimes I am not even aware of making an error-needless to say this alone could cause serious financial headaches. :eek: But help with home, time and relationships would be absolutely heaven. I've lost jobs mostly due to the AD{H}D of which until 2003, I had no name for the symptoms, I struggled with and could not explain prior to being D'xed. Thanks healthwiz for coming up with this poll. It will be interesting to see what comes of the results and the impact it makes on AD{H}Ders and society at large. :D

:) :cool: :D ;)

healthwiz
02-24-07, 03:11 AM
There are some very clear patterns in this poll, which everyone should see the results of.

Tmoney
07-30-15, 01:19 PM
Well I guess the majority of people voting are female!

namazu
07-30-15, 01:56 PM
Well I guess the majority of people voting are female!
Why? :scratch:

(Also, the poll is 8 years old! :D)

aeon
08-04-15, 01:08 PM
I only picked two, and they turned out to be the top 2!