View Full Version : how does one approach a friend?

12-26-06, 03:14 PM
how do you approach a friend about their anorexia/bulimia/self-image issues?

personally, i've gone through phases of my life where i've struggled with all of them. i can see her doing the same things that i had been doing. it's to the point where it's interfering with her body chemistry, and i fear for her because she isn't stopping. the first time that either anorexia or bulimia effected me physically to as significant a detriment, it was enough to 'scare me straight.'

i'm of the belief that people have to figure it out for themselves before they can truly make a change, and--thus--do not want to broach the subject only to have her make me the enemy. how do i help her find a healthy means of weight control?

1. make her exercise with me? i've been trying, but she consistently refuses.
2. remove the celebrity magazines from the apartment? she wants to desperately look like the stars
3. speak to her friends that only increase the behavior?

the problem is that in the past we were friends that would look out for each other's eating habits. we'd both make sure that we didn't eat...or that when we did, we would eat low calorie and healthy. i'm afraid that i've reinforced the behavior. and that attempting to, now, tell her the opposite would only make her rebel against me even more.

i've spoken to another friend about it, and we want to do something. we just don't know what to do. i have an appointment with my family doctor on thursday for a physical. i plan to use that as a time to talk to him about what to do. plan to ask my psych as well. i'm just looking for anything and everything. the more suggestions the merrier, i guess.

04-17-07, 07:27 PM
I am sorry noone has responded yet!

First of all, please stop trying to manipulate your friend. I know that is not what you think you are doing, but measuring your every move and calculating how it might affect her/him is going to not only make you delusional, but eventually **** her/him off once she realizes what you are up to. Stay focused. She/he is totally in their own world, not worrying about you. Only about food, and not eating it.

I don't have the answer, but whatever you do, please stay honest and respectful of this person's intelligence as a person. Instead of focusing on your friend's problem, focus on how it is affecting your relationship. If you feel they are treating you differently, then this is a valid reason to sit someone down and find out why. I found this article really helpful, please read it:

What do you think?