Kiisethwa
12-29-06, 03:18 PM
First of all - I'll be doing good if I sit here long enough to finish this!
Some of it may be scattered-thinking, but I'm just typing as I think of stuff...sorry.. :(
I am a member of a car club. The wife of the vp, who I'll call Polly, & I kinda' became friends. She's pretty introverted (I lurnt that wurd on here...lol) and I figured her to be shy & maybe a little insecure.
She and the pres. who I'll call Maggie and I talked about the 3 of us going out sometime.
(I'm leaving out marital status, ages, etc., stating facts).
We all live no less than 70 miles from each other & see one another at the car club meetings. I used to be more involved, but you'll see why I backed out....
Polly kept emailing me about a mystery man who has the hots for her. I listened & would reply as a friend.
She kept on about this person as if I hadn't already acknowledged the situation. The emails stopped shortly.
She had stamps made with her picture on them, but would ask what I thought about them. I said they're pretty, and in a friendly manner, I pretty much explained that I wouldn't want my face AND name and address on the same envelope to be seen by thousands en route to its destination.
Polly asked if I'd been modeling long. I said, "No..late bloomer" type answer as I do everyone who asks. She began saying in her emails that she could've modeled but her husband didn't want "strange men drooling all over her." I explained that modeling encompasses thousands of options & that, for instance, I could model as a soccer mom when my younger peers couldn't....and that elderly people model as well (polident, wheelchairs, etc).
I have never boasted about my being a model bec. if you pay attention, that could mean ANYthing.
Ever since then, it seems she has been "competing" with me. We got into a little distant cat fight if you will & I was blown away. She had been very giving & aside from all of the emails etc. which seemed to beg for my approval or something, she was ok!
(PS: This isn't the first time I've had alleged friends turn on me like a barrel horse on a dime...)
Well, later on she sent me a peace offering & I figured since all had been said in the "cat fight" that she would focus on other things - family, vacations, etc.
It hadn't been long until the 'need for approval' began again.
Even on the car club forum, everytime I change my picture, avatar, signature, etc. she changes hers.
Maggie (a woman over 45 and the counselor at a high school) noted the same behavior pattern -- from the first incidents until now.
Personally, I just didn't know how to describe her actions, the way she looked at me, copied me, etc. Jealousy is a common thing but I wasn't sure if that was the EXACT word I'd have used. Like "Jealousy and......??????" something.
My husband's ex wife made me feel the same thing. When Lynn & I started dating, she cut her hair to a bob & bleached it. (I had/have blonde hair & it was a bob cut). She started tanning, dressing like I did and even talked a LOT about becoming a police officer. The few times I saw her, she always had some police department demanding her apply with them, etc.
Later, she DID go thru an academy but failed the state licensing exam all 3 times. If you ask her now, she "removed herself" from law enforcement.
I had a family web site which included my childhood of barrel racing @ local play days, etc. SHe "raced barrels in the state finals"....didn't happen.
Polly gives me the same feeling. It's almost creepy & I'm glad we're not close to each other. Lynn's ex used to freak me out as it was.
I don't know how to describe it - its just.........WEIRD.
I emailed out a fun link where you upload a picture & it scans -- finding celebs who you "look like" (features, etc).
A few days later, Polly emailed her results & introduced it as "HEY!! MY FRIENDS KEEP TELLING ME ABOUT THIS SITE....I THINK ITS SCREWED UP...I DON'T MIND THAT I LOOK LIKE THEM SINCE THEY'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL..."
Due to being in law enforcement & practicing what I preach to others in similar cases, I have saved the correspondence with Polly.
I backed out of being on the Board of Directors bec. being around Polly was extremely awkward and since her husband is VP and is...well, her husband....I figured for everyone's sake, I'd back out. She accused me of being weird and all I had done was tell her the things that she did that freaked me out -- quit copying me etc. She chewed me out about things that I wondered "where in God's earth did THAT come from???"
I mean 99.9% of it was so far-fetched, it was unreal.
ONE MORE EXAMPLE OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD IS that a friend of hers (Tina) made some doll tags. Polly emailed them out to a lot of people and asked what we thought about them (they were sexy-come-hither type and had her name on them).
She told me in one email "I'm flattered that she (tina) thinks I look like that"
HUH???? :confused: I was thinking "It's a cartoon!!" (See my blog on MySpace).
Maggie and I were talking about how Polly sends out email pictures of her allllllllll the time. I send out pics of my girls, the horses, the cats, family stuff, bday parties, etc. (We joked and said that with Polly, it's "Here's me in the back yard....Here's me in a glamour photo...Here's me in a chair in Hawaii....Here's me and my dog...Here's me scratching my A**....")
And, what's bad is that we're not exaggerating. I have the proof.
She's made comments like, "Well, YOU'RE not the only one who can wear a bikini" when I asked who the lady was in a picture she'd put on her MySpace (back when we were "friends"...now, I don't go to it bec. before, she'd make comments & statements on her page that were about me, so I don't bother).
I still have that picture & one she sent recently which makes it very clear the first one was not her. (I don't understand that kind of stuff at all).
NOW....
Maggie, the club president, wants me to come back on a regular basis. There is nobody there to represent the 3rd Generation section and she misses me. (when all this happened with Polly, I felt like Maggie would "take her side" and it hurt bec. Maggie & I get along so great & love to have fun...which, I need every once in a while).
Maggie told me everything I already knew about Polly having issues upon issues. It was just good to hear it come from somebody else - esp. Maggie with her background and just being who she is.
The meeting is on the 6th & I asked for that day off, which I got approved, and I announced on the forum that I'd be there, that I missed everyone, etc.
I'm not sure how I'll feel that day. I almost want to excuse myself from going but know that I NEED to beat this. It's a 70 mile drive & I am so afraid of the shape I'll be in by the time I get there.
Some of it may be scattered-thinking, but I'm just typing as I think of stuff...sorry.. :(
I am a member of a car club. The wife of the vp, who I'll call Polly, & I kinda' became friends. She's pretty introverted (I lurnt that wurd on here...lol) and I figured her to be shy & maybe a little insecure.
She and the pres. who I'll call Maggie and I talked about the 3 of us going out sometime.
(I'm leaving out marital status, ages, etc., stating facts).
We all live no less than 70 miles from each other & see one another at the car club meetings. I used to be more involved, but you'll see why I backed out....
Polly kept emailing me about a mystery man who has the hots for her. I listened & would reply as a friend.
She kept on about this person as if I hadn't already acknowledged the situation. The emails stopped shortly.
She had stamps made with her picture on them, but would ask what I thought about them. I said they're pretty, and in a friendly manner, I pretty much explained that I wouldn't want my face AND name and address on the same envelope to be seen by thousands en route to its destination.
Polly asked if I'd been modeling long. I said, "No..late bloomer" type answer as I do everyone who asks. She began saying in her emails that she could've modeled but her husband didn't want "strange men drooling all over her." I explained that modeling encompasses thousands of options & that, for instance, I could model as a soccer mom when my younger peers couldn't....and that elderly people model as well (polident, wheelchairs, etc).
I have never boasted about my being a model bec. if you pay attention, that could mean ANYthing.
Ever since then, it seems she has been "competing" with me. We got into a little distant cat fight if you will & I was blown away. She had been very giving & aside from all of the emails etc. which seemed to beg for my approval or something, she was ok!
(PS: This isn't the first time I've had alleged friends turn on me like a barrel horse on a dime...)
Well, later on she sent me a peace offering & I figured since all had been said in the "cat fight" that she would focus on other things - family, vacations, etc.
It hadn't been long until the 'need for approval' began again.
Even on the car club forum, everytime I change my picture, avatar, signature, etc. she changes hers.
Maggie (a woman over 45 and the counselor at a high school) noted the same behavior pattern -- from the first incidents until now.
Personally, I just didn't know how to describe her actions, the way she looked at me, copied me, etc. Jealousy is a common thing but I wasn't sure if that was the EXACT word I'd have used. Like "Jealousy and......??????" something.
My husband's ex wife made me feel the same thing. When Lynn & I started dating, she cut her hair to a bob & bleached it. (I had/have blonde hair & it was a bob cut). She started tanning, dressing like I did and even talked a LOT about becoming a police officer. The few times I saw her, she always had some police department demanding her apply with them, etc.
Later, she DID go thru an academy but failed the state licensing exam all 3 times. If you ask her now, she "removed herself" from law enforcement.
I had a family web site which included my childhood of barrel racing @ local play days, etc. SHe "raced barrels in the state finals"....didn't happen.
Polly gives me the same feeling. It's almost creepy & I'm glad we're not close to each other. Lynn's ex used to freak me out as it was.
I don't know how to describe it - its just.........WEIRD.
I emailed out a fun link where you upload a picture & it scans -- finding celebs who you "look like" (features, etc).
A few days later, Polly emailed her results & introduced it as "HEY!! MY FRIENDS KEEP TELLING ME ABOUT THIS SITE....I THINK ITS SCREWED UP...I DON'T MIND THAT I LOOK LIKE THEM SINCE THEY'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL..."
Due to being in law enforcement & practicing what I preach to others in similar cases, I have saved the correspondence with Polly.
I backed out of being on the Board of Directors bec. being around Polly was extremely awkward and since her husband is VP and is...well, her husband....I figured for everyone's sake, I'd back out. She accused me of being weird and all I had done was tell her the things that she did that freaked me out -- quit copying me etc. She chewed me out about things that I wondered "where in God's earth did THAT come from???"
I mean 99.9% of it was so far-fetched, it was unreal.
ONE MORE EXAMPLE OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD IS that a friend of hers (Tina) made some doll tags. Polly emailed them out to a lot of people and asked what we thought about them (they were sexy-come-hither type and had her name on them).
She told me in one email "I'm flattered that she (tina) thinks I look like that"
HUH???? :confused: I was thinking "It's a cartoon!!" (See my blog on MySpace).
Maggie and I were talking about how Polly sends out email pictures of her allllllllll the time. I send out pics of my girls, the horses, the cats, family stuff, bday parties, etc. (We joked and said that with Polly, it's "Here's me in the back yard....Here's me in a glamour photo...Here's me in a chair in Hawaii....Here's me and my dog...Here's me scratching my A**....")
And, what's bad is that we're not exaggerating. I have the proof.
She's made comments like, "Well, YOU'RE not the only one who can wear a bikini" when I asked who the lady was in a picture she'd put on her MySpace (back when we were "friends"...now, I don't go to it bec. before, she'd make comments & statements on her page that were about me, so I don't bother).
I still have that picture & one she sent recently which makes it very clear the first one was not her. (I don't understand that kind of stuff at all).
NOW....
Maggie, the club president, wants me to come back on a regular basis. There is nobody there to represent the 3rd Generation section and she misses me. (when all this happened with Polly, I felt like Maggie would "take her side" and it hurt bec. Maggie & I get along so great & love to have fun...which, I need every once in a while).
Maggie told me everything I already knew about Polly having issues upon issues. It was just good to hear it come from somebody else - esp. Maggie with her background and just being who she is.
The meeting is on the 6th & I asked for that day off, which I got approved, and I announced on the forum that I'd be there, that I missed everyone, etc.
I'm not sure how I'll feel that day. I almost want to excuse myself from going but know that I NEED to beat this. It's a 70 mile drive & I am so afraid of the shape I'll be in by the time I get there.