I just learned that my 7-yr-old son has been diagnosed with ADHD. My 10-yr-old daughter was diagnosed 3 years ago, and my wife of 13 years is also ADD.

I would really like to hear some tips, advice, encouragement, etc. from any of you that are living as the sole Non-ADD person in an ADD household.

The news about my son has me stressed. My wife tells me that with the help of their meds, the children will learn how to cope with the ADD and will be able to succeed in life, but have not seen much progress so far.

My daughter is very bright. When she's not on meds, her work is very creative and insightful, but it is often late and sometimes has to be re-done due to sloppy handwriting. On meds, her work is usually on time, and neater, but she is argumentative and tends to be hypersensitive to criticism. We have to strike a delicate balance between academic performance and behavior issues.

My experiece with my wife has been similar: She is unfocused, passive, and disorganized when not taking meds, hyperfocused, irritable, and still disorganized when taking them meds.

I am very worried that it will be the same story with my son.

As the only non-ADD'er in the house, how can I create an environment to help them learn to live with the ADD? What techniques and tools are there?

Hi there

Sorry I can't help you, I am dealing with a son and husband that were both diagnosed in the last year. I truly understand where you are coming from. I too feel lost! I do know that we are needing counselling and also I have been trying to find a parenting course for ADHD. So far no luck, but I hope there are more replies to your question as I would also be interested. Good luck and hang in there it isn't easy being in an ADD world at home.
mrs A

Hi: Welcome back Mrs. A. You'll notice we lost our exclusive place, but this is okay and we still have the private forum that you can get on at the very bottom. Let us know how your trip went.

Finding the right meds for each person will drastically help the situation. It will take time and trial and error but keep searching for just the right combination it is worth it. My husband is ADHD hyperactive/impulsive/stimulus addict and is not a very good patient he medicates with Madderall and alcohol. I would say he is not a success story. For him I prefer no meds to this combination!!

My son 7 is ADHD hyperactive/impulsive and is on Focalin it works very well for him and tends to help his mood swings rather than cause them. Adderall made him very grumpy. Since we have found the right meds for him he is probably my easiest child. He uses a long acting and we have some short acting tablets for those days when he needs a little extra help. He is having success and is happy with himself.

My daughter (11) is ADD inattentive and she has been through Adderall, Concerta & Focalin and they all are great for the focus but make her very grumpy! She has now started on the patch and no grumpyness. Still experimenting with the dose but I think this med will work out just fine. Next step was probably going to be adding something like Prozac to help with the grumpyness so I am thrilled that the patch is working.

Without the right meds every morning was extremely difficult just trying to get my son ready. I have tried timing, money, charts, positive reinforcement, waking earlier, waking later, soothing music and nothing has had as much affect as finding the right meds. If I wake him up a half an hour before he needs to get up and give him his meds then let him go back to sleep he can get himself completely ready and have extra time to watch tv. Without the right meds I am redirecting all morning.

My daughter has even made the comment it is not fair my brother took his meds so it is easier for him. It is a process that takes patience and time. I think that reading these boards has been extremely beneficial because other parents have found things that work and then I ask the doctor about them. If I didn't know to ask because I read it here maybe things would be different.

I agree it's a combination of the right medications and also educating yourself on how to deal with it and learning to exercise a great amount of patience!