I found this place in the nick of time. I have a lot of experience in dealing with AD/HD but even I am getting near the end of my patience rope!

My DH just started a new job this past summer. He is in a position of considerable reponsibility but he always feels like he is going to get fired.

I understand the depression but this paranoia is something new I am dealing with. He is skittish and compulsively checks the jobs board within his company to see if his position has been listed.

I am about to pull my hair out trying to calm and reassure him.

Anyone have any ideas on how to help him through this?

Does he have a reason for thinking that? Like: is he on probation, or have the last dozen people in that position been fired quickly, or has his manager expressed verbal or written disappointment in his performance? That sort of thing?

It's possible he has real proof like that, but he may not want to talk about it.

On the other hand, he could really be paranoid. My husband had a period of time where he acted paranoid. People were "looking at me" and "everything they say is sarcastic" and "sure he SOUNDS nice, but he really means he hates me". I think we all have a person or two who we don't really understand and we feel like that around, but with my husband it was Everybody - All The Time. It didn't matter what somebody (even me) said, it always got twisted around.

Eventually my husband was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and with Obstructive Sleep Apena. (In addition to ADHD and depression.) He was treated for both new diagnoses at the same time, and the paranoia went away about a month afterward. So it could have been either.

If this has been going on for a while, or if it's showing up in other situations (thinking he's going to be booted from his group of guys, thinking the homeowners association is going to make him move, thinking he's going to be asked to leave his church, etc) then it might be worth mentioning to his doctor.

Hope that helps!

Not sure I can help other than to say you're not alone. My DH has been battling with the same thing for years. He always feels like he's on the verge of being fired. We'll be talking about something completely different and he'll chime in randomly with "I don't think I'm doing so well at work" or "I'm not meeting my targets and I'm worried I'll be fired". The comments have lessened now that he's on Adderall, but the anxiety is still there. He doesn't check job boards or anything like that, but I believe it's in his thoughts most of the time.

The worst part is that I have no idea if his perception is accurate or not. It probably has some basis in truth, but is the situation that extreme? I have no idea. I used to feel like I had to whip out the pom-poms and try to reassure him, but I've learned to scale it back a lot. I think a lot of it is him verbalizing his anxiety. I've found that it helps if he can be specific about a problem at work that he's facing instead of talking about a vague feeling that he has. If he has a specific example, at least we have something to discuss.

Hope this helps

It really doesn't have any merits. He is doing a good job. He's just paranoid. Anytime someone might be unhappy with a small portion of his work, he thinks it's the end of the road. He just started his Adderall/Zoloft combo last week. I am hoping that helps. It just gets frustrating.

I didn't think about him just verbalizing. He often does think out loud. I guess the best therapy would just be to let him talk and hopefully that will help him realize what he really is saying and that he has nothing to fear.

Like Paranoid Personality Disorder?

Are you serious, or just using the term wrong?

We had an incident a while back here where a guy got on a bus and had to be shot by police (had a knife at the driver), b/c he was paranoid that authorities were out to get him.

People with paranoia can begin to attack others out of belief they are "defending themselves"... which ofcourse then GETS them killed, for being violent.


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Based on what you say, i think you should take him to a Doctor, or tell them his symptoms. (Under confidentiality, you can give a Doctor information about the patient; the Doctor just can't tell you BACK info from the chart/history.)

Talking aloud to himself is not a good sign, and the beliefs that he will constantly be fired (anxiety or paranoia), mean you are living with someone who is having some mental health challenges. It sounds like severe anxiety (with some depression), but careful, as that can progress to psychosis.

People do not understand that anxiety or depression can escalate to psychosis (a break with reality). This is what happens when new mom's postpartum depression escalates...they become psychotic.


The situation must be TERRIBLY stressful for you to live with. (Sometimes we cannot see how [or 'feel'] bad things are sounding; others have to point out that is sounds terribly bad.)

How is your own stress? How are you doing in coping with this?